Thursday, November 10, 2011

Halloween 2011 - San Francisco










Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

So… I was wondering the other day what the hell I was going to do for Halloween this year. I had just found out about a nice website where I got $30 lower bowl tickets to the Browns – 49ers game on Sunday the 30th. I had decided that unless there are unforeseen circumstances, I was just going to dress up as Waldo again this year (last year’s New Orleans Halloween post coming soon now that I have pictures) because I’m incredibly lazy. Now I just had to find out where friends & lovely singles were going. In this path, I went online… to one of my favorite sites, SF Funcheap, where you can find lots of fun and/or cheap things to do in the City. Well… that’s when I found… a Where’s Waldo Flashmob Bar Crawl on Saturday night, October 29th not too far from my house. F**king SOLD!!! I’ve already got the outfit. I’ll still stand out because… I’m f**king HUGE!!! It’s a pub crawl. Photo opportunities abound. My fortune cookie the other day told me I would “find somebody special at a social event” so I guess that means that I may find a Wenda or two there. Sounds good to me. Also, I found out that Halloween night (Monday this year) at Yoshi’s is a pretty nice concert / party with a $5 cover charge so I may have to hit that up too. Probably won’t do that one alone though. We’ll see how I feel after work.

Friday night, I went to Café Prague after work for a little happy hour & to celebrate the Independence Day for Czechoslovakia back in 1918. Obviously it’s changed hands a few times since then… but that was the reason for the celebration. Much like St Patrick’s Day is a reason for get drunk for Ireland. Or Halloween is a reason to dress comically or sexy in honor of Lord Satan or tricking ghosts or something. Or Columbus Day is a reason to celebrate the genocide of indigenous peoples by a three-day weekend with wholesale savings on furniture & kitchen appliances. What was my point? Oh yeah, Café Prague was a pretty nice place. Great beer, great food, only stayed for an hour or so but highly recommend it & sure I’ll be back there for a happy hour when it’s not so crazy (on top of celebration, it was Game 7 of the World Series… and the Cardinals won).

After that, I went to the apartment… and my roommates had just started a Terminator marathon… so for the next 5-6 hours we watched the extended versions of the first two movies… and it was pretty awesome. Oh why were we watching them? Well, my roommate Pixie was dressing up as Sexy John Connor (though she really liked Terminator’s first jacket) and her friend was dressing as Sexy John’s Stepmom from T2 with the sword arm. Clever, right? Apparently it wasn’t to be though as after getting dressed up, they decided to hang at the apartment. Good for them. Another roommate dressed as Sexy Batwoman (though I didn’t get to see it yet) & Nurse dressed as Sexy Nurse… but she does that just about every night. She didn’t go out & party this weekend for whatever reason… mostly being on call… but they got the night off last minute. Oh… and how did I dress for Halloween?

But you knew that already… so I went by myself to the steps of City Hall in San Francisco to meet up for the Where’s Waldo Flashmob Pub Crawl. While waiting, I met a bunch of people dressed as Waldo & before the night was through, I pretty much introduced myself to everybody & chatted with them for a bit. We went to several bars on Sutter Street including Fly, R Bar, Ace & Trinity. Each had their own distinct style whether classy lounge, dance club, basic neighborhood bar, etc & we thoroughly enjoyed each as far as I knew. Here are some pictures though…

And yes, I did hit on Carmen Sandiego yet again this year. I don’t understand it. She & Waldo are both seen in some of the most exotic locations in the world (and through time & space as well) yet I don’t think they’ve ever been seen together. Seriously, they should just hook up & have tall, sexy, inconspicuous & devilishly clever children already. If it worked for Batman & Wonder Woman (to produce me) then it could work for them. Then again, Batman & Wonder Woman also gave birth to my brother… who is questionable at best. Anyway, what’s my point? Sigh… oh yeah, I wanna f**k Carmen Sandiego. Something about that Latin-Irish woman in red just… giggidy! Headed back home a little after midnight to catch the bus back & ran into a guy & two lovely ladies from Switzerland at the bus stop, so we spoke a little German, a little surprised they could understand me with how much I had to drink & how long it had been since I spoke German… but hey, they seemed to get the jist. They’re in town on business (probably spy stuff) and weren’t dressed up. Shocker alert! Halloween isn’t a big thing in Switzerland. Oh well, the ladies seemed impressed by my German too (and curious outfit) but they didn’t let me giggidy their geschmoiggities so… I went home & hung out with Nurse for a bit watching Law & Order before heading to bed. (buh buh… that’s a scene transition from Law & Order)

