Monday, December 6, 2010

Wurst Case Scenario

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

My weekend was full of football, laundry & cleaning… and slushy snow… and I watched “Scrooged” with the roommate (holiday classic). Oh… and I was also checking into apartment pricing in San Francisco… and then I shat myself with shock… and then looked some more… and I’m getting really excited about the possibility of moving to San Francisco. However, nothing really new since the last update with regards to the job opportunity details. They want to interview me obviously (because they probably had the same reaction to my amazing resume as I did with their housing prices) but that’s as far as I’ve heard. Everybody thinks that it’s a good idea if the circumstances are right… even my dad’s lightening up to the idea (probably because I told him that others were willing to help me move & I reminded him that there’s really only two large pieces of furniture that I move now (my couch & an oak dresser… and even that isn’t bad). By the way, how about that Las Vegas Bowl matchup? Utah against Boise State!!! That should be a great game… in Vegas… but alas, the bowl game that I’m REALLY considering going to… is the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl at AT&T Park in San Francisco (where the world champion Giants play) where Nevada’s playing Boston College. We’ll have to wait until I know the situation with regards to… well, everything… but I’ll be sure to keep you posted on that.

The other night, I finally watched “Jonah Hex” starring Josh Brolin, Megan Fox & John Malkovich. It only lasted one week in theatres… and I had other plans already… so I missed out on the theatre experience. I’m glad that I did… because the movie was pretty f**king lame. For those who don’t remember, it’s the story (loosely) based on the DC Comic of a former civil war vet named Jonah Hex (Brolin) whose family is burned alive in front of him by a vengeful Confederate general Quentin Turnbull (Malkovich) & he also brands Hex’s face as a memento of the occasion. While left for dead, Hex is found by Crow Indians and brought back to life… and apparently has the superpower to talk to dead people (I guess it has its utility) and he searches the Old West seeking vengeance… but then Turnbull dies… so now he’s a bounty hunter. With me so far? Okay, long story short, inexplicably there’s a superhot prostitute (Fox) who is smitten with Hex… and then they found out that Turnbull isn’t dead… and in fact, he putting together this ultimate weapon made by Eli Whitney (yes, the cotton gin guy) to destroy the North… and so President Grant (Aidan Quinn) employs the services of Jonah to save America. Now, it was definitely better than “Wild Wild West” but had eerie similarities to the overall feel… but with a dash of lots of violence (though PG-13 for the kiddies), writing from the guys who brought you “Crank” and just… a lot of loop holes. Malkovich was pretty creepy as the bad guy (as he usually is) but even then it was… I don’t know, it seemed wasted… like when you see Sir Ben Kingsley in these video game adaptation movies like “Bloodrayne” or something. Josh Brolin was okay given the material (I’m sure direction was “you’re angry… aaaand… action!”) and God bless her, for her four minutes of screen time even Megan Fox did okay… given the fact that she was playing a prostitute in love with a heartless bounty hunter. Eh, it only wasted about 80 minutes of my life… and I got to see Megan Fox in a corset for a few minutes. It could’ve been worse. Now for some news…

Cash Update - "The Man in Black" was dressed in blue as he rehearsed for a 1969 concert at San Quentin. The embroidered blue jumpsuit that Johnny Cash wore to practice caused a bidding war during a memorabilia auction Sunday, bringing in nearly 10 times what was expected. The suit was expected to sell for $5,000, but was eventually claimed for $50,000 by a collector from Belgium, said Darren Julien, president and CEO of Julien's Auctions in Beverly Hills. He would not name the buyer. The auction of 321 lots sold for over $700,000, nearly twice what was expected, Julien said Monday. The late country singer was photographed in the suit giving a concert photographer "The Finger." Yes, THAT photo, which was also used in a 1998 Billboard magazine ad purchased by Cash's record company to sarcastically thank Nashville and country radio after he received a best country album Grammy for "Unchained." "Johnny Cash is highly collectible. He's got global appeal, especially for a country artist. He was the first country music artist who was collectible. He set the standard," Julien said. An international group of fans, collectors and investors took part in the auction, by phone or in person, he said. A poster announcing Cash's performance at the prison sold for $25,000, a 1968 passport for $21,875 and a Martin guitar for $50,000. A shirt made by Nudie Cohn and worn by Cash when he was grand marshal of the American Bicentennial Grand Parade in 1976 brought in $31,250 and a pair of Cash's knee-high boots sold for $21,875. Cash died in 2003 of complications from diabetes. Because he performed at prison so often and led a rather rowdy life early in his career, many people believed he served time in prison. He did not, although he battled drug addiction over the years and received a suspended jail sentence in 1965 on a misdemeanor narcotics charge in Texas. Pretty nice, huh? Also, in case I didn’t mention it earlier, Cash’d Out (the Johnny Cash tribute band) will be performing at the Knitting Factory in Reno this Friday. Tickets are on sale if you’re interested… and who knows? Maybe I’ll be bored and go since Bubbles won’t be coming until Saturday. She’s going to be my +1 to my company’s 1st anniversary gala on Sunday. Elegant evening attire, great coworkers, dancing at a very prestigious location & the best arm candy in the place… obviously not all women get to be that lucky, but then again… she’s a special woman in black… like a female Johnny Cash.

