Good Afternoon Ladies &
Gentlemen,
I
had a few moments the other day, so I went through some news snippits that I
think you might enjoy…
Insulation Man: American Hero – Some people are just
kind of lucky. While remodeling his newly purchased home in Elbow Lake,
Minnesota, David Gonzalez noticed something unusual amid the old newspapers that
had been used as wall insulation. It was a copy of Action Comics #1, the very first comic to feature the granddaddy of all superheroes,
Superman. StarTribune.com spoke with Gonzalez about his amazing find as well as
a subsequent family accident that knocked down the value of his windfall. "I
knew it was worth money," Gonzales told the Star Tribune. "But I had no idea how
much." So far, the answer is, well, a lot. With roughly three weeks left on the
auction block, the high bid is around $113,000. Not bad, considering Gonzalez
bought the ENTIRE HOUSE for $10,100. But, still, the comic could be worth a lot
more were it not for an argument among family members. From StarTribune.com:
“When his wife’s aunt grabbed the comic book amid all the excitement of the
discovery, he grabbed it back and tore the back cover. Experts downgraded the
comic book’s condition to a 1.5 on a 10-point scale. To put that in comic-book
context, a 9.0-grade Action 1 fetched more than $2 million recently.” “That was
a $75,000 tear,” said Stephen Fishler, co-owner of ComicConnect, a New York City
online auction house that is selling Gonzalez’s treasure. He says the comic book
would have graded out at 3.0 without the rip. The moral: Your wife’s aunt can
only do wrong when asked to help you reinsulated your house in the first place…
but now she owes you at least $75,000 when she kicks the bucket, just to break
even. Oh… and don’t be grabby grabby children. The Star Tribune also spoke with
Vincent Zurzolo, co-owner of ComicConnect. "It’s so hard for anyone to fathom
that, in this day and age, you could still discover a comic book that nobody has
known about because this book was in a wall of a house for more than 70 years,"
Zurzolo said. "It’s pretty miraculous that it even survived and it’s only had
one owner." Got a small fortune burning a hole in your pocket? The auction ends
June 11th. See? Sometimes you just have to keep
your eyes open.
Cellular Supercharger - A local California teen’s
invention could potentially knock down cellphone-charging time to a superfast 20
seconds. So far, the energy-storage device has powered only an LED light, but it
has the potential to do much more. The future certainly looks bright for
18-year-old Eesha Khare, who pocketed a $50,000 prize for the Young Scientist
award from the Intel International Science and Engineering Fair in Phoenix, for
her tiny and possibly revolutionary device. Khare sees the device as potentially
powering car batteries, cellphones or any electronics that could use a
rechargeable battery. When asked what inspired her invention, Ms. Khare said,
“My cellphone always dies.” Simple enough. There’s definitely a market out there
for it. The supercapacitor, she explains on CBS San Francisco, is “basically an
energy source device that can hold a lot of energy in a small amount of volume.”
Just think of the large computers that we had even 20 years ago… and how limited
their memory was (remember floppy disks?). Now, you can basically hold the
Library of Congress in a flash drive. That’s the kind of potential in this
discovery. If she plays her patents right, this chick could be RICH!!! The
Harvard-bound teen has caught the attention of Google, who has approached her
about her device (in order to steal it away from her). Regardless of what
happens to the supercapacitor, we're sure to hear more from the high school
senior—at least according to Khare. “I’m going to be setting the world on fire,”
she said. Oh my… I guess… wait… holy sh*t… is she a SUPERVILLAIN? Already?
Usually it takes some sort of catastrophic mishap in the laboratory or some sort
of interstellar genocide before you become enraged against humanity & want
nothing more than to set entire planets on fire with your inventions. Super
brilliant, young, maniacal, holy crap… and her name is… KHAAAAAAAARRRRRE!!!
KHAAAAAAAARRRE!!! If she starts quoting Klingon proverbs, I say take her out as
soon as possible. In all honesty though, great job Eesha! You may have saved
humanity… for now.
