Saturday, December 29, 2012

Jesus' 2012th Birthday Trip

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Here's a quick recap of my Christmas trip to Utah... and just a heads up, you're going to notice a LOT of relaxing taking place, so it might not be too exciting... but hey, it was MY vacation...

Wednesday - Went to work early, left a little early, flew out of Oakland, my dad picked me up & I pretty much went to bed. Not a whole lot to say about Wednesday other than it was good to see my dad & stepmom... and we watched the "Total Recall" remake starring Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale & Jessica Biel. Check it out. It's not quite as ridiculous as the original, though plenty of throwbacks to it... but still has its moments. I highly recommend it.

Thursday - I spent at my brother's playing "Start the Party!" on PS Move with him & his family, just having a fun ol' time. We also watched some "Archer" because it's awesome. That evening, I also went to see my buddy Isaiah for a little bit.

Friday - The day was spent at my brother's again... and we "watched" the kids movie "Brave" starring the voice talents of many Scottish & English people. Now, I say "watched" because the kids were still VERY excited to see their Uncle $teve... and was my brother Kiel... so between all of the "Uncle $teve, look what I can do!" and "Hey $teve, why don't you come up here & check out my new toy" and the like... I didn't really get to watch the entire thing. From what I understand, it's about a Scottish princess who is your typical angsty teenage girl... and with the help of a witch, turns her mom & brothers into bears (didn't see how that happened). Now she has to save them... before her dad kills all of the bears in his village. Yeah, lessons are learned, blah blah blah... seems like it might've been a cool movie to check out with the kids sitting... but they don't do that when Uncle $teve is in town.

That night was my mom's family's Christmas / End of the World Party (being on the 21st) so it was hundreds of redneck kids & adults in the same small area (not the desert like in September) yelling & screaming and ho ho ho'ing. It was a lot of fun seeing everybody. That night, I went to my mom's house to enjoy "the Fortress of Solitude" and hang out with the kiddies.

Saturday - In the morning we went to my Aunt Pat's to make some cookies & other goodies... including my favorites, Kiefels (aka Baby Jesus Cookies). On the way though... my mom had saved about five garbage bags full of my niece & nephew's toys (spoiled?) that she was going to give away to Deseret Industries (like Goodwill in Utah). Well, she didn't do it in the weeks leading up to this day... so she waited until the kids were in the car to witness it. Yeah, she did the equivalent of putting the puppy down right in front of the kids. So Kairi had a little freakout over a little pink baby purse that she allegedly still played with... but yeah, that was fun for about 45 minutes of wailing.

Then we made goodies at Aunt Pat's while watching "Spirit" an animated tale from a few years ago about a horse (narrated by Matt Damon) in the Old West. He's a wild horse... with a mind of his own... who's taken by union soldiers... and then by native americans... where he meets a friend & a ladyfