Take Me to Bed or Lose Me Forever

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

I’d like to start off by wishing everybody a Happy Monday. I know. Mondays typically suck. But hey, the day is what you make it to be. For example, this weekend, I didn’t really have any plans… and it was even going to rain a bit… but that wasn’t going to stop me from a weekend of football and (better for you) some beautiful hikes around the Tahoe area during the fall season. Here’s a little bit of what I saw…

All the previous ones were various spots on the Truckee River...

But this was sunrise this morning from on Northstar

above the clouds...

Other than that though, not a whole lot of stuff going on… unless you count that I’ve figured out how I’m going to celebrate my 30th birthday. Well, in part. Curious? Well… the details are being ironed out… but me, my mom, my grandma (from the Europe trip a few years back), the Wingmans, Filly, and possibly DOZENS of my closest relatives are going to go on a 7-day cruise. Apparently we get a pretty good deal as a group… so for about $1000 per person including airfare, we’re going on a fabulous Caribbean cruise as a family. But wait, there’s more!!! What port are we using? Why, the Port of New Orleans, of course. Here, let me break it down stop-by-stop if you don’t mind.

New Orleans – The Crescent City, the Big Easy, yes, even though I will be there in less than ten days… I will make another trip there six months later to show my family the wonders of this magnificent city. From the French Quarter to the Garden District to the banks of the mighty Mississippi to the bayou to the plantation estates to the above-ground cemeteries to the haunted (fill in structure here) to the food and everything else in between. Obviously I dig it. That’s why this trip would be my lucky number 7th to the city. Where have I visited more? Only Vegas, baby! And even that’s not too far out of reach. Besides, many of my relatives have never experienced Bourbon Street (though I have gone with my mom & grandma before over Mother’s Day Weekend 2005) and that’s like an alcoholic’s Mecca, so that should be fun. Oh… and I’d also like to thank myself for bringing thousands of dollars of tourism money to the city of New Orleans. You’re welcome! Then we get on the boat…

Cruise Ship – Basically a floating city of its own accord, but once we get out into international waters, anything goes (I think?). Casinos, restaurants with all-you-can-eat buffets, bars and lounges of all kinds, pools, hot tubs, entertainment, THREE karaoke rooms, a basketball court, spa & beauty salon, even a foosball table or two. Not a bad place to stay while you’re waiting to land at your next destination. Sure, the rooms are glorified closets with a shower that you would expect to be used to help transport miners in Chile… but like I’ve always said, you can sleep when you’re dead… and if you’re with someone you don’t mind getting a little close & familiar with… then it’s quite alright. Oh… and did I mention that you’re surrounded by the Gulf of Mexico? Not bad, right? (Hopefully) Now for the list of stops on this ocean voyage…

Costa Maya, Mexico – An unspoiled (we’ll see) coastal paradise on the Yucatan peninsula with exotic tropical birds, butterflies, deer, monkeys, even jaguars as you roam through the pristine jungles. Also, I’ll probably be venturing to see the ancient Mayan ruins of Chacchoben… but we’ll see. I may be too hung over to speak after a day or so at sea.

Isla Roatan – Thirty miles off the coast of Honduras is this eco-tourist’s dream. Teeming with marine life and home to some of the best pillar coral in the Caribbean, the Belizean Reef is a diver’s paradise (hopefully still the case after BP). Options there are to chill at Tabyana Beach… or you can swim with the dolphins. Guess which one I might be doing. We’ll see how smart those dolphins really are…

Belize City – Long before the great poet Christopher Wallace said “I be smokin’ trees in Belize when they find me” or the 17th century powers fought over Belizean sovereignty, a complex Mayan civilization flourished in Belize City. Today, many of the ruins of Altun Ha remain in virtually untouched jungles… or you can also go snorkeling in the barrier reef… or the one that I’m probably going to do… you can go cave tubing on a rain forest journey. Yes, you heard right. Cave tubing.

Cozumel, Mexico – This island off the tip of the Yucatan peninsula is well known for fishing, snorkeling & diving… but you can also again, swim with dolphins, explore the ruins of Tulum, or visit Xcaret… which apparently is some kind of eco-friendly theme park in Cancun. Then again, this is towards the tail end of the trip so I may just need to relax and keep down solid foods. Then again, there’s another day at sea before we get back to New Orleans.

