What Happens In Vegas... Hammertime!!!

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, it’s been yet another busy week where I feel like I’ve done so much… but still haven’t done anything (yard work, Jeep registration, career progression, etc). Anyway, when last I left you, I was on my way to Las Vegas to break Jackie D into the Quarter Century Club… Vegas Style!!!

Wednesday – After work, took a shuttle to the airport & flew out to Vegas, met up with Jackie D & her crew at the Cosmopolitan, and this was the official birthday so we headed out for some drinking. First stop was ROK at New York New York, which as you might have guessed… was pretty dead on a Wednesday night, but that basically just meant that we had the dance floor to ourselves & ladies drinks were free while we were there. After a while there, we went to Nine Fine Irishmen for some Guinness and tunes, then to Coyote Ugly… for about five minutes… then back to ROK where it was still dead… then to get some pizza (as we had been drinking steadily aka the Vegas diet, liquids only & lots of walking & dancing), walked back to the room, slept like a baby.

Thursday – May have slept like a baby, but woke up sounding like Barry White & feeling a little like his corpse (RIP homey). Actually wasn’t that bad, just needed some water and Wicked Spoon buffet and I was right on track ready to go. We wandered around the Strip a bit from MGM Grand to the Venetian & back during the day. Best part about hanging out with attractive African-American women all day on the Strip… is they’re so f**king hilarious. For example, there are legions of people trying to sell whatever on the Strip, whether it’s handing out coupons or hyping bars or tickets to shows or whatever. Well, one “gentleman” asked us if we were looking for some Soul Food. Well, they immediately responded with “That’s some racist sh*t right there, homey. What? You think I need some soul food? I’m straight. You know I got fried chicken in my purse. We all do. Where can I get my watermelon on?” Sad thing… I kinda wanted to know where I could get some good soul food… but I wasn’t about to let that conversation flourish. Everybody should speak their mind so freely… and alcohol helps.

"Excuse me miss but I can see your... everything."

That night, we had dinner at Tao, which was pretty good (pictures), then to the club portion with special guest DJ Rev Run of Run DMC. After a while there, we headed over to Tryst who had an unannounced special guest DJ by the name of Jermaine Dupri (So So Def Records). Maybe you’ve heard of him… Good times and the clubs were actually cool too. I liked the waterfalls at Tryst… and the amateur stripper poles.

Happy birthday, Jackie D!!!

DJ Rev Run!!!

Trust me, it's Jermaine Dupri...

Friday – More strip wandering during the day, with Jackie D & I stopping at Diablo for some drinks to get ready for the night at the Palms. First stop was Ghostbar located at the top of the hotel with a beautiful shot of the skyline. Next stop was the VIP lounge at Rain with special guest DJ Jazzy Jeff (the other guy from Fresh Prince of Bel Air) and thanks to complimentary drinks (well, tips stacked up as the empty glasses were taken away), good beats & a friendly atmosphere, there was crazy shenanigans going on that night. I’d love to go into details, but you know the rules of Vegas. Pictures…

I'm not sure how they let me

leave the hotel room in that outfit...

Saturday – Now, we weren’t particularly weakened by the activities of the previous nights, but I honestly just blame MTV for making us stay in pretty much all day. First off, we were flipping through the channels… and there was “True Life: I’m a Marijuana Dealer” which obviously peaked our interest (always looking for a new career) and frankly the people on there were so crazy & dramatic (as you might expect from an MTV reality show) so we had to watch it. What followed it up?

A movie that I hadn’t seen but somehow felt a connection to was called “Hustle & Flow” starring Terence Howard & LUDA!!! Sorry, Chris “Ludacris” Bridges. Anyway, it’s about a pimp / hustler from Memphis (Howard) who runs into an old high school friend who is now a music producer (Anthony Anderson). Then, through divine intervention at a gospel recording, he decides that he wants to leave the pimp game to be a rapper. He records a record with the help of his friend and his friend’s friend (DJ Qualls of “The New Guy”, who basically plays me in this movie, crazy white boy who simply irresistible to the ladies) and tries to pitch it to his old buddy Skinny Black (LUDA!!!) who is a bonafide hip-hop superstar. Best part: Watching this movie with the ladies and just commenting on all the crazy stuff in it… and the other movies that followed. I really like this movie, but definitely need to see the unedited version. It’s an Academy Award winning film y’all.

Next up was “Get Rich or Die Tryin’” starring 50 Cent which I’m pretty sure that I’ve already elaborated upon… and still enjoy… but again, watching it with the ladies, you REALLY have to question the love story that they had in there. Joy Bryant’s character must be outside her damn mind. That was followed by “Notorious” about Biggie Smalls while we were getting ready to go out on the town again to Lavo. The club was pretty nice… but we honestly didn’t stay out too long because… well, this was their 5th straight night… and Jackie D’s friend Co-Real is kind of a lightweight, so I ended up playing the role of (and I quote) “Captain Save-a-ho” and getting her home so that Jackie D could continue to dance & party a bit. No worries. I could’ve used the rest anyway… and besides, I had driving to do the next day.