Bug: The Other White Meat – Speaking of trying to save
humanity, researchers say that Thailand is showing the world how to respond to
the global food crisis: by raising bugs for eating. The United Nations' Food and
Agricultural Organization released a study and handbook Tuesday on what they
call 'six-legged livestock' — edible bugs and worms that can help meet global
food demand that is expected to grow by 60% by 2050 (combination of more people
& fatter asses I believe). The agency says they provide a rich source of
protein, vitamins and minerals. The study was conducted in Thailand, where
insects including crickets, grasshoppers and bamboo worms have long been a part
of diets, especially in rural areas. Entomologist Yupa Hanboonsong says about
200 insect species are eaten in Thailand. Cricket farming alone is already a $30
million industry there, but only a few other species have been commercially
marketed.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “I could never eat
bugs. Yiiikkkk…” First off, we’ll see if a few days without another food source
will convince you otherwise. You may start seeing a pile of maggots like a
handful of chickpeas. Secondly though, it’s actually a pretty brilliant idea…
which is why it won’t catch on here in the states until it’s almost too late.
Think about it… these insects that they’re talking about are full of protein
& nutrients like the report says, grow & reproduce at a nearly
astronomical rate, can be cultivated basically ANYWHERE, as far as content goes
it’s healthier per pound that anything else your eating short of vegetables, and
hell with as much spice as we mix in with anything anymore you probably wouldn’t
even know it’s beef or bug or tofu. Now, I’ve eaten insects and various other
creatures while I was in China for a month… and they’re really not that bad.
Crunchy texture & a little awkward at first… but hell, Rachel Ray does a
book collaboration with Myke Hawke (“Man, Woman, Wild” and I’m waiting for the
spin-off after he & his wife have children “Man, Woman, Wild, Child”) and
you’ve got a new fad that could be the next bacon craze. Wait… what the hell am
I saying? Bacon is bacon. Bugs aren’t going to compete with that… well, at least
as long as we still have pigs. Sweet delicious pigs… Anyway, had I startup
capital, I’d want to get in on the ground floor of this industry of Grub Grub.
It’s going to catch on, just you wait. Mmm… now I’m thinking about
bacon…
Bacon Update - With Washington state about to embark on
a first-of-its-kind legal market for recreational marijuana, the budding ranks
of new cannabis growers face a quandary over what to do with the excess stems,
roots and leaves from their plants. Susannah Gross, who owns a five-acre farm
north of Seattle, is part of a group experimenting with a solution that seems to
make the most of marijuana's appetite-enhancing properties - turning weed waste
into pig food. That’s right, I’m talking about marinating bacon in THC to create
some kind of stoner super-food. Watch out Funyuns! Four pigs whose feed was
supplemented with potent plant leavings during the last four months of their
lives ended up 20 to 30 pounds heavier than the half-dozen other pigs from the
same litter when they were all sent to slaughter in March. Reasons? They sat
around, played video games all day & had a permanent case of the munchies.
Oh wait… here’s the expert opinion. "They were eating more, as you can imagine,"
Gross said. Giving farm animals the munchies is the latest outcome of a ballot
measure passed by Washington voters in November making their state one of the
first to legalize the recreational use of pot. The other was Colorado. Both were
among about 20 states with medical marijuana laws already on their books. The
federal government still classifies cannabis as an illegal narcotic, and the
Obama administration has not yet said what actions, if any, it will take in
answer to the newly passed recreational weed statutes. Matt McAlman, the medical
marijuana grower who provided the pot leavings for Gross' pigs, says he hopes
the idea expands with the likely impending expansion of Washington state's
marijuana industry. "We can have pot chickens, pot pigs, grass-fed beef," he
said. Draft regulations issued last week to govern the burgeoning
recreational-use industry seem to leave open that possibility. The rules dictate
that marijuana plant waste must be "rendered unusable prior to leaving a
licensed producer or processor's facility," adding that mixing it with food
waste would be acceptable. Gross' pigs were butchered by William von Schneidau,
who has a shop at the famous Pike Place Market in downtown Seattle. In March,
von Schneidau held a "Pot Pig Gig" at the market, serving up the marijuana-fed
pork as part of a five-course meal. He quickly sold out the remaining weed-fed
meat at his shop but plans another pot-pig feast later this summer, he said.
