Wednesday, September 29, 2010

G-G-G-GHOST!!!

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Okay, so… first off, I wanted to share a little something with you. I’ve been watching a lot of “Ghost Adventures” lately because… well, I have no life, I guess. I’m not really sure why either… as I think the host Zak is pretty much an annoying douche most of the time… and most of their “evidence” is flawed at best… but occasionally there’s a nugget or two of intrigue… and it’s pretty much October and I’m getting psyched for my New Orleans adventure so maybe I can have a ghost adventure of my own. Anyway, so I was watching an episode where they went to Rolling Hills Sanitarium in upstate New York… and of course it was late at night… because that’s when you watch this stuff. When I get a call from my brother back in Utah. “Dude, have you looked at your pictures from when we went to Winchester?” “Yeah, they didn’t turn out very good. Why?” “Dude! I think you have a picture of a ghost in a few of the living room pictures. You know, that room with the wood floors where they said they found the hair & newspaper clippings of the husband & her kid?” “Really? I didn’t notice anything… but I wasn’t really looking either. Let me grab my camera real quick. By the way, completely unrelated, are you high right now?” “F**k you, man. I’m serious.” “I am too. Alright, let me check it out.” Okay… so, a little more back-story I didn’t mention in the blog posting before. My brother charged his cell phone for about 30 minutes when we first got to the House and were waiting for the tour to begin… and then once we went inside the house, it basically went dead. Now, I’m skeptical and think that his phone may just have been dead as disco… but whatever. Also, my camera wasn’t working for crap in there… and I blame it on the bad lighting… and sometimes my camera does that… but then again, I’ve taken some pretty good dimly lit pictures before… and even in the well-lit ones, they turned out bad. Humidity on the lens? Possibly. User error? Anything’s possible. Okay, so because you’re intrigued as to whether Dr. Love has a ghost sighting, here are the pictures that he thinks there was a ghost in…
Okay, give up on where he thinks the ghost is?
Right side, by the two windows, the light image
that appears to be standing in front of the chairs
Yeah... he thinks it's a ghost...
...and it's confirmed in the next picture, same spot.
No, it's not just poor lighting and glare... it's Mr. Winchester
He also thought there was something in the window here...
I don't see it.

Is my brother overreacting? Maybe. Was he under the influence of psychedelics? More than likely… but I just thought that I would share that little ditty with you… because otherwise, I don’t have a lot to say. Also, it gives me an excuse to talk about going to New Orleans in a few weeks and how excited I am for it. “But $teve, what is there to do in New Orleans? Especially during a lame ass holiday like Halloween?” Child please! For the child in me, there’s the Boo at the Zoo at the Audubon Zoo, which I have yet to experience in my many trips down there. For the child in me that likes free sh*t (and hot girls sitting on my shoulders), there’s the Krewe of Boo parade with a few dozen floats & Mardi Gras zaniness. For the football lover in me, there’s a Sunday night Steelers / Saints game at the Superdome Halloween night. For the music lover in me, there’s the Voodoo Experience which is a festival with literally HUNDREDS of bands including the likes of Ozzy Osbourne, Drake, Weezer, Macy Gray, Interpol & Raphael Saadiq. For the ghost adventurer in me, the entire city is creepy year round… but they turn it up with places like the House of Shock, costumed actors everywhere, and the Haunted (insert structure or landmark here) located throughout the city. Seriously, there’s mortuaries, cemeteries, warehouses, mansions, plantations, bars, hotels, gas stations, Starbucks, burger joints, all with their own history of supernatural shenanigans. And then for the hedonistic lush in me, there’s the unparalleled craziness of Bourbon Street, Canal Street, Decatur, Frenchman Street, and pretty much any other street within a few miles of the French Quarter. Oh… and they’re all jam packed with drunken tourists and Southern girls, which both happen to REALLY dig me. It’s going to be f**king EPIC!!! Play safe kids. Here’s the news…

Segway Tragic Comedy - The British millionaire businessman who owns the firm Segway has been found dead at the bottom of a cliff with one of the two-wheeled electric scooters near his body, police said on Monday. Jimi Heselden, 62, who bought the U.S.-based firm, and who was also chairman of Hesco Bastion, was discovered in a river near Leeds, northern England, on Sunday. The incident, described as a freak accident in the media, was not being treated as suspicious. A Segway was found near his body, a police spokeswoman said. "It is with great sadness that we have to confirm that Jimi Heselden has died in a tragic accident near his home in West Yorkshire," Hesco Bastion said in a statement. A family spokesman said speculation about the cause of his death had been deeply upsetting. "There is absolutely nothing to suggest it was anything other than a tragic accident," he said in a statement. Invented by Dean Kamen, the self-balancing Segway scooter was made famous by then U.S. President George W. Bush when he took one for a spin, only to jump off after losing control. Heselden, a former miner who left school at the age of 15, became a wealthy businessman, donating millions of pounds to charity. This month, he gave 10 million pounds ($16 million) to a community project which helps disadvantaged areas. He made his fortune with Leeds-based Hesco Bastion, which developed a flat-pack wire mesh "blast wall" container, replacing the traditional sandbags, used by British and coalition troops in Afghanistan and Iraq. Media reports said Heselden was one of Britain's richest men, with a fortune put at 166 million pounds ($260 million). So what was the tragic accident? Apparently, rumor has it… that Mr. Heselden was chatting on his cellular phone while riding around on his Segway… and the rest is gravity. It truly is tragic… but there is something to be learned. Distracted & drunk driving doesn’t care who you are, who your family is, how much you’re worth, how much good you’ve done for your community or anything like that. It’s a matter of physics. You’re still in a dangerous and basically unnecessary situation. Please be careful out there. Since we’re talking about dead people, I want to send my condolences out to Mr. Heselden’s family as well as the family of football legend George Blanda & Quentin Tarantino’s fabulous editor Sally Menke. There, now that that’s out of the way…

