OKTOBERFEST!!! - The September Edition

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

Well, it’s been a busy few days. Over the weekend, the Wingman’s Eldest got married in Utah… and I’m sure it was a beautiful ceremony, though I wasn’t there to experience it first hand. That is the one major drawback of living in California… a lot of my family & friends live two states (and an ever more expensive Southwest flight) away so I don’t see them but a few times a year. It’s nothing like before when I would typically see my mom, brother, niece, nephew & dad all over the course of a week because they all lived within an hour’s drive. The Wingman & other friends would be every few weeks or monthly… and then extended family & such would be maybe once a year. Luckily technology can help to bridge that a little bit but… it’s just not the same to me. I mean… I really enjoy seeing my mom, niece & nephew using the PS3 chat and all… but it’s usually just the kids screaming because they’re so excited to see Uncle $teve on the TV… and then them running around & jumping off the furniture while my mom’s back is turned & trying to talk to me over their screams. Cute… but yeah, not quite there.

 

Speaking of my niece… she got in trouble… like pretty bad trouble I think. Apparently the other day, she was at school (1^st grade if you’re keeping score) and the way it was explained to me by a 3^rd or 4^th party… was that there was some thing going on with a friend wanting to play with another friend or whatever… and Kairi said that she was going to “gut you like a pig”. Yup! My adorable six-year old niece allegedly threatened to gut another six-year old like a pig. Yeah, let that sink in for a moment. However… then I got to thinking “Where did she learn that?” My brother can be a bit of a psycho at times… so before raising kids I could definitely see him saying that… but not around them… at least as far as I know, so I gave him the benefit of a doubt. Well… apparently… in the latest installment of “Ice Age: Continental Drift” there’s a character named Captain Gutt (voiced by the great Peter Dinklage) and I haven’t seen it… but apparently there’s something said along those lines in that movie… and of course, Kairi being a sponge of all things cute and/or evil, she soaked that right up. She has had a talking-to about its appropriateness, I assume grounded for a bit & hopefully that’ll be that… but you never know with these things. The kid’s parents may be asshats or something. So yeah, kids say the darnedest things.

 

Huzzah! I have a book review for you! I know it’s been quite a while since I reviewed a book… hmm… I think the last one might’ve been “Pimpology” a few years back… but in my newfound budding passion for learning about beer & homebrewing, I’ve read “How to Brew: Everything You Need to Know to Brew Beer Right the First Time” by John J. Palmer. The book comes pretty standard with most first-time homebrew kits, either this of “The Joy of Homebrewing” which Dizzy is currently reading & I may have a review at a later date… but first batch first. “How to Brew” is a great resource for anybody looking to brew their own. The first few chapters go over the basic steps & preparations for the brewing process… and then the following chapters to more in-depth into the science & variations of each step. For example, the process will be something like:

 

1)       Boil the wort

2)       Add hops

3)       Chill wort

4)       Siphon in fermenter

5)       Add yeast

6)       Let ferment for a few weeks

 

… and so on… but then the next chapter will explain why you boil the wort, then what temperature to add the ingredients & why that temperature and not higher or lower… and then the different kinds of things you add to the wort like the wheat, barley, hops, extracts, etc… and then why a quick chill is preferred & a few different methods… and then more in depth about the yeast used & why different beers have different instructions. Along the way it also explains a little bit of the history of beer & origins of certain recipes… and of course plenty of advise on how to start with a few simple batches… and then when you’re ready to step your game up and try preparing your own mash (ingredients)… and then how to vary the recipe to meet your liking or get a desired effect. I found it REALLY interesting & can’t wait to test my own product from reading this first book. I understand that my first batch may not be excellent… but it’s pretty simple & once I know that I can get the process down, then it’s time to really experiment. As you can probably guess, I’ll keep you posted about it… but yeah, it’s a great book for the subject. I highly recommend it.

