Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Off to EPIC Vegas Trip


Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, it’s been a pretty slow week leading up to the Vegas Adventure. Most of the time I’ve been hanging out with the roommates, J-Mo, and event hit the town with Bubbles Friday night after work (for about 8 hours or partying) and then watching the 49ers game at Yancey’s on Sunday. Like I said last time, we’re really looking into doing a weekly meet-up to explore the city & keep in touch. I like it… and she seems to enjoy it. How can I tell? If she didn’t, it wouldn’t happen. She’s pretty easy to read that way. Oh… and speaking of football… what the f**k Eagles? The team would be 8-1 if the games were only 3 quarters long… but instead you’re 3-6. Funny note: I was watching the game yesterday… and when the Eagles kicked the field goal to go ahead 17-14 with five minutes left, I turned off the TV & went to meet up with Bubbles. Why? Because I KNEW they had just lost the f**king game & I wasn’t going to watch it. I KNEW that the Cardinals… with John “Who?” Skelton at quarterback would march right down the field & get a touchdown… and they did. Why? Because it happened four other times in the past two months. AH!!! Anyway, that’s all I have to say about that. By the way, I’m thinking that one of these days, I might do one of those minute by minute updates for watching the Red Zone Channel on this blog, especially if my roommates are watching it with me. Why? We’re pretty hilarious… for example, some excerpts from this week’s would’ve included…

11:14 AM – According to Pixie, Curtis Painter has the prettiest hair in the NFL

11:38 AM – The announcer on the Red Zone Channel just said “hand job” and I spent the past minute laughing so hard that if I had any milk in my system, it would be coming out of my nose. In full context, he was recapping a one-handed catch that a receiver made on an earlier play that we didn’t get to see flipping through the channels are this show does… but he said “the previous play he caught a 27 yarder, the one-hand job” but alas, he uttered the term “hand job” on national TV. God bless Direct TV!

12:05 PM – After hearing “hand job” I’m paying more attention to terms that the announcers are using… and if I wasn’t familiar with football, they would sound really bad. Terms like “penetration”, “exploding through the gap”, “tight end”, “motion in the backfield”, and really just about anything said can be mildly twisted into a sexual innuendo. Try it.

12:13 PM – A commercial just told me that “Love is turning your truck… into a pirate ship.” That explains SO much about why I’m single… I was WAY off. Gretchen, prepare ye to become a yacht come springtime… and we shall amass a vast bounty of booty. AAARRRRR!!!

Anyway, that’s just a small dose, but there were MANY more Sunday… and trust me, you would be entertained with the eclectic mix of random sh*t that I think about when I watch TV… and that was just the morning games.

Let’s see… basketball is going… well, the usual. We refuse to learn a system & I’m having to be the only person inside the three-point line most of the time… and play every minute, which isn’t that bad… until they take me out so there are five three-point shooters out there. Look, I can shoot! Better than you guys apparently… no need to take me out, nobody’s going to block me on the arc. Ever. So yeah, still having some fun… but nobody likes losing all the time, especially when it’s because other people can’t hold onto the f**king ball & you go entire halves without touching the ball because… well, see above.

Monday night was the Softball championship… and as expected most of our great players came out so I was designated hitter, which I’m cool with. I do have a really good on base average since I’m not exactly going to crush it over the outfielders, but I’m great directional and can run pretty fast… and I have no quams about running over people… which apparently is frowned upon in San Francisco softball where it was the point of Tahoe softball. So many odd rules in this game. Anyway, back to the game, we were doing great, one or two runs each inning while shutting the other team out. We were well on our way… and then we had one bad defensive inning where they scored 6-7 runs on a few bad plays & errors… and long story short, we lost by a run, 8-7. Still, 2nd place was the best that our company had ever placed so there was a lot to be said for it… and we were still proud… but again, nobody likes losing… and the other team was at least gracious winners. They weren’t cocky pricks like the guys we beat last week. I was NOT going to lose to them. Anyway, it just gives us something to build on for next year. I’m getting my wind back playing basketball twice a week & working out 4-5 times a week. Once there’s a baseball field from the view of my bedroom then it’ll be pretty easy to get some batting practice in once in a while. I can work on my fielding a bit… and worst case, I’d make a great first baseman being a HUGE target whereas our first baseman this year was maybe five foot & no vertical, kinda bad for an amateur softball team. Anyway, that might be my way into the everyday lineup… or right fielder. If I had more practice, I’d be pretty good. Softball’s just not my first sport… or second… or really even third honestly. Maybe cracking the top 5… but, I AM an athlete… so I can do better. Next year, we’re getting that 1st place f**king trophy.