Utah Reality Update – My thoughts of police in Utah have been long known. It’s a noble profession… and they could seriously be doing so much better. This story just kinda emphasized the point. The new reality TV show "Sister Wives," featuring a real-life advertising salesman and four women he calls his spouses, has sparked a criminal bigamy investigation by police in Utah, officials said. The show, following the lives of Kody Brown, 41, the four women and their 16 children, premiered on the TLC cable channel on Sunday, catching the attention of authorities in the Utah town of Lehi just south of Salt Lake City, where the family lives together in a large house. "We looked into it, and we have detectives working on this case now," Lehi police Lt. Darren Paul told Reuters. No arrests have been made, but the investigation findings will be turned over to the local district attorney's office for review, he said. The Brown family released a statement on Tuesday saying they were "disappointed" but were aware of the risks of doing the reality show (much like those people you see on shows like “Intervention” who use illegal drugs in front of the cameras… and broadcast across the nation and/or world… but somehow never end up in jail). "But for the sake of our family, and most importantly, our kids, we felt it was a risk worth taking," the statement said. Brown is legally married to just one of the women, but counts three others as "sister wives," a term in polygamist sects that refers to a husband's multiple marital partners (but in legal terms, has about as much clout as a pimp calling one of his employees a b**ch, it doesn’t matter as long as what they’re doing is legal… and technically, they’re roommates that f**k). Plural marriage, an early tenant of the Mormon faith and once common in Utah, was renounced by the church more than a century ago and outlawed, as it already was in the rest of the country, as Utah was seeking statehood. But polygamy persists in secluded communities scattered mostly around the West, especially among followers of a Mormon splinter group called the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, or the FLDS. FLDS spiritual leader Warren Jeffs was serving time in a Utah prison for arranging child bride marriages, but that conviction was recently overturned. He remains in jail awaiting prosecution on other charges. Plural marriage was long largely overlooked by Utah authorities until 2001, when polygamist Tom Green went on national television to espouse his lifestyle. He ultimately was convicted of bigamy for being married to five women simultaneously and of child rape in connection with his 1986 marriage to a 13-year-old girl, and served several years in prison. Paul Murphy, a state attorney general's office spokesman, called the Green case "the tipping point" in law enforcement's crackdown on polygamy. Murphy said Brown contacted the attorney general's office before "Sister Wives" aired because he wanted to inquire about the legal ramifications, and was told essentially: "It is against the law, but it's up to local law enforcement." Again though, if there’s only one legal marriage, the rest of the “sister wives” could be called “girlfriends”, “mistresses”, “poodles”, “macaroni” or “schpedoinkal” and it doesn’t matter. I’m just kind of surprised that there isn’t more incidences where some illegal stuff is being shown on TV… but no action is taken. Yet you get ODB on MTV getting some welfare… and the sh*t hits the fan. Good times.

Height Genes – I am a tall handsome man. Okay, at least two out of three ain’t bad, the handsome is up for debate… but I am certainly tall (like top percentile) and mostly definitely a man (probably top percentile on that one too). Whether you love or loathe your stature, scientists now know more genes you can thank, or blame for it. A review of the genetic codes of more than 180,000 people revealed 180 places in our genome where common variations help determine how tall we grow. The finding gives scientists a better understanding of how genes influence our height. These 180 variations account for only 10% of why we're born tall or short (we’re all pretty short when we’re born, aren’t we?), but genes previously known to be at work bring the total portion higher, said Karen Mohlke, a genetics professor at the University of North Carolina School of Medicine. "By doing more sophisticated genetics, the number is closer to 16 percent," Mohlke, one of the many authors of the study, told MyHealthNewsDaily. That means much of what determines human height has yet to be explained, she said, but the findings are still substantial in understanding how genetic variations influence height. "We certainly didn't know which genes, or the extent to which many genes ... would uncover the biology of height," said study researcher Dr. Joel Hirschhorn, of Children's Hospital Boston. The findings provide insight into how variations in the human genetic code can influence common traits, and the methods used in this study can be applied to future research on traits and heritable diseases, Hirschhorn said. The researchers found that many of the variations were near genes already known to cause skeletal growth problems, while others were near genes that have never been suspected of playing a role in determining height. And at 19 of the 180 genome spots, the researchers found multiple variations, which suggests those spots play a huge role in childhood growth, they wrote. Scientists looked only at variations present in many people in this study; they did not investigate rarer variations that could also influence height, Mohlke said. "Less common, or rare, variants may be responsible" for some of the differences in height, too, Mohlke said. Other influences of height include diet and environmental factors, she said, though more research is needed to decide how much of a role they have. The study was published online today (Sept. 29) in the journal Nature if you’re interested. What does this mean? Not a whole lot. Spoiler alert: Your genetics determines your height. GASP!!! Why do I mention it then? Why not? Scientists are closing down on designing the perfect genetic person… but if they were really smart, they would just come find me in Tahoe. Sigh… I’m so humble.

Panda Update – As the Father of Panda Porn, I find this next story appalling. As a spat between Beijing and Tokyo rumbles on, China on Wednesday opted for a bit of panda diplomacy, naming a Japanese woman as one of six winners of a contest to care for the endangered animals. Yumiko Kajiwara, from Tokyo, was picked to become a panda keeper for one month at the Chengdu Panda Base in southwestern China's Sichuan province after a week of training with the animals, a spokeswoman for the base told AFP. "Training was exciting and stressful, but what touched me the most was to meet so many people from other countries. It was a very human experience," the spokeswoman quoted Kajiwara as saying. Her win comes as China and Japan are embroiled in their worst diplomatic spat in years, triggered by Tokyo's arrest of a Chinese captain after a tense maritime incident in disputed waters in the East China Sea. Japanese authorities have now released the captain, but the two sides have yet to bury the hatchet, with Japan reportedly considering stationing troops in the waters, near an island chain claimed by both sides. The five other winners of the contest hail from Taiwan, a self-ruled island that Beijing considers part of its territory awaiting reunification, as well as China, Sweden, France and the United States, the spokeswoman said. They will begin working with the pandas on October 4, and will blog about their experiences to help raise awareness of the endangered animal's plight. The keepers will also trek into the mountains around Chengdu, Sichuan's capital, to study pandas in their natural habitat. There are just 1,600 pandas left in the wild and nearly 300 others are in captive-bred programs worldwide, mainly in China, according to official reports. After having successfully managed to make the animals mate in captivity, researchers are now looking at ways to send captive-bred pandas into the wild to boost the number of animals roaming free. Four pregnant pandas bred in captivity were released into an area of Sichuan forest over the summer to prepare their future cubs for life in the wild, state media reported. But this task is a difficult one, and so far, the only attempt at releasing a captive-bred panda into nature has ended tragically. Xiang Xiang, a male cub who was trained to adapt to the wild and released in 2006, was found dead 10 months later, apparently killed by wild pandas native to the area… possibly gang related. That’s fantastic that they’re spreading awareness and all… so why is it appalling? First off, I wasn’t selected. Let’s see, what are the qualifications? Love for helping pandas? Check. Ability to blog? Done been doing it for years (may have played into why they didn’t pick me, they know I’ll do it anyway). Ability to hike in the mystical mountains of southwestern China? Ugh… yeah, that’s what I do. Watch how pandas reproduce in the wild? Sh*t, I’m the one who started filming that smut to help them in captivity. Apparently one of the requirements must have been a funny accent, which I can also do. That’s not going to show on the blog though. Sigh… this isn’t as bad as being gypped ONCE AGAIN on my Lifetime Achievement Award for working with pandas… but still, you would’ve been intrigued by my observations, right? The only way this would be interesting to me now… is if we find that the wild pandas have a hankering for French tourists and nabs one of the “winners” here. Seriously, is there ANY footage in all of the internet… of a panda mauling a human (not just stealing their jacket and then playing with it like some kind of p**sy like on Tosh.0)? That would get more hits than a joint at a Cypress Hill concert. F**k viral video, this would be a pandemic video.

