Christmas 2010

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Just taking a quick break from packing, rearranging, and evaluating what I need to survive... and all the piles of other sh*t that I have. Don't worry, I'm not going to go into another "Into The Wild" kind of rant like I've done many times before (though it's still always in the back of my mind) but instead I'll just say that I probably have the heart of a noble gypsy... and talk about the wonderful week back in Utah for the holidays. And a he' he' go...

Thursday - Christmas Eve Eve

Spent the night at a hotel in Reno so that I wouldn't have to worry about driving in the morning, any possible "surprise six" storms or anything like that... and it worked out perfectly. The place even had a complimentary hotel shuttle, breakfast, and a fantastic front desk agent who I chatted with about the area. Great guy... but yeah, nothing major. Watched some football & some bits of movies like "Gremlins" and "A Few Good Men" flipping through the channels. Yawn... slept like a baby...

Friday - Christmas Eve

Early morning flight, got to Utah around noon, stepmom picked me up, did some present wrapping, went to my stepfamily's annual Christmas party... and my favorite part about it really... is they have all the kids dress up in bathrobes and angel costumes and stuff... and do a quick Nativity Scene while grandpa reads the passage from the Bible about it & the kids dress as Mary, Joseph, the wisemen, angels, farm animals (sometimes) and of course, baby Jesus... and I've really liked it that the past few years, thanks to adoption... we've had a beautiful black baby Jesus... and I think that's awesome for a Mormon family to see. I'm easily amused. Anyway, here are some pictures...

Spent the night at my brother's house so that we could do the early morning kid thing with the niece & nephew (and my mom was graciously invited to give them gifts for an hour by my brother... douche) but yeah... the kids were excited that Uncle $teve would get to sleep in their room with them (on a blow up twin sized mattress).

Satuday - Christmas

Was awoken by my niece Kairi yelling "Uncle $teve, wake up, it's Christmas!!!" and then jumping on me as I lay in bed... quickly followed by my nephew Vinny yelling excited gibberish (or maybe I was just groggy) so I got up and we went to open presents. Seriously, cutest kids in the world... no disrespect to other kids out there... but seriously... just look at 'em...

"I'll never join you! You killed my father!"

"No Vinny... I... AM... your father."

"NOOOOOOOO!!!"

After a few hours, we then headed to my dad's Chrstmas morning in Slick City, opened some presents, had some breakfast, good times...

My dad likes guns...

and this could be incriminating at some time...

Vinny's present was a nerf gun bigger than him...

This picture was taken moments before

Uncle $teve got shot in the groin

After a few hours there, I then drove up to my mom's house for even more presents, and hanging with my mom, stepdad, Aunt Pat, & Alicia... and of course Kiel stook around for a while trying to cause a fight & being grumpy the whole time... because he's a douche... but whatever... his issues. We all had fun in spite of him... and that probably pissed him off even more. Played this stupid dice game called Farkle... and that's all I have to say about that (even won once... but yeah, lame). Elefun with the kids was even better. Slept beneath my old bedroom set with all the mirrors (stashed at my mom's until I stop being such a gypsy) so that was cool.

It's a sanitizing wand... get your mind out of the gutter

Sunday

Spent the morning hanging out with my mom... and then went to my brother's (aunt's really... but that's where he's staying while his condo is being remodeled) and hung out with the kids for the day. I don't understand why... but we were having a lot of fun... and he just likes yelling at the kids for being kids sometimes. Especially while he's just sitting playing video games. "QUIET!!! I can't hear the TV" and fully forgetting that I'm in the room playing with them making sure they're not breaking stuff. I hate to dwell on the douchiness of my brother sometimes... but it's just so constant. So why spend time with him? Same reason as everybody else...

That night, we met up with my dad... and went to see "Tron: Legacy" in IMAX 3D... and it was AWESOME!!! I highly recommend it. Spent the night at my dad's... but then realized that I left one of my suitcases at my brother's... so I knew that I'd probably end up spending the next day there when I went to pick it up.

Monday

Left around noonish (nobody at dad's home anyway) and hung out with my brother for the day. Not a whole lot going on other than he had the balls to show me his condo that's being remodeled... and all the stuff that's being added (jetted tub, built-in surround sound, new appliances, etc) and I basically wanted to punch him in the dick for about an hour... but whatever... apparently being a douche has its benefits. That night, we watched "Inception" another great flick that I highly recommend. I mean... it won the $tevie in my last entry.

Tuesday

Met up with K-Fish to go see Snow Basin and have some lunch at the Needles Restaurant at the summit... and it was some great Wiener Schnitzel with Spaetzle. Funny thing, though I lived within a half hour of Snow Basin for the VAST majority of my life... I had never gone up there before. Pretty sweet.

That night, I met up with Lilie, her fiance Kyle, A-Lo, Bubbles & JL Clyde for some sushi at Simply Sushi... and we just had a great old time catching up on eachother's lives... and then A-Lo, Bubbles & I went to Gracie's for some drinks. I did enjoy how all the guys were hitting on the two lovely ladies with me... but then they'd ask my relation to them... and they would respond with "He's our pimp" and trust me... these guys couldn't afford what these girls are worth on any level. Thanks ladies.

Wednesday

Spent the day with my dad watching movies like "The Expendables" and "Transporter 3" and just having a good old time, ordering a pizza for lunch & what have you. Then he took me to the airport as a blizzard was forming... but there's a good thing that came out of this airport visit. I tried something crafty... and it worked beautifully. So, I was in the security line... and there was a VERY cute redhead TSA agent giving patdowns... but to the ladies. There was a dude in his forties patting the gentlemen... so I thought I'd try something. My turn came up... I went through the little scanner cylinder thing... and as I came out, he said he was going to pat me down, so I said, "Well, I think it'd be more comfortable for both of us if somebody else did." "What do you mean?" "Well... let me put it this way, I'm moving to San Francisco in a week... but if you're comfortable with it, I am." Apparently he wasn't comfortable with it... so then he asked the cute redhead to step in (as I tried not to smile). Arms out to the sides, she checks my ribs for... not sure what exactly, gun holsters? Then she says, "I'm going to check your backside if that's alright." "Absolutely. Safety first." So she does a quick glide over my back & buttocks, no real groping... but whatever, her loss. She gave me a smile, said I was good to go, and then asked, "You're not gay, are you?" "I'm very happy. On behalf of all of us, thank you for keeping the skies safe. Happy holidays!" and walked off. So the playing "the gay card" apparently does work... but the best part was... I didn't have to lie to play it. My comfort level would've increased getting groped by a cute redhead as opposed to a middle aged dude. I am moving to San Francisco in a week. I was also very happy afterwards.

After that, it was a lot of delays, a few drinks at the bar, a chat with a lady with an English accent on her way to Boise & moving to Scottsdale (we chatted for about a half hour), sitting in a parked airplane for about two hours before take-off, an hour flight, waiting for another hour for my luggage, and then finding the city of Reno had been converted to an ice skating rink the night before... and after nearly getting hit by a sliding semi truck... while inside a sliding taxi van... I figured that the best idea was to stay at the hotel until morning when hopefully the roads would be a little clearer. It was late anyway.

Since then I've just been catching up at work (last week starting Monday), packing up for the move & making arrangements, and my New Year's Eve was kinda lame (just like last year) but whatever... just means a new year number on my checks.

