Friday, August 12, 2011

White Water In The Morning...

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

T-minus one week until the family is coming to visit… and I’m ready for ‘em. Can’t wait to give those kids a great big hug… as they’ve probably grown a few inches since I saw them in June. They’re like little weeds. Sigh… I’m also really worried about my brother. He just… doesn’t do anything except b**ch anymore. Not that he was doing a whole hell of a lot before a crack whore ripped out his heart maritally… but now, he doesn’t even try to apply for a job. He doesn’t even try to go out and meet people. No desire to learn a trade or even have a hobby other than playing video games. Yes, he’s watching the kids but… if it wasn’t for my mom, he’d be f**ked!!! Prison butt rape f**ked!!! He can’t even get help from Uncle Sam anymore. I don’t even know how to help him. He doesn’t want to help himself. Those kids depend on him. It’s not like their mother is going to do anything for them. We haven’t heard from her in almost a year… and it’s been AMAZING by the way. Any suggestions? I figure, show him how I’m living, have a good time with him & the kids, maybe see what his plan is (if any) over beers one night at the bar, I don’t know. He’s been really privileged up to this point… but he’s 28 years old now… and he has two kids… and he needs to get things in gear. He’s capable of it… just not willing apparently… and he’s too much of a douche to get by on charms & good looks. Anyway, still excited for next weekend. Here’s the news…

Baby Name Update – Now, I’ve been mocking baby names for years… and as anybody knows, what starts out as mocking usually becomes political & mildly ridiculous… but then again, ridiculous times call for ridiculous measures. Now not just the land of Kiwis & The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, New Zealand has joined a handful of other countries in banning baby names that are strange or unusual, Australia's Herald Sun reported. The move follows similar rules in Sweden, where Superman, Metallica and Elvis, and the name Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 (pronounced Albin) are not allowed; and the Dominican Republic, where gender-non-specific names such as Qeurida Pina (Dear Pineapple) and Tonton Ruiz (Dummy Ruiz) were banned. Yes, apparently somebody wanted to name their kid Dummy. Do you see why they have to go these measures? The list of weird names for kids banned by New Zealand’s names registrar has grown to include Lucifer, Adolf, Duke (WHAT??? I like Duke), Messiah and 89. Also not approved: Bishop, Baron, General, Judge, King, Knight and Mister. Those names were all said to be too similar to titles. So I guess if I’m to name my son King, then New Zealand is not the place for me. And with all the NBA Players going overseas… perhaps point guard Baron Davis isn’t welcome either. The agency has refused to allow names involving asterisks, commas, periods and other punctuation marks, as well as the letters C, D, I and T as first names, the Herald Sun reported. So the numeral 1 and X are still open. Get ‘em while they’re hot. I kinda like the idea of the random letters with the side note of pronounced Albin idea. It’s only a matter of time before binary code is introduced into baby naming. However, one thing will always remain the same about babies… nobody puts them in a corner…

Dirty Dancing Remake – He was slated to helm the "Footloose" remake opening this Fall (Craig Brewer eventually got that), now director Kenny Ortega has signed on try another dance-fuelled 80's remake - "Dirty Dancing" at Lionsgate says Deadline. The 1987 original followed a posh young girl Baby (Jennifer Grey) who falls for her dancing instructor Johnny Castle (the late great Patrick Swayze) in the Catskills. No word on what changes will be made to the story for this version… but I’m personally curious as to whether Baby will be the age of legal consent… because she definitely wasn’t in the original… and her instructor was a good decade older… at least… just saying. I know why it had appeal though… because of the dancing. Ortega in fact served as the choreographer on the original so is quite familiar with what made it work. No word on casting as yet, but the project is a high priority for the studio…. And names are being thrown around like “Dancing with the Stars” Derek Hough, Dominic Cooper, Miley Cyrus, Chase Crawford and the cast of “Glee” obviously. Just thought you should be aware. I frankly don’t care. I’ve seen it now. I get it. Ladies love it like guys love Scarface. We may never understand the appeal of the other gender’s love… but we’ll deal with it.

GI Bruno? – Apparently the recipient of the Academy’s prestigious Lifetime Achievement Award for Overall Badassery (and one time sidekick in my dreams) Mr. Bruce Willis is in talks to join the cast of "G.I. Joe 2: Retaliation" for Paramount Pictures says Heat Vision. Willis is in talks to play General Joseph Colton, the man who created and commands the elite covert special forces unit which shares the same codename as his own - G.I. Joe. Jon M. Chu (“Step Up 3D”) is directing the Lorenzo di Bonaventura-produced action flick which also stars Channing Tatum, Dwayne “THE ROCK” Johnson, Adrianne Palicki, Ray Stevenson and the RZA (WU TANG!!!). Shooting kicks off later this month in New Orleans. Hmm… well, you know what they say, if you can’t get my doppelganger (Dennis Quaid) then you might get my sidekick. By the way, should I have been offended that I was being compared to a man nearly twice my age? She did say a young Dennis Quaid, but then again, she may have had a few drinks. Maybe it was Randy Quaid that she meant… or Quaid from Total Recall. Damn it… now I want to start the reactor.