Anyway, that’ll do it for today, kids. Still excited about the possibility of a second date with Candy… but trying not to get my hopes up either. For some reason, that seems to happen from time to time (as you know from my “dating” entries over the years). Anyway, still optimistic. Have a great day everybody!!! G-g-g-g-ghost!!!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Flying Belgian Love Trigon

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Times are good. Great football game last night (though Jay Cutler should’ve had like 5 interceptions but the refs bailed him out with a lot of BS pass interference calls) and overall over the weekend (MVP stands for Michael Vick, Playa!). Yesterday morning, I saw my first bear since moving up here too. It was on the way to work, just driving along the mountain roads as always, when out of the drivers side window, there’s an adult black bear just kinda trotting along the side of the road, then v-lines into the trees. No pieces of fresh kill on his face or anything like that, just kinda hopping along. You’ve seen how bears run. So yeah, that was cool.

Something else that’s cool, I have a SECOND date with Candy. “$teve, so soon?” Why not? I have to go into Reno to pick a few things up anyway (projector TV on the fritz & upkeep on Gretchen) so why not top off irritating trips to the nearest Best Buy with a little hot sushi action with a lovely woman? Am I right? You know I am. I know what you’re thinking, “Second date? Whoa, this is serious. When are you two planning the wedding for?” Hold your horses there. Just because this is basically the first second date since I started this blog (sigh…) over three years ago (double sigh…) is a great step… but yeah, not getting too ahead of myself. Still doesn’t hurt to be optimistic about it though. Maybe I’ll hold off until date number three before I make my move… or divulge that I am the Father of Panda Porn, think that snakes are going to take over the world & have a fantastic idea to start a magazine that follows & rates bank robberies. I figure once she starts showing a little trust in me, it will be reciprocated. That’s the way to do it, right? Sorry I have to ask. As you may know, I’ve only been on so many second or third dates in my prestigious career… and usually the lady is the one with her foot on the gas. I’m not complaining, I’m just saying. Anyway, here’s some news…

Bank Robbing Monthly – As previously mentioned, here’s the latest in the world of bank robbing. Two would-be Albanian bank robbers were arrested Wednesday as they tried to drill a passageway into a bank vault from a shop they had rented above it, police officials said. In an aborted heist echoing the plot of the Woody Allen film "Small Time Crooks," the two men were caught after the noise from their drilling between the upper floor shop and the bank vault alerted the authorities (go figure). "We moved in when they were in the last stages of finishing the tunnel," Tirana police chief Tonin Vocaj told reporters. Armed robberies at small, lightly protected branches of 16 commercial banks have risen over the last few years in Albania, a small and impoverished Adriatic nation of 3.2 million (and home to some of the greatest female asses in the world). Okay, so now it’s time for their marks. Overall: I have to give it a D+. Pros: They may have based it on a Woody Allen movie that nobody saw instead of “Inside Man”, though it kinda had the feel of a Three Stooges episode. Cons: They got caught. They didn’t have a muffler on the drill and it’s obviously going to be loud. It’s a drill… at a bank. Even after hours, the neighbors would hear (unless you bought out the block or something). There are definitely other ways to rob a bank.

BRM Part Deux – Bank robbers pulled off a dramatic heist last week, strapping a bomb to a teller and ordering him to steal as much money as he could grab from the vault — all while his father was being held hostage. Sound like a plot to a movie? Heat 2? Well, it began when the three masked, gun-toting thieves burst into the teller's apartment shortly after midnight. The men held the teller and his father hostage in the suburban Kendall apartment for seven hours, waiting for morning when the teller usually helped open his Bank of America branch near the University of Miami campus, according to the FBI and local police. One suspect stayed with the father, while the other two and the teller left for the bank in the teller's red 1998 Ford Mustang. Strapped to the teller's body was a device the robbers said was a bomb. Once at the bank around 8 a.m., the thieves sent the teller inside. "They said, 'We have a triggering device. Get as much money as you can and bring it out to us,'" Coral Gables Police Chief Richard Naue told reporters. Also inside the bank was the female branch manager, the FBI said. After the teller took an undisclosed amount of cash, the robbers took off in his car and the manager called police. That triggered a huge response of heavily armed police and shut down traffic on a segment of U.S. 1, a major Miami thoroughfare, leading as well to lockdowns at several nearby schools. Authorities initially feared there may have been hostages inside the bank. Shortly before noon, after police bomb robots had been sent inside, the possible bomb was removed and the shirtless teller was led out of the bank. Neither the teller nor his father was injured. The robbers never entered the bank, apparently relying on the teller's fear of a possible explosion and the potential danger to his father to ensure he would do their bidding inside. "It is an unusual event to have explosives strapped to a victim and sent in," said Dena Choucair, assistant special agent in charge of the FBI's Miami field office. She said there were bomb-making materials in the device, though she said she could not reveal what they were. The FBI and Miami-Dade Police Department's bomb squad were examining the device to determine if it was a working bomb or a fake. They were also questioning the teller, whose name was not immediately released. Although Naue and other officials described the teller publicly as a "victim," authorities wanted to make sure he had no involvement in the plot. "I can't say either way at this point where this person stands," Choucair said. There was no immediate sign of the suspects. Police were still searching late Friday afternoon for the teller's red Mustang, which had the Florida license tag R958DY. Bank of America said in a statement that "the safety of our associates is our highest priority and Bank of America is working closely with law enforcement to assist in the situation." That’s great… but you’re insured either way. Okay, grade time: I gotta go with a B-minus because, well first and foremost, they didn’t get anything… but they get to try another day. Now, the whole hostage AND bomb-strapping combination has promise… but seriously, what was the plan? Have an employee just go in there, take a bunch of money & then walk right out with it in a duffel bag, hand it to you in HIS car & then watch you drive off? With a pinky swear that you wouldn’t hurt his dad? Honestly, if I was doing it, I would’ve just had the teller as the inside man… and this is the perfect alibi. The dad wasn’t harmed, right? Is there any evidence that the other guys aren’t his buddies? A lot of questions with this one… and that’s why it gets a high score for essentially being a wash… because it keeps the authorities guessing, even when it goes bad. Keep an eye out for a next attempt. Yes, I may need psychiatric help… but that has nothing to do with this story.