 

Tuesday nights, Dizzy & I watched “Grosse Point Blanke” starring John Cusack, Minnie Driver, Dan Aykroyd, Alan Arkin & Joan Cusack. It’s a mid-90’s romantic comedy about a hitman (Cusack) who goes to his hometown of Grosse Point in suburban Detroit to A) Kill a man for money and B) Try to rekindle a relationship with the woman (Driver) he ditched a decade earlier at the prom to join the Army and start on his current career path of “moral flexibility.” In his trip down memory lane, he finds that his childhood home has been turned into a convenience store & his love interest is still pretty pissed at him… but yeah, she’s at least willing to hear him out because… I guess he’s John Cusack? I mean… I can understand that. The man hasn’t aged a day since 1984. I assume he has a horrendous portrait in an attic somewhere. Anyway, it’s a pretty standard rom-com with plenty of awkward moments, a rival hitman (Aykroyd) trying to take him out, his therapist (Arkin) who encouraged the whole thing now trying to avoid his constant barrage of calls & spoiler alert: He ends up hooking up with Minnie Driver. I know, shocking! That being said, if you haven’t seen it, check it out… it’s okay… it’s a rom-com so I assume that anybody who has been interested in ever seeing it already has… but still.

 

Saturday, it rained buckets in the morning… so after some breakfast, Dizzy & I headed over to my buddy J-Mo’s apartment down the street where they were having a gaming party testing out one of their game designer friend’s new game called “Bomb Squad” (available on the Mac now, I believe) and it’s basically one of the greatest games ever… and it’s really just simple enough, yet strategic, for just about anybody… and you’ll have a GREAT time playing it. Anyway, we played that for a few hours while catching up, having food, drinking beers, etc. When we mentioned that we were doing homebrewing… basically everybody was quiet for a minute… and then wanted to know when the party was going to be. So we’ll definitely have to keep them posted as well. It’s starting to sound like I may not have enough beer to support a “tasting party’ until we have 3-4 batches at least now… but yeah, that’ll be around Thanksgiving or early December I think. Great times with great peeps!!!

 

Saturday night, we watched “Olympus Has Fallen” starring Gerard Butler, Morgan Freeman, Aaron Eckhart & others. After seeing “White House Down” a few months ago, it’s basically the exact same plot. An agent who wants to be secret service (Butler-Tatum) is the only person that can save the President (Eckhart-Foxx) from mercenaries during a hostage situation at the White House while the Speaker of the House (Freeman-Jenkins) takes over Presidential duties. The only difference really in this one… is it’s a strong R rating for violence & language whereas “WHD” was almost PG-13 I think… and somehow, this movie was even MORE farfetched& over the top patriotism and just… this is not how an assault on the White House would’ve gone down… at all. I’m not saying that “WHD” was a lot better… but I enjoyed it a LOT more. I wouldn’t recommend this movie… and it pains me to say because it’s a good cast, decent director, just a horrible script I think.

 

Sunday morning, Dizzy & I woke up and headed out to Japantown to see a Sumo Wrestling demonstration. We were going to go last year, but it conflicted with the Utah family reunion… so we were really looking forward to it this year… and it didn’t disappoint (like Ssisso Lounge for lunch kinda did service wise). They had a few professionals including a 3-time former yokozuna champion come out & display the standard techniques, exercises, etc & then had a few matches where the champion took the field… twice. Very impressive. I highly recommend it!!! Here are some photos…

 

Afterwards, Dizzy had to go to work, but I met up with Bubbles & a special surprise visit from Jackie D flying in on business to go to Oktoberfest by the Bay at Pier 48 (over by AT&T Park where I’ve helped with a few charity events before). Yes, OKTOBERFEST!!! Even though it was kinda mid-September… but still, there was a great oompah band playing… the beer was flowing pretty well… most were decked out in their lederhosen, spats & feathered caps like a German Players Ball… and yeah, great times with great people!

 

Afterwards, we headed over to 21^st Amendment for some food & yet more beer… and we ran into Carmen (my former roommate from almost 3 years ago) who was actually working the event & she joined us briefly. Yay for surprise roommate cameos!!! The food was okay, beer was pretty good, but eventually it turned into Jackie D & myself going to Thirsty Bear for some more beers & catching up. Again, great times with great people… kinda wish Dizzy could’ve been there but we all have our responsibilities.

