Thursday, February 10, 2011

Packers of Green Bay

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Let’s see… last time was right after George Clinton… so yeah, I think it was mostly work & unpacking during the week. I’ve been getting to know my roommates a bit… and I like ‘em. I approve. For example, Friday night I came home from work… and one of them (haven’t come up with good num de plume’s yet) has started her weekend a little early & is going for the Jack Daniels. You know what? We’ll call her Jackie Daniels… or Jackie D. Anyway, Jackie D was there & I had just gotten back from running a few errands. She is very outspoken & friendly… and we have VERY similar tastes in music, random references & we both know that the Eagles are the greatest team in football. She greeted me with “Happy Friday!!! Drink up!!!” and you really don’t have to suggest it to me twice… so she offers me some Jack in the fridge… but I’m a lightweight… so I want to mix it with something… and my choices were basically water, cranberry juice or what I chose… grape soda. Yes, I like grape soda… and I was convinced that if it turned out to be a good combination, that I would have to come up with a good name for my new cocktail. Gladly, there is no pressure to come up with a name for this beverage. It was like… grape flavored cough syrup… but in no way helping you fight disease.

We watched movies, laughed a lot, drank a bit, just had a merry evening when the other roommates came to join the festivities. Saturday was a beautiful day so I went walking around a bit… but had laundry to do to so stayed in the Presidio. That evening though, another roommate… we’ll say… Carmen since she’s from San Diego (which I believe is German for “the whale’s vagina”) invited me to a cocktail birthday party on Nob Hill for her friend. So we dressed up (as I do so well) and went to Le Club, which has a swingin’ 20’s atmosphere… and met the birthday girl’s family… but we were out of there after about an hour. It was one of those situations where I think she invited me because the only person she knew was the guest of honor… so she wanted me there to talk to, just in case. After Le Club, we decided to go to a bar near our apartment called The Final Final to play some darts. Alas the dart boards were spoken for… but the billiards table was not… so we played a few games, met some drunk gentlemen who challenged us to a game, and I’m pretty sure it was only so that they could see Carmen bend over when she shot… but whatever, we all got a great show.

Sunday was Super Bowl Sunday (in case you missed it) and the three of us (Jackie D, Carmen & Dr Love) went to another one of Carmen’s friend’s parties for the Big Game. The drive over was nice except for a little traffic getting to the 101, but it was okay because we know how to have fun in any situation apparently. The party was great with lots of food & drink, good people, and even the game wasn’t too bad. The commercials left something to be desired… but hey, we’re in a recession I guess. One interesting point was when Jackie D & I were just having a good time and getting each other’s references and just laughing at our own jokes… so one of the guys asked how long we’d been friends. “Well, we met for the first time… what? Two weeks ago? I moved in last Wednesday, then went to Vegas for four days… so we’ve known each like… a week? Maybe?” “Really? Because you guys seem like you’ve known each other for years.” “Well… Game recognize Game” then we toasted as we both got the Snoop Dogg reference. Good times.

Later that night, Bubbles sent me a text saying that she and her friend were watching movies (and drinking wine for hours) at her place, so she invited me over for a bit… and I wasn’t sleepy at all… so I went and saw a Katt Williams “LIVE” standup special… and I approve. Good wine, good friends, good times.

Monday, I basically spent the evening trying to set up my computer, PS3, etc so that they were ready to go… and I also got a special delivery… TWO NEW ROCK BAND GUITARS!!! See, my original had become useless after the four moves that it’s been a part of… so I found a good deal online… and got two of them for future Rock Band parties can involve a little “slappin’ da baaaass” and maybe even guitar duels. I’m still undefeated… though I’ve only done it twice… and they were both against Kyles (well, technically my brother Kiel & Lilie’s fiancé Kyle, but you get the drift). That’s really it that night though.