Sunday – I was supposed to meet up with Barbie & Keanna this weekend… but due to work schedules & Keanna getting into trouble at school, that wasn’t meant to be. Too bad because I’m pretty sure that Keanna would’ve loved going to the Grand Canyon with us. As it was, Jackie D, Co-Real & I loaded up and drove about four hours to the south rim. Before getting there, we stopped in the little town of Grand Canyon & had Mexican food at a little place there. We were VERY suspect of the place when we were almost absolutely certain that they didn’t get the order right… but they surprised us & presented us with some amazing food… and the drinks were thorough as well. By the way, did you know that it snows at the Grand Canyon? Me neither… but please enjoy the pictures…

One of us is driving 90 MPH down the freeway...

and therefore looks ridiculous in this picture...

The Earth's coolest hole...

"Snow? Seriously?"

That night after driving back & dropping Co-Real at the airport, Jackie D & I were looking for a dive bar. We had done clubs all the other nights… but we were looking for something with Guinness on tap, games, & where dressing up would be a t-shirt & jeans without holes. Well, there was one place on the Strip that met those requirements & I hadn’t really ventured before - O’Shea’s. You’ve all walked past it on the Strip. Hell, some of you may love it. For those who have yet to venture this little treasure, it’s basically a very small casino with some oddities. Earlier in the week, there was a little person dressed as a leprechaun hollering at people about the upcoming beer pong tournament. If we didn’t have plans, we might’ve stayed for that. However, this evening, we were looking to drink a bit. So we went to the bar… and from the small bar, you could see… in the same sitting… the bar, beer pong tables, a food court AND the table games (roulette, blackjack, etc) at the same time. The clientele - drunk white people from wall to wall. They were dancing to Irish jigs (sort of), showing off their tattoos, playing beer pong, and Jackie D even made a friend at the ATM that was having second thoughts about getting a tattoo. However, after having an allegedly awkward conversation, she did it… having been inspired by Jackie D (somehow) and came back to show us later in the night. Yeah, it was awesome… and then we went to Fatburger for some greasiness to soak up the booze later on. Good times.

Monday – Most of my day was spent at the airport… really doing nothing. I did walk around a bit after checkout but yeah, nothing really to report about this day.

Tuesday – We had our Work Outing so my first day back to work was a half day… followed by a trip to Alcatraz, then a wine tasting at Bulxome Street Winery, ending in various tapas at Epic Steakhouse with white elephant gifts, baby pics, trivia & all the while being driven around town in a luxury motorcoach. Yeah, not a bad way to live, right? Fitting rewards for all of our hard work this year… and plenty more to come in the next.

Wednesday – Another shortened workday but got caught up from the Vegas trip thankfully.

Thursday – Thanksgiving was to be spent in Santa Rosa with my Aunt Faye, Uncle Dennis & Cousin Steph as well as meeting her husband Tom for the first time. There was fried turkey, fantastic stuffing, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie & plenty of drinks to wash it all down… and some great football too. Really a great time spending Turkey Day with the family, even if it’s not with the whole family back in Utah.

Friday – Half day at work followed by lounging at home. The roommates were either out of town & most of my local friends had their own plans going on… so I caught up on some TV from Vegas week… and watched “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” from Netflix. This is the fourth installment of the series starring Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow… and is a prequel where he’s in search of Ponce de Leon’s legendary Fountain of Youth… but so is the British navy led by Admiral Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) and the dread pirate Blackbeard (Ian McShane). Throw in Penelope Cruz… and you’ve got a pirates tale. I enjoyed it… but it was just like the previous three… though I’d say it was my favorite… because I didn’t have to listen to Orlando Bloom & Keira Knightley. Sorry, it’s just the truth. I’d much rather listen to Penelope Cruz. It’s just how I’m wired, I think… and there was some hot mermaid action. Anyway, if you liked the first ones, check it out.

Saturday – I FINALLY fixed up the backyard by sectioning off the garden & firepit and laying down the redwood chips. It only took a few hours once I got the materials & J-Mo loaned me the tools, but it looks a thousand times better already… and more to come… even if it’s just in time for rain & cold weather. It’ll still be good to get the foundation set and then touch up when spring comes around. Observe…

That night, I watched “Just Go With It” with the roommates and starring Adam Sandler & Jennifer Aniston. It was the first Adam Sandler movie of the year, now on DVD, but the basic synopsis is that a plastic surgeon (Sandler) has been lying about having an abusive wife for 20 years to pick up random strange at bars & other social gatherings. Not a bad system, I’m sure. Well, he meets a super hottie (Brooklyn Decker) who he falls for… but she finds a wedding ring… and now, for some reason, he has to spiral into this web of lies to try to keep her. Eventually it involves his assistant (Aniston) and her kids… and it just goes from there… evolving into a family vacation to Hawaii… and nothing romantic EVER happens in Hawaii. Now, I understand the premise… sort of. You tell one lie… and it grows… and grows… and grows… but come on. Even for an Adam Sandler movie, it’s kind of weak. Regardless, the movie was somewhat funny & even feigned sincerity at some times. I enjoyed it… and let’s face it, Jennifer Aniston’s still pretty amazing in a bathing suit… and Brooklyn Decker as well… and there’s even some hilarious cameos by Nicole Kidman & Dave Matthews.

Well, that’ll do it for the past few weeks really. We’re supposed to get internet by Friday so that’ll help with frequency of these things… but hey, I’m trying. Besides, Christmas & Hanukkah & Kwanza are just around the corner… so be merry, b**ches!!! Have a great day everybody!!!