Bacon Beer & Bleu Balls

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Friday night after work, I met up with Dizzy for a little road trip to her stomping grounds of Sacramento for one of her friends’ band’s funk concert at a dive bar called Old Ironsides. The band's name is Funk.Defied... and I've only liked them on Facebook because there is simply not a LOVE button. You know I love the funk... and they bring it with a wide arrangment of funky covers of songs from "Money" by Pink Floyd to Adele's "Rollin' in the Deep" to some Amy Winehouse and some obvious funk staples. I highly recommend that you go check them out at www.funkdefied.com. Anyway, here are some pictures & some news that leads into the rest of my weekend…

Don’t Taze Me, Bro! – In local news, a California man walking his two small dogs off-leash was arrested after a park ranger used her stun gun on him. The San Francisco Chronicle reports that Gary Hesterberg was walking his two small dogs inside Rancho Corral de Tierra, which was recently incorporated into the Golden Gate National Recreation Area. For years, the park has been a refuge for owners who let their dogs run off-leash. However, all national parks have on-leash laws. "It was really scary," said Michelle Babcock, who said she witnessed the incident as she and her husband were walking their own dogs. "I just felt so bad for him." The unnamed park ranger reportedly confronted Hesterberg about his dogs. Hesterberg, who said he wasn't carrying his wallet at the time, allegedly gave a false name (purgery?). The ranger asked him to remain at the scene but Hesterberg instead attempted to leave (resisting arrest?) before he was shot in the back with the taser. Babcock said Hesterberg had repeatedly asked the ranger why he was being detained. "He just tried to walk away. She never gave him a reason," Babcock said. After Hesterberg left the scene, the ranger “pursued him a little bit and she did deploy her" electric-shock weapon, said parks service spokesman Howard Levitt. "That did stop him." No sh*t! Hesterberg was then arrested on suspicion of failing to obey a lawful order, having dogs off-leash and knowingly providing false information. He was later released… as I’m not even sure those are real law violations. Am I surprised that this happened? Not at all. I see people walking their dogs without a leash all the time… and I’m a little glad it was finally enforced… with a vengeance. Was it excessive? Of course… but here’s the alternatives. Let’s say his little dogs off the leash get away from him… and get ran over. That’s never happened, right? Don’t look at me like I’m Michael Vick, we’ve all seen it happen. Number two… the dogs get away from him and cause an automobile accident as they try to avoid vehicular dogslaughter. Number three… children are attacked or something. Number four… after confrontation from those obligated with enforcing the law, he does some BS about not having a license, makes a run for it, & gets away. Number five… she uses pepper spray instead of the tazer. Number six… maybe she pistol whips and/or shoots the suspect as he tries to make a run for it & silences the dogs. Okay, that one was a little rough… but all I’m saying is, it could’ve been worse. Next time… and this goes to everybody out there reading this… tie your dawg up. Note: If I have to pay $75 for allegedly parking near a restricted area, you gonna put your mutts on a f**king leash or face a fine of similar amount. That’s my word! Good job unnamed park ranger! You can hate me now… but I won’t stop now… cuz I can’t stop now… you can hate me nooooow… (by the way, I’m Diddy dancin’ right now)

Harry Potter Shock? – Speaking of things that are shocking to at least one person out there, child star-turned-next Adam West-at-best Daniel Radcliffe admitted he was drunk while filming some scenes for the "Harry Potter" movies during a period in his life where he was drinking "nightly," the young star said in an interview. "I have a very addictive personality. It was a problem. People with problems like that are very adept at hiding it. It was bad. I don't want to go into details, but I drank a lot and it was daily - I mean nightly," Radcliffe said to British celebrity news magazine Heat earlier this week. "I can honestly say I never drank at work on 'Harry Potter.' I went into work still drunk, but I never drank at work. I can point to many scenes where I'm just gone. Dead behind the eyes," the 22-year-old actor said. Ugh… so the last five or six movies then? The young British star, who was propelled to fame at 11-years-old after being cast to play boy wizard Harry Potter in the movies based on J.K. Rowling's best-selling novels, discussed his "very busy personality" and also talked about his production-assistant girlfriend, who he said was "a wonderful, wonderful girl, who's far too good for me." "I can also be quite insecure. A lot of actors have self-doubt. I live under that the whole time, and it's how I function best. I think she puts up with a lot; she says she doesn't," said Radcliffe. The "Harry Potter" star, who has received critical praise for his theater work in the Broadway and West End productions "Equus" and "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying," is currently on the promotional rounds for his film, "The Woman in Black," out in U.S. theaters on Friday. So that explains why he’s coming out with these “shocking” stories. Look, you wanna shock me? Show me a straight edge movie star. No drugs, no alcohol, no orgies, no reckless driving, no drama… just goes out, does his or her job, does it well & helps others around them. That’s right… I’m talking about Tebow. “But Tebow has drama?” Really? Does he? Or is it only what people are saying about him? I’m sure that he couldn’t give two sh*ts and/or rat’s a$$es about what people are saying about him. Leave that drama for Elway to deal with. Anyway, just thought I’d share this little note about my apparent doppelganger, Mr. Radcliffe. P.S. I’m drinking while posting this… hence the “dead behind the eyes” tone of this message. Talking about dogs getting ran over just brought it all back… this one’s for you Zurich!!! (Jaeger shot)

