Friday, February 4, 2011

Godfather of Funk

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

I know… I’m getting sloppy with keeping up with this thing… but rest assured, it’s not for a lack of trying. I’ve just been HELLA busy getting everything squared away with the new job, new apartment, moving in general, and then to be an ass… I went to Vegas for the weekend. I know, right? What the hell was I thinking? I’m glad you asked… because it had been a while since I went to visit my mistress… and I had planned this a few months ago… and I was going to f**k sh*t up with my Wingman… regardless of where I was flying from so… ain’t nothing changing but the tail number on the flight. Now, before that though, I was able to spend one evening in my new bedroom before that. Wednesday night, after work, I ran some errands & then started moving all of my bedroom stuff out of the living room into the recently-vacated master bedroom… and the only tricky stuff was the king mattress up a narrow staircase & the dresser for sheer weight, but it was done fairly easily… and I even set up the projector TV for my roommates… as they went through my extensive DVD collection & we chatted and got to know each other. I think they were more curious about me though… but seriously, what kind of a man has a collection of movies including everything from the Muppets to the Marx Brothers to Marilyn Monroe to Tony Montana to Martin Scorsese to Mariah Carey? Oh wait, that last one was a CD case they found. Don’t judge me. I’m a sucker for sultry R&B singers. Deal with it. They are… and they like it. Anyway, enough about that, on to Vegas…

Thursday after work, I took the BART for the first time… and managed to f**k that up. Apparently, you get off at a certain stop in San Bruno, then switch to another train that takes you out to the airport, even though the signage says to stay on a certain train until the next stop when you get off the train… so yeah, I looked like a dumbass getting off the train & then hopping right back on with my baggage. Luckily, I looked stupid enough that a few people noticed. I sat next to some guys in construction. “Excuse me, you going to the airport?” “Yeah, is this the right way?” “You want to get off on that last stop, go to the other side, and then that’ll take you out there… but now, it’s gonna be about 45 minutes or so cuz you have to get off at the next one at Millbrae, wait for that train, take it back there, wait for another one… you know?” “Ah… lame…” It was about this time that I felt a hand on my shoulder from behind. Luckily I could tell it was a lady hand otherwise somebody might’ve gotten popped.

“Sir, if you would like, I’m getting off at Millbrae & I could drive you out to the Airport if you would like. It’s just a few minutes from where I live.” “Well, I don’t want to intrude or anything…” “No intrusion. It’ll be my good deed for the day.” “Oh well… if it’s your good deed for the day… then it’d be rude to deny you that.” So Soccer Mom was there with a field trip as a chaperon with her daughter… but the daughter wanted to go hang out with her friends at In-n-Out Burger, so it was basically just the two of us running out to the airport. We chatted. She asked me where I was going, from, etc. & somehow we got to talking about traveling the world… and we both yakked about Italy & France (apparently she goes there every few months with her job) and yeah, good times. Then I got to the airport to find my flight delayed about two hours so… that 45 minutes wouldn’t have been a problem but I’m glad it worked out that way.

Eventually I made it to Vegas, met up with the Wingman, and we checked into the new Cosmopolitan hotel at the City Center on the Strip. The last time I had been to the Strip, the City Center was still a bit of an eyesore from my view at the Grand Chateau… but now, it’s a pretty hip trendy place to see & be seen. The hotel is VERY modern contemporary… but still pretty cool. They have a bar shaped like a giant chandelier, LCD screens EVERYWHERE, with images of Jellyfish on pillars, and hip futuristic designs throughout. Very cool, you should check it out if you get the chance, even just the casino. The rooms were pretty nice too… except one little thing. We had a room with two double beds, so intended for a family, right? Well, the shower… has this sliding curtain so you can watch the person shower… or if you’re more conservative, just watch their silhouette bathe. We decided that this hotel room was geared more towards swingers than family. Anyway, here are some pictures…

That night, we didn’t do a whole hell of a lot. Both of us had been up since the crack of dawn… and my flight was late… so we had a great Italian dinner at the Bootlegger & got some essentials at Safeway and then enjoyed the Fountains of Bellagio from the window of our 37th floor room and turned in around midnight.

Friday, we eventually got out of bed & wandered about the City Center & the Strip. Yeah, just wandered during the few daylight hours that we had, ate at Fatburger, grabbed a 100 oz alcoholic beverage by the yard (with a little extra booze courtesy of gratuity) & this started off the evening right… but here are pictures of the day first…
"That's your problem right there... your camshaft..."

Next was the Cirque du Soleil production Zumanity at New York New York. I had wanted to see this show for a while… because you know… I’ve heard great things about Cirque… but daddy also likes strip clubs… so when it came down to one or the other… I always went with the other… until they decided to combine the sensuality of the strip club… without the lingering smell. What is that smell by the way? Desperation? Smut? I think it’s smut. Anyway, this show was amazing… and very sexy & sensual… and incredible performers… and even funny. Don’t know what I need to do to be part of the interactivity with the performers (buy seats closer & be middle aged) but I may have to consider it. I highly recommend it.
This is actual the new Sirens at TI but... no pictures in Zumanity

After the show, we ugh… well… we went where gentlemen do when in Vegas and unattached to any female counterparts. No, not the clubs like Tryst (by the way, my favorite, just for the name), but rather the gentlemen’s clubs… and long story short, we found a great place to get Chinese food at 4 AM called… I think it was Harbor Palace… damn drinks… but they’ll kick you out at 5 AM. Trust me.