After the game, a few of us went to Goat Hill Pizza in Portrero Hill area & it’s pretty nice. It’s a low key pizza joint where you pay $10 and they bring you out all these different combinations of pizza like it’s a Brazilian steakhouse or something. They’ll bring you a pesto chicken, followed by a “piggy pie” (bacon, sausage, ham & onions), then something like a combination of pineapple, jalapeno, sausage, peppers & goat cheese or something. Usually pretty good stuff too, especially for $10 all-you-can-eat. They also have beer, so I had a Stella to wash it all down while chatting with the teammates, talking about next year, & where we all grew up and stuff too. Again, these are coworkers but not in my department, so I rarely get to see them aside from softball and other social things, but I’m also making it a resolution to get out there more & interact with other coworkers, which may actually work with business slowing in the winter but then again, if business is slow, it means I’m not doing something right… so I should probably be in my office working on that. It’s a kind of double edged sword. Damned if you do & damned if you don’t. Oh well, I still enjoy it.

A movie I saw this past week was “Priest” starring Paul Bettany, Maggie Q, Christopher Plummer & Karl Urban. It’s a comic book adaptation about… I guess an apocalyptic future / alternative universe where vampires are vicious eyeless creatures similar to werewolf bats or something… but there are these superhuman defenders called the Priests with special powers to kill them… and they basically vanquish them… but because this was after a nuclear war, all cities are giant cities surrounded by vast spaces of desert (think Judge Dredd’s Mega Cities) and everything is ran by the church (inexplicably really, but I’m sure it’s a metaphor for having faith in religion instead of faith in government or something). Anyway, there are some mysterious deaths & a kidnapping of a little girl at one of the outposts… and they think it’s vampires, so the missing girl’s uncle (Bettany) is a Priest and he goes after her against the will of the Church. From there, it’s a bunch of fighting, CGI, ridiculous physics & so on… pretty much what you would expect from a bad movie like this… but it wasn’t completely horrible, I guess. I don’t plan on seeing it again. In fact, I wouldn’t really recommend it either. It’s not even good for making fun of other than every time that I see Christopher Plummer in a movie being all old & evil… I think of “Sound of Music” and it blows the whole thing for me.

Next up was “Fast Five” starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne “THE ROCK” Johnson & LUDA!!! Have you seen any of the first four “Fast & Furious” movies? It’s pretty much like those… but with a bigger budget or something. Okay, at the end of number four, the gang (Diesel & Walker along with Jordana Brewster) are on the run from the law… so of course, they go to Rio de Janeiro. Seriously, if you were on the run from the law, where else would you go? Anyway, the DEA is after them (led by THE ROCK with an interesting choice in facial hair, kinda of a Fu Manchu thing) and they don’t f**k around apparently. There are also drug cartels involved, $100 million dollars in a safe, fast cars, bringing all the gang back together from the other movies, you get the idea. It’s what you expect. Again with the unrealistic physics & absurdness of EVERYTHING making it an alleged “guy’s movie” or whatever… but I can deal with a little disbelief. The entire last action scene though… just went from ridiculous… to “are you sh*tting me?” to… is it over yet? However, I was watching it with the roommates (thanks Paul Walker) and I don’t know if there’s… an intentional love story between Vin Diesel & The Rock… but it started out subtly… and then at the end of the final action sequence, there’s an interestingly worded dialogue… and then an awkwardly long stare into each other’s eyes… “I’ll see you around, Toretto” and then another awkwardly long stare… and then a quizzical look by the girl that’s supposed to be the love interest at the two of them… and then from there I just started laughing for a bit so I assume it fade wiped to the next scene. Anyway, mildly entertaining, there’s a nice 1970 Dodge Charger in it, but yeah… didn’t really care for it. Much like the others in the series that I have seen… but for what it’s worth, best of the series. Not saying much… but saying something. Also got a great idea for a movie myself from it… but you’ll just have to wait for the previews on that one.

Also, if you’re wondering why my updates are few & far between, still no internet at home & I’ve just been too busy to go to Starbucks to set up with all of the pictures more than once or twice a month… and I still haven’t even started on my backyard really. How sad is that? Oh well, perhaps my life will get into order one of these days… or maybe it is & I’m just finding less time for blogs & such… but I’ll try, because I like to share my thoughts with the few of you that actually read this.

Well, I’d better head off for Vegas. Jackie D arrived yesterday… a Tuesday… and has already partied with DJ Pauly D of “The Jersey Shore” and Three 6 Mafia. I may be in WAY over my head with the amount of ballin’ that’s about to go on… but hey, I’m a great swimmer. Have a great weekend everybody!!!

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