$900 Trillion Lawsuit – Yup… that’s right. A Staten Island mom is making national headlines today after suing the city of West Brighton for $900 trillion, alleging the city improperly placed her two children in foster care. The $900 trillion figure, first reported by the New York Post, certainly is staggering and the standard response so far has been to treat the lawsuit as something of a joke, focusing on the mother's alleged mental illness. Alleged? Okay, that may be a poor choice of words given that figure alone… but I have to agree with the Inquisitr's Kim LaCapria, who says plaintiff Fausat Ogunbayo is actually quite clever in choosing to sue for $900 trillion. After all, how many people would be reading about this story and discussing Ogunbayo's plight had she quietly filed her petition without seeking monetary compensation? Of course there's no way she'll get a settlement remotely approaching that number, if she is awarded anything at all. After all, the entire U.S. has an annual gross national income of just over $14 trillion. Or, put another way, if Ogunbayo was awarded $900 trillion she'd have enough disposable income to pay off the U.S. national debt several dozen times over. Ogunbayo sued the city and the Administration for Children's Services (ACS), alleging that both entities violated her and her children's civil liberties by placing them in foster care in June 2008 (yup, nearly four years ago). In her lawsuit, obtained by The Smoking Gun, Ogunbayo listed her grievances as follows: "For causing plaintiff substantial economic hardship; for causing plaintiff substantial economic injuries; for depriving plaintiff and plaintiff children's Civil Right, 42 U.S.C. section 1983; for depriving plaintiff and plaintiff's children, the right to family integrity; for depriving plaintiff and plaintiff's children, the right to life, liberty, property and the right guaranteed by
statute; for disregarding the probability of plaintiff's children, suffering emotional and mental distress." The city has not responded to Ogunbayo's lawsuit but contends that she is mentally ill and unable to properly care for her two boys, who are now teenagers. The New York City Law Department released a statement to ABC News, which said, "We are unable to comment on pending litigation. The amount a plaintiff requests in a lawsuit has no bearing on whether the case has any merit and no relation to actual damages if any." The state alleges Ogunbayo suffers from hallucinations, refuses mental health treatment and placed her children at risk by leaving them at home for several hours each day. Two of the more specific allegations are that Ogunbayo wrote to her children's former school, insisting that the FBI and Secret Service were after her children and that their skin was becoming darker due to radiation exposure. Hmm… so… is there proof otherwise? However, the state Appellate Division recently threw out a family court finding that Ogunbayo was guilty of neglecting her children. "Proof of mental illness alone will not support a finding of neglect," the court ruled, according to SILive.com. Ogunbayo is representing herself in the case…. and you all know the saying about that. Good luck, Miss Ogunbayo! You’re going to need it…

Bacon Update - It's a golden age for lovers of strange fried food concoctions. Fast food chain Jack in the Box is the latest to this party with its new desert option, the Bacon Shake. Contrary to what bacon lovers might be hoping… the shake isn't actually made with real bacon. Jack in the Box describes the Bacon Shake as combining "real vanilla ice cream, bacon flavored syrup, whipped topping and a maraschino cherry." Specifically, one astute consumer at the blog GrubGrade says the flavoring is Torani bacon flavored syrup, which you can order yourself if you want to make Bacon Shakes at home (thank you). As it turns out, restaurant chain Denny's was ahead of the curve on the bacon-and-ice cream fad. And they even included real bacon in their Maple Bacon Sundae. How could I have missed that? Find a shake insufficient? Thankfully, there's a bacon tree for that. Though be warned, its 27,149 grams of fat and 140,723 calories may make your calculator go into cardiac arrest. To their credit, Jack in the Box didn't rest on their laurels with the Bacon Shake. They've launched an ad campaign, "Marry Bacon" that is exactly what it sounds like. There's not much there other than some moderately amusing videos, but the golden nugget is this Bacon tuxedo, which you can buy for under $20. If that's too steep, you can go with the "I Love You More Than Bacon" Valentine's Day card or the primal allure of… wait for it… Bacon cologne. Yes, so you can smell like you work at Denny’s. That gets ALL the ladies sizzling in their own juices. There are even competing versions of bacon-flavored beer, for those so inclined. Guess who just found out that Rogue Ales here in North Beach offers the Bacon Maple Ale. The beer lists "Applewood-Smoked Bacon" among its ingredients. The fermenting process must be
legendary… but like I said, it leads into the weekend…

Saturday, Dizzy & I headed out to North Beach to test this alluring elixir of bacon, maple syrup &
fermented hops at Rogue Ales Public House… and allow me to testify, it's basically the perfect breakfast beer (for those who want to drink before noon). It's smokey with a little sweetness to it... but yeah, pretty good... even if the bottles are cheap wine priced at $13 for a 750 ml bottle. While there, we also tried a few of their other offerings (Chocolate Stout & OREgasmic Ale) as well as some appetizers like their Kobe Blue Balls... yes, kobe beef meatballs with bleu cheese. Delicious all around.

Afterwards, we wandered around the city for a bit, then made our way over to the Chinese New Year Parade on Market Street. The temperature dropped pretty steadily once the sun went down... but we stuck around for the entire thing & here are some wonderful pictures. I hope you enjoy.

Anyway, now I'm doing some cleaning out of the closet & donating some old clothes to the Salvation Army (really so I have more closet space) and relaxing after a pretty busy day yesterday. Have a great weekend everybody!!!