Flying Belgian Love Triangle - A Belgian woman went on trial last week charged with the murder of a fellow skydiver and love rival who plunged to her death after her parachute was sabotaged (GASP!!!). Els Van Doren, 38, smashed into a back garden from some 4,500 meters (14,764 feet) in November 2006 because both her main and reserve chutes failed to open after she jumped from a plane with defendant, Els Clottemans, 26, their lover, Dutchman Marcel Somers, and another man (who wasn’t getting any). Tehehe, I just thought of a show called “Two Els, a Marcel and a Pizza Plane” that only lasts one season. Anyway, Clottemans, an elementary school teacher (oh yes), is accused of cutting through key parts of the parachute system the weekend before the jump to remove her rival and have Somers for herself. Lawyers for Clottemans, who herself only spoke in court to confirm basic details such as her date of birth and profession, issued a statement expressing their firm belief that their client did not kill a woman she regarded as a friend (but rather she believes she killed a harlot b**ch who’s been f**king her man). In a red top and black trousers and flanked by two police officers, Clottemans showed no emotion as Prosecutor Patrick Boyen read the 68-page indictment. Interest in the case was so great that a live television feed was laid on in a larger room in the courthouse in Tongeren, a town in eastern Belgium. Several police guarded the entrance. Laying out details of the love triangle, Boyen said that bachelor Somers entertained Van Doren, a married mother of two, most Saturdays and the younger Clottemans often on Fridays. Boyen said Clottemans was an experienced skydiver and would have known how to sabotage a parachute and that she had the opportunity to do so when she and Van Doren were with Somers a week before the fatal drop. Van Doren's pilot chute, a small parachute deployed to pull the main chute out, was detached from that, while a line that should have connected the reserve chute to the harness was free. Experts ruled that both items had been deliberately cut and that it could have been done in just 30 seconds with scissors (still wanna go skydiving?). Psychiatric experts have identified signs that Clottemans suffers from a psychopathic disorder (GASP!!!). Clottemans' lawyers say that is no hard evidence against their client, whom they say investigators intimidated and belittled in hours of questioning. "She was continually accused of lying by investigators. The investigators had formed their own version of the truth and were no longer prepared to deviate from that." The trial, which is likely to feature video of the fall shot from a camera on Van Doren's helmet, is due to last four weeks. I know what you’re thinking, “When can I see that footage?” Patience. In due time. What’s the moral of the story? Don’t be involved in a love trigon (because triangle is overused & improper mathematically. It’s not like you call the Pentagon a Pentangle, right? Steroid popping MMA fighters don’t fight in the Octangle? Think about it) unless you’re absolutely certain that both women are sane. The odds of that one? Well, I only took Calculus in the 6th grade & I’m not sure I’m qualified to answer that complex of a computation. Good luck playa…

Full Moon Belgian Booze - Full moons are often associated with tides, insanity and creatures like werewolves & horny sorority girls, but it turns out they're also good for brewing beer. In Peruwelz, a small, sleepy town in southern Belgium, a family-owned brewery has produced its first batch of specialist beer brewed by the light of a full autumnal moon. It isn't so much a nod to mythology as a recognition of nature's impact on the science of brewing. "We made several tests and noticed that the fermentation was more vigorous, more active," explained Roger Caulier, the owner of Brewery Caulier, which began in the 1930s when his grandfather started selling homemade beer from a handcart. "The end product was completely different, stronger, with a taste lasting longer in the mouth," he said. The full moon speeds up the fermentation process, shortening it to five days from seven, which adds extra punch to the beer without making it harsh, according to connoisseurs. The finely balanced, gold-colored beer is 10% alcohol by volume, extremely strong by most European or U.S. standards but not uncommon in Belgium, where traditional monk-brewed beers frequently hit 10-12%. "It goes down very well, no problem at all," said Joseph Francois, a journalist and beer expert who has tasted the brew. Brewery Caulier, which uses methods dating from the 1840s and is well-known for its artisanal beers, plans to produce about 12,000 bottles of its full moon beer, called Paix-Dieu (Peace-God), which go on sale on October 31. The idea came to Caulier after he visited a friend in Alsace, a winemaking region of eastern France, who told him about how he planned his entire production schedule according to the lunar calendar. Caulier began experimenting and eventually came up with a nine-step process that includes using two types of hops and involves a two-week secondary fermentation process inside the bottle, not unlike the technique used to produce Champagne. "It gives the product greater fame, a bit like for great vintage wines," he said. "It could lead to collectors checking the differences between one vintage and another because there could very well be differences between every batch." Being from a three-generation brewing family, Caulier is fascinated by the science behind the process. But he doesn't discount the mythical aspects of full moon beer either. "Many farmers are convinced that the moon influences the quality of some of their products. You can feel agitated on full moons, you have births, you get many myths around the full moon and I think there is some truth behind them." Either way, he's hoping that Paix-Dieu proves a hit and is even in talks to distribute it in the U.S. and Japan. We can only hope… but unless it’s fairly affordable, we may never know for sure. Still can’t understand the thousands of dollars for a bottle of rotten grape juice with wine, so there’s absolutely NO WAY I would understand it for rotten barley juice. Regardless, I like the idea of experimentation within the beer realm. It’s like Willy Wonka & the Whiskey Factory or something. “This beer was brewed on a full moon… and turns even the most timid drinkers into raging sexual animals. Observe. Wait, where did all my Full Moon Brew go? Oompa Loompas?” “Sorry Mister Wonka, that behemoth $teve came in again. He pumped gas through the air ducts, took dozens of incriminating photos with our unconscious bodies, put all of us in a gunny sack & drove off with all the beer saying something about putting a hurtin’ on the 49ers cheerleaders.” “BLAST!!! Oh… and next time, try to sing it out like you guys usually do. I understand that you’re flustered by the whole thing… but I don’t pay you guys to be eye candy.”

