Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Zombie Jesus Day 2013

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Happy Easter Everybody!!! I may be a few days late... but hey, I just found out that I have six months to live. Sorry, my mistake... April Fools was yesterday... so I think today is like... Groundhog Day or something? Anyway, holidays about. I did have a wonderful time on Sunday at Dizzy's aunt's crib... eating & making some sexy mother lovin' Easter eggs... BEHOLD!!!

Aside from that, it was kind of a rainy weekend... had my first meal at Black Bear Inn. I highly recommend it. Traditional American food (bacon, eggs, meat, cheese, lard, etc) and good proportions. I had hash browns & eggs for breakfast the next day. Good times.

As far as movies this week... let's see, Dizzy convinced me to watch "Tremors 3: Back to Perfection" because the quadrilogy (apparently there's four of them?) are pretty much her favorite movies. I'm not joking. She's so pretty... but hey, I love bad movies too. Anyway, if you've never seen the original with Kevin Bacon & Fred Ward... or the sequel... I mean... the third probably isn't going to inspire you... but hey, take a weekend, check 'em out... take a shot every time you hear somebody say "DON'T MOVE!!!" or shrieker or something. It's alright for straight to DVD...

Next up was the original "Red Dawn" and after watching it... I kind of hate that I have to say the original... because who the f**k would remake this movie. Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. The movie is from the mid-80's when coke was king & the likes of Patrick Swayze, Charlie Sheen, Lea Thompson, Jennifer Grey & C. Thomas Howell were young & fruitful (and not experienced actors). Basically, Russian & Nicaraguan soldiers just kind of parachute into small town America (somewhere in the Midwest but not enough snow in winter for Colorado) and take over a city of about a thousand people for some reason. Now... the Americans send a helicopter to merely kind of bother the intruders... and that's it. Okay, that's great, I'll go with it. Anyway, some of the high school kids run into the forest with an older brother (Swayze) and they live off the land... and then walk freely about town... and then retreat into the forest again without any real interference for the most part. The city is under watch... but yeah, it's just kind of occupied... there are a couple shootings... a lot of horrible marksmen for soldiers... and yeah, it's a horrible horrible horrible f**king movie. Period. I have no desire to see last year's remake starring Thor in place of Swayze. If you think it's a good movie, I pity you a little bit... but hey, to each their own. Luckily, I watched it with Basic Cable Commentary with Adam Carolla... and my lovely ladyfriend to laugh with me.

Next up is "Killing Them Softly" which is the new movie with Brad Pitt in a gangster movie... which after seeing the preview seemed like it had some promise. The story is about organized crime shenanigans in 2008 during the presidential election (by the way, what's the point of that going on throughout the entire movie? For the last line that Brad Pitt says? It seemed REALLY unnecessary... but then again so did a lot of the movie). Basically there are card games about town organized by a mobster (Ray Liotta) and an outsider (Pitt) gets called in to clean up the mess & establish order. He calls in his over the hill buddy (James Gandolfini) who basically just dose drugs & whores to help out... and it's not your usual gangster movie because... well it's just awkward & has to jump through a lot more hoops than you're used to... it's an intriguing way of doing it... but really just frustrating to watch aside from the occasion line from Brad Pitt. Picture the movie "Drive" but with more talking. That's basically what it is... and I didn't really like either.

Last up is "Zero Dark Thirty" which you know from all the Oscar talk last month... but from the director of "Point Break" comes this tale of... oh wait, I'm being told that she doesn't want to be reminded of that. Sorry, from the director of "Hurt Locker" Mrs. James Cameron comes the story of the hunt of UBL (I thought it was OBL but whatever...) for over a decade after 9-11. It follows a rookie CIA operative (Jessica Chastain) and it's actually a pretty gripping story that's a little one-sided obviously being for an American audience but shows a lot of the layers of intelligence gathering, vengeance & hunger (the three male emotions). Okay, you all know what it's about... if you haven't seen it you never intend to... but I thought it was pretty good... and about an hour too long. There, I said it.

That should do it for tonight. Next time, my mom will have visited... so excited about it. Have a great day everybody!!!

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