 

That’ll probably do it for tonight. More adventures on the way though… and this weekend, we battle our first batch & maybe even start yet another in our homebrew adventures. Have a great day everybody!!!

Chapter 2: Pumpkins, Dragons & WAR

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

This weekend was pretty awesome… except for the Eagles losing but… let’s face it, we can have high expectations all we want but we had the #4 pick this last year and “improved” by signing… a college coach… and a 3^rd string quarterback in Matt Barkley. So yeah, back to realism in that regard.

 

Saturday, Dizzy & I went to the Dragon Boat Festival on Treasure Island to see our good buddy Bubbles compete for the first time here in her home town (she did Vancouver a few months ago). After the series of races, her team finished in 3^rd so that was pretty impressive, she got a medal & everything!!! The festival itself was also very nice… a few booths for selling things, the usual carnival style food offerings with an Asian emphasis, some fairly traditional ceremonies… but yeah, here are some pictures…

 

This was in the kid's area...

BEHOLD! Your tax dollars at work!!!

After the festival, we ran some errands, ate some Nation’s with her mom & Uncle Ed, then went back to my place to start batch number two of our Homebrewing Adventure – Smashin’ Pumpkin Ale!!! Here are some pictures of that…

 

We start by taking the Red Ale from Chapter 1

and siphoning it into a 2nd fermentor...

Then we clean out all this stuff from the first

carboy for the next batch...

Pumpkin Ale - Sh*t smelled like pumpkin pie...

Now they ferment for about two weeks side by side...

or until Chapter 3 if you prefer that terminology

A little something to hold you over...

Maple Bacon kettle chips

Anchor Steam's Autumn Maple Red

Afterwards, we went upstairs & watched a few documentaries. First up was “Chasing Ice” about a man who has been photographing & documenting the scary decline of glaciers in the Arctic circle from Alaska to Iceland & Greenland. Basically he tracked it by going to some of the most remote & dangerous climates in the world… set up some cameras to take pictures every hour of daylight… and then when you set it to the usual 24 frames per second you basically see these glaciers just break off & disappear. Over the course of like six months, it basically looks like a river of ice just flowing out to the ocean. The photography & cinematography were absolutely breathtaking for this movie & I recommend it just for that… but the point of the documentary is to show that… basically global warming IS a concern & the glaciers are basically evaporating before our very eyes.

 

 

Next up was “Beer Wars” which of course struck us personally. The documentary was made by a former CEO of Mike’s Hard Lemonade (Anat Baron) who basically showed the back-story of the cutthroat world of the nearly $100 billion industry of American beer. Obviously the direction of the movie is a little biased, but the main theme is that there are the BIG BOYS of Anheuser Busch (about half the market share) and the new Miller-Coors-InBev conglomerate (over 40%) and then all of the other little guys (including Samuel Adams, Blue Moon, Sierra Nevada & all the other microbrews and “supermicrobrews” COMBINED) make up the remainder (about 4-6%). Of course, because they’re the big boys, they increase profits by cutting down on the quality of beer, increasing advertising to compensate & muscling out the little guys making the quality stuff by having a major lobby in congress & using still illegal tactics of cutting out the wholesaler distribution options whenever possible… so basically it’s just another big business in America! It’s a very interesting story complete with interviews with some of the CEO’s & owners of other small guys like Jim Koch with Samuel Adams, Sam Calagione of Dogfish Head, Kim Jordan of New Belgium & others. Basically what I pulled from it is that if I’m looking to get into the industry, I have to focus on my product & keep my expectations realistic… because it’d be like opening up a Ma & Pa shop next to a Walmart… with even more government regulations & restrictions. I’d recommend it for anybody interested in the subject of Beer & seeing how it gets from the brewery to your fridge.