Avengers Update – Speaking of movies gone badass, "V," "Stargate" and "Firefly" star Morena Baccarin is the latest name rumored to be joining the cast of Marvel Studios' upcoming "The Avengers" reports Mania. Is she in talks to play The Wasp? The report sounds extremely dubious at best… but gives me an excuse to put a few pics up of her. In more confirmed news, Mark Ruffalo talked with Vulture and revealed that his incarnation of The Hulk will be motion-captured in "The Avengers". The previous two "Hulk" movies with Eric Bana and Ed Norton used entirely CG creations for their Hulk scenes. Finally, director / nerd demi-God Joss Whedon has spoken about the project to SFX and how he intends to juggle both action scenes and so many characters together (and knowing Joss he’ll probably kill a few of them off randomly): "What I will struggle with, in the outline and throughout, is that I would like to put these actors in a room and just make Glengarry Glen Ross. We’re talking about really exciting people and at the same time I have to keep the momentum of the thing going. I can’t let it turn into a lull fest. Knowing that I have enough time to do both of those things – that by the end of the movie you will feel ‘in’ with these guys – is the trick. It’s not an easy one but one that Marvel absolutely honors." Whedon also spoke about Ruffalo's involvement in particular. "They don’t hire Mark Ruffalo [the new Hulk] to say one iconic line and strike a pose. They hire him because he has so much humanity in him. He’s the antithesis of the iconic actor. He’s so human. He was my first choice to play the part, and the fact he is playing the part is nuts! They went to great lengths to make that happen and they understood exactly why he was right for the part" he says. So… okay, no Edward Norton this time around. That’s okay. I understand. He’s got some Academy Award winning role lined up I’m sure so what does he want to be part of an ensemble cast action flick? As any nerd would be, I’m excited for this movie… and adding more eye candy like Morena just makes me moreso… even if it’s just an unfounded rumor. By the way, did you know that Neil Patrick Harris is going to play Hawkeye? Oh you didn’t? It’s on the internet now… so it must be true.

Well, that’ll do it for tonight. Really excited about the SECOND date coming up. Gonna try not to screw it up just yet… but we’ll see. Any tips? They’ll definitely be considered. If not, just wish me luck & have a great day everybody!!!

Monday, September 27, 2010

I Got A Sweet Tooth

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

So… my brother left. Here’s the deal, I was talking to him last night… and basically what turned into a little smoking out on the deck conversation turned into my brother being in tears wondering what the point of his life was besides being a father to his two kids (since their mother is a useless crack whore). He didn’t want to work at a gas station anymore… and he wants a good job… but doesn’t know if he can (want to) go to school for a job that still won’t be there. See, this was different then I usually see my brother. He doesn’t cry much around me. Usually he’s just angry… and a little violent… but we were actually talking about it. I offered my place for as long as he needed, said we could chat about options over the weekend and all the stuff that a good brother should. Then he received a call from my mom’s house. It was my stepdad… and my niece Kairi wasn’t sleeping & she wanted to talk to her daddy. I’ll admit, I was kind of eavesdropping, but with passing traffic outside on my deck it was hard to make out. All of a sudden, my brother hangs up the phone and puts his face in his hand. “What’s up? Bad connection?” “My daughter just told me that she doesn’t want to live with me anymore. She wants to live with grandma.” I was a little stunned. “Just like that? What did she say?” “Just like that.” “She’s a f**king four year old girl. Not even four yet. She’ll say stupid sh*t from time to time. She just likes being spoiled is all.” The phone rings again & I hear my stepdad on the line but can’t quite make it out… something in a “sorry your daughter said that” tone. I just heard my brother say "I will be there tomorrow. You will get me an apartment for a month for me & my kids to stay at." Sometimes said back on the other line. "I WILL BE THERE TOMORROW. YOU WILL GET ME AN APARTMENT!!!" Hangs up. So, to sum up, right in the middle of a conversation with an end goal of setting his life up with a point besides just being a father to his kids, he gets a call from his daughter saying that she doesn’t want to live with him anymore. Needless to say, this was the excuse he needed (had been looking for) to go back to Utah and throw a tissy fit at my mom. Oh… and why did Kairi say that? Because my mom got a puppy… that my brother had already told the kids no on. Isn’t family fantastic? It could be worse, no doubt… but yeah, I did my part.

Other than that, I had no idea what to do this weekend but I figured I’d best catch up on my laundry & cleaning up after my brother (f**king pig sty everywhere he goes), get a haircut & watch my first professional football of the season (been busy the past few weekends as you know). Who knows what else may happen, right? Well, Friday night I started by going to a coworker’s going away party (off to LA to be an actor, I’ll let you know if he’s in anything I like… I mean, Lindsay was once a friend of the blog) and it was a lot of fun. There was Beer Pong, great peeps, hot girls (though every single one of them was spoken for, I checked), great tunes, even a little freestyling. While having a conversation about sexy Halloween costumes and how unnecessary they really are when you have a sense of humor, it somehow got to age… and I mentioned my 30th birthday coming up… and how I wanted to go to Amsterdam, but nobody could afford to go with me (nor will I be able to at this rate). “Why don’t you just have an Amsterdam themed party?” “Holy sh*t!!! That’s BRILLIANT!!! I’ve already got the red light bulbs (bow chicka bow wow), just get a few dozen tulips, some brownies, maybe talk to a buddy that lives on the river to replace the canals, maybe have a Jewish family in the crawl space, a few Rembrandts on the wall, girls dancing in windows, Heineken EVERYWHERE. Oh it’ll work…” So if it comes to be, you’re all invited to my 30th birthday Amsterdamian extravaganza. I’ll keep you posted.

