The Eclectic Eccentric 2: The Kwyjibo Chronicles: Scarlett's Body

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Whew… well, it’s been a few weeks since you’ve heard from me… and trust me, I’ve just been hellaciously busy… or drunk… but mostly the former. New Orleans was, of course, EPIC!!! Big shout out to Filly for hosting me during my adventure. One big issue though during this trip… I left my camera at home (probably a side-effect of waking up at 4 AM) but Filly was kind enough to lend me hers… and I had a cell phone… so though this entry won’t have all the pictures, one in the near future will. The copies are on the way. I just figured that I would fill you in on the events while they were still fresh in my mind… and then fill you in with the pictures… but that didn’t make much sense… so I’m just gonna give you some news. Sound like a plan? Alright…

Jolie Update – Since I just came back from New Orleans, just thought I should fill you in on some of their residents, Mr. & Mrs. Angelina Jolie. Oh yeah, they apparently have a place down there… which is awesome. Oh… and no, I didn’t meet up with them down there like I did in Vegas, though they could’ve probably used my help watching all the kids when they were trick-or-treating. Anyway, James Cameron (director of “Aliens”, “T2: Judgment Day”, “True Lies” and some crap that made billions) has confirmed he is in talks to direct a 3D film about Cleopatra for Sony Pictures according to The New York Times. "I’ve been talking to them about it, but no decisions have been made" said the "Avatar" director who also admits the subject matter always fascinated him. Of course, Angelina Jolie is attached to star in the project and Cameron is excited about the possibility - "It sounds hot, doesn’t it? I mean, Angelina Jolie and Cleopatra? To me, that’s like a slam dunk. Whether I wind up doing it or not, I think it’s going to be a great project." Keep your fingers crossed that Cameron gets it instead of Oliver Stone. You all remember “Alexander” right? What? You never saw it? Consider yourself lucky… and I’m a Stone fan. Oh… and of course there’s the obvious rumor of Brad Pitt (her balls & chain) playing Marc Anthony (not married to J-Lo) but yeah… all speculation at this point.

So what IS Brad doing? - Well, apparently he has backed out of saving the human race from zombies in “World War Z” to be a drug dealer. Plan B has acquired film rights to James Keene's "In With the Devil" which Brad Pitt is considering starring in reports The Chicago Sun Times. The project is the true story of Keene, a handsome football player turned big-time drug dealer and sentenced for ten years. The FBI offered him a quick release, in exchange however he had to go undercover as a patient in a sanatorium (fond thoughts of Brad in “Twelve Monkeys”) where he had to befriend a serial killer and get him to admit to his crimes. An Oscar-winning screenwriter is penning the script, but the paper doesn't reveal which one (Diablo Cody?). Sounds like an interesting movie to me. I’d watch it. Anyway, now that you’re caught up…

Total Re-Recall – Speaking of “Alexander”, Colin Farrell has emerged as the top contender for the lead role in the remake of the 1990 sci-fi action classic formerly starring the Governator himself "Total Recall" at Sony Pictures reports Heat Vision. Based on Philip K Dick’s short story "We Can Remember It for You Wholesale", the new version will be re-conceived as a contemporary take on the story (of colonizing Mars? Or just the whole fabricated memories thing… because that sounds a lot like “Dollhouse”). Farrell sits just ahead of actors Michael Fassbender (“Inglorious Basterds”) and Tom Hardy who're also considered top candidates, but no offers are officially out at present. Len Wiseman ("Underworld," "Live Free or Die Hard") will direct from a script by Kurt Wimmer. Neal H Moritz will produce and filming is aiming to begin around March. Sigh… so apparently it’s going to be a remake of a horrible sci-fi classic (one of those great bad movies) but… without Mars… and mutants… and aliens? There had better at least be a chick with three boobs. “You know one of those was paper mache, right?” Yes… and all I have to say is… start the reactor.

Scarlett’s Body – Speaking of sexy aliens, Scarlett Johansson (“The Prestige” & “Iron Man 2”) will star as an alien in the sci-fi feature "Under the Skin" for FilmNation according to Heat Vision Blog. Based on a novel by Michael Faber, Johansson plays an alien disguised as an aesthetically perfect woman who scours remote highways using her voracious sexuality to snare human prey (yeah, like “Jennifer’s Body” but with aliens, now you get the title). However, she soon begins to develop feelings of humanity which soon puts her in the firing line with her own people. Think "Species" meets "My Stepmother is an Alien". Jonathan Glazer (the horribly named "Sexy Beast") directs from a script he co-wrote with Walter Campbell. Nick Wechsler and James Wilson will produce, and shooting kicks off in the Spring. That’s right gentlemen… this one’s for you. Oh… and my early prediction – Sir Ben Kingsley will play the alien leader. Why? Because like any other movie decision he’s made over the past 25 years, he apparently needs the money. Besides, he has history with the director. Just a guess. Mmm… aesthetically perfect woman…