That was my Christmas holiday, hope you all enjoyed. Really excited about this new adventure to San Francisco... and I have a lot of sh*t to move / give away in a week or so's time. Have a great night everybody!!!

2010 $tevie Awards

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Christmas was amazing… but it’ll take me a while to post pictures because… as you may have heard, I’m moving again in a week or so… and have plenty of packing to do. Let’s just say that for the time being that I got to spend time with my mom, dad, brother, nieces, nephews, friends like Lilie, Bubbles, JL Clyde, A-Lo and I even got to see a few movies… oh and got a few presents too. Mostly clothes, which is exactly what I was hoping for. Anyway, I give to you…

The 2010 $tevies

Back by popular demand, it's the 4th Annual $tevie Awards…with your host, $teve. Based on something sent to my MySpace account a few years back (yes, MySpace). Once again, just because you're not mentioned in the $tevies doesn't mean that I don't care about you. It's simply some stupid stuff that I threw together to kind of sum up the year…and feel free to check out the numerous links to past entries to keep yourself entertained & reminisce about the year that was. So without further ado, this year's winners are...

DRINKING BUDDY OF THE YEAR: Bubbles - Four-time winner of this award & inaugural member of the $tevie Hall of Fame. Let’s see, this year included a night on the town in Vegas, a few weekends in San Francisco, a few weekends in Tahoe, some Christmas drinks in Utah… and we may be living in the same town for the first time in almost three years. I’d better watch myself as I have a history of alcoholism in my family… and Ottawa blood. Not the best combination. An honorable mention goes to my roommate W, who was always down for a few drinks… maybe even a little too much because he stole a few bottles the first month he was living with me. So we had the talk and we haven’t had a problem since. That guy can drink though. I don’t even try to keep up with him. By the way, he just had his 35th birthday last week. He got pissy and was in bed by 7 PM… no joke. Ah well, he’s a good dude.

LIFETIME SERVICE AWARD (longest friend): Isaiah - Another four-time winner & inductee to the Hall of Fame. He let my brother stay with him for a few weeks & I’m forever indebted to him for that… but because we’re old friends, his response was basically “Dude, you’ve been there for me over the years. It was about time that I paid you back.” Thanks bro. I guess he does remember the money that I’ve loaned him over the years… which is good, because I could REALLY use that many right about now. I’m still gonna give you sh*t for being 30 for the next few months too. I’ve gotta live it up while I can. Honorable mention here goes to his little brother Spitsofrantic who's been a friend just about as long. Twenty plus years.

NEWCOMER AWARD: Roommates – It was Z through the summer and then W for the past few months… but yeah, lots of good times watching football, movies, going out for a few drinks at the bar, playing softball, home cooked dinners, all that good stuff. The only downside was that they were basically the only two guys over the course of this year that I hung out with on a fairly regular basis… and even then it wasn’t like we were painting the town red… but hey, as far as newcomers when I’m going to be thirty in a matter of months, you really can’t ask for better roommates. Congratulations gentlemen!!!

HIGH POINT OF THE YEAR: 4th of July Weekend – This whole year was pretty amazing out here in Tahoe. Sure, the winter wasn’t the greatest but it was still beautiful and I always seemed to find something to do. The Road Trip during my unemployment stint was absolutely amazing… and I got to see just about everybody during that three-week adventure. Many a road trip followed to Yosemite, Lassen National Park, my new home of 2011 San Francisco, even Halloween in New Orleans and a few quick trips back home to Utah… and Christmas is always a lot of fun for me… but probably my high point was when my dad, stepmom, and my stepsister’s family all came together for 4th of July weekend. I got to spend time with those that I love, we had lots of fun with fireworks & festivities in Virginia City, made a nice road trip out to San Francisco to spend a day or so there taking in the sights, even got to meet up with Bubbles for a few drinks, and I think that trip is pretty much when I became my niece Hallee’s favorite uncle. I’m really going to miss being away from her and my nephews… but I didn’t get to see them more than a few times when I was living an hour or so away. I’m sure they’ll come visit… and I’ll be sure to visit them when I’m in town too. We can always meet up with our boats and head out onto the lake for next 4th of July weekend.

LOW POINT OF THE YEAR: My Brother’s Issues – My brother has some anger issues… and maturity issues… and has just been given everything that he’s ever wanted without having to earn it… and then he likes to talk to me about how horrible his life is… because he apparently can’t play video games all day or something. I love my brother. I really do. He knows that I’m there to help him. However, it’s VERY difficult to take anything he says seriously… even if he means it with all of his heart… because he’s a stubborn jackass most of the time and his logic is flawed. The real low point was when he was calling me from the county jail (collect though the phone company wouldn’t let me answer for some reason) and when I found out why he was there… I honestly wanted him to stay there for a while. I know, it’s an evil thought… but he really did deserve it. Nobody touches my mother. Regardless, I just hope that he wises the f**k up and quit biting the hands that are feeding him and have supported him his entire life… and quit being such a douche to every single person that he comes into contact with. Not sure exactly how he got to be that way… and I’m such a nice charming fellow… but I’m sure it has something to do with recessive genes or something. I love you, bro…

BEST HOLIDAY: Christmas – Another regular award-winner. You may be asking yourself, “Why is this best holiday when you said high point was 4th of July Weekend?” You want me to repeat myself? I ramble enough as it is. Christmas is usually one of my favorite times of year anyway, but this year was good because of the usual reasons – Family, Friends, Traditions, all that lovey dovey stuff. Of course we also had a few libations along the way. I’ll elaborate a little more on this one in a future post with pictures… but yeah, great times.

SONG FOR 2010: “F**k You” by Cee-Lo – Look… the only CD’s I’ve bought this year is from the band Albino & Johnny Aloha (a.k.a. Richard Cheese) so either it was going to be a funky afro-beat song you’ve never heard of… a version of a Weezer song done with a ukulele… or this smooth soul hit that got some serious internet buzz, but I really liked it. What were my other choices this year? All I hear about it Justin Bieber & Lady Gaga (pass…) and I haven’t heard any new Kanye. Throw in a few Johnny Cash & Led Zeppelin cover bands and that’s pretty much my year. Music’s obviously a big part of my life… but most new music sucks. There, I said it… but luckily I’m moving to a city where there’s music EVERYWHERE!!! Albino plays every few weeks, plenty of bars in the area have entertainment, people sing down by the Wharf, Otis Redding’s ghost haunts the bay, I’ll be okay.

MOVIE FOR 2010: Inception – Finally watched this one over the Christmas holiday… and it’s pretty damn good. The only problem was that I watched the first half-hour or so with my niece & nephew wanting to play… and I can never turn them down, so I had my brother catch me up once or twice after they were put to bed. Anyway, great cast, unusual premise, great flick, it seems that Christopher Nolan & Quentin Tarantino always seems to win these things… but I’d like to give a special shout-out to “Tron: Legacy” starring Jeff Bridges as the Digital Dude & Garrett Hedlund (“Four Brothers”) which I was in IMAX 3D and it was pretty good as well. “Machete” was EXTREMELY close to winning it this year… but it’s okay… because he’s apparently coming back for a sequel.