So yeah, that’s kind of what I’ll be doing a few days after my 30th birthday. Oh yes, did I forget to start off with that? This will be happening a few days AFTER the big day… and I’ll have about a week off before that… so there’s still planning to be done for a possible road trip down the Pacific Coast (San Fran, Monterey, Napa, Hollywood, Portland, Seattle, Yosemite, who knows?). Or I may just have that Amsterdam-themed party here in Tahoe before start this vacation. Long story short, I’m basically planning vacation six months in advance now… as well as random road trips. I know you’re jealous… and probably hate my guts right now… but if you’d like to be a part of this fantastic voyage, please let me know ASAP and we can get you hooked up. In the meantime, here’s some news… with a slightly nautical theme…

Battleship Update – It’s not breaking news because it happened about a month ago… but Liam Neeson (“Taken”) has joined the cast of director Peter Berg's "Battleship" for Universal Pictures reports the trades. Yes, based on the Hasbro board game, the story centers around a battle on land, sea and the sky between earth's forces and attacking aliens (Hancock?) with most of the action set on the USS John Paul Jones (who I believe played bass for Led Zeppelin). Neeson will play Admiral Shane, a navy admiral and the future father-in-law of the lead officer character (Taylor Kitsch who played Gambit on “X-Men Origins: Wolverine”). Brooklyn Decker (SI Swimsuit Edition cover 2009) stars as Shane's daughter, Alexander Skarsgard (“Thor”) as the brother of Kitsch's character, and Rihanna as a weapons analyst. Yes, pop singer Rihanna will be the supporting actress… to a Sports Illustrated model’s lead. Or maybe it’s the other way around. I’m actually kinda surprised this isn’t directed by Michael Bay but… it is about the navy, right? Brian Koppelman and David Levien is revising the previous script draft by Jon Hoeber and Erich Hoeber. Filming should start… I don’t know… soon. Sounds like a great flick, right? I still think my Ouija story would be AMAZING!!! And let’s face it, if “The Expendables” can have a huge opening weekend… you never know. Speaking of can’t miss movies…

Top Gun Sequel - Things are moving on a sequel to classic 80's blockbuster "Top Gun" reports Vulture with Paramount Pictures having sent offers out to both producer Jerry Bruckheimer and director Tony Scott. Christopher McQuarrie ("The Usual Suspects," "Valkyrie") is being pursued to pen the script and has reportedly found a way to include Tom Cruise's Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell character in a way that's "not too obvious". Cruise has reportedly agreed to take said smaller role. Bruckheimer mentioned he'd been approached about it back in July. Of course the story itself will be tricky as the U.S. Navy's elite TOPGUN program doesn't focus as much on aerial combat anymore but rather targeted bombing runs… but hey, disbelief. The original grossed $353 million at the worldwide box office… and that’s in 1980’s dollars, back when you could go to the movies for the change in your pocket. EW adds to the story, saying that Cruise won't be starring according to his reps but the McQuarrie news is accurate. So let the internet rumors begin… and my guess is that Val Kilmer will reprise his role as Iceman… who ended up getting Top Gun thanks to not only his superior flying skills but also his ability to follow orders and NOT kill his best friend Goose. Look, it’s not exactly a Kaiser Soze twist on the original… I mean, think about it. Where did that movie leave off? They shot down a few Russian MIG’s. They land on the aircraft carrier, they exchange a little male ass slapping, roll credits. “Nice job, Maverick. Forget about that court marshal. You’re alright. Let’s go play some volleyball. Oooh… yeah, sorry. You may want to find a new partner. Maybe somebody over 5-foot-two.” Seriously. Best thing about that movie… was the soundtrack with Berlin’s “Take My Breath Away” & the horrible renditions of the Righteous Brothers and “Great Balls of Fire” and of course, the timeless pickup line – “Take me to bed or lose me forever.” By the way, I’m seeing Chris Pine (“Star Trek”) as the lead in this movie… is that bad? Eh, enough talk about dudes, let’s sexy this thing up.

Fox Update – Yeah, we haven’t heard much about her since she went and got married to become the seductive superhero Green-Fox, but what can I say? I’m a sucker for updates in her life. Megan Fox has joined the cast of Jennifer Westfeldt's second feature "Friends With Kids" for Points West Pictures says The Hollywood Reporter. The story revolves around a pair of thirty-something best friends who observe the toll that having kids has taken on the couples they know and resolve to bypass that stress by having a child… and then date other people. Makes perfect sense, right? Westfeldt (“Kissing Jessica Stein”) and Adam Scott (“Step Brothers”) will play the lead couple, Kristen Wiig (“Adventureland”) and Jon Hamm (“Mad Men” & “The Town”) will play another. Fox will play a girl who Scott's character begins to date. Westfeldt, wrote the script and will produce alongside her partner Hamm. Mike Nichols and Jake Kasdan are executive producing (money). The story may sound a little out of whack but… then again, I know a LOT of people who do this same thing accidentally. It’s just the premeditated decision to have the child that’s a little twist. Anyway, I’m sure it’ll be a horrible chick flick but whatever… you know why I mentioned it… and here are the pictures…

Anyway, that’ll do it for today. Less than ten days until my New Orleans Halloween adventure. Should be a pretty good Monday Night Football game tonight… and probably some baseball. Congratulations to the Eagles!!! Keep up the good work… and have a great night everybody!!!