 

Oh & we've won the past few softball games. My batting stats for the year thus far as the designated hitter & right fielder are: 2-4 with a double... and I believe eight walks now. That's an on-base percentage above 80% & I can definitely deal with that. If they don't want to pitch it to me, that's their choice. We're hitting a good stride and have one more game before the playoffs I think.

 

Sunday was mostly football & cleaning up around the apartment… but yeah, pretty fantastic weekend overall. How was yours? Please leave a comment & let me know. I’m not sure who all actually reads this stuff anymore so it’d be nice to know who’s interested in this jibber jabber. Have a great day everybody!!!

Don't Let Go

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

It’s been a very busy few days… but I’ll catch you up briefly. First & foremost, Dizzy & my first batch of homebrew is going along splendidly thus far through it’s first fermentation process… and it seems to have so much SCIENCE going on the first few days… that we may be able to move to 2^nd fermentation this weekend (to give it that crisp, clear, clean appearance). Obviously we’ll keep you posted… since we’re both pretty excited about it.

 

My newest roommate Red Sox has just been a beast going through & getting the apartment cleaned up and ready to go in her first few weeks with us. She’s already arranged for a decently priced cleaning lady, we’ve gone through the living room & kitchen to clean up as best we can in preparation for her, and we’ve been establishing some ground rules for picking up after ourselves with the other roommates… and I already like it because she’s very proactive & doesn’t really hold back, whereas I’m a little more chill & “don’t want to step on anybody’s toes” but I’m quickly getting over that. I like this way better. Sh*t gets done! So yeah… it’s nice having a clean apartment & not have to passive-aggressively tell somebody to pick up their shoe collection that has gathered in the living room. Yay!

 

Both my niece & nephew are in school now, Vinny’s in kindergarten & Kairi’s in the 1^st grade (so actual full 7-hour days now) and they both seem to be loving it… and even my brother seems to enjoy it when I chat with him. Of course he’s still telling me that I need to get a PS4 & all the newest games on the PS3 so that we can blow up cops & rob banks or whatever… but yeah, he seems to be doing okay. Now if he could just get a job & stop living off my mom that’d be REALLY awesome.

 

My dad is needing his knee replaced… finally. The mixture of a life full of strenuous physical activity, above average height & age has finally caught up with him… and all the cartilage & tendons in his knee have been pretty shot for a while… but the doctor basically said there was no more that he could do… so he should be getting one of his knees replaced soon… and I assume the other isn’t too far behind. I’ll admit… it really sucks to see my dad (and other men that I respect in my life that are older than me, like uncles, Wingman, etc) who have their bodies starting to fail them… and it’s a kinda grim reminder that we’re all mortal (believe it or not) but you just have to appreciate the things that you have now & enjoy them while they last. Don’t worry, not going to get all sentimental & that jazz… but yeah, hopefully it all works out for them… and can’t wait to seem my dad or the others again as soon as possible, preferably by Christmas.

 

On Netflix, I stumbled upon this documentary called “Klitschko” about the heavyweight champion boxing brothers Vitali & Wladamir Klitschko from the Ukraine. Now, I didn’t really get into boxing until after Mike Tyson had lost his f**king mind, Evander Holyfield & George Foreman were well past their prime… and basically Lennox Lewis & Nasim Hamed were the key figures with this guy Roy Jones who was coming up… so not the greatest time ever. However, I watched this guy named Vitali Klitschko a few times on HBO… and it blew me away. It seemed so effortless for him… it was like watching Ivan Drago from Rocky IV but just with pure precision in his jab, very patient & kept his head away from his opponent (didn’t hurt he was a fellow Eastern European giant), almost instinctual dodging of … and then once he got his wore his opponent into a haze, he would just destroy them with jab/hook combos & they’d fall down. Then there was the Lewis-Klitschko fight where it was a bloody mess (and Lewis definitely helped by dragging his laces on an open brew wound) but yeah, always respected him as a fighter. Then his younger brother Wladamir came to be a champion as well as Vitali was succumbing to age.