Sunday, I watched a little football then went to the 49ers – Browns game, which was pretty good though really complete domination by 49ers more than the 20-10 final would indicate. The Niners are 6-1 & the second best record in the NFL. Who knew? After that, I went to play a basketball game… and get this, you know how we haven’t won a game like… ever. Well, I asked a buddy of mine from the YMCA to play with us (he also lives two doors down in the same apartment as Joy, remember her?) and we had all of our people show up… and we set a strategy to run & gun since we had 8 people instead of just five… and guess what? We were up 46-4 at the half. Yeah… see what happens when you have a half-ass team with a half-ass strategy… and of course, me at center. WHAT? We ended up winning by over 50 because I sat most of the 2nd half & we were just running out the clock mostly so nobody would get hurt or offended but yeah, good times now that we have a real team.

Monday, Nurse & I went to Home Depot to get some things for the backyard. I guess we’ll be starting that project this weekend. Right now it’s just the redwood bark chips for covering the ground once I level it out and a few brick separators for the garden area. However, it’s a good foundation for the area… and from there, anybody can just get the potted plants or flowers or whatever and add them as desired… or cheap patio furniture… or if we decide to do a firepit, we can add that easily. Once the groundwork is set, the rest is pretty cake. We filled up Gretchen with 20 cubic feet of bark chips on top of all the other stuff. She’s amazing. We celebrated by grabbing In-n-Out Burger on the way home. Good times. In other news…

Detroit Lions are HOT!!! – Everybody in football is surprised at the NFL’s Detroit Lions. The team has won… nothing… ever. Well, okay, I think they might’ve won something back in the 40’s but think they’ve won one playoff game in the Super Bowl Era, nearly half a century… and haven’t made the playoffs since Barry Sanders was playing. Remember him? Well, this year they started 5-0 for the first time since 1980 (before I was born) and there may be a little secret weapon that they have… but as with everything in Detroit, the police are involved. Police may put the brakes on a party bus that was apparently operating as a Sunday strip club for reveling Lions fans at a popular tailgating spot in Detroit. Investigators believe fans tailgating before a recent Lions home game were allowed onboard the "Booty Lounge," a large red and black bus replete with two stages, steel dancing poles, tinted windows and even a smoke machine, after forking over a $10 donation to its operators, Detroit Police spokeswoman Eren Stephens said Thursday. That’s right… TEN BUCKS!!! What a value!!! She said the department's chief, Ralph Godbee, thinks the arrangement is illegal, but that the department won't take action until it completes its investigation. "We know the game is coming up and ... we're looking into this whole operation," Stephens said. Police began investigating after WDIV-TV broadcast a story about the bus this week. The station reported that the bus was parked next to Detroit's Eastern Market, which is a popular tailgating spot that is about a half-mile from Ford Field, where the Lions play. The bus operators, who didn't respond to email and phone requests seeking comment, say on their Facebook page that the bus can be hired for private parties and is available with or without "ladys," adding that "our opinion is that is a lot more fun with em!" They say they take the bus to "numerous events" each year, and they invite the public to "pay a visit." A Facebook posting from this spring suggests they charged $20 for a Detroit Tigers opening-day tailgate that included food and drinks. Again, GREAT value!!! David Draper, an attorney who represents more than a dozen strip clubs in Michigan but who does not represent the bus operators, said such establishments require a special license from the city. Still, bus operators might argue that movable venues are exempt and more akin to a "one-off" event such as a bachelor party at a hotel. "The argument from the city is going to be, 'absolutely not — you're just trying to skirt the issue by going mobile,'" Draper said. Detroit Lions spokesman Bill Keenist said the team won't comment on the bus matter. Photos have emerged that purportedly show two uniformed Detroit police officers posing with a woman believed to be part of the operation. Hell yeah!!! Stephens said those photos are up to four years old, and Godbee told the Detroit Free Press he's not passing judgment until the department completes its investigation. My opinion… other teams need to get on this bus idea.

