Monday, February 28, 2011

We've Found Roommates

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Sorry, been a pretty busy week… and it feels like I’ve been saying that since I moved here… mostly because it’s true. In fact, I’m certain that I’m going to miss a few things in my wrap-up of this past week… but I blame the short term memory… and the booze.

First & foremost, Taco Tuesday was a complete success!!! All four of us roommates came together, made a fine meal of chicken & veggie tacos, black beans, Spanish rice, various salsas & margaritas that were actually pretty damn good if I say so myself… and wine for those who don’t care for tequila. It was the four of us, two adjoining neighbors that we’ll call Zack & Miri (because I love that movie), and then Bubbles with two of her roommates, so nine all together… and of course the sombreros. The dinner was delicious, the drinks delectable, the conversation hilarious, we will definitely have to do it again sometime. In fact, this coming Tuesday, Jackie D won 10 tickets to a comedy show near work, so we will be yucking it up VIP style at the late show with a two drink minimum. BOOSH!!! Oh… and here’s a picture of my sexy self… VIVA LA BROWN!!!

Wednesday & Thursday were mostly hanging out with Jackie D & Carmen watching movies & chatting about their future plans… and just having a good time. The first movie was “Not Easily Broken” starring Morris Chestnutt, Taraji Henson & Kevin Hart. Basically it was a drama about two married people (Chestnutt & Henson) who communicate poorly & are pretty damn selfish. I could go into more details… but why? It was a pretty good movie and all… but it just reached a point where I was like “You’re both f**king crazy stubborn children & you need to sit down and talk things out without taking your ball & going home.” Kevin Hart was great as the comic relief though.

Next was “Just Wright” starring Queen Latifah & Common. The story goes… Scott McKnight (Common) is a basketball All-Star for the Nets, but he blows out his knee… and Miss Wright (Latifah) is the therapist in charge of bringing him back… but she’s also the sister of his gold-digging ex-girlfriend, but hey, he’s a nice guy with a sh*t load of money, she’s a smart & funny therapist with a few extra pounds on her, who knows? It’s an okay romantic comedy, but I don’t plan on seeing it again. Not gonna lie. You may wanna give it shot though. Rom-com’s are my life… and it’s not costarring Renee Zellweger.

Friday night, Jackie D & I went out to the Mission area to have some wonderful Spanish tapas & paella at a great restaurant called Pirabo, followed by the funky Afrobeat sounds of Albino at the Elbo Room. You may remember Albino from their concert in Lake Tahoe several months ago… and they were amazing as well this time. Jackie D even feigned interest for a while… but wanted to dance dance dance somewhere else, so we then headed over to Blondie’s to shake our asses. We closed that place down and of course, Jackie D had not one, not two, but FOUR guys follow her on the way out trying to get the digits (with this tall white boy next to her). She was laughing hysterically as they were trying their lines and re-introducing themselves thinking that she was drunk, but she basically said to them in the most cheerful voice possible, “Thanks! Nice to meet you (blank). I’m never going to see you again. Ever” and then we had a delicious burger at Urban Burger, hailed a cab & had another epic evening to remember.

Saturday, we had another roommate interview. Oh, by the way, did I explain the roommate situation effectively before? Carmen is moving out tonight. We offered the room to McDavis but she backed out on Friday after Tracy sent her an email (no idea why). Red & Belle found places elsewhere. Tracy doesn’t want to meet New York (whatever). Lame, right? Well, Jackie D was offered an incredible job in Philadelphia… and after consideration the past few weeks, she’s decided to take it… but it ended up being the perfect situation, because Nurse was interested in Carmen’s room, but needed to get furniture… but Jackie D is leaving all of her furniture (bed, armoire, desk, etc) so Nurse will be moving into Jackie D’s room in a few weeks… but we still need to find someone for Carmen’s room. Got it? Good.

The interview on Saturday was with EIEIO, because I make up the names. She seemed sweet enough & was gainfully employed nearby… and of course kinda cute, so I was down. There was one thing though… and it was her quiet, yet high pitched Valley Girl syntax… where she would like use “like” like every other word, right? You know what I’m saying, I just demonstrated. I didn’t really mind… but Tracy didn’t take to it too well. At this point though, if the next few interviews didn’t go well, I was ready to offer the room to the next person that would sign a check that wouldn’t bounce, f**k what Tracy had to say in the matter.

Then Jackie D & I went clothes shopping in Union Square. What? Me? Shopping for clothes? Yup. I have to step my fashion game up apparently... and Jackie D insisted on taking me. I learned a lot about what looks good on me & what doesn't. I need some help... but got off to a great start thanks to her. She's good peeps.

