Monday, January 24, 2011

I'M IN!!!

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

It's getting so close to official it's scary. As of now, my moving van has been unloaded and all my crap sits in the living room of my new apartment. The occupants of my bedroom should be moved out by Wednesday night so that I can move in (and get some of my crap out of the living room) but then... I'll be heading to Vegas Thursday... but it's all good, because when I return, I'll have a home. It's been weird where I've basically only slept a night or two in my own bed since Christmas... but hey, that's what happens with the Holidays, moving to a new city, etc. Anyway, more details forthcoming in the weekend summary...



Friday night after work, I didn't do much because Bubbles was having a bad day... and I wanted to be there for her to help out... but she wanted privacy that night, so I just told her I'd be around & watched "The A-Team" downstairs. I kinda needed to relax (and find out what was going on with my new apartment) anyway, so it all worked out. You know, sometimes I wish I could just... make people feel better. Like THAT!!! Snap my fingers, pat them on the back, let them know how amazing & wonderful they are... and poof, all better. Unfortunately it's just not that way... but damn it, I'm gonna try to help... and she is feeling better now. Sometimes, all you need is time. Anyway, so "The A-Team" starring Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper & Jessica Biel was exactly what you would expect in an action-comedy... or as Bubbles so properly put it "a total guy movie" and she's right... but still liked it. Based on the infamous 80's TV series, this is kind of the prequel (setting up future movie sequels) to the TV series, about four Army Rangers who meet by chance in Mexico, become an elite team for the military, and then are caught in the middle of a fiasco in which they are blamed for a death of a general, stealing a billion dollars (yes, a Billion with a B) & sentenced to 10 years in prison. So obviously they have to break out of prison and clear their names... and then Act 2 begins. It's pretty funny at points, full of action, all the cheesy one-liners & "stupid" love story that you would expect... but yeah, if you like action-comedies, it's a pretty good one. I thoroughly enjoyed it... so much that I had no problems with watching it a second time when Bubbles wanted to check it out the next day.



Saturday, during the day, I wandered around the Presidio to get acquainted with my new home (and let Bubbles sleep in) so I basically wandered down to Crissy Fields... then to Fort Point at the base of the Golden Gate Bridge... and then back towards the Palace of Fine Arts & the Exploratorium... and then I was ready to take the shuttle into downtown for a bite... but the shuttle doesn't run on weekends or holidays (I found out 40 minutes later) so I walked to a burger joint just outside of the Presidio Gate (I think it was Original Buffalo Wings or something). Here are some pictures...



Saturday night, Bubbles & I met up with a friend of hers from Vegas... at a drag show... at a bar called Aunt Charlie's... in the Tenderloin... which I found out... is the ghetto. Luckily I now know where I can get some cheap crack in a pinch... but we were kinda dressed up (definitely by this place's standards) and it's not like we knew exactly where we were going. Alas, we made it safely (I'm kind of an imposing figure), enjoyed the show, had a few drinks & even went to Icon to dance... for about 20 minutes before closing. It was a pretty fun night... and the best part, Bubbles didn't drink herself into a stupor. YAY!!!



Sunday, I met up with the new roommates (ended up meeting all three of them eventually) and they are AWESOME!!! I'm really excited about it. I met two of them around noon, we chatted, discussed bills, house rules, application to live in the area, blah blah blah, you know, roommate stuff... and I brought cookies (because I'm awesome too) and we just got a long great. They're fun, energetic girls in their twenties with college degrees (straight, by the way... but there doesn't seem to be any real sexual tension either way... and I have my own bathroom so no "Oops!!! Wow!!!") and they even offered to help me unload my moving van... after knowing them for an hour. So yeah... they helped a bit (you know, 30 pound limit and all) and then after unloading, we went to a place called Avellino's right outside the Lombard Gate for pizza & a few beers... and that's where we ran into the third roommate. Again, really excited... though obviously cautious since I'll be living with three female roommates... and the only female roommate I've ever had is my mom when it was just the two of us... but hey, I seem to remember that going pretty damn well.



Sunday night after pizza was TPN at Bubbles' household. What's TPN you ask? Twin Peaks Night... in which they watch a few episodes of the incredibly odd TV series Twin Peaks... and in between they have wine, homemade pie & ice cream. Yeah! Perfect! That's what I said too. Since I had helped Bubbles catch up with the last 6-7 episodes of Twin Peaks, I was right there with them... or as right there as somebody can be with the David Lynch show... but yeah, good times. So then after that, I fell asleep to watching Mystery Science Theatre 3000 "Hercules Versus the Moon Men" because I had an early morning... in which I FINALLY dropped off my moving van... and was charged a substantial sum for it. How substantial? Well, when I walked in the door, the guy said "You must be the Reno guy!" "Yes... I am the Reno guy... who's putting your kids through college for the past week." That's how substantial. Oh well, it's done & I now have absolutely no problem with selling my stuff before the next move if needs be... but they probably won't. I plan on sticking around for a while. I like it here. I like the roommates. They seem to like me (but we've known each other an afternoon). The job's great. The people are amazing. There's so much stuff to do that I'm not even taking advantage of yet. I'm liking it a lot. So here's some news...