Saturday, didn’t do much expect clean, laundry & college football… though some great games, but you don’t care. Sunday, I went on a date. Oh yeah, $teve still dates when he feels the urge… and this one was a coffee date with, we’ll say Candy, in Reno right after I got my oil changed & my hair did. We met up at Java Jungle down in the River District (my favorite area of Reno thus far) and we just chatted. Candy is funny, intelligent, just got back from a 3 week vacation in Peru, backpacked through Europe, Peace Corps in Guinea (west Africa, not New Guinea), has a marketing job, great sense of humor very similar to mine, oh… and she’s gorgeous. I know what you’re thinking “$teve, she way out of your league.” You may be right… but she seemed to be digging me (as they all usually do before I never hear from them again) so we’ll see how it goes. Wish me luck & I’ll invite you to the wedding. HA!!! Anyway, in the meantime, here’s some news since you’ve been deprived the past week or so…

Back in Black… Rubber – In an effort to keep vampire movies from going completely cheesy & ridiculously bad, Kate Beckinsale has officially closed her deal to reprise her role as vampire heroine Selene in a fourth "Underworld" film at Screen Gems and Lakeshore Entertainment says the trades. Story details are unknown beyond the usual vampire vs. werewolves tale, but it seems likely events will pick up from the end of 2006's "Underworld: Evolution" with all the vampire elders now slain and Selene having obtained special powers including the ability to safely tolerate daylight (apparently it was sexually transmitted by a hybrid vampire/werewolf making sweet love to her knee if I remember correctly). John Hlavin wrote the script which J. Michael Straczynski ("Changeling," "Babylon 5") is polishing. Both a director and an actress to play Selene's daughter are currently being sought. Tom Rosenberg, Gary Lucchesi and Len Wiseman are producing. Filming kicks off in March in Vancouver. So gentlemen, prepare thyselves.

Jolie Update – Speaking of hot ladies with questionably sexy accents, Angelina Jolie has chosen young Bosnian actress Zana Marjanovic for the lead role in her directorial debut — a wartime love story between a Bosnian woman and a Serbian man (though nothing like Romeo & Juliet set in modern times, I’m sure). Marjanovic told the Associated Press on Thursday that the screenplay was "fabulous" and she could not wait to start shooting with such a "great actress and humanist" like Jolie. The 27-year-old actress said she was on her way to Hungary to prepare for the film shoot beginning later this year and take place both in Hungary and Bosnia. Jolie has visited Bosnia twice this year — as UNHCR good will ambassador and to scout for her movie — and had promised she would cast only actors from the region. Marjanovic became known after her prominent role in award winning "Snow" by Bosnian director Aida Begic. So yeah… keep an eye out for this movie, I guess.

Commies & Puppies – It’s pretty much a universal trait among all cultures… that you just don’t mess with another human’s spouse, children, car or dog (though cats are okay because… well, they’re just cats & have no souls). However, sometimes they have to send in the loan sharks to bust a few heads. For example, Russian bailiffs have threatened to take what is most precious from a Russian pensioner who has failed to pay a debt -- her three Shar Pei pedigree puppies, they said Friday. Though Shar Peis are technically not dogs, being of the small hairy annoying rat family of the animal kingdom (feel free to Google it), apparently this still involves the aforementioned values. The pensioner, who bailiffs did not name, owes 350,000 rubles ($11,330) to an individual in her home town in Russia's volcanic Kamchatka region in the Far East. "If she does not fulfill her obligations (to pay back the debt) within 10 days, the puppies will be sold by the Federal Agency for State Property Management," bailiffs said in a statement on their site fssprus.ru. In Kamchatka, Shar Pei puppies fetch 15,000 rubles ($482.60) each, media reported. But bailiffs said they will try to sell them for 5,000 rubles to attract more potential buyers (so if you’re interested in that market, great deals to be had). They added that the famously wrinkled Shar Pei puppies have been allowed for the time being to remain with the pensioner, who breeds them as her sole source of income as she has no property (so… she breeds them out of her apartment or something?). By the way, who the hell gave this woman 350,000 rubles when they know all she does is breed ugly dogs? I mean… we’re talking giving back every last dime from the first 25 puppies sold at peak price with minimum interest on the loan. That’s also assuming the food is free (eating pigeons or rats or something), no checkups for the dogs, nothing of the sort, every last dime… for probably five generations of dogs. I’m sorry pensioner… but if you knew that was the deal, then you pretty much deserve to lose that money… but at least you’ll probably get a few dogs out of the deal (at $4000 a pop). Yet another sign of the Apocalypse, I guess when Shar Peis are valued that much. Oh speaking of which…

Apocalypse Update - At least 280 crocodiles have escaped from a Mexican refuge (not refugee) near the Gulf of Mexico after heavy flooding caused by Hurricane Karl, Mexican media said Tuesday. The endangered Morelet crocodiles were on the roam in six coastal areas in the Mexican state of Veracruz and residents were told not to try to capture or kill them, El Economista reported. The governor of Veracruz told reporters about 280 crocodiles were missing from the reserve in La Antigua, although some media put the number of reptiles at closer to 400. Morelet crocodiles can grow to nearly 10 feet and are found in freshwater swamps, lakes and rivers, and the brackish coastal waters of eastern Mexico, Belize and Guatemala. Federal authorities from the agency charged with environmental protection said crocodile experts (like Steve Irwin? Sorry, too soon?) would be sent to the region to try to recapture the animals. At least 15 people were killed and thousands displaced by the hurricane, which ripped through the Yucatan peninsula and slammed into Mexico's Gulf coast this past weekend. So to recap, a few hundred endangered crocodile prisoners have escaped from their cells to join the army of pythons in Florida and bring out the end of days. All that gibberish in the Bible about the Serpent, the Anti-Christ, Rapture and all that doesn’t seem so crazy & mythological now, does it? And all this time you thought it would be the Environment or Robots that would destroy us all. By the way, has anybody else noticed that it’s been a while since I reported a sexy dream or had a Sexbot Update? Didn’t think so… but I have…

Robopocalypse Update – Legendary filmmaker & iconic $teve, Steven Spielberg himself is said to be considering the film "Robopocalypse" as one of his next projects for Dreamworks Pictures says Vulture. Based on Daniel H. Wilson's unpublished manuscript, the cautionary tale explores the fate of the human race after a robot uprising. Wilson, who has a Ph.D. in robotics, has grounded his tale in a heavy degree of authenticity derived from real robot technology. Drew Goddard ("Cloverfield") has just handed in a new draft of the script which the studio is keen to check out. Spielberg still hasn't made up his mind about which project he'll next helm after "The War Horse" but he may want to decide quickly as there are a multitude of Apocalypses converging to destroy us all… so unless he wants to do this tale years down the road as a historical interpretation like “Schindler’s List” then he’d better get on that pestilence horse immediately after his war horse before the other two show up… like they did for the dinosaurs. Hmm… just had a thought about the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse riding around on Raptors. That’d be sweet…