VIDEO GAME FOR 2010: Madden NFL 11 – It’s the only one that I bought this year. It had no competition. Video games aren’t as big a thing as they used to be. I hardly ever play them anymore. My Rock Band guitar broke (and there’s nobody to play with in Tahoe anyway). I’m sure if I find the right living situation with roommates though… Rock Band may get back into the winner column… but this year, there is a new champion… and it’s the Philadelphia Eagles with MVP (Michael Vick Playaaaa…). I also bought a 3D Batman game the other day... but have yet to play it. Just imagine it on the big projector screen. It should be epic.

TV SHOW FOR 2010: Blue Mountain State – Though Dollhouse is no longer with us, I actually really like this blatantly offensive show about a college football team on Spike TV. It’s genuinely funny… and the use of hot college girls is truly commendable. The League should also get recognition because it also has to do with football (sorta) and is a hilarious show. I’m also glad that Conan O’Brien’s back on the air after that circle jerk… and my favorite news programs, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart & The Colbert Report. If it weren’t for the host getting on my nerves from time to time, Ghost Adventures would probably be higher on the list too… but alas. Also, as you know, I’m a fan of other TV shows that I’ve only recently caught up on like Supernatural, Dexter, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Chuck and of course the usual gaggle of adult cartoons & It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

WHO DID YOU SPEND VALENTINES WITH: Old Sac – Yeah, I definitely gotta do better with regards to Valentine’s Day celebrations. This last year, I went to Sacramento for the first time, had some decent soul food, wandered around Old Sacramento & defended the honor of two ladies from a gaggle of douches… but spent my night alone once again. Who knows? Maybe 2011 will be the year that I have someone special to Love on February 14th. I’ve got a little over six weeks to make it happen. Chop chop…

BEST RELATIONSHIP: Gretchen – It’s also kinda sad that probably the best relationship I’ve had this year was with my Jeep… but hey, she’s the only one that would go on these romantic road trips with me. Not only were we there for each other during the frozen winter of the Sierras… but we took time to see all of the Tahoe area, Sacramento, a few trips to San Francisco, Half Moon Bay, Monterey, Hearst Castle, Los Angeles, Newport Coast, Las Vegas, Cedar City, Slick City, Yosemite, Lassen National Park, many trips to Reno (for affordable groceries & fun), and with moving to the Golden Coast… you can bet your sweet bippy there are plenty more in store. I’m thinking a few trips north along the coast to the Redwoods and Seattle might be cool. I’ll be sure to keep you posted.

HALLOWEEN COSTUME: Waldeaux – Yes, it took me a while to post the pictures of my Halloween adventure to New Orleans… but admit it, they were worth the wait. The old school “Where’s Waldo?” with a Big Easy twist, Waldeaux is by far the sexiest version yet… and at least two ladies from Texas agree. It may be my costume next year too. You never know. I get really lazy sometimes… then again, hearing drunk people yell out “HEY WALDO!!! I FOUND YOU, MAN!!!” gets old after a few hours.

RESTAURANT OF THE YEAR: Hiro’s Sushi – All you can eat sushi across the street from Kings Beach on Lake Tahoe… and less than $25. You can’t go wrong. Pretty good service too… and half price on food if you eat at the bar. Twist my arm… big thanks to JL Clyde for suggesting it.

BOOK OF THE YEAR: The Twilight Saga by Stephanie Meyers – Okay, you know that I will hopefully never be forced to watch the movies or read the angsty teenage crap that these books represent… but then you may be asking, “Why would you even mention it?” Okay, so last week, my brother calls me for the first time in like a week… and he starts out by saying, “Dude! I watched the worst movie EVER… and I just had to call you and tell you about it.” So then he goes on for (I sh*t you not) 45 minutes about how stupid the 2nd Twilight movie is (New Moon?) and how the vampires aren’t vampires… and the werewolves aren’t werewolves, they’re guys who turn into dogs… and I forget how he told it to me, but because I deduced that the girl Bella is immune to their powers because she has no soul (I stand by my statement). Anyway, the best part is… the next day, he calls me up again… and tells me that he not only rewatched the first movie… but watched number two… and number three… and then talked again for about 45 minutes about how stupid they all were. “Then why the hell did you watch them?” He never really gave me an excuse, just went on talking about how bad they were & how he would’ve changed it. Oh the story still isn’t over. The next day, my dad called… and he had just spent the day with my brother because he had the day off. I chatted with my dad about football and whatever else like we usually do… and then he talked about hanging out with Kiel & the kids… and I just had to ask, “Hey… ugh… did he happen to mention any movies that he say recently?” “YEAH!!! He talked with me for about an hour about that Twilight stuff that (my stepmom) hates… and I was just like… if it’s so bad, why did you watch ALL OF THEM??? I think he’s turning into a desperate housewife, son.” I would have to agree. So anyway, I didn’t really read anything this year, so instead I give you a story.

BEST DECISION MADE THIS YEAR: Coming to Tahoe, then Moving On – I know my big decision last year was pestering Tahoe to get out here… and now it’s a year later & I’m looking to get out… but yeah, this year has been absolutely amazing. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed myself & had some amazing adventures… but as mentioned a few times before, I just don’t think I can take the winters here right now when I’m already feeling kind of lonely & isolated. So with that in mind, I’m moving on… and that takes me ever westward along I-80 to San Francisco. Basically, if I feel lonely & isolated there… then it’s just something genuinely wrong with me… because it’ll be something like 50,000 people per square mile instead of the… I don’t know, 5 people per square mile that it is here. I really do think that it’ll be a great move for me… both personally & professionally. I really do want to crack down and get back to working out a bit… and learning Spanish & Mandarin like I said that I would two years ago (once I get Rosetta Stone working on my POS computer… and it’s not like I don’t have plenty of opportunity to practice in the Mission or Chinatown) and just getting out there and have fun too. I’m sure that Bubbles will help me break out of my little shell. It’s going to be another amazing year in the City.

PLANS FOR NEXT YEAR: Live, Love & Grow Each Day – Simple, right? I just have to make sure that I’m not wasting away my talents and this wonderful life and opportunities that I have been given. It’s so simple… and yet sometimes I still feel like I’m not doing enough… but hey, it’ll really help when I’m able to go outside year-round and there are plenty of people to spend my precious time with & help others. True, it’s pretty much my own fault that I feel unfulfilled and that I’m not doing enough… but I just have to focus & work hard so as not to feel that way. When I’m feeling bored & complacent, maybe that’s just a sign that I need to get off my ass and do something… even if it’s just go for a jog around on the beach or get on the computer and learn how to order dumplings authentically in Chinatown. Who knows? Maybe my journey will continue westward into the Far East when it’s all said & done… but that’s a LONG drive in a moving van. The possibilities are endless though. That’s all I’m saying. I just can’t be afraid of success.

STUPIDEST IDEA WHEN DRUNK: N/A – Didn’t really do anything too stupid this past year while drunk. It never affected my softball playing because I wasn’t that good anyway. Hell, it probably helped. Never drove under the influence, and I have the warning after getting a lot of sobriety tests after the Zepparella concert with Pork Chop to prove it. Halloween was surprisingly tame with regards to “the morning after” and I just had a pretty good buzz the entire week… but the worst that can come from that was… maybe karaoke? Singing “I Believe in a Thing Called Love” by the Darkness? No, that was still amazing. Maybe I said some things that probably weren’t the best idea… but it was just me being honest & open with friends, family & loved ones… and that’s how I am normally. I’m sure there will be plenty of opportunities for mechanical bulls, tranny prostitutes, getting lost in the wee hours of the morning, maybe even a walk of shame or two in the upcoming year with a trip to Vegas with the Wingman, 30th birthday cruise in April and just general fun & craziness when I’m living in the City with Bubbles nearby. I’ll be sure to keep you posted… and what I can’t remember… there’s always the police report & eyewitness accounts to fill in the blanks. “Dude, where’s my car?” “Where’s your car, dude?”