Wait, I did go wandering through the Netflix menu on the PS3 and found a gem that you might like… called a pretty low budget early 90’s sci-fi thriller called “Cyborg 2”. Why do I even mention it? Well… because it stars Elias Koteas (“Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”, “The Prophecy” & now one of the “Law & Order” series but I forget which one), the late great Jack Palance ("City Slickers" for you young'uns) and… wait for it… an extremely young Angelina Jolie as a sexual time bomb. No really… that’s the plot of the movie. She’s a super sexy cyborg… with a bomb in her, set to go off at the appropriate time for a (messy) assassination. Now, I’m not going to lie… but I kinda fast forwarded through most of this movie because… well it was late & you could tell in the first few minutes that it probably wasn’t worth full theatrical attention for nuances and such… but then, as you may have guessed, about ¾ of the way through the movie, BOOM!!! It happened… gratuitous sex scene with full on boobage. See, the Lord works in mysterious ways… but apparently he loves me… and loves us all for sharing this thing of beauty in the most random of places. Do I recommend this movie? Absolutely… but for all the wrong reasons. Besides, if that’s all you’re looking for… check out “Gia” too. Have I done an Angelina Movie List yet? I don’t believe so. In fact… I’m thinking the only Female Actresses I’ve done such a list for… are maybe Milla Jovovich & Elisabeth Shue… and I did do that one of actresses who have worked with Mickey Rourke. Not exactly award winners… but hey, I may have to devise one for Mrs. Jolie-Pitt. Hmm… haven’t done one for Brad either, have I? What was my point? Oh yes, Angelina’s breasticles… go forth & Google away…

Tuesday night, Bubbles wasn’t feeling well, so I got her a bottle of red wine (her request) and she relaxed while the roommates and I had a little Movie Night (though not complete because there was no popcorn, booze, etc). The first movie was “RED” starring Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren, Brian Cox, Karl Urban & Mary Louise-Parker (damn fine cast… including Ernest Borgnine… and I know what you’re thinking, and yes he’s still alive). The story revolves around Frank Moses (Willis) a retired CIA operative who in his retirement, has decided to make a move for a girl he talked to on the phone a few dozen times in Kansas City (Parker) but at that time, for some reason people are trying to kill him. He picks the girl up because they may try to come after her next (his only contact the past few years) and that’s how they meet. Nice, right? Well, he starts to find out why they’re after him… and so he asks for help from his fellow retired friends (Freeman, Mirren, Malkovich, Borgnine & Cox) to help him. That’s the story. The movie is actually pretty damn hilarious… and I highly recommend it. It’s not dirty, bloody or anything like that… but just great acting, some pretty ridiculous scenarios & just a lot of fun. I can’t believe this movie wasn’t a bigger hit… but hey, now you can save $30 and just rent it for a dollar at your local grocery store.

Next was “The Social Network” starring Jesse Eisenberg & Justin Timberlake, which as I’m sure you know (since you’re reading this online) is about the story of the founding, business boom & lawsuits involving Facebook & founder Mark Zuckerberg (played by Eisenberg). It’s actually a pretty damn good movie which I highly recommend. It does kind of paint Zuckerberg, the world’s youngest billionaire, as a bit of an egotistical prick of a brilliant man-child… but at the same time, it’s just a great story about our day & age… and how a great idea can be so simple & fundamental… but in the right (or wrong) hands can be completely capitalized or destroyed. Being a nerd, I found certain parts hilarious… and I almost hate to say it… but Justin Timberlake can kind of act. Sure, he was playing the flashy & arrogant founder of Napster Sean Parker who comes along but I’ve seen a few movies with him (“Black Snake Moan”, “Alpha Dog”, etc) and he’s yet to really disappoint (and no, I haven’t seen “Love Guru”). Anyway, great flick from director David Fincher (“Se7en”, “Fight Club” & “Alien 3”).

Tonight, who knows what’s going to happen? I’ve got “Machete” from Netflix, so I’m sure that’ll be involved… and I think I’m going to finally arrange the living room appropriately. See, we’ve been trying to literally give away this old couch but… we’ve been getting the run around on Craigslist… so we may just give it to Goodwill if they’re willing to come pick it up, but I may also be giving them some stuff so… I think tonight we’ll do the final moving around to see what stays & what goes. I’m quite excited about it… because I want to have a big housewarming party with all the neighbors… and right now it’s still kind of an eyesore. Well, enough about eyesores… because as promised…

Angelina Jolie Movie List

Medal Winners

Gold – Mr & Mrs Smith (2005) – Don’t judge me! You know I love this movie… and it’s a great movie… and it made them a family. Deal with it!!! If you haven’t seen it, watch FX. It’s always on there.