Keanu Update – It’s always a blessed event when I get to work the name Keanu into a conversation. Just because… it’s always so… dividing. Some think he’s a pretty good actor, some think he’s the worst actor ever, some say he’s box office gold, some have been sober the past 10 years, some people know about Dogstar, some just wonder if he’s the next celebrity to go in a trifecta. Regardless, it may have been a while since he was mentioned on this blog… but now, it’s a goodie. Sir Keanu Reeves is in negotiations with China Film Group and Village Roadshow Pictures to score funding for "Man of Tai Chi" reports Reuters. Now, brace yourself… but Reeves actually wrote the film… and if it goes ahead he will both star as the villain… AND make his directorial debut… on the Mandarin-and-English-language project. Okay, I know that was a lot… so I’m going to allow you a moment to reread the whole thing & process it. Okay, so he’s going to be the bilingual villain of a movie that he wrote & directed… and he’s Keanu Reeves. Tiger Chen, a member of the kung fu team in "The Matrix", will also star in the project which features some "serious fighting scenes" (as opposed to romantic fighting scenes like Mr & Mrs Smith). Further plot details are being kept quiet... so that it’ll be a surprise. I just… can’t wait to see what kind of movie this will be. It sounds… like a perfect storm of Keanu.

Batman Update – What’s better than a perfect storm of Keanu? (Besides a perfect storm of anything else?) How about a Batman update? Can do! They’ve been filming "The Dark Knight Rises" in Pittsburgh over the weekend at Heinz Field with several pro NFL players from the local Steelers team posed as members of the 'Gotham Rogues'. SPOILERS AHEAD!!! So if you’re wanting to wait for the film, fast forward to the next paragraph maybe… but it’s nothing major. 10,000 extras filled up part of the stadium to shoot a sequence involving a fictional game between the Rogues and the Rapid City Monuments. Said game is interrupted by violent explosions, players are killed and three tumblers (the vehicle Batman uses) roar onto the field heralding the arrival of Bane (Tom Hardy). Bane then proceeds to break someone's neck, grabs a microphone and talks to the crowd in a voice that is decidedly not what you expect - sounding almost like a meek and elderly British colonial accent of some sort. A full report is up at Spill Movie. Videos of the shoot can be seen below but as the extras shooting it was so far away from the action you can't see much. The distortions of a mask, stadium audio systems and the recording device taking the video aren't likely helping convey the true audio experience either… but they’re all on the link if you’re interested. So Bane has a bit of a primpy voice? Interesting… but he is played by Tom Hardy so… kind of expected, right?

Catwoman Update – Mmm… Warner Bros. Pictures has released the first official photo of Anne Hathaway in at least part of her Catwoman garb in Chris Nolan's upcoming "The Dark Knight Rises". The shot was found on under the file name 'selina_kyle.jpg' which has lead to the question about whether this is the full outfit. Half hidden by the Batpod, what we can see of the bodysuit seems fine. The great looking goggles of the comic have been replaced by less interesting and more conventional looking military-style ones, and there's no hint of a hood with or without cat ears. The timing is not unexpected. Hathaway is about to shoot some outdoor scenes in Pittsburgh so the studio is getting the jump on poor quality paparazzi photos. Now, I know the picture isn’t much… but hey, it’s a great start… and remember, Chris Nolan tends to keep these things at least loosely based in reality & this may just be more of her as a cat burglar kind of character before taking on the Catwoman persona or something. I have faith… and Anne Hathaway is smoking hot… so only about a year until I get to see the big movie. Anybody else interested out there? Thought you might be… and I’ve thrown in a few more pictures of past Catwomen, just because it’s my blog & I can dammit… who’s your favorite?

Eartha Kitt? Purrrrrrfect...

Julie Newmar... in a word... statuesque

Lee Meriwether? She rocked a Russian accent for "Batman: The Movie"

Michelle Pfeiffer? Batman Returns... for some crazy p**sy

Halle Berry? The only reason the movie was made...

Anyway, that’ll do it for today. Gonna go find a towel, shoot some hoops, hopefully be over this ankle I rolled a while back, softball starts soon but I’m not sure when. I’ll have to ask around & keep you posted. By the way, made lobster ravioli with goat cheese last night… and I highly recommend it. Have a great day everybody!!!

No comments:

Where Should I Go Next?