BIGGEST CHANGE OF THE YEAR: All of the Above – Just another big year of changes and it seems like that’s all I’ve been doing for a while is adapting. I know my address hasn’t technically changed yet this fiscal year… but yeah, it’s changing yet again. Whether it’s learning new surroundings, setting up residency & utilities there, my family changing every day, my niece & nephew getting bigger by the hour, friends moving all over the place, getting married, having kids of their own, losing jobs, moving to get jobs, getting sick or hurt, major changes all over the place…but hey, that’s the one constant, right? It’s all quite exciting. Frustrating at times…but exciting none the less. The key is just to learn & grow with the changes… and I can’t tell you how excited I am about the possibilities of the Bay Area.

BIGGEST DOUCHEBAG AWARD: BP & GOP – It’s tough for me to decide… but if I had to go with one personification this year (besides my brother) then I would have to go with Tony Hayward, CEO of BP. Sure, it’s not his fault specifically that the pipe burst and flooded the Gulf of Mexico with oil… and you almost had to feel bad for him when he’s on national TV apologizing… but then you remember that he’s a douche and he deserves all the criticism he gets. As for the GOP, I commend them in finding all the loopholes to get whatever the f**k they want done in congress (as opposed to the Bush years when they just did whatever they wanted), but seriously? Do something besides b**ch about nothing & let’s get this nation back on track. Then again, if you all want to suffocate the country into the next Great Depression, may you all die of syphilis. God bless.

THREE YEARS AGO’S NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS UPDATE:

• Travel more... or at least as much – You know that’s true
• Find a good girl who likes me too – I’m at least going somewhere they’re single
• Have more sex... preferably with a woman nearby - Sigh...
• Pursue another part-time job... maybe as a late night radio DJ - I’m still thinking Handsome Companion has some potential
• Play more basketball. I miss our times together – Did shoot a lot of hoops in the summer, but the team thing fell apart. Maybe I can get in on a San Fran recreation league
• Give more to charity & donate time, blood, plasma, sperm, hair, feces, whatever they'll take – A few jackets at a clothing drive and change at convenience stores… but there are Red Crosses in San Fran, I’m sure… so back to giving for others
• Dance more... preferably with a woman nearby – The Gala was amazing… and I finally taught Bubbles how to Cha Cha
• Swear less (now that my nieces & nephews are getting spongier) – They ain’t learning it from me but they’re great kids, miss them tons
• Should I swear off Mountain Dew? – Drinking much more juice and water than Mountain Dew now
• Nah, maybe just eat healthier...or cook more – Definitely cooking more
• Remember JJ – She’s officially married… and she has a blog now too… I inspired her
• Smack more asses (a.k.a. More forward with the opposite sex) - I've smacked a few asses this year…and had them returned
• Drive my Baby more – My buddy Chris will send me pictures of her from Utah once in a while… and it tears my heart
• Most importantly, make sure everybody out there knows how much I love & care for them - You all know, right?
  
  TWO YEARS AGO’S RESOLUTIONS
  
• Make Denver my new home – F**k Denver!!! The office went straight downhill since I left…
• Find that Love I've been looking for – Still looking…
• Progress in my job & learn everything about the industry – I was a Jack-of-all-trades this last year
• Don't Settle for Mediocrity – Well, Tahoe is beyond mediocre, that’s for sure
• Learn another language (Spanish or Mandarin…to go along with English & German) – Couldn’t get Rosetta Stone to work on my computer… but soon I may be able to afford a new one
• Renew my Passport…and use it – Renewed but not used… but I’ve got the cruise in early May
• Get my body ripped… like Jesus – Not quite there… but not too bad, if I say so myself
• Movie Nights with neighbors and new friends in Denver – (clear throat) F**K… DENVER!!!
• Play in a Recreational Basketball League – Didn’t happen… but I did play in a softball league
• Make sure everybody out there knows how much I love & care for them STILL!!!
  
  LAST YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS
  
• Make the Truckee / Tahoe / Reno area my new home (jinx) – Yeah… I guess I did jinx it…
• Live Frugally, Yet Well – Had to just to survive… but dang did I do it well
• Stay in Touch – Ugh… yeah, I’ve been doing that via technology & road trips
• Birthday Roadtrip – HELL YEAH!!! Got the big birthday bash on a boat in a few months to follow it
• Progress in my Career, Not Just Settle for What’s Given – Learned a lot… but wasn’t going anywhere
• Basically all the stuff I said in previous years that I haven’t yet done – Hence why I update this list just about every year
  
  THIS YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS
  
• Basically it’s all the above stuff
  
  

So yeah, it’s been a fantastic year… and I’m hella excited about what 2011 has in store. Gonna go check out a Journey cover band tonight… and brave sub-zero temperatures (no joke) and then spend a three-day weekend packing up for the big move, then four days of work… and then I’m officially starting the transition to a resident of San Francisco. Yeah… just a week away. Are you nervous? I am a little bit… but it’ll be a fantastic change for me. I can feel it. Good vibrations and all that. I hope that you all have had a wonderful year as well… and I wish you all nothing but the best for 2011. Have a great year everybody!!!

Sexy Evil Genius

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Still just doing a lot of research and packing… and yesterday was my roommate’s birthday, and Utah was destroyed by Boise State, so we had a few drinks… but because it was a school night, we were responsible. At work, we had a fantastic potluck for Christmas. My office can cook. I brought beverages. Didn’t want to show them up or anything, you know? It’s the gentleman in me. Other than that, not a whole lot going on. Leaving for Utah in the morning & I can’t wait to see the family and friends. Apparently my niece Kairi has been REALLY excited since she heard that I was visiting. She’s so damn cute. I can’t wait to show her (and Vinny) the beach, the bridges, the fish at the Aquarium, the city from Coit Tower, and all of the other sights of San Francisco when they come to visit. You know, since I didn’t get to show them Lake Tahoe in the year-plus that I was here. Oh well… I think she’ll like the City better anyway… she sees trees and mountains ALL the time.