Silver – Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) – As you know, I feel that if you want a movie to be a huge blockbuster action flick… just give Angelina a gun & film it. It’s the “high society” version of those films of girls in bikinis with machine guns… you know, like on “Jackie Brown”? This is pretty much the pinnacle of it… because she’s basically in short shorts, tight top, strapped, English accent, and God damn it just look at her. The sequel wasn’t bad either… and she got to work with her dad Jon Voight for a few seconds (though I understand they don’t get along too well… but hey, that’s family business). Other good flicks to check out for this particular fix are “Salt”, “Wanted”, and even “Sky Captain & the World of Tomorrow” which I haven’t seen in a few years… but I remember her being a “futuristic” space general with an eye patch like something out of Starship Troopers… so I may have to watch it on Netflix again.

Bronze – Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000) – I don’t particularly care for her as a blonde… or with dreadlocks… but there’s just something about a gorgeous girl getting excited when talking about muscle cars that just gets me equally excited. Sigh… I miss my Baby… but alas, even though this isn’t the finest flick for… really anybody in this movie (Nicolas Cage, Giovanni Ribisi, Robert Duvall, Vinnie Jones, Delroy Lindo, Timothy Olyphant, Scott Caan, Christopher Eccleston, even Chi McBride had better) I still enjoy it on a primal level. Oh yeah… remake of the same title that starred Michael Caine, about stealing cars… for a reason. You’ve all seen it. Please do not front.

Suggestion – Changeling (2008) – This movie was downright gripping at some parts. Directed by Clint Eastwood (so you know it’s good), it’s the story of a woman in the 20’s in LA whose young child goes missing. Well, a little later, the police say they’ve found him… but the child seems different… like completely different… and you would think a mother would know. Did they bring her the wrong child? Why won’t the police (Jeremy Donovan) believe her? Has she gone mad? It’s pretty good… and she gets to flex her acting muscles. Some others that I would recommend are the romantic comedy “Life or Something Like It” with Edward Burns (I remember it because it came out on my 21st birthday), “Taking Lives” which was a fairly predictable thriller with Ethan Hawke, “The Bone Collector” which was a better thriller with Denzel Washington & Angelina as a lady cop (EEooEEooEE!!!), “Gia” which is the HBO biopic movie that made her a star (and aforementioned boobage), “Original Sin” which is a sexy thriller with Antonio Benderas, “Playing by Heart” which is a chick flick that was forced upon me by former coworkers… but actually wasn’t that bad, and did you know that she was apparently in the Fox series “Hackers”? Yeah… I didn’t watch it either. It must’ve been in that Friday night timeslot like “Firefly” was…

Flush It – Wanted (2008) – You know, if I say a movie is too gory, then it probably is. Though I do like the epic voice of Morgan Freeman crying out, “Shoot THIS Mother F**ker!!!” as much as the next guy… and the quick shot of the Jolie’s joli is always appreciated… but yeah, the movie never needed to be made. “Cyborg 2” was pretty close… but boobage. I always rag on “Alexander” because… well, you might’ve seen it, but it wasn’t THAT bad. Just an hour or so longer than it really needed to be. Seriously, he died when he was in his early 30’s, right? It’s not like he’s Gandhi. I also just want to give a little bit of a razz to virtual Angelina in movies like Kung Fu Panda & Shark Tale and such where it’s just her voice… but one movie got it right… and that is “Beowulf” and if you don’t know, now you know.

Future Watch – Cleopatra (2012?) – Hollywood is all abuzz about the possibility of Angelina as Cleopatra & Brad Pitt as Marc Anthony & I think rumors are flying about Steven Spielberg directing or some crap like that but… you never know until it hits the silver screen. I think the DVD for “The Tourist” should be coming out soon… because I missed my chance with this whole moving thing over the past month or so. Looking forward to that. I’ve also never seen the movie that made her an Academy Award winning actress “Girl Interrupted” and I’m not sure why… but it may have something to do with being about crazy chicks. I get enough of those in my daily life. It’s like a firefighter who goes home to watch a marathon of “Backdraft” & “Ladder 49” or something.

Anyway, that’ll do it for today. Thanks for listening to me ramble about the last week or so. Hopefully you enjoyed it. If not, maybe next time. Valentine’s Day is coming up on Monday, so this weekend should be great for those people. Sigh… historically this hasn’t been my favorite time of year… but whatever, I’m thrilled to be in San Francisco… and I’m surrounded by wonderful people… and I’m sure that I’ll find something incredible to do to celebrate the holiday… even if by my own damn self. Have a great day everybody!!!

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