Sunday, August 19, 2012

Kung Fu Treachery

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Seen a few movies the past few weeks that I haven't really told you about... so here you go...

First up is "21 Jump Street" starring Jonah Hill & Channing Tatum... or is it Tatum Channing? The ex-gigolo guy from that Step Up movie who now is in everything... you know the guy. Anyway, it's the updated retelling of the classic TV series that formerly starred the likes of Johnny Depp & Richard Greico. This time though... they at least realize the pretty unrealistic plot line of fresh cops from the beat being used to infultrate a drug ring by posing as high school students... and it's a hilarious little comedy with special guest appearances by the likes of Ice Cube as a police chief (wasn't he with NWA once?), Nick Offerman (aka Ron Swanson), Rob Riggle, Chris Parnell and James Franco's little brother... we'll just call him Frankie Franco... he looks exactly like Freak & Geeks Franco. If you're looking for a laugh, I highly recommend it.

However, if you're REALLY looking for a laugh... and can stand a little reading of subtitles (or speak Spanish), then I recommend Will Ferrell's latest on DVD entitled "Casa de mi Padre" which is a take on the wonderful Telemundo dramas that we all watch & enjoy the reactions, acting & tig o' bitties. Will Ferrell is his usual funny self even though everybody's playing it straight with the jokes just kind of coming out of the cheesy production values, plot holes, lines of dialogue, etc. Ron Swanson, er Nick Offerman also comes in for a few scenes & is hilarious as... what I can only assume is himself playing a DEA agent who speaks Spanish with an American accent... but a fine moustache. Anyway, check it out. Oh the story? Oh a Spanish farmer (Ferrell) is pulled into his family's drama when his brother... you know what, just watch it. You should've zoned out on the plot as soon as you read "Spanish farmer (Ferrell)" and disregarded the plot.

Next up is one the new straight to DVD animated reboots from DC Comics... and this one was for "Wonder Woman" starring the voice talents of Keri Russell, Alfred Molina & the incomparable Nathan Fillion. The plot is about the origins of Wonder Woman aka Diana of the Amazons and her whole backstory. Basically the plot involves ancient Greece & the Gods fighting and in a big battle, the God of War Aries (Molina) is about to be killed by Diana's mother (voiced by Virginia Madsen) when Zeus steps in, puts Aries in prison on a outopian paradise island, along with all the Amazons (dear diary... JACKPOT!!!) and they're there for about 2000+ years. Well, after two millenia of sexual frustration, one of the amazons crack & help to free the only penis she's ever seen... even if it's the God of War... and he devises a plan to get his powers back. Oh... and where does Diana come in? She wins a tournament to go out & get Aries back before the end of the world... with the help of a pilot named Steve (Fillion) who crashed on the island to help with getting around NYC. Oh yeah... and it's actually pretty well done. I enjoyed the movie thoroughly... from the Fillion wisecracks to the story & everything. I recommend it since it may be another 20 years or so before you see a live-action Wonder Woman movie... which in my opinion is pretty ridiculous... but again, my opinion. Come on, DC! How many reboots of Superman can you do before you just move on?

The gem of the past few weeks reviews though, is "Expendables 2" starring... well, every action star over the past 30 years I guess. Okay, maybe not quite... but did you see the first one? They're all back... minus Mickey Rourke (who really only had 3 scenes anyway) and there's more from Bruce Willis & Arnie... and then you throw in Liam Hemsworth (Thor's little brother), THE Chuck Norris & Jean Claude Van Damme (spoiler alert: in one scene, he has bat wings under her arms when he's trying to look bad ass... and it's very off-putting). Anyway, you don't really need to know the plot... it's a bunch of guys kicking ass & blowing sh*t up. That's why you watch it. It's not going to win awards. There's explosions, one-liners, grunts, horrible dialogue, plot holes, and all of the other stuff that you expect... but that being said, I can't wait to see it again... and fun fact: If there was a REAL Expendables 2 video game out there with all the different modes of blowing up that were in the movie (helicopter, planes, ground, caves, smart cars, tanks, etc) then I would probably purchase it. However, the one that I noticed on the PS Store is basically the equivalent of Battle Axe with guns. Not too awesome. Anyway, the movie is pretty amazing... especially if you're a fan of the first one. I saw watch it.

Other than that, work was been the usual... but I'm getting more recognition for the hard work I put in, so that's cool. Football is offically returing and I can't wait for the upcoming Lions - Raiders preseason game that Dizzy & I will be attending on Saturday. Saw the Raiders playing the other day & they didn't seem to be in unison... but it's preseason. Hopefully they'll get it together soon. Also excited about college football coming back & of course the full professional slate. Dizzy is already aware that my weekends can often revolve around football... so she may want to work more on those dates unless she's interested in watching... but of course, she's eager to learn the game... and we may do a live blog someday so that you can hear & see & smell & feel all the craziness that goes on in my apartment on a game day when we have people over.

You know... Bacon day will be on opening weekend of college football if I'm not mistaken... so you may get a taste... but then again, we may also be focused on delicious salted meats & general awesomeness... with video games & drunkenness in the evenings. YAY BACONIA!!! Also, getting REALLY excited about the vacation in Utah coming up in 2.5 weeks. Everybody in Utah is excited to meet Dizzy & I'm excited to see everybody there... and there will probably be stops at the Dinosaur Park, Dinosaur Museum, the Family Reunion... and now... apparently the Utah State Fair will be going on mere blocks from my dad's house. So yeah... the cup runeth over with activities for that trip. I'll be sure to keep you posted. Have a great weekend everybody!!!

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