The other night, I watched “Vanilla Sky” starring Tom Cruise, Penelope Cruz, Kurt Russell, Jason Lee & Cameron Diaz… and directed by Cameron Crowe (“Almost Famous”). When this movie came out, a LOT of people told me it sucked… and because I’ve never really been a huge Tom Cruise fan, I passed. Double passed in fact. It actually wasn’t half bad though. Okay, let me spill the story premise here. There’s this rich womanizer (Cruise) who has a kinda crazy stalker f**k buddy (Diaz) and a best buddy (Lee). Well, one day he’s throwing a party… and he meets this hot artist chick (Cruz) who he almost instantly falls for… and they share an incredible evening together (just talking and whatever, you know, like romances are supposed to start, right?). Anyway, the next morning, his stalker f**k buddy is waiting for him by his car, says she wants to talk, and long story short, she drives them off a bridge, killing herself & messing his face up pretty bad. He also starts to develop a serious problem where he can’t distinguish between real life & dreams (we’ve all been there, right?). He’s trying to has his life back together… but he can’t figure out exactly what’s going on… and apparently everybody is telling him that he killed somebody… and a psychiatrist (Russell) is helping him to unravel the mystery. Like I said, it’s actually wasn’t half bad. I’d recommend it if you get bored one evening… but it’s not a must see or anything, just a lot better than I expected… and I wanted to see how it ended. You know you watch some of these psychological thrillers and you couldn’t give two sh*ts how it ends… well, I wanted to see this one through. Here’s some news…

Online Flirting – Billy Shakespeare once asked, "Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?". Now, women of the world have replied: "No, just tell me I have beautiful lips." A new survey of online flirting by dating website Badoo.com has found that the best Internet chat-up line for men to use is: "You have beautiful lips." "We have found the Holy Grail of flirting," said Badoo Director of Marketing Lloyd Price. The site, which boasts 87 million registered users worldwide, analyzed the success rates of opening lines from nearly 200,000 online flirtations in 11 languages over the course of one month to come up with a "Compliment Success Index." Site users were invited to use one of 12 different chat-up lines. Each complimented an aspect of a woman's body or appearance. Researchers measured the success rate of each line in two ways: first, their success at prompting any response at all; second, their success at launching a longer conversation -- one going back and forth at least four times. Complimenting a woman's lips was the most successful overall, but other lines worked best in particular countries. American, French, Italian or Brazilian women were more responsive to "You dress beautifully." Brits preferred praise for their legs, Spaniards responded to compliments about their hair, while Germans and Canadians preferred skin praise. Dutch and Portuguese women liked: "You have beautiful ears." Jo Hemmings, a British behavioral psychologist said women responded best to compliments about their lips because it's a bold approach that seems more personal. "What many women want is for men to take the initiative and not be wishy-washy," Hemmings said in a statement accompanying the survey. "A lot of men on dating sites send a sort of generic message and women recognize something that hasn't been customized for them." David Givens, American author of the book, "Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship" said the results made sense because women focus a lot of attention on their lips. "From adolescence onwards, they cosmetically adorn their lips, applying lipstick and colors. They have been doing so since ancient Egypt." So there you go gentlemen… don’t be afraid to really compliment a woman. Let them know that you’ve fantasized about what their lips must taste like since the first moment you saw them… or that their legs remind you of the work of Michelangelo… or that you’d like to run your fingers through the waves of alabaster flowing from their scalp… but then again, maybe all it takes is a simple “You… have an amazing heinie. I want to be friends with it.” You know… for being a complete moron, Ron Burgundy certainly had a way with the ladies… and now you know why… and it’s not just his huge erection. “Don’t act like you’re not impressed.”

Slow Down! – Do women even know the powers that they have over us? Apparently so. We've all heard stories about people trying to sneak into the carpool lane with a "passenger" that can be made from cardboard or inflatable plastic… but the cops in the Czech Republic have been taking notes, it seems. Much like how you would distract your shoe-eating pooch with a "look over here!", police are posting cardboard cutouts of female officers to get drivers to slow down (or crash). Now, are drivers slowing down because they think there are cops in the road? Or is it because these "cops" happen to be wearing miniskirts? No, really: The Cutout Cops are wearing miniskirts. Who knew cops had such fun uniforms? Hey, if it works… you know I’m down with a lady cop… but I wonder if you’d get in trouble for taking one home. Do they have cameras or locators on the cutouts? Interesting approach…

Sexy Evil Genius - Katee Sackhoff ("Battlestar Galactica") is set to star in the dark indie comedy "Sexy Evil Genius" reports Heat Vision Blog. Sackhoff plays a woman who brings all of her ex-boyfriends together in a downtown Los Angeles bar. Over the course of the night she gets her revenge on some, rekindles romance with others, and solidifies her reputation as a Sexy Evil Genius. Sound like a stupid plot to you too? Good. That’s not why I’m mentioning it. I’m mentioning it… so that I can post a picture of two of Katee Sackhoff… and it has a pretty intriguing title… so purely for cover factor. Shawn Piller is directing from a script by Scott Lew. Lew is a quadriplegic, wheelchair-bound writer afflicted Lou Gehrig's disease and writes with an infrared dot that points to letters on a computer screen (now how do you feel?). Sackhoff will serve as a co-producer. Best of luck with this premise…

Neve Campbell Update – Recently single Neve Campbell is in negotiations to star in the Roland Joffe-directed drama "Singularity" says The Hollywood Reporter. The story takes place in 1778 and 2015 and involves intertwining souls, past lives and a ring. No, YOU sound like “The Fountain”! Josh Hartnett (“Pearl Harbor”) is playing two characters: an archeologist in 2015 who falls into a coma and a British captain in colonial India. Campbell will play Hartnett’s wife and fellow archeologist in 2015 who gets stuck in a sunken ship while trying to retrieve a ring (because she’s a moron). Shooting kicks off in Australia and India in January. Sound like a cheesy romantic flick? Yeah… probably… so here’s why I mentioned it…

Pretty Women – Here’s an interesting movie update. Christian Bale (“American Psycho” & “The Dark Knight”) will star in Chinese filmmaker Zhang Yimou's new project about 13 young prostitutes who help save compatriots from Japanese troops rampaging Nanjing, the latest film exploring a World War II-era atrocity that stirs nationalism in China. Bale, currently co-starring in the boxing drama "The Fighter" will portray an American priest in the movie, which is expected to start filming in Nanjing on January 10th, the Chinese director told reporters Wednesday. The film is an adaptation of a Chinese-language novel by contemporary writer Yan Geling about 13 sex workers in Nanjing who volunteered to replace university students as escorts for invading Japanese soldiers. In the novel, the American priest presides over a Catholic church that shelters a group of prostitutes and young female students during the invasion (holy pimp?). Historians say the massacre, known in the West as the "Rape of Nanking," resulted in the slaughter of at least 150,000 civilians. China puts the number killed at 300,000, making it one of the worst atrocities of the WWII era. Bale was picked because of his versatility and dedication to his roles, Zhang said, noting he was impressed by the research Bale did into the history of the massacre. "I gave him the names of some books that he should read about the Nanjing massacre," the director said. "When I went to see him, I saw those books were lying open on his table, and I was very touched." The $90 million production is slated for global release next December. It's being filmed with a mix of English and Chinese spoken. The book's title translates roughly as "The 13 Women of Nanjing" but the film is going by the working English title of "Nanjing Heroes." In making a movie about Japan's wartime atrocities in Nanjing, Zhang joins several others in exploring a sensitive topic that triggers nationalist sentiments in China. Other recently released films about the Japanese invasion include Lu Chuan's "City of Life and Death" and Florian Gallenberger's "John Rabe." Zhang said he hopes to bring a fresh approach to the topic in telling the story through a woman's perspective. He also hoped to enhance the foreign appeal by casting Bale, a Hollywood star who played Batman in "The Dark Knight." "We've made many, many Nanjing movies ... but they are mostly like we're talking to ourselves. A lot of young people in Western countries might not know about it," Zhang said. "So I think that perhaps by doing it this way... could let maybe 100 or 200 million young audiences watch this film and maybe then they'll know what happened in Nanjing in 1937." Zhang, whose credits include "Raise the Red Lantern" and "To Live," is of the first modern Chinese directors to make his name in the West. His recent releases include "A Simple Noodle Story," an adaptation of the Coen brothers' 1984 movie "Blood Simple," and "Under the Hawthorn Tree," a love story set in China's decade-long ultra-leftist Cultural Revolution. So yeah… I’m sure you’re all lining up to see the movie now. Nothing like a wartime atrocity film… but honestly, here’s one that even getting me more excited… because I’m simple.