 

This documentary basically follows them from growing up in the Ukraine (apparently near Chernobyl) behind the Iron Curtain of communism… and then being introduced to Western life via kickboxing tournaments in Miami & the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta… and then how they went into the pros & enjoyed the highest highs and lowest lows… all backed by a strong family bond. It’s really an incredible story & I highly recommend that you check it out. Warning: There will be a lot of subtitle reading because they speak a lot of German. Yes, German. Not Russian. I thoroughly enjoyed this movie.

 

However, I think my favorite movie so far this year was one I watched last night called “Gravity” starring Sandra Bullock & George Clooney, directed & written by Alfonso Cuaron (“Children of Men”). I’m sure that you’ve all seen the previews for the premise… and I’ve been anticipating this movie since I first heard of the premise a while back. Basically, a team of astronauts is aboard a space station when a satellite thousands of miles away is destroyed… but the resulting orbiting debris heads their way like giant bullets and destroys their space station… and now they’re essentially marooned in space & have to find their way back. The tone of this movie was amazing is just establishing the atmosphere of the isolation, physical discomfort, your senses being shot, and just constant dangers in every aspect of being in the cold vacuum of space. I don’t want to spoil anything but the effects, sound, everything seemed almost perfect to keep the theme alive, keep the audience entertained & enthralled. The only part I thought was odd was one part where Sandra’s character says the thing she likes best about space was the silence… and that basically cued a musical score, which I thought was odd… but hey, it still worked. Oh… and I’m pretty sure that Sandra Bullock will be nominated & probably win her SECOND Academy Award. It still feels weird to say that for Ms. Wildcat from “Speed” but… yeah, great movie. Go see it… in 3D if you can. It’s amazing… and only like 80 minutes too. Other than that, not much else going on… so here’s some news about the Apocalypse…

 

Apocalypse Solution? - Florida officials trying to eradicate the Giant African Land Snail, one of the world's most destructive invasive species, plan to deploy a new weapon in the battle - Labrador retrievers. State agriculture authorities say they hope the dogs will add to their success in fighting an infestation of the slimy snails, which were first spotted by a homeowner nearly two years ago and quickly swept through the Miami area. On Wednesday, officials said that since the start of an aggressive extermination campaign they have collected 128,000 of the snails, which can grow as big as rats and devour plants as well as stucco and plaster in a hunt for calcium they need to grow their big shells (which can probably also be sold to finance other projects). In large numbers, the snails can cause extensive structural damage to buildings. "We see a lot of strange things in Florida and this one makes the top of the list," said Florida Agriculture Commissioner Adam Putnam. "It is a very serious pest." Putnam said $6 million has been spent so far to eradicate the munching mollusks, which may have been introduced to Florida by a Miami Santeria group, a religion with West African and Caribbean roots that was found in 2012 to be using the snails in its rituals. That’s right… they’re blaming Africa… get used to the idea. The snails can carry a parasitic rat lungworm that can cause illness in humans, including a form of meningitis, although no such cases have been identified in the United States… but it COULD happen, therefore panic. To stamp out the snails, a team of 45 people regularly fans out across Miami, sometimes using rakes and getting down on their hands and knees to hunt for them. The snail fighters are also using bait, chemical treatments and experimental traps to root out the mollusks, helped by phone calls from local residents who report sightings. Joining them soon will be canine detectors, including a Labrador retriever being trained to sniff out the snails. "They're very good at detecting the Giant African Land Snail," said Richard Gaskalla, the head of plant industry at the Florida Agriculture Department. "So we're building four-legged technology into this program as quickly as we can." The Giant African Land Snail has no natural predator (salt?), posing a challenge to eradication efforts. But it can give off a strong odor that dogs can be trained to detect. Officials showed off a black Lab named Bear who is expected to soon wrap up his three-month training and start accompanying the snail hunters. Two other Labradors are also expected to be trained, they said. Officials say they believe they have contained the snails to the Miami area. Gaskalla said the program was showing success, with a sharp drop in numbers found. "The number of detections this last year were in the thousands; now they are down to around 200 to 300 a week," he said. So why haven’t they started doing this earlier? And for the snake species that threaten our very existence? Perhaps the dogs aren’t strong enough or can’t traverse the swamps? Perhaps they don’t have the amount of large mutts able to take on this load? Perhaps they’re afraid that their new army of trained canine assassins could turn on their masters? In either case, at least they can use them to hunt down giant snails.