Dino Update - Scientists said Wednesday they've discovered fossils in the southern Utah desert of two new dinosaur species closely related to the Triceratops, including one with 15 horns on its large head. The discovery of the new plant-eating species — including Kosmoceratops richardsoni, considered the most ornate-headed dinosaur known to man — was reported Wednesday in the online scientific journal PLoS ONE, produced by the Public Library of Science. The other dinosaur, which has five horns and is the larger of the two, was dubbed Utahceratops gettyi. "It's not every day that you find two rhino-sized dinosaurs that are different from all the other dinosaurs found in North America," said Mark Loewen, a Utah Museum of Natural History paleontologist and an author of the paper published in PLoS ONE. "You would think that we know everything there is to know about the dinosaurs of western North America, but every year we're finding new things, especially here in Utah," he said. The Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument has been a hotbed for dinosaur species discoveries in the past decade, with more than a dozen new species discovered. While it is a rocky, arid place now, millions of years ago it was similar to a swamp. The Utahceratops has a large horn over the nose and short eye horns that project to the side rather than upward, similar to a bison (or the MONARCH!!!). Its skull is about 7 feet long, it stood about 6 feet high and was 18 to 22 feet long. It is believed to have weighed about 3 to 4 tons. The Kosmoceratops has similar facial features to the Utahceratops, but has 10 horns across the rear margin of its bony frill that point downward and outward. It weighed about 2.5 tons and was about 15 feet long. The horns on both animals range in length from about 6 inches to 1 foot. Paleontologists say the discovery shows that horned dinosaurs living on the same continent 76 million years ago evolved differently. Scientists say that other horned dinosaurs lived on the same ancient continent known as Laramidia in what is now Alberta, Canada. The numerous horns are believed to have been used to attract mates and intimidate sexual competitors, similar to horns on deer. "The horns really are probably developed at puberty, because most likely these are signals for mate recognition, competition between males, things like that," Loewen said. "They're sexual signals and really that's how we think this group of dinosaurs divided." Again though, that’s all speculation… but hey, what else are you going to do when you find something that died millions of years ago?

Well, that’ll do it for today. Enough talk about family drama, hot girls & the Apocalypse… and the correlation between all three. Also, less than two weeks until my dad comes to visit for the football game and five weeks until New Orleans Halloween, which is even better than a North Pole Christmas or a Dublin St. Patty’s Day. Good times y’all. Filly’s really excited for it too, as she should be. I’m kind of a big deal… so watch out when Tropical Storm $teve hits the Crescent City. Have a great day everybody!!!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Weekend in San Jose

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

So… my brother came and visited this last weekend. Rather than ramble on with my personal opinions on him or anything of that sort, I think I’m just going to talk about what we did and keep it to the pictures for the most part. Why? Because I’m trying to stay positive… and I just don’t want to get into another rant about all that stuff. Friday night, he & he buddy J-Ron showed up… and so after a long 9 hour drive in the car, I drove them down to the lake for some Taco Bell for dinner (it’s what they wanted). We had a nice little dinner on the beach around sunset. Good times. Then we went straight from the beach to Reno to get a few drinks and wander along Virginia Street to show off the neon lights and get our gamble on. The drink of the evenings was Jack & Coke… and there was plenty of it… but of course, I was able to drive home safely because I’m responsible like that. Great time though.

Saturday, we decided to drive down to Silicon Valley to finally check out the Winchester Mystery House. Okay, so why would my brother & I want to check this out? First, we’re nerds… and this stuff intrigues us. Secondly, we both have memories of his crack whore ex-whore going on and on about how it was one of her dreams to go check out the Winchester House… so we took pictures of us smiling in front of it and sent her a few copies. “B**ch!” Also, we just wanted to check it out. See, the story goes… this is from memory, so don’t quote me, but back in the late 1880’s or so, Sarah Pardee Winchester & her husband (of Winchester Rifle fame) bought this small farm house to live in with their son. Well, in a very short time afterwards, her husband & son died in separate health related events. Over the next 38 years, she conducted séances and said that she was told by the spirits of those killed by Winchester rifles to continuously build, non-stop, and because she was a billionaire heiress, she could afford to have about two dozen architects living at the property and building constantly… and she didn’t know anything of carpentry or construction, just what the spirits told her… so it made for some interesting designs… like balconies with no doorway to go on them… and windows in the floor… and doors to nowhere. The architects tried to tell her it was crazy… but allegedly she had her orders from on high. The thing is… some people might just think she was crazy… but I (and shockingly enough, my bro felt the same way) felt sorry for her. She was just a woman in severe mourning for nearly four decades and just trying anything she could to bring back her husband & child. Why do we say that? See, my brother & I kind of dabble in the study of the occult, and there were signs everywhere. The wallpaper, window designs, stained glass, doorways, fixtures, lamps, all this stuff had lots of symbols meant for bringing back the dead. We were kinda talking to each other about it… and then the tour guide mentioned something about them finding an old obituary in the newspaper along with a lock of hair from each of them… and we just kinda looked at each other like “Jackpot!” Poor Mrs. Winchester. She was just trying to appease the spirits… and spared no expense in doing it either… and it still couldn’t bring them back. Anyway, enough of that depressing stuff, here are some pictures that I wasn’t allowed to take… but still did with my ninja skills… so please enjoy even more because they are forbidden images…
All the glass in the house, courtesy of Tiffany & Co.
These are just the spares left over...
Window in the floor...
Hookah on the bannister...

After that, I took my brother to his first In-N-Out Burger and even though it was a little cold by the time we got back to the hotel, he still enjoyed it enough to have it the next day as well. He really digs the animal style… but not nearly as much as the doggy style. Maybe we are related. Anyway, Sunday the two of us (J-Ron was broke & has a heart condition) went to Great America Theme Park because we were in need of some big kid ride excitement. Now, we are both tall strapping men, and we’ve decided that theme parks rides simply aren’t made for us… and if we were dicks, we would sue them for not building the rides to our incredible superhuman dimensions… but alas, at least half of us aren’t dicks. However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t get the pleasure of hearing about it a lot… but that being said, the rides there at Great America are pretty f**king awesome. I highly recommend. Here are some pictures…
A preview of New Orleans in a few weeks?