Madden Curse Movie - Electronic Arts is developing "Madden Curse," a sports comedy feature that explores an infamous jinx that seems to strike NFL players who appear on the cover of EA's popular "Madden" video game series with career shortening injuries shortly after reports The Wrap. The story will follow a former Madden video game champion who is forced out of retirement just as he finds himself on the corner of the game's cover -- and subject to the curse (Favre?). NFL legend John Madden appeared on the cover of all Madden games until 1999. Since then annual cover boys have included 1999's Garrison Hearst (who then broke his fibula), 2000's Dorsey Levens (knee injury), 2001's Eddie George (general decline), 2002's Dante Culpepper (knee injury), 2003's Marshall Faulk (ankle injury), 2004's Michael Vick (broken leg & the whole dog fighting thing after), 2005's Ray Lewis (torn hamstring), 2006's Donovan McNabb (sports hernia), 2007's Shaun Alexander (broken foot), and 2008's Vince Young (quads & knee injury). 2009's Brett Favre so far seems to have survive unscathed injury-wise until last week, while 2010's dual cover stars Troy Polamalu and Larry Fitzgerald suffered a torn PCL and a rib injury respectively. All I’m saying is that 2011 cover boy Drew Brees had better watch himself against the Falcons this weekend. Pat O'Brien will produce the feature. I’m sure that it’s going to be a sports comedy about the player trying to avoid the curse… and I obviously see The Rock or somebody like that (“Gameplan 2”?) in the starring role… but yeah, it has potential… and I’m sure there’s a surefire Fantasy Football angle that can be played. I wonder if the guys from “The League” would be a part of this movie. Anyway, I’ll keep you posted. It’s a VERY basic idea for a movie right now… but hey, so was “Avatar” before it made billions. “Why don’t we do Dances with Wolves… but starring these giant blue cat things?” “Why giant blue cat things?” “Why not?” “BRILLIANT!!! Let’s take it to James Cameron…”

Anyway, that’ll do it for today. Still have to get all my Christmas shopping done in Reno before I head out in the morning. Again, I can’t wait to see all of you over the Holidays. It’s going to be EPIC!!! And then I get to spend the following few weeks moving… yippee!!! Have a great weekend everybody!!!

Never Trust a Nun

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, it has been a pretty busy week trying to get things squared away on top of all the shoveling and ice road trucking, but I’m getting EXTREMELY excited. Not only for my forthcoming adventure to The City… but also for this Christmas weekend back home with the family in Utah. Heck, there’s even a Journey cover band playing New Year’s Eve up at Northstar, with fireworks at 9 PM (because it’s too damn cold to stay up until midnight) so even if I’m “stuck” here in Tahoe, I’ve got something fun to do for the evening… but we’ll see what’s crackin’ in Reno or maybe even the new home in San Francisco. I do have a lot of packing & planning to do though. I told most of my coworkers about the move… and they were a mix of stunned & controlled panic. They were obviously very supportive and understood the move… but I think they’re going to miss me a lot… if just for the amount of work that I did. Oh well… they’ll be fine… and I’m sure that a few will keep in touch. I hate to leave them right in the middle of busy season… but that’s just what the cards dealt & I had to go with it. Trust me, they would’ve done the same thing if they had an opportunity like this, no attachments, and they didn’t want to spend another winter here. So yeah… really excited… but enough about that. Here’s some world news…

Every Teacher’s Dream – Did anybody else have a teacher who would check the paper for lottery numbers right in the middle of class? Yeah, I had a math / biology teacher in high school who did that… and I’m pretty sure that if he had hit the lucky numbers, he probably would’ve told every single one of us to go fornicate with ourselves… and cash it in immediately. “Class dismissed, b**ches!!!” After nearly two weeks of suspense, a 64-year-old substitute teacher and single parent from Arizona claimed a $95.3 million Powerball jackpot. Sheila Verke, a Fort Mohave resident, presented the single-winning ticket to lottery officials in Phoenix on Monday. She opted to take a lump sum payment of $49.9 million, saying she plans to buy a recreational vehicle and travel the country… as opposed to buying a country and traveling in an RV. "It's going to change my life and the life of my children and my grandchildren and my friends," said Verke, who was joined by friends and financial advisers at a press conference. A single parent with two children and five grandchildren, Verke said she used a well-worn strategy to win the December 1 top prize -- picking a set of numbers and staying with them each week for years. Her winning combination of 5-10-11-12-20, with a Powerball number of 2, is a combination of her birthday and that of her two children, she said. "I picked these numbers at least 6-and-a-half years ago and stuck with them. Even if I had to gather quarters, nickels and dimes, I bought them," she told reporters. Verke bought the winning ticket at a Safeway supermarket in Fort Mohave, which is about 200 miles northwest of Phoenix. She is Arizona's third-largest winner of Powerball, a game played by residents in 42 states, the District of Columbia and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Her odds of winning were more than 1 in 195 million… but now she’s RICH!!! Seriously… what would you do with $50 million? Besides give half of it to Uncle Sam because of taxes (and roads & education still suck)? The way I see it… it ain’t no fun if the homies can’t have none… so I’d share the wealth with the friends & family… but I’d at least make them type me up a report on what they plan to do with the money. “So… Kiel, is it? What would you do with your request for… one million dollars? Really? You think you’re going to get that much? Okay, wow me.” “Come on bro! Just gimme the money so I can get a bigger house and a Lamborghini.” “Dude, you already have a home that was given to you… and you didn’t do sh*t for that either… and you can’t drive for sh*t, so I wouldn’t feel safe giving you the means for an Italian sportscar. I may as well hand you a live grenade. Besides… where are you gonna put the kid seats?” “F**k you man!” “Yeesh! That’s going in the report. Thank you… have a nice day, sir.” “I’m tellin’ mom.” “DO IT!!! I’ve already told her no because she would give half of hers to you.” So yeah… what would you guys do with a cut of that money? Maybe $100,000? Let’s hear what you’ve got in mind.

Never Trust a Nun - A Catholic nun with a reputation for gambling trips to Atlantic City was accused of embezzling more than $850,000 from a college where she oversaw the school's finances, officials said on Friday. Sister Marie Thornton, former vice president of finance at Iona College in New Rochelle, New York, is charged with sending phony invoices to the school to pay off personal credit card bills and expenses, the U.S. Attorney's office said. The thefts occurred between 1999 and 2009, when Thornton resigned from the Catholic college, court documents said. She entered a plea of not guilty to a federal embezzlement charge. The college of some 5,000 students has come under fire from alumni and donors for never reporting the missing money to authorities and only mentioning the theft in its 2009 tax filing sent in February to the Internal Revenue Service. Iona officials issued a statement saying the school has implemented new financial oversight controls and recovered most of the missing funds. The nun had a reputation for visiting casinos in Atlantic City, New Jersey, according to former Iona basketball coach Jeff Ruland (played for the 76ers back in the 90’s and I know that because I’m a nerd and have a few of his playing cards). The U.S. Attorney's office originally said the theft was more than $1.2 million but on Friday revised the amount to more than $850,000, saying it had originally miscalculated. Thornton's lawyer Sam Talkin said: "We think the case will be resolved in a manner fair to all the parties involved." So just to clarify… a nun was in charge of a university’s finances… and she was embezzling three times my annual salary… for a decade… and lost every cent in gambling… and the former NBA player turned basketball coach KNEW she was on the High Limit Slots… and it was only AFTER she left… that her replacement stumbled on something about it… and then they didn’t report it to anybody other than the IRS as a tax write-off? This is higher education, ladies & gentlemen. No wonder I consider college a waste of money. Hell, she’s obviously not even a good gambler.