Advertising – This next one comes from friend of the blog Lilie who was apparently Christmas shopping when she stumbled on this gem. The holidays are a time for catching up with cousins, stuffing your face with food and, now, gratuitous lingerie. Canadian undergarment proprietor (how fancy does that sound?) La Senza is serving up the Cup Size Choir, a collection of lingerie-clad singers. Labeled A-G (for giggidy!), the high notes are based on the model's cup size. Don't expect any real-life Mariah Careys on here: The models got some serious help hitting the right note. The real goal obviously is to show off the lingerie, which happens every time you press a key, and the model sings as she sinks into her plush, velvety bed… you know, for demonstration purposes. The funky website currently has an automated version of "Deck the Halls," but the real fun is in making your own soundtrack by clicking on the keys and sharing your masterpiece with friends. "Jingle Bells" is cool, but if you can recreate the "Beverly Hills Cop" theme "Axel F" then you will be a golden God in my book. Anyway, feel free to give it a shot… and maybe find somebody for that special lady in your life.

German Repo - A German woman who splurged on breast implants with a loan from her then boyfriend now fears her assets could be re-possessed after she failed to fully reimburse him, the 20-year-old woman told Bild newspaper. Her ex-boyfriend is demanding that she return the 4,379 euros ($5,865) he gave her to pay for her breast enlargement surgery in 2009 or he'll call the police and get the repossessors involved, Bild reported on Wednesday. "It's true that Carsten signed a loan agreement shortly before the operation," the woman named only as Anastasia is quoted saying. "The condition was that I wouldn't have to pay him back if I stayed with him for a year." But the pair split shortly after she underwent the plastic surgery. The woman said she had transferred 3,000 euros into her ex-boyfriend's account last week (probably from her NEW boyfriend) but I guess this will be settled one way or another. The only question is… what exactly WOULD happen if they repossessed her breast implants? I mean… okay, she’s flatter again (which by the way, ladies, not that big of a deal) but… does the guy just get to keep the implants? Do they go back to the surgeon? Does the same surgeon have to be the one to remove them & then he’s reimbursed? I’m just curious about the whole logistics… and who benefits from it. Does the ex-boyfriend get money back? Does the surgeon for removing the implants? Does a notary have to present for the surgery? If so, sign me up for notary duty…

Wurst Case Scenario – Also in Germany, a small-town butcher said on Monday he faces steep bills after a wild boar tore through his shop in an hour-long rampage but will at least recover some of his losses by selling slices of the slain beast. The boar wandered out of a nearby forest and into the shop and caused about 5,000 euros ($6,600) in damage before being shot by a Jaegermeister (local master hunter), butcher Rainer Kraemer told Reuters. "Insurance covers theft and fire, but the butcher shop isn't covered for a wild boar attack," said Kraemer, whose shop is in the town of Hoehr-Grenzhausen near the western city of Koblenz. The 130-kg (290 lbs) boar will only fetch about 400 euros in ham and wurst sales after Kraemer finishes carving it up… but hey, it’s better than nothing. Luckily, there was only one customer in the store during the attack who escaped with only a minor injury. "Once the boar pushed through the door, I quickly helped the customer out of store and then went to try to guard the production equipment," said Kraemer. He and a sales clerk were unhurt in the rampage but unable to stop the boar. It sounds like something out of a Grimm Brothers tale, right? Like there should be a moral at the end like, “Don’t be a glutton in a house of gluttony, otherwise you’ll be on the menu” or something like that. I don’t know, maybe I’m just weird.

Political Satire Gold - "Austin Powers" and "Meet the Parents" director Jay Roach is set to direct a politically themed comedy which Warner Bros. Pictures just won the rights to reports Deadline. Zach Galifianakis (“The Hangover” & “Due Date”) and Will Ferrell (“Anchorman” & “The Other Guys”) are attached to the film in which the pair would go head-to-head as political rivals hoping to become presidential candidates. I would expect a lot of personal attacks (“You look like a fat Jesus!” “Yeah, well at least I wasn’t in Land of the Lost!!! That movie was an abortion of cinema!” “YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!”). Further details aren't forthcoming, but it is known that Chris Henchy ("The Other Guys") and Shawn Harwell ("Eastbound and Down") will pen the script. Roach, who directed the award-winning HBO political dramedy "Recount", hopes to get the film in theatres around the time of the 2012 political election. Roach, Galifianakis, Ferrell and Adam McKay (“Step Brothers”) will produce. Sounds like it has great comedic potential… so we shall see. Will it beat out “Head of State” for my highly coveted Presidential Movie List Gold Medal? Only time will tell… but they’re off to a great start.

MACHETE KILLS!!! - The end credits of "Machete" said the character will return in a sequel called "Machete Kills" and everybody took it as an ode to the somewhat campy grindhouse movies that it was based on (like “Shaft’s Big Score”, etc). However, in a recent red carpet interview via Bloody Disgusting, titular star Danny Trejo says things are further along on a potential sequel to the film than you might expect: "I asked (Robert Rodriguez) when he was going to write it and he says it's written, so we can get started pretty quick. We went all over the world with that movie and people kept having me sign these Machete action figures, it was a lot of fun. I don't even think Robert Rodriguez even expected that reception and now everyone is waiting for Machete Kills so hurry up Robert Rodriguez!" says Trejo (who really wants another big paycheck). Rodriguez has hinted before (in the same end credits) of a film trilogy with the third being titled "Machete Kills Again". Well, I’d watch them. I’m already anxiously awaiting the Blu Ray release of Machete… and the greenlighting of “Werewolf Women of the SS” but I’m pretty sure that Machete’s going to happen first.

Well, that’ll do it for today. Again, not a whole lot going on in my world other than the possibility of relocating yet again… but it’s still the early stages of that hypothetical transition. I should know more in the next few days… but in the meantime, have a great night everybody!!!

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