"Some say the meat seems to taste more savory," he said. The results beg the
question of whether pot-fed pork contains any measurable traces of THC, the
mind-altering chemical ingredient in cannabis. The European Food Safety
Authority reported in 2011 that "no studies concerning tolerance or effects of
graded levels of THC in food-producing animals have been found in literature."
The agency also noted that "no data are available concerning the likely transfer
of THC ... to animal tissues and eggs following repeated administration." So
there you go… maybe the best thing about the whole process is that it gets rid
of the waste to somebody who will buy it… and it really doesn’t affect bacon
other than makes it more desirable to a market that simply wants it for the
implied effects of the diet. Kind of like buying a rum cake to get a buzz.
Obviously I like the idea. It doesn’t hurt anybody… and starts a fledging new
market to stoners with disposable income… or people that might just be curious
about an allegedly healthier food alternative (similar to open range chicken,
etc). I don’t see this growing as much as Grub Grub… but you know damn well I’m
going to try it out when I see it at the Farmer’s Market as soon as it’s
approved here in California. You know, most of the agricultural centers for
marijuana are just across the bay in Oakland. Some of you may be saying that
this is just another sign of the Apocalypse where humans are trying to fuse
God’s creations together in some sort of unholy & unnatural union to make
things better… and that always has horrible consequences in the movies (in real
life it usually makes things like turducken & garlic butter & phablets).
However, this is the one that should really unsettle
you…
Apocalypse Update - An 18-foot, 8-inch Burmese python
set a record for the longest snake ever captured in South Florida, where the
exotic species has taken up residence. College student Jason Leon snared the
female python in a rural area southeast of Miami earlier this month, when he saw
part of it sticking out from brush along the roadside, said Carli Segelson, a
spokeswoman for the state's Fish and Wildlife Commission. The python broke the
previous record set in 2012 by a 17-foot, 7-inch snake caught by researchers
studying the impact of the growing population of pythons on the Everglades
National Park. My guess is that their findings have been silenced by the
government to avoid public panic. With the help of his friends, Leon wrestled
and killed the snake with a knife (MAN!!!), Segelson said. He then reported the
find through Florida's "IveGot1" program, which connects callers to wildlife
researchers. Seriously? That’s the name of the program? “I’VE GOT ONE!!!”
“That’s great… is it over 12 feet? Otherwise we’d just say throw it in the trash
can. The Burmese python is an invasive species in Florida. Native to the region
from India to lower China, the species has been documented to grow as long as 26
feet and weigh 200 pounds. Florida sponsored a python hunting competition in
January to see whether annual hunts might put a dent in the local population,
and to provide specimens for further research. Personally, I think they need to
up their hunting season based on the research coming out of the region. Theories
on how the snakes got into the Everglades include dumping by pet owners and the
destruction of a nearby exotic pet dealership during the 1992 Hurricane Andrew,
and some even say they were planted here by the Chinese spies under the hypnotic
control of the mysterious snakelord KA… but that’s probably just me. The
important question is… what do we do now? Keep randomly finding these six-meter
behemoths on the sides of our street attacking our infrastructure? Or do we take
the fight to them? I think we need to get out there & make snake meat &
snake skin the newest “hot thing” before they destroy the Everglades… then
Florida… then the South… then AMERICA!!! Oh… and eventually the world. I’ve been
documenting these finding for years now… we need to take action. Write your
senator! Write your President! Write your mother (cuz she misses you)! Get all
the machetes you can swing! Sh*t’s about to get real! VIVA LA ARMEGEDDON!!!
Danny Trejo, are you with me?
"F**kin' ay Holmes!"
Sofia Vergara?
(inaudible over titty machine guns)
Alexa Vega?
"Wait... how old am I?"
Amber Heard?
"I'm a lover not a fighter..."
Michelle Rodriguez & Jessica Alba?
"Yup yup!"
President Sheen?
"Let's nook the f**kers!!!"
Ugh… Lady Gaga?
"Sure... I'll make a cameo..."
That’s right, we need everybody in on this… and I’m
really excited about “Machete Kills” coming out September 13th… can you tell? Anyway, that concludes this broadcast…
have a great day everybody!!!
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