I wonder how Jesus would decide her punishment… that’d be a pretty kick-ass show actually – “Judge Jesus”!!! “All rise for the Honorable Judge Jesus!” and he floats into the room wearing a black robe. Come on now! Tell me you wouldn’t DVR every single episode. If somebody’s talking out of turn yelling nonsense, then Jesus takes control of the situation with “Sir, if you don’t wait your turn, I’ll be forced to crucify you… literally.” “This is small claims court! You can’t be threatening me with crucifixion.” “Oh really? I bet you’re going to tell me that I can’t walk on water either… or feed this entire courtroom with a Happy Meal… or be legally DEAD for three days and then come back like I was taking a f**king nap. Now please sit down and be reverent… and if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to enjoy some water… oh wait, maybe it’s a fine Merlot now. (sip) Aaaah, praise me! Anyway, the plaintiff was saying…” What was my point? Oh yeah… don’t trust a nun.

Cost of Execution – Speaking of the “justice” system, the United States executed fewer people this year, in part because there is a shortage of the drug used in lethal injections and because executions are too expensive in tough economic times, a report released on Tuesday said. That’s right, apparently executions… are too expensive. Okay, prove it to me, hippies. The Death Penalty Information Center said in its annual report that executions decreased 12% this year and new death sentences stayed near the lowest level since capital punishment was reinstated in 1976. Texas led the nation with 17 of the 46 executions carried out this year in the United States. The total is down from 52 in 2009 and less than half the number put to death in 1999. "Whether it's concerns about the high costs of the death penalty at a time when budgets are being slashed, the risks of executing the innocent, unfairness, or other reasons, the nation continued to move away from the death penalty in 2010," Richard Dieter, the center's executive director and author of the report, said in a statement. One factor reducing or delaying executions is difficulty obtaining sodium thiopental, one of the drugs used in lethal injection executions, the Washington-based group said. Executions were postponed or canceled in five states due to a shortage of the drug, it said (saved by the bill?). Arizona imported some from Britain, where executions have been abolished, but Britain is now restricting the drug's exportation. New death sentences in 2010 will total 114, near the lowest level since 1976 when executions were authorized by the U.S. Supreme Court, and down two-thirds from their peak in 1996. There have been 1,234 executions in the United States since 1976, nearly half of those carried out (clap clap clap clap) deep in the heaaaart of Texas… and Virginia. Okay, I’m gonna save the “justice” system a LOT of money… and it’s probably just going to go directly to worthless lawyers… but it’s my public service for the day. Perhaps there are alternative methods of executing an individual that would be more cost effective than some apparently difficult to manufacture chemical compound. Sure, there are old standards like firing squad, electrocution, hanging, piñata and gas chamber… but even those can be expensive to design, build, and most definitely staff (though with this economy, probably not too difficult to fill). Even the Guillotine may be a cost effective method… but maybe you’re looking for something a little more humane and natural in the execution of a dastardly individual (for some reason). Well, you can always let Gravity do its thing if you have a cliff or tall building nearby. I’m just saying… there are different ways. Hell, if you REALLY wanted to help out with costs… have you ever considered Pay-Per-View? Maybe selling off a raffle for the role of Executioner? Seriously, you could MAKE money off this stuff. You may think me a morbid desensitized fool… but I know it’ll work… and I’m just coming up with great ideas here. Besides, do you know what’s a little more costly than even sodium thiopental? Putting them up in a one-star motel overfilled with felons & social misfits with three meals a day & plenty of exercise equipment. Anyway… I’m off my soap box now… but it’s silly to think that the reason that we’re not executing criminals is because of costs. Seriously? That’s an easy fix… especially in Texas.

Anyway, that’ll do it for today. I’ve got more packing and planning to do… so I guess I’ll leave you be. Can’t wait to see a lot of you this next week in Utah. We’ll have to start making some more solid plans as my weekend’s full but we definitely need to meet up for drinks & sushi or something. Have a great night everybody!!!

Man of the Year - Coming Soon

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Bubbles came to visit this past weekend… and we had an amazing time. Of course, Brutis enjoyed the woods, we enjoyed the casino scene & the music by the Monophonics (a funky band at a free concert at the Crystal Bay Casino), as well as my company’s 1st anniversary office party which included dinner, drinks & dancing. I don’t mean to brag but… I think we were the two sexiest individuals in the place… and there was a LOT of great competition for that distinction. I’d show you some pictures but… Bubbles made me promise not to. She has low self-esteem for some inconceivable reason (being a woman). So yeah… wonderful weekend was had… and we discussed working together again for the first time in three years… and my possible moving to San Francisco… as that was obviously a big topic on my mind… and after she left, I consulted my family & friends… and of course, a higher power (figured it couldn’t hurt). Is this the right move? Will it really be as amazing as I think it will be? Am I just bored? Am I being irrational? Why would I want to leave this place?

Well, the next day, apparently my prayers were answered as after a day that started with a torrential icy rain storm, then followed by snow, and then just more ice & snow… and then driving home in it… and sliding Gretchen into a snow bank even though I was only going about 10 MPH or less all the way home… and digging myself out with an ice scraper… luckily the only thing hurt was the front license plate and my pride… and helping two other cars along the way… and apparently on the drive home, I received a call from my possible future employer but because it took me an hour to get home, by the time I called them back, they had gone home for the day… and then more ice being there in the morning… I kinda took that as a sign. Also, throughout the past few days, apparently word was getting around that the job was mine… except they hadn’t called me yet to inform me… but I was getting calls from multiple sources asking me the details of when I was moving down. “Ugh… they haven’t talked to me yet so… I don’t know.” “Oh… well, that was the rumor so… have you looked into apartments & where you’d like to live yet?” Also, just so you know, my profession is not seamstress… yet it often seems that way with all the rumors in sewing circles that get back to me somehow. So yeah… all I needed was the phone call at this point… and to find out the details on the transition… and practice my surprised reaction, “WHAT? REALLY? Oh my God, that’s amazing, I had no idea…” I’m horrible at faking it…

So the call finally came today while I was at work... and it was the HR assistant basically saying that the Director was in a meeting but she wanted to get a hold of me and let me know... THAT I WAS OFFERED THE JOB!!! "WHAT? REALLY? Oh my God, that's amazing. I had no idea..." Again, horrible at faking surprise. She let me know that I would be getting a call later to discuss the details of the transfer / transition. So at that point, I basically started letting everybody know that I would be moving (yet again) but when and how was obviously still in question. Was I excited? Of course I was. I wouldn't have let it gone this far if I didn't think it was the right choice. Besides, not to sound cocky or anything, but I pretty much knew that the job was mine as soon as I applied for it. They simply were not going to find a more qualified, skilled, dependable or handsome applicant. Period. They're actually getting a pretty great deal... and I think their weather was a major influence... but as well as the office I'll be working with, the culture and sheer magnificence of the city.