Saturday night, Jackie D, Bubbles, the Other $teve (Bubbles’ gay boyfriend) & myself went on an awkward evening. First off, we didn’t start until like midnight because… I’m not entirely sure why. Then we went out to the bar where The Other Steve works at… but it was a private party (and I think was a gay bachelor party so… really not my scene), so then we walked to another bar that was pretty much a dive, but they made good drinks. We were there for about a half-hour, then walked to Icon under the geist that it was 5-6 blocks away… when I counted more than a dozen… and we finally got to Icon, were there for about 10 minutes before it closed… and at this point, the buzz that I had going was gone. Next was the After Hours Party, and basically… I didn’t feel it. First off, there was a cover charge… and for some reason, Bubbles & Other Steve didn’t have any cash on them… and they KNEW it was cash only. Whatever, so we go in, it’s dark, the “bartender” is some dude with three jugs and a bottle of vodka. “How much are drinks?” “$10” “What do you have?” “Vodka.” “Just vodka?” “And cranberry juice or soda if you want it.” “For $10?” “Yup.” “Hell of a business you’ve got here. I’ll take a few vodka & cranberries, please.” Cash only of course, so I’m personally down a C-note and we’re a minute in the door. Then came the 45-minutes in line for the one bathroom (I was seriously looking at one of the many sinks available as an alternative) all while house music was playing & the only light was a projector playing some fashion show. Also, there was mid level drug use, which is definitely not my scene. Still, we were there for a few hours… but then everybody wanted to go, except Bubbles. Her roommate who invited us was there though, so she’d be in good hands. Yeah, overall, just kind of an awkward night… but mostly because the planning was half ass. Seriously didn’t know where we were even going until we left… at midnight… and yeah, you know the rest from there. Oh well, you know what they say, when in Rome… “Actually that isn’t really relevant to this situation.” Sorry, I still don’t know what that means. “You’ll get it.” So yeah, slept like a baby starting at 5:30 AM.

Sunday, I woke up around 10 AM because we had another roommate interview at 11 AM. This one may very well be the next roommate… and we shall call her… Splits. Well, she was a professional gymnast & now works with the always nationally ranked Stanford University team (so that means she & Nurse would be making that commute because they love the Presidio so much) and she’s got the gymnast body. You know, short, thick & I’m assuming flexible… which daddy like, but yeah, not trying to get awkward like that. She also had a very warm smile… and she was basically answering questions almost exactly like I was, about loving the area, being in the City but also surrounded by nature & the beach, all the great things to see & do, chilling at a jazz club, going to festivals, all that stuff. So yeah, Splits may be the new roommate… which if you think about it… means that I’ll be sharing an apartment with an actress, nurse & gymnast. The way I see it, worst-case scenario, actress become a drama queen… then nurse steps in to try & calm her down… and if that doesn’t work, gymnast gives her a spinning back kick right in her ass… all while I watch from a safe distance. We shall see.

After that, I wandered around the Presidio on a beautiful day… then met up with Jackie D to go find some pulled pork sandwiches using Jack Daniels’ pulled pork at Safeway. Oh, by the way, found a place with great Southern food called Hard Knox Café near my house. So yeah… basically we had to go to two different Safeways to find it, which wasn’t quite as bad as the four places that I had to go to in finding ice for Taco Tuesday. Seriously, what the f**k kind of gas station doesn’t have ice? Apparently, all of them in San Francisco. Anyway, we did some grocery shopping and watched a few movies with pulled pork sandwiches, red beans & rice, and a selection of wine. Delicious!!!

First up was “Prince of Persia: Sands of Time” starring Jake Gyllenhall, Gemma Arterton & Ben Kingsley. It’s the story of a peasant boy who was adopted by the King of Persia, grows up with two brothers, and then (shockingly) he is betrayed by somebody, framed for the king’s murder & has to run off to find the truth & avenge his father’s death. Throw in some mystical dagger with some sand that can make you go back in time, a few incredibly predictable plot twists, some inexplicable English accents in the middle of the Hindu Kush & yeah, you’ve got a whitewashed Disney movie. That being said, some of the action scenes were pretty cool & full of parkour… and there were a few funny moments…but yeah, kinda wish I had the dagger to go back two hours & use it for something else. It could’ve been worse though…

Because next was “Legion” starring Paul Bettany, Charles S. Dutton & Dennis Quaid. Now, the first time I saw the preview for this movie, where an old lady in a diner in the middle of nowhere says “Your baby is going to burn!” and then starts climbing the walls & sh*t, I knew the movie would NEVER live up to the preview. Why? Because it was unexpected. Anyway, basically it’s “The Prophecy” set at place called Paradise Falls in BFE where the Christ child is being born by a mother who still smokes & is helped along by a mechanic who she doesn’t care for but isn’t the baby’s daddy (apparently God is?). Enter the angel Michael to try & save the child from an army of angels because God wants to wipe the world of humans… and two hours later you’re looking for that dagger again. Really didn’t care for this movie. Double pass.

Anyway, that was the week that was. Lots of fun, lots of adventure, and lots of adult beverages, but I’m quite responsible. This week should be more of the same. I’ll be sure to keep you posted. Have a great day everybody!!!

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