 

Saturday, Dizzy & I will be probably doing beer stuff… then going to see Bubbles race with her dragon boat team at Treasure Island… and then probably more beer stuff (cleaning & preparing bottles for our first batch of wholesome goodness). So yeah… should be a good little time… and the weather’s supposed to be gorgeous as usual out here. Have a great weekend everybody!!!

Homebrewing Empire - Epilogue & Chapter 1

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Welcome... to the first chapter in the great adventure of Homebrewing. In looking into the whole homebrewing thing over the past few weeks/months, I've found that a LOT of people have bought the kits... The Wingman, Dizzy's Aunts, former roommates, their friends, coworkers, etc. but out of the, let's say, a dozen people... only one or two have actually taken out the kit & tried to use it once... and maybe a quarter of those have used it more than three times... and apparently it seems that just about anybody who makes it to a dozen batches either works for a homebrewing kit company or has a microbrew in the hipster part of a town near you. Well... ladies & gentlemen... Dizzy & I have officially started... and here are the results from Day One!!!

First off though, I'd like to give you a brief history of Beer. No... not the whole "How Beer Saved The World" thing from the History Channel where cavemen accidentally discovered it by leaving their food in the rain, then it led to math, writing, civilization, poetry, pyramids, medicine, time travel & teleportation or whatever... but basically... a History of Beer in the World of $teve...

My first experience with beer was at the age of three (hold off on those calls to Child Protective Services just yet, besides, I'm sure there's a statute of limitations). The weird thing is that I remember this honestly... but when I was a wee lad of three, I was watching TV with my dad, sitting on his lap or by his side... and I noticed this shiny can that he was drinking from... so I sounded it out. "C-oo-rs... Coors!" "Yup, good job..." and he took a sip with foam glistening off his moustache. "I wanna try."

Now, this is the scene on the "Brady Bunch" or a PSA where a father would've sat me on his knee & told me the dangers of alcohol on my mind, body & soul (for religious types) but... my dad was pretty smart... and he knew that I was pretty smart, even at three... and I would've turned his argument against him as I had seen done in the past (it was his own damn fault being around during the day to raise his child to teach him valuable traits like that). So what did he do? He gave me a little bit of a look, checked the kitchen to make sure that my mom wasn't nearby while she was running some water, "Sure, have a sip." WHAT? REALLY? AWESOME!!! Shiny can of daddy's juice... so I took a sip, let it settle on my tongue for a moment... and then did a total spit take-half purge of that golden ale from Golden, Colorado all over my father's face & t-shirt. Had he been wearing his Aviator sunglasses, it probably wouldn't have been that bad. "UGH!!! YUCKY!!!" What was the result? I honestly didn't touch a beer for the next 15 years. No need to thank me on the parenting tip... just pay it forward.


My next experience with beer came when I was 18 years old (again, I think there's a statute of limitations where if you didn't catch me back when I was doing it, you can't do it now). All through high school, I didn't touch the stuff... or any booze for that matter. Oddly enough, I was also an honor student, amazing athlete & a virgin working for minimum wage just to get enough gas money to drive to school. Now though, I was going to college... and I had to build up a bit of immunity to alcohol so that I could get chicks drunk & trick them into having sex with me. Let's face it, the sweet, talented, intelligent, ginormous guy with an above average crank angle wasn't working... and my balls were cobalt by this time.