After the park, we headed back to the hotel for a dip in the hot tub to relieve our aching shoulders & backs (like I said, shoulder restraints suck balls when you have to slouch, especially on REALLY fast herky jerky rides) and then watched a few episodes of “Man Woman Wild” with everybody’s favorite special forces host Myke Hawke… and his hot reporter wife with a British accent Ruth… but her name’s not nearly as fun to narrate with as Myke Hawke. “Myke Hawke needs to stay warm.” “Ruth is in need of protein… and there’s only one source readily available – Myke Hawke.” Yeah, okay, that’s a bit of a stretch, but you get the idea. Just watch a few episodes and you’ll notice a few things… like you can survive on very little food & sustenance, but shelter & sleep are pretty much essential. You can survive just about anywhere… as long as you’re willing to eat questionable things and drink your own urine. His wife Ruth is a fantastic compliment to Myke… because I’m fairly certain that she wouldn’t last an hour in a parking lot without him… but she’s great eye candy and a sometimes refreshing dose of sanity. “You want me… to drink your pee… to wash down the tree bark & grubs that you just had me eat?” I almost expected a few times for her to turn to the camera crew and say “Dude, give me a trail bar & I’ll whisper naughties in your ear.” But the number one thing that I pulled away from this show… is that Myke Hawke is a great name to use in every day conversation. “$teve, I was just trying to tie down my boat, can you help me.” “Absolutely. You know, Myke Hawke says that square knots are the best to use because they are simple, strong & effective.” “That’s… great.” “Yeah, Myke Hawke knows a lot about this kind of thing. He’s been in some PRETTY sketchy situations in his day… and he’s got the scars to prove it.” “Thanks for your help $teve but please… stop talking now.”

The next morning, my brother wanted to go see Alcatraz… but I had already seen it & didn’t want to spend an extra $50 to see it again, so I thought that I’d arrange a lunch rendezvous with Bubbles to check out her new crib since she was home with her sick puppy Brutis, while my brother & his J-Ron went to see the Rock. Well, my brother didn’t take to that very well… kinda threw a tantrum… and said that he just wanted to see Alcatraz because he thought I wanted to. Sigh… so anyway, I didn’t meet up with Bubbles… and we did a quick drive through San Francisco, stopping at the Golden Gate Bridge… and then heading back to Truckee. Here are some pictures…

When we got back, we watched “Fanboys” starring Jay Baruchel, Kristen Bell & a bunch of cameos. The story is about a group of friends in 1998 who are Star Wars… we’ll say fans… to the tenth power. They REALLY like their Star Wars. I would say they were geeks… but then that would be admitting that I’m a Star Wars geek because I knew all of the answers to the quiz questions and own a Chewbacca outfit. Anyway, one of the friends is diagnosed with cancer… and they decide to go on a dream road trip to basically steal the soon-to-be released “Episode One: The Phantom Menace” from the Skywalker Ranch before it’s publicly released so that their friend can see it. Feel free to re-read that last sentence again to wrap your head around the premise. This is why it took so long to release and wasn’t a huge hit. Apparently cancer isn’t as funny as originally thought in that first pitch. So they set out on this cross-country mission… and shenanigans ensue along the way as you might expect. All in all, it was pretty funny at some points… especially if you’re a Star Wars fan. However, the thing that really threw us for a loop in this movie… was that apparently, we drove right by the Skywalker Ranch a few hours earlier… and had no idea. Yeah. Instead of being in SoCal, the Skywalker Ranch is just north of San Francisco… and we literally took the exit AFTER Lucas Valley Road (yes, THAT Lucas) to take CA-37 back to Truckee. Had we known this mere hours earlier, we would’ve investigated the Ranch… but alas, we did not. Next time, I guess. Anyway, yeah, watch the movie if you like Star Wars. If not, you’ll probably just be bored and think the guys are nerds.

Tuesday was back to work… and boy was there plenty for me to do. No worries, I’m used to it. Not sure what’s going to happen when I actually take a full week off… but we’ll see when I get back from New Orleans. When I got back home though, my brother had bought some groceries and things… so we just kinda chilled and watched some movies. First up was “The Losers” starring Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Chris Evans, Thandie Newton & Jason Patric. Based on a comic about a team of elite soldiers who are thought to be killed by a mysterious supervillian named Max (Patric) and are now trying to find a way to clear their names and reenter the United States. Think of the A-Team… but without B.A. It’s an okay movie… but you can tell why it wasn’t highly received by critics. There are a few funny moments, some big explosions, and Thandie Newton’s easy on the eyes… but yeah, pretty predictable.

Next up was “Cop Out” starring Bruce Willis & Tracy Morgan from director Kevin Smith (“Clerks”). The main thing that I remember about this movie from before… was that the original name & working title was “A Couple of Dicks” but for some reason, the studio or MPAA or somebody didn’t think that would work well… so they changed it to “Cop Out” because… well, it was a cop-out move. The story is your usual buddy cop comedy like “48 Hours” or “The Other Guys” where you have two complete opposite personalities paired up (apparently for nine years in this story) and they get involved in some international drug cartel or something. This time around… it’s involving a kidnapped mistress and a baseball card. No joke. It has a few funny moments… but honestly, if I were Bruce Willis’ character, I would’ve probably shot my partner (Morgan) on multiple occasions. Don’t look at me like that. Same rules apply to you. If I’m ever in a situation where I get shot, stabbed, beaten up, kidnapped, tased, robbed, ran over, tortured or anything of that sort… because you are on your f**king cell phone just talking about nothing… when you should be watching my back when I’m in a potentially dangerous situation, I will harm you in accordance with the degree to which I have been hurt. Let’s say I’m just tased and robbed, that cell phone will be found in your large intestine by way of the back door… and I won’t be gentle. Anyway, back to the movie, it’s okay. The plot and situations are not really of the most realistic nature… but hey, they hired Kevin Smith for his dialogue… and even then it’s really just having to listen to Tracy Morgan talk nonsense most of the time. Didn’t really care for it. Sorry Silent Bob. The good news is that I’ve almost completely forgotten about “Jersey Girl”.

Wednesday, after work, I brought them a map of the area… because for some reason, they hadn’t left the house all day because “there’s nothing to do” but I have a sneaking suspicion it’s because J-Ron’s a killbuzz and my brother just wants someone cool to hang out with. Plans were to go to Reno to maybe check out Zepparella at Harrah’s… but thanks to an incredible stop in traffic on I-80, we decided to just go to Crystal Bay and check out the casinos there. I made a few bucks… but yeah, pretty uneventful. Then when we went back, my brother played “Dante’s Inferno” for a while before I went to bed. Like I said, pretty uneventful day overall.

Anyway, on that note, I’m going to stop rambling about my wonderful time with my brother. Hopefully my mom is enjoying her vacation at home with the grandkids & she isn’t purposely delaying the renovation of my brother’s condo so as to get more time away from him… because that would be uncool… and as you know, my mom is not uncool. Have a great day everybody!!!

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