As far as the details go though... that second call never came tonight... and last I heard was January 8th (just in time for the Kraft Bowl?) but that doesn't make a whole lot of sense given that it's really two weeks from now with the holidays thrown in... but hey, it'll get figured out in the next few weeks. So yeah... I'm going to San Francisco. What've you been up to? Here's some news...

Person of the Year – So… yet again, I’m snubbed for a major award… but this doesn’t hurt nearly as bad as the Sexiest Man Alive snub because… well, past winners of Time Magazine’s Person of the Year include Hitler, Bush & the Computer. This year though… it was Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg who has been named Time's "Person of the Year" for 2010, joining the ranks of winners that include heads of state and rock stars as the person the magazine believes most influenced events of the past year. At 26, Zuckerberg is the youngest "Person of the Year" since the first one chosen, Charles Lindbergh; he was 25 when he was named in 1927, Time said Wednesday. Zuckerberg beat out Britain's Queen Elizabeth II by just two weeks: She was 26 when she was named in 1952. Incidentally, Queen Elizabeth II has recently joined Zuckerberg's social networking behemoth. Time's "Person of the Year" is the person or thing that has most influenced the culture and the news during the past year for good or for ill. Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke received the honor last year. The 2008 winner was then-President-elect Barack Obama. The 2007 winner was Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin. Other previous winners have included Bono, President George W. Bush, and Amazon.com CEO and founder Jeff Bezos. In naming Zuckerberg, Time cited him "for changing how we all live our lives." In a posting on his Facebook page, Zuckerberg said that being named Time's "Person of the Year" was "a real honor and recognition of how our little team is building something that hundreds of millions of people want to use to make the world more open and connected. I'm happy to be a part of that." Zuckerberg has put himself on the map not only as one of the world's youngest billionaires, but also as a prominent newcomer to the world of philanthropy. Earlier this year, he pledged $100 million over five years to the Newark, N.J. school system. Now, he's in the company of media titans Carl Icahn, Barry Diller and others who have joined Giving Pledge, an effort led by Microsoft founder Bill Gates and investor Warren Buffett to commit the country's wealthiest people to step up their charitable donations. Zuckerberg owns about a quarter of Facebook's shares. Zuckerberg has built Facebook into an international phenomenon by stretching the lines of social convention and embracing a new and far more permeable definition of community. In this new world, users are able to construct a social network well beyond what would ever be possible face-to-face. "I'm trying to make the world a more open place," Zuckerberg says in the "bio" line of his own Facebook page. Born in Zuckerberg's Harvard dorm room, the site has in six years grown to more than 500 million users worldwide and a dollar worth in the billions. Facebook was the subject of director David Fincher and screenwriter Aaron Sorkin's film "The Social Network." It features a dark portrayal of Zuckerberg by Jesse Eisenberg, as well as the direction he's taking his company and his status as one of America's most influential figures. The film has been picked as the best of the year by the New York Film Critics Circle, the Los Angeles Film Critics Association and the National Board of Review. On Tuesday, it received six Golden Globe nominations, including best picture, drama, going up against its chief rival, the British monarchy tale "The King's Speech," which led with seven nominations. So yeah… welcome to the club… and hopefully I’ll be able to join you shortly… and not just in my imagination with my mirror…

Rock & Roll HOF Class of 2011 – National Treasure Neil Diamond had been eligible for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for several years… but for some reason has never got a nomination to join music's prestigious club. But he was never really worried about it. "I thought about it occasionally, but I kind of figured they'd get around to me at some point," he said in a phone interview. That point came on Tuesday, as the 2011 class for the Cleveland hall was revealed. Diamond, whose hits include "Sweet Caroline," (buh buh buuuuh) made the list, along with the Alice Cooper Band, New Orleans musician Dr. John, Darlene Love and singer-songwriter Tom Waits. Piano man Leon Russell was honored with a musical excellence award, previously the sideman category. Executives Jac Holzman and Art Rupe were given the Ahmet Ertegun Awards. It took three tries before Love, best known for hits such as "(Today I Met) The Boy I'm Gonna Marry" and her work with producer Phil Spector and the Blossoms, was approved for the hall. When reached on Tuesday, an enthusiastic Love said: "I can actually breathe." "Finally it's done," she added. "It still hasn't hit me yet. I still have that nervous stomach, and I'm still excited." The excitement will have to wait for some: Bon Jovi, nominated for the first time, was turned away from the hall, as was LL Cool J, the J. Geils Band, the Beastie Boys, Donna Summer and more. Alice Cooper's name had been mentioned in conjunction with the Rock Hall for years, but the shock rocker hadn't been nominated until this year. Like Diamond, Cooper said he wasn't anxiously waiting. "You know it crosses your mind, but then you think of all the guys who aren't in there, some of them before you, and you go, `Wow.' ... You realize that it's a waiting game," he said in a phone interview. "I don't think you sit around holding your breath on it." Cooper, a heavy metal rocker best known for his dark horror themes, said his band was responsible for bringing show business into rock `n' roll. "There was no spectacle in rock `n' roll, and I think what we did was we kind of brought theater to rock `n' roll," said Cooper, known for a goth look, heavy eyeliner and black shaggy hair. "It was sort of Cirque du Soleil before Cirque du Soleil. It was kind of a weird vaudeville that we did. But it all connected back to the lyrics. ... If we do a 10-hour rehearsal back then, nine hours was on the music, and one hour was on the theatrics." Diamond was on the other end of the spectrum, a singer-songwriter whose first hit came in the form of a song he wrote for the Monkees, "I'm a Believer." His early hits in the 1960s included "Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon" and "Cherry Cherry." "The music I was doing was not in vogue. ... I was like a lone voice out there with a guitar, and it was different than what was going on because it was the English invasion and I wasn't doing that," Diamond said. "I think I've had so many hits because what I was putting out and what I was writing was very different for what was being played on the radio." He's kept producing relevant material through the decades; he released his latest album this fall. Diamond said he was gratified to be in the hall and said his first choice to induct him would be a fan. Of his induction, he joked: "I'm glad they did it before I'm dead." Love said she thought two of her biggest boosters for the hall — Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band's Stevie Van Zandt — would likely do the honors at the March 14 induction ceremony in New York City. She was also happy for some of the other inductees, including Russell, who used to play on some of her sessions. "This is going to be a helluva jam session," she quipped about the upcoming festivities. The induction ceremony will be aired on Fuse. Congratulations, ladies & gentlemen!!!

So I guess that’s the latest update in the lives of great men (and my sister from another mother Darlene Love) over the past few days.Yeah, so… I guess I’m officially moving to the West Coast… cuz you and I know it’s the best coast… California Love… nine-five plus fo’ pennies… yeah, it should be an interesting few months while I get transitioned over there too. Boss Man K sounds really stressed out about it… but he’s supportive… it’s just I think he knows how valuable an employee I am (like they’ll have to get two with lots of previous experience to even come close to what I can do). Oh well… on to the next one… have a great day everybody!!!