Rihanna is a Robot – It’s been my belief for years… and still is… that pop star Rihanna is a robot in the same way as SimOne. For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, Netflix it. An interesting tidbit about the hip-hop cyborg happened last month. Northern Ireland farmer Alan Graham says he doesn't know who Rihanna is but she must keep her top on while performing on his land. Graham says he enforced a dress code as he watched Rihanna shoot a video last month in his wheat field in Bangor, east of Belfast, for her new single, "We Found Love." She also performed three concerts in Northern Ireland while there. The 23-year-old switched from a flannel checked shirt into a stars-and-stripes bikini, a red bra, a mesh black top, and finally went topless before Graham climbed off his tractor to protest. Really? "The state of undress was becoming inappropriate," Graham says. "I had a conversation with Rihanna. I hope she understands where I'm coming from. We shook hands." Mmm… yes… a good firm handshake will certainly do the trick. Anyway, hordes of locals gathered to watch the pop star film the video too. So yeah, it’s interesting that a farmer would have a problem with a wee bit o’ nudity… but it’s his right. That goes to show right there… how do you get to see some pop star neeps & tatties? Own Land.

Lindsay Update – So Lindsay Lohan’s been in trouble… and she got her probation upgraded to community service. Then she had to go & show up late her first day… so her arrival at the morgue for community service on day two became a big media spectacle for some reason. News helicopters hovered over the coroner's facilities and cameras greeted her black sport utility vehicle when Lohan reported for duty, one day after officials turned her away for being 40 minutes late to an orientation session. Assistant Chief Coroner Ed Winter said Lohan arrived "real early" last Friday, completed her orientation and was put to work before 8 a.m. She had been ordered to report at the coroner's facilities at 7 a.m., but Lohan's publicist, Steve Honig, wrote in an email that the actress had been outside for more than an hour before it opened. Lohan must complete 16 hours of custodial work at the morgue before a November 2nd court hearing (she made it). She will be expected to mop floors, clean and stock bathrooms, and wash dirty sheets, coroner's officials have said. Superior Court Judge Stephanie Sautner revoked Lohan's probation during a contentious court hearing Wednesday after the judge learned the "Mean Girls" star had been fired from doing community service at a women's shelter. Then again, do you REALLY want Lindsay giving help and/or advice to women in need? I’d keep her cleaning up after dead people too… and we used to be tight. Anyway, Sautner ordered Lohan to complete 360 hours at the center and 120 hours at the morgue in April as punishment for taking a $2,500 necklace without permission (it’s called theft where I come from). Lohan later pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor charge related to the necklace and served 35 days on house arrest. It is Lohan's second time doing service at the morgue — she initially completed a program there after a pair of drunken driving arrests in 2007. She has consistently struggled with completing the terms of her sentence. However, she’s also lined up a new gig - as a Playboy girl. LiLo is posing for Hugh Hefner's Playboy magazine, a source told Access Hollywood. The source told Access Lohan is disrobing for the spread, which is being shot this week in LA. When contacted by Access, a rep for the actress said, "I cannot confirm at this time." A spokesperson for Playboy also had no comment on the report. According to TMZ, Playboy reportedly offered the actress $750,000 to strip down. SOLD!!! Oh wait, play it tough. (clear throat) However, she countered, asking for a million dollar payday. While the magazine would not cough up $1 million, they did reportedly come up from their original offer, which was enough to get the deal done ($750,001?). So they can neither confirm nor deny anything… so chances are you’ll be seeing LiLo’s Huhu before too long… and for half of Hollywood, you’ll be seeing it again. I blame her parents… and the Media… and Hollywood… and alcohol… and drugs… and her… and me… and you… and Herbie the love bug… at all had a part to play I’m sure. Then again, as mentioned in my roommates’ Terminator marathon the other night, there’s no fate but what we make for ourselves. Ah to be a soldier from the future sent back through time to save Lindsay’s future… and yeah, I’d probably impregnate her in the Tiki Motel & our son would lead the revolution… but more importantly she wouldn’t be snort coke of a bathroom countertop at Tech Noir on Peco. What? The new Playboy’s out? Excuse me…

Wait, before I do that, thanks for reading… and I guess I’ll see ya soon. We’re getting internet again. YAAAAY!!! Have a great day everybody!!!

1 comment:

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