Friday, October 8, 2010

Enter the Tigeress

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

The weekend is upon us… and so you probably won’t hear from me for a couple of days with my dad visiting and football to be had… but I’ll have pictures when I return… so please, dry your eyes. Some really tragic stuff going on in the news like that spill of red toxic byproducts from an aluminum plant in Hungary that threatens to endanger everybody along the Danube with poisoned drinking water, a passage of power in North Korea (hopefully to somebody less crazy & sexually ambiguous) but you know I tend to stay away from that stuff… so here’s my news…

Flooding in India – Give it a second… and it won’t be nearly as heartbreaking as Hungary. For those who don’t know, the Commonwealth Games are kind of like… the Olympics of the British Empire. Well, they were held in India this year… and it led to a few problems for the host city. Thousands of flushed condoms threaten to choke the Commonwealth Games village's drainage system, media reports said, in the latest problem to hit the venue from hidden snakes (Apocalypse!!!) to outbreaks of dengue. Games organizers, who won a race against time to ready the village, are now battling to clear clogged drains after thousands of non-biodegradeable contraceptives were flushed down toilets in the first week of the event. "If that is happening, it shows that there is use of condoms and I think that is a very positive story. Athletes are being responsible," Commonwealth Games Federation President Mike Fennell told a news conference Thursday. "We all know that encouraging safe sex is a very important thing to do." Games organizers had provided 8,000 free condoms in the village, and the provision appears to be in high demand. One official told the Mail Today newspaper Thursday that over 4,000 had already been snapped up by eager athletes. Shoddy construction work, fears over an outbreak of dengue fever and worries about security had meant many teams delayed their move into the village before the Games began. However, blame for the latest problem lies firmly with the athletes. Following a decision to provide free condoms at the 1992 Olympics in Barcelona, it has become something of a tradition. At the Sydney Olympic Games in 2000, athletes quickly used up the 70,000 free condoms provided, forcing organizers to supply another 20,000, while at the 2004 Games in Athens, the provision was doubled to 130,000. At both the Beijing Games in 2008, and the Vancouver Winter Olympics in February, 100,000 condoms were provided for athletes. Did your high school coach try to convince you to not “release yourself” before a big game? Well, obviously it doesn’t really have an effect as long as you get plenty of sleep afterwards. An entire city in India is being crippled by condoms. Pretty funny, right? Sigh… it’s been so long…

Pepe Le Pew – Everybody knows that Pepe Le Pew is the epitomy of the smooth Casanova who just tries too hard… and thus, is one of my favorite Warner Bros. characters. I mean… the guy speaks French and is a perfect gentleman… but he’s completely unaware of any odor problems that he may have. Sound like anybody you know? Well, Warner Bros. Pictures is developing a combination live-action/CG-animated movie (like "Alvin and the Chipmunks") featuring Pepe Le Pew, the lovelorn French skunk and Looney Tunes character reports Vulture. Mike Myers (“Shrek” & “Cat in the Hat” among his kiddie flicks) will voice the overly amorous skunk who starred in over a dozen animated short films for the studio and will be the sole CG character in this aside from Penelope Pussycat (can you say that on a PG-rated movie?), the mute and reluctant object of his affection. Everything else will be live-action. The film is part of a new strategy by the studio to reinvigorate the Looney Tunes cast of characters (since Brendan Fraser destroyed the franchise like everything else he touches). I’m just playing. I like some of the Brendan Fraser movies. Hmm… maybe I’ll have to do a Movie List of him one of these days… but too many Flush Its, I think. Might back up the internet’s recycling system like condoms in a village in India. See? A few minutes ago, that would’ve made no sense (probably still doesn’t). Anyway, it could be worse. Then again, maybe Brendan Fraser will star as the live action character in this movie. We shall see.

Angelina Update – Speaking of movies that could be really enjoyable to watch… "Amores Perros" and "Babel" scribe Guillermo Arriaga revealed word on an unexpected but exciting team-up. Seems Arriaga revealed that location scouting begins in Russia next month on "The Tiger", an adaptation of John Vaillant's non-fiction tome which he has scripted and is in development at Focus Features and Random House's film divison. Set in 1997, the story follows an animal activist who must protect the small Siberian town he is in when a tiger begins attacking its inhabitants (oooh… sounds like “The Ghost & the Darkness” but with tigers in Siberia). When previously announced, Darren Aronofsky ("Requiem for a Dream", “The Fountain” & “The Wrestler”) was attached as director while Brad Pitt was slated to both star and produce. Arriaga not only confirms that… but adds that Pitt's partner Angelina Jolie will co-star in the film which will shoot sometime next year (probably as the bloodthirsty Tiger herself, that dangerous vixenous beauty). This past week Aronofsky has been linked to both the "Wolverine" sequel and as a candidate for "Tales Of The Gangster Squad" at Warners. How his scheduling works out in coming months we'll have to wait and see… but I’ll tell you what, I’m intrigued. Think of it… Mr & Mrs Smith together again… with the director of Pi… with the same story as Ghost & the Darkness… but set in a James Bond-esque location… with tigers… and there’s only one REALLY good way to keep warm in Siberia. Oh, got you excited now, didn’t I? Well, we shall see if this comes to be as well…

Also, I think that I’ve come up with the most awesomest Halloween costume EVER!!! But I don’t want to share it with any of you… because it will spoil the surprise when you see pictures of it in the Big Easy. I want to give a big shout-out to JJ for mentioning it. She truly is a ray of sunshine… and one of the few people that I KNOW reads this thing still so… BIG shout-out!!! Anyway, hanging with my dad for the next few days so… have a great weekend everybody!!! FLYYYY EAGLES FLYYYYYY!!!

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