Thursday, December 5, 2013

Thanks Be Unto You

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Well, it’s the time of year when we should all be grateful for many, many, many, many things. Here are a few things that top my list:
·     My Family – I spent Thanksgiving with basically my new family… and in two weeks’ time I’ll be in Utah with the rest of them for Christmas
·     My Friends – I’m glad that I’m apparently able to surround myself with good people wherever I go
·     My Lady – She’s amazing… can’t really say enough about her
·     My Health – This one has really hit home recently when a few friends & coworkers have been dealt some seriously life-changing blows… and I wish them all a speedy recovery & send them my warmest wishes
·     My Mind – Like my health, I’d better enjoy it while I can… family history is less than promising
·     My Country – “America… f**k yeah!” Say what you want about the state of absolute decay that it’s going into because of ridiculous leadership on just about all levels… but it’s still better than where over 90% of the rest of the world’s population lives
·     Beer – “The cause of… and solution to… all of life’s problems”
Now that we’ve got those major things out of the way… let’s check out the news…
The Mad Tipper - Before Aaron Collins died, he gave his brother, Seth, a mission: Eat, be merry and leave a giant tip. On Wednesday night, Seth Collins of Lexington, Kentucky, did just that, leaving a $500 tip for a Friendly's waitress in Springfield, Vermont. It's part of a nationwide tour that Collins is carrying out in the name of his brother, who died in July 2012 at the age of 30. In a story provided by the Eagle Times of Claremont, the Friendly's waitress, Julie Bombria, said she thought she was going to faint after getting the generous tip. "This is the nicest thing anyone has done," she said. In his will, Aaron Collins asked his family to give his money to people in need. His cause of death is still unknown, according to the newspaper. Through his family, he's given away 81 tips throughout the Midwest, Pacific and Mountain West regions and is now in New England. Initially, Seth Collins took family and friends to dinner at a Lexington restaurant, gave their server $500 and recorded it. Aaron's wish was fulfilled but far from over. Seth Collins put a video of his first tipping spree on Facebook and started getting donations from around the world. The total's up to $50,000. "(Aaron) thought it would be a one-shot deal," Collins said. "I was going to do this like three or four times, but people were so compelled that they kept giving money. I'm going to give it back on behalf of my brother." He is on his way to Maine, then he will work his way down through New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Rhode Island and the Mid-Atlantic. "Being on the other side of the table and giving away $500 tips is very rewarding," Collins said. So if you’re on the East Coast, keep your eyes out for Seth. Man, it would be nice to give money like that willy-nilly. It’s a good story about helping others in need… that are really in need…
Not just, for example, a heavy-set man standing in a BART station saying, “Five bucks… five bucks… five bucks… lots of people in need… five bucks… five bucks…” I indulged this gentleman (dressed in a suit of course):
$teve: “What are you selling?”
Man: “Wha’?”
$teve: “What are you selling for five bucks?”
Man: “Nah man, I’m hungry… and cold. I need five bucks.”
$teve: “Really? Not even messing around with change anymore? Going straight for five bucks?”
Man: “Everything expensive…”
$teve: “Oh I KNOW! Believe me, I KNOW! Well, good luck with that…”
Man: (under his breath) “F**k you!”
$teve: “Happy holidays to you too!”
Yes, I know I sound like an asshole… but seriously? Granted there are a LOT of homeless people here in the City… but as I get older, my feelings toward them goes from pity & a longing to help them… to actually having met a few… and that just led to bitter resentment. Some are drunken, belligerent asshats… some are drug addicts… some are mentally unstable… some are honestly just f**king lazy… some are just preying on human emotions to support them… some of them it’s their f**king “job” & they go home to houses better than where I live. True story. Anyway, that’s basically why this next story REALLY irks my gurken…
Christmaspocracy - 11-year-old entrepreneur Madison Root was selling bags of hand-picked mistletoe in Oregon’s Portland Saturday Market to help pay for her bracesbut was told to stop because she was violating a city code. The young salesperson told KATU 2 news, "I wouldn't think that I'd have any problems because people are asking for money, people are selling stuff, this is a public place." But the private security guard for the Portland Saturday Market said she was violating Chapter 20.12.020, which makes sales without permits illegal. Madison’s father, Ashton Root (I'm assuming either her mother or brother is named Dakota by the way), was with her at the market and told The Oregonian that the guard said she couldn’t even give away the mistletoe and ask for donations… but begging for money would be okay. (LOOPHOLE FOUND! Beg for money… then throw mistletoe at them & call them “Obama’s c**ksucker!” It’s perfectly legal here!) Mark Ross, Portland Parks Bureau spokesperson, explained that begging is a protected form of free speech. "We totally understand the rule…But here she was selling mistletoe and all around her were people playing music for money, or asking for money for pot, or just spare change. We’re allowing people to beg, but not to sell; it seems like there should be some sort of exception,” Ashton said. Madison agreed, “I don't want to beg! I would rather work for something than beg." From a f**king 11 year old... AMERICA!!! After KATU’s original story spread, Madison’s business took off. In just two days orders streamed in, some for 20 or 30 bags of the mistletoe at a time. A fellow entrepreneur, McKenzie Cook, also took notice of Madison’s plight telling the station, "I saw Madison's story on KATU and I was so moved." So moved that McKenzie offered Madison $1000… for one night. Wait, no… sorry, just to help pay for the braces I think. The fellow Oregonian started his business McKenzie Farms, the second largest Christmas tree farm in the country, with no trees and felt, "This girl is what America is all about." Madison launched her own website which is taking donations for her braces fund and her “special cause of supporting the entrepreneurial spirit for kids of all ages.” Thanks to the mistletoe sales and McKenzie Cook’s contribution, Madison recently got her top row of braces. As her business takes off the pre-teen has been making media appearances and is planning an event on December 14th by the Saturday Market called, “Kiss Off Portland.” AMERICA!!! At the event the young entrepreneur will be speaking about making a difference in the city laws. The effort that began to fund her braces became a lesson in civics and Madison has developed her own platform saying, "People should be able to work for money. People should be able to try hard to make a living.” Needless to say, I agree.
I feel like I shouldn’t have to elaborate on this… because if you don’t understand the core concept, then there’s probably no way that I’m going to turn you. Mental illness & the physical inability to do something is one reason… but just giving up, not even trying & expecting the world to take care of you… that’s something that I just can’t stand. I’ve had a job since I was 15… and went to school for many years. Granted I had a great family to help set the foundation… but it wasn’t easy. I feel like I’m better for it obviously… and maybe it’s just me… but I see a lot of “kids” nowadays and how entitled they think they are… and it just makes me fearful for the future. Learn a trade… or two… or three. Give more than you’ll get this holiday season… and to people who deserve it… not just because they’re related. Also, don’t just give them sh*t. Give them something that they’d actually use or would be helpful to them. If they roll their eyes or give you guff that they wanted some piece of sh*t, take it back & give them the back of your hand. Okay… maybe not that extreme… but inform them that you care for them & this is a gift because of that… and if they don’t like that, THEN you ask them “What did the five fingers say to the face?” SLAP!!! Whatever… rant over.
On that note, I just wanted to wish everybody a HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!! Hopefully you find this blog a little helpful… as it’s wrapped with Love & sprinkled with bacon on at least a weekly basis. Have a great day everybody!!!

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