Guilty Pleasures

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Some opportunities have come up recently that may lead to some big changes… but I’ve been entirely too busy the past few weeks to even post pictures from New Orleans (remember? Halloween?) so for huge life decisions, I haven’t had a chance to do the usual process yet. Stay tuned though… and in the meantime… here’s some quick news…

Guilty Pleasure Movies – I caught this article on Yahoo! News the other day… and I swear it caught me watching one of these Top 5 Guilty Pleasure movies. Basically, there’s a new movie “Burlesque” out with Christina Aguilera & Cher starring as… well, burlesque dancers… and you know I’m a fan of that stuff (as long as I don’t think of a seventy-something like Cher) but it brought upon this list… by the way, this is THEIR list…

1. “Showgirls” (1995) – This was the one that I think they were spying on me. Yes, I admit it… last Monday night, I was flipping through the channels on Starz… and found this gem. It’s the story of Nomi Malone, a girl that wants to be a star in the Vegas limelight (instead of hooking) so she gets involved with the burlesque game… and apparently it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Everybody knows that the greatest line in the whole movie is when she pronounces Versace (Ver-sa-chi) as Ver-sayce. You can’t beat that… but then again, if that’s the highlight of your movie besides the catfights, lesbian makeout scenes, pyrotechnic nudity & overall drama… then you may not be a fan of this movie. Instead of rubbernecking on the freeway when I see a car accident, I watch movies like this. Don’t judge me.
2. “Xanadu” (1980) – Never seen it… heard it was Olivia Newton-John on rollerskates…
3. “Grease 2” (1982) – All I remember is that Michelle Pfeiffer’s in it… and some guy on a bike… we all make mistakes.
4. “Point Break” (1992) – Quite possibly the perfect bad movie… Academy Award winning director (Kathryn Bigelow of “Hurt Locker” aka Mrs. James Cameron), Keanu in his prime (well… did he really have one?), Patrick Swayze, surfing, character names like Johnny Utah, special cameos by Flea & Anthony of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, bank robberies by Presidential banditos, “I AM AN F-B-I AGENT!!!”, skydiving, for f**k’s sake it even has Gary Busey!!! It shames me to think of how many times I’ve seen this movie. Absolutely shames me to the core… and yet, I’d still watch it again.
5. “Mommie Dearest” (1981) – No idea what this is…
   
   