Nose Bandit - A 22-year-old Salt Lake man was charged Wednesday with felony mayhem for allegedly biting off a piece of another man's nose, court documents state. The second-degree felony count of mayhem, domestic-violence related, was filed in 3rd District Court after a Sunday incident involving Joshua Michael Bowen, 22. A statement by police says Bowen became angry and attacked the father of his girlfriend (yes, this nose biter had a girlfriend). He is accused of biting the other man on the nose, taking off a piece of it and then putting his finger in the man's mouth to rip the side of it open (“Why so serious?”). The girlfriend's 20-month-old daughter was home at the time, resulting in the domestic violence enhancement. Sounds like a great guy, right? Well, this isn’t the only nose-related news…



Snorting is NOT Good - Burglars snorted the cremated remains of a man and two dogs in the mistaken belief that they had stolen illegal drugs (in an urn?), Florida sheriff's deputies said on Wednesday. The ashes were taken from a woman's home in the central Florida town of Silver Springs Shores on December 15. The thieves took an urn containing the ashes of her father and another container with the ashes of her two Great Danes, along with electronic equipment and jewelry, the Marion County Sheriff's Office said. Investigators learned what happened to the ashes after they arrested five teens in connection with another burglary attempt at a nearby home last week. "The suspects mistook the ashes for either cocaine or heroin. It was soon discovered that the suspects snorted some of the ashes believing they were snorting cocaine," the sheriff's report said. Once they realized their error, the suspects discussed returning the remaining ashes but threw them in a lake instead because they thought their fingerprints were on the containers, sheriff's spokesman Judge Cochran said. Police divers were trying to recover the ashes (really? You know those things don’t handle water well, right?). The suspects were jailed on numerous burglary and other charges. You know… it sounds really stupid, right? Well, I’d be lying if I hadn’t heard my friends talk about getting cremated… and then wanting me to snort them. “Dude, no way. Maybe a horrible cup of tea or something, but there’s no w… wait, why the hell would you want that?” This would usually start a rant during which I would question why we were friends… but yeah, it is stupid.



Confiscated Mammoth Tusks - Russian authorities have confiscated three tonnes of mammoth tusks from a criminal gang which tried to smuggle them out of the country (that's right... ruskie tusk smugglers are REAL!!!). The court office of the northern city of St. Petersburg said on Thursday that it had confiscated some 64 full and 14 reconstructed tusks, but would not say when. A small group of criminals has been involved in smuggling tusks and bones from the extinct beasts across Russia's borders since 2004, the court said in a press release. The court said that the tusks come from a species of mammoth that once inhabited the Siberian Sakha Republic, also known as Yakutia (possibly made up). The tusks have survived thousands of years in the permafrost that covers vast part of the region... where their former honors have long since perished. The good news is... that the tusks have been found... and there's apparently a black market for prehistoric skeletons in Russia... so my dream of owning a T-Rex skull isn't a complete fantasy, just an expensive endeavour. Good to know... in case any of you are wonderful what to get me for my birthday and/or Christmas... and Valentine's IS just around the corner...



Iran: Not the US - Our favorite non-Christian country, Iran, has done it again. They have banned the production of Valentine's Day gifts and any promotion of the day celebrating romantic love to combat what it sees as a spread of Western culture, Iranian media reported. The February 14 celebration named after a Christian saint is not officially banned but hardliners have repeatedly warned about the corruptive spread of Western values. Under Iran's Islamic law, unmarried couples are not allowed to mingle (yeah... they just kind of marry... and live unhappily ever after I guess... or stay single & frustrated and blow up market places... think about it). The printing works owners' union issued an instruction on the ban, imposed by Iranian authorities, covering gifts such as cards, boxes with the symbols of hearts and red roses. "Honoring foreign celebrations is the spread of Western culture," said the union's head, Ali Nikou Sokhan, ILNA news agency reported. "Our country has an ancient civilization and various days to honor kindness, love and affection." Valentine's Day has become increasingly popular among the Iranian youth and is a money-maker for businesses in a country where 70% of people (left) are under 30 and have no memory of the 1979 Islamic revolution which toppled the U.S.-backed Shah. "Printing and producing any products related to Valentine's Day, including posters, brochures, advertising cards, boxes with the symbols of hearts, half-hearts, red roses and any activities promoting this day are banned," read the instruction. "Authorities will take legal action against those who ignore the ban." Some nationalists have suggested replacing Valentine's Day with "Mehregan," an Iranian festival celebrated since the pre-Islamic era. Mehr means friendship, affection or Love. That's right... in Iran, I'm referred to as Doctor Mehr-la-Allah-Sherpa. Google it.



What do you think about Valentine's Day? For the sake of argument, let's just agree on the FACT that is just a commercial holiday meant to stimulate the economies of greeting cards, candy, flowers, clothing, dinners, jewelry & top dollar vacations (for us big ballers). It's an absolute fact... and if you don't know, now you know. I'm in the industry. Does that mean that I'm completely against it? Of course not. That's like being against the Spirit of Christmas because I'm Jewish or something. I can still be kind to people... as I can also believe in romance & Love and all that hallmark crap even though my memories of Valentine's are plentiful & primarily sh*tty. Do I think it should be banned? Please. If they're not going to ban St. Patrick's Day because it promotes alcoholism & promiscuious sex (oh... and cultural diversity?) then what chance do you have against banning Love? I'm optimistic about this Valentine's though. Why? Why not? I'm in a beautiful city. I'm a charming man. Worst-case, if Bubbles is still (incredibly enough) single, I'm sure she'd be down for a night on the town... or the roommates... or I can celebrate National Single Awareness Day the old fashioned way, getting drunk with friends watching Scarface or Fight Club or something. Oh... you would think Love Actually or some cheesy romantic comedy, right? F**k that cheesy sh*t. I'm having a good time... and I half-gag when I watch that stuff sober, so after a few games of shotglass checkers, something bad might happen.



Anyway, that'll do it for today. Thanks for listening y'all... and I'll see ya around... probably after an epic weekend in Vegas with the Wingman. Have a great day everybody!!!

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