My friends drank profusely... they had older brothers who provided... and let's face it, getting booze as a teenager is pretty easy, especially in cow country Utah. Nowadays it may be dominated by meth... but back then it was a different kind of hell... Natural Light, Old Milwaukee, Keystone, MGD and if you wanted to splurge that extra buck, Pabst Blue Ribbon. I couldn't stand that sh*t when I finally gave into peer pressure... and then one day, a few months later, I essentially drank a bottle of tequila, a half bottle of Apple Pucker and chased it with a pack of Budweiser... and apparently this all happened in a little over an hour's time. This is what my friends tell me as... I was obviously an inexperienced drinker... and apparently they were horrible friends when it came to things like "You probably shouldn't drink shot of tequila out of a highball glass" and little tips like that. I damn near died of alcohol poisoning, it was labor day weekend, four days of trying to not die... and then I tried out for walk-ons at the University of Utah. "Whew... who smells like f**king tequila?" That was me... best part was... I was on the practice squad. Imagine if I had actually eaten a meal the four days leading up to it. Anyway, Jose Cuervo was not my friend after that day... nor anything that reminded me of him.

Basically after that, I took a break from drinking... and then there was a slow progression back into the good graces with alcohol. I traveled the world, many trips to Vegas, learned more about the process, found out about things beyond the world of Utah where drinking is a sin, even if it's only watered-down carbonated piss that they allowed into the state before the 2002 Winter Olympics. Then for the past few years, after living in places like Denver (microbrews EVERYWHERE), Truckee (only thing to do is drink... and Fifty Fifty Brewery was a stone's throw away) and here in San Francisco (international city & Wine Country adjacent) I've learned quite a bit... and it's intrigued me to no end. So now... I thought I'd try taking some of the things into my own hands... and see what I can do with it. So there you go... the backstory... the epilogue if you will... and now...

Chapter One - Irish Red Ale (September 7th, 2013)

I purchase a deluxe starter kit from Northern Brewing & a few books about Homebrewing (basically the first three that pop up on Amazon) a week or so back... and they arrived. With the kit came a starter brew pack of Irish Red Ale... and as a promotion, we also got a free batch of Pumpkin Ale that will be discussed in Chapter Two I'm sure. After making sure that we had all of the parts (no funnel in this pack but they've been notified & we're resourceful) and watched the instructional DVD... and I'm about five chapters into one of the books already... we started by cooking up the wort...

Wooden spoon in one hand...

Thermometer in the other...

there'd better be a lot of booze involved...

Smellovision: It smelled like brownies...

Adding some hops to our grain & barley mash...

Professionals use electrical tape...

and fine furniture crafted in Thailand

Dizzy's angelic glow is purely natural...

We then cool the near-boiling wort as quickly as possible...

Since thinking about baseball doesn't work...

We used a sink full of ice

Damn!!! That's a fine looking beer...

After it's cooled to the proper temperature,

we siphon it into the first fermenter...

Then... you shake the jugs to aerate the wort...

Attention Gentlemen:

This is an alternative method if you don't have jugs...

Then, you add the yeast to the thoroughly aerated mixture...

and then you let it sit in a cool, dark place...

and it damn sure doesn't get cooler nor darker...

than in my entertainment room next to my DVDs

In about two weeks, we'll have another update on this adventure... but for now, SCIENCE!!! The yeast is transforming the sugars to produce alcohol and all the other things are being transfigured so that their flavors come out. That's obviously a REALLY simple explanation... but the results are what count.

The fermentation process will take about two weeks... then for this batch, we do a second fermentation for another two weeks or so... and then we can bottle the brew... and it'll be another two weeks while it finalized. That's right, six weeks for a batch of roughly five gallons... or about four dozen 12-ounce bottles worth of Irish Red Ale. Perhaps that's why most people think it's a good idea & don't even really start with homebrewing? Don't worry though, once one stage of the process is down, we'll have the next batch taking it's place... so eventually it'll really be more like 2-3 weeks between batches... so not only will I be thoroughly satiated with booze that I could drink... but friends & family, and even spectators of football at my home... and perhaps an eventual Bacon Day.

Details will be forthcoming once the roommate situation is stabilized & I make sure that I'm not poisoning anybody (especially myself) with skunky beer... but yeah, look forward to it. Oh... and by the way, FOOTBALL!!! See you next time here on Homebrewing Empire!!!