So with that in mind… I give you MY Top 5 Guilty Pleasure Movies…

1. “Starship Troopers” (1997) – Even better than “Showgirls”, “Robocop”, “Total Recall” and all the other guilty pleasures to come from director Paul Verhoeven, I have to put “Starship Troopers” at the top of the list. If you haven’t seen it, then you just can’t understand. Now, the two sequels are pretty much crap… but it has giant alien insects conquering the universe with spaceship transports, bugs that fire thermonuclear projectiles, sucking the brains out of their victims, and of course… we have the technology to travel willy-nilly through space… but not take care of infestations. Aside from that, I love the PSA’s and news updates that pop up from time to time… and Denise Richards & Dina Meyer in their prime… and for f**k’s sake it even has Doogie… and Michael Ironsides… and Gary Busey… well, his son Jake anyway. I wonder what Casper Van Diem has been up to since then… but probably f**king half of Hollywood. Favorite line – “The only good bug is a dead bug” or “Would you like to know more?”
2. “Pootie Tang” (2001) – You know that I love superheroes… and being from the ghetto, of course I’m going to love ghetto superheroes who are irresistible to the ladies and can also sing & dance… in their own language. Not too many people enjoyed this movie from director Chris Rock… but hey, that’s their problem. Also, little known fact, I own the DVD not because I’m a huge fan… but because purchasing the DVD was actually cheaper than renting it at Blockbuster. Yes, it was in a $2 bin. Sold!!! Favorite line – “(his silent song that everybody jams out too)” “POOTIE DONE DID IT AGAIN!!!”
3. “Tank Girl” (1995) – Absolutely one of the worst movies ever made. Period. You cannot deny it. However, I blame my brother for exposing me to this one. He was a huge fun (I think he had a crush on the titular actress Lori Petty whereas I’m a Naomi Watts fan myself) so we watched it a few times… and there’s plenty of dirtiness & explosions for an impressionable young mind… and kangaroo / human hybrids voiced by Ice-T… and Malcolm McDowell as a baddie… there’s even a musical number of “Let’s Do It”… so yeah, you look past all that craziness. It was based on a comic book, right? Never seen it? You may want to check it out… but be warned. Favorite line – “Quit pickin’ on my girlfriend!” Tank Girl kisses Jet Girl (Watts) and the guys hassling her walk away. “Thanks, I think it worked.” “What worked?” So have to try that once…
4. “Revenge of the Nerds” (1985) – Hey, if Sir James Cromwell stars in the movie, it can’t be that bad, right? Well, he’s in the movie for about three minutes while the credits roll (as Jamie Cromwell, pre-Sir years) and after that it’s just a college comedy with the likes of John Goodman, Ted McGinley (“Married with Children”), Curtis Armstrong & Anthony Edwards (GOOSE!!!). This was one of the few movies that I had growing up… so I could probably quote the whole damn thing to you… but I won’t unless I’m in person. Favorite line - “All jocks ever think about is sports… all nerds ever think about is sex.”
5. “Mannequin” (1987) – I blame the catchy song… and the fact that Kim Cattrall was gorgeous… and that Captain Harris from the “Police Academy” movies (another guilty pleasure) was in it… and to a lesser extent, HollyWOOOOOD!!! Yes, the story of a princess cursed to be a mannequin and only comes to life when nobody else is around for a lowly department store window decorator (Andrew McCartney) just seems to be one of my favorite guilty pleasures. Favorite line – “Armand… is the wind!”
6. “Dirty Dancing” (1987) – If somebody would watch this movie with me… I’m sure it’d make the list. I already love the soundtrack and all the parts that I have seen (parodied) over the years but… I can’t officially put it on the list until I have seen it, right? That’s why it’s number six on this list of five. Maybe I’m seeing the whole Patrick Swayze in his thirties, pre-18 Jennifer Grey relationship in an out-of-context manner… but the whole thing seems weird to me. And you know I like the dirty dancing. By the way, was anybody else NOT surprised that the star of a movie with “Dancing” in the title won “Dancing with the Stars”? If you are surprised, you chose to be. Favorite line – “Nobody puts Baby in the corner!” Face it, it’s everybody’s favorite line… ever.
   
   

So there you go… and now for some guilty pleasure movie updates…

Bad Santa 2? – I also watched this holiday classic on Spike the other day (totally butchered… but the spirit is there) and then stumbled on this news clip. Out doing promotion for "Faster", Billy Bob Thornton revealed to Collider that he'd be up for doing a sequel to his 2003 pitch black comedy "Bad Santa". "Bad Santa's become like a classic Christmas movie. People watch It's a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street and Bad Santa. Now its sort of the box set. And there's been talk of making a sequel to it, which I actually would like to do. I've never done a sequel to one of my movies, but that one makes sense to me to do it" says Thornton. Thornton adds that a lot will depend on the director having the balls to keep the film dark and edgy - "Probably get a director who's got the juice to, with whoever makes it, you know, who puts up the money, to get it in blood. That's the way you have to do it, and hopefully it'll work." Hopefully director Terry Zwigoff can help out with “Bad Santa Resurrection” and yes, that will be the working title… in my world. Sigh… RIP Bernie Mac & John Ritter. A tear came to my eye when I saw you guys on TV the other day.

Anyway, that’ll do it for today. Like I said, a lot of things to go over so free time is at a minimum… plus I’ve had a bit of a cold the past day or so… and I don’t want it anymore, so I’m going to go to bed early. Lame, I know… but hey, it’s not like my roommate is going to mother me back to health. Have a great night everybody!!!