Saturday, we arose at the crack of noon, then enjoyed my new favorite Vegas buffet, the Wicked Spoon at the Cosmopolitan. Great food, wide selection, trendy atmosphere, and only $23 (or $35 if you want mimosas & bloody marys). I was severely stuffed by the end of the meal… and I had barely touched the dessert section with various gelatos for my enjoyment. Yeah… it was that good. Oh... and I jumped off the Stratosphere around sunset...

That evening, our first stop was the concert of the amazing Richard Cheese & Lounge Against the Machine at the Green Valley Resort in Henderson (about 20 minutes from the Strip). For those of you who don’t know (apparently new to the blog), Richard Cheese performs lounge version of hip-hop & heavy metals songs. You have the usual quartet of drums, bass, piano & lounge singer… and the fairly standard melodies… but the words are that of popular songs that… just go so well in the format. From the opener of “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails… to the tango of “Insane in the Membrane” by Cypress Hill… to a soulful rendition of “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix-A-Lot… to the closer of “Summertime” by Sublime, just an incredible show with plenty of humor to go around. Really considering going to see him again on February 20th here in San Francisco. The only problem… standing room only venue… but it worked pretty well later in the week, but more on that later. Again, highly recommended if they come to your town.

Next, the Wingman & I decided to go see “The Mechanic” starring Jason Statham, Donald Sutherland & Ben Foster. It’s the story of a hitman (Statham) who gets a job from his superiors to take out his own handler (Sutherland) which of course he does. Well, his handler’s deadbeat son (Foster) is hellbent on finding the man that killed his father… but asks the hitman for help. Awkward… and the story goes from there. Basically it’s everything that you’d expect from a Jason Statham movie. Fights, guns, blood, shirtless, car chases, more fights, more guns, steely demeanors, don’t get me wrong, I like Jason Statham & he’s obviously the best there is as far as action heroes nowadays. I’m just saying nobody in this movie will be considered for an Academy Award. Action was okay… story VERY predictable… see it if you’d like.

Sunday, I had an early morning flight, which apparently went to LAX before going to SFO, which kinda sucked… but whatever, I had a seat with good legroom so I let it slide. Got back to the apartment, started unloading a few boxes in the bedroom, got a pizza with the roommates, then… they found the Rock Band. At that point, any plans that I had to finish the bedroom went completely out the window… but a Rock Band Party ensued… so it was okay. I don’t think I need to tell you… but the ladies were impressed with the Golden Pipes… and they haven’t experienced the guitar skills yet (apparently it’s still broken, but two new ones are on the way).

Monday was work, then Bubbles wanted company for her monthly grocery shopping trip… and I didn’t have any food, so I accompanied her there… and to Petco (had Brutis’ back to make sure she got the good stuff). Eventually I made it back home, unloaded some more boxes, then when the roommates started going to bed, I decided to go downstairs & watch a movie, “Repo Men” starring Jude Law, Forest Whitaker & Liev Schrieber. It’s a futuristic story of people basically repossessing organ transplants when hospital bills aren’t paid in a timely manner. Seems to make sense, right? Yeah, if you’re a heartless cretin like me… but apparently it’s a bad thing. It’s a movie full of parellels & metaphors for the human condition… and it’s actually a pretty good flick, though gritty & bloody at times, but nothing amazing. The RZA had a cameo so I had to throw up a WU but other than that, not a whole lot of great things about the movie.

Tuesday was work, even though I was feeling a little under the weather (usual Vegas weekend flu?) then I was able to set up my bed, just in time to go to the George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic concert at Yoshi’s Jazz Club. The venue was surprisingly nice… not sure what I was expecting exactly but this was above & beyond… like a real nice jazz club with seats, waitresses, and of course… a dance floor. Once the music started, this white boy got funky. I hate to say it… but George is getting up there in the years… and I think he might have a throat ailment or two… but he’s still a great performer, full of charisma, and P-Funk is absolutely amazing. The concert was over three hours… and brought out all the classics… and even George’s granddaughter had a nice couple of numbers. I couldn’t quite make out her name (throat ailment or two) but yeah, pretty good. Google it. Even mild illness couldn’t keep me from getting my funk on for hours at a time… but I sure felt it this morning when I woke up. Well worth it though. If you EVER get a chance to see them in concert, do yourself a favor and get seats… or dance floor admission. Whatever’s clever.

Anyway, that’s the week that was. I’ll try to keep up on this thing a little better now that I’m starting to get settled… but hey, if you don’t hear from me, it obviously means that I’m out doing something fun… so I won’t feel too bad about it & neither should you. Have a great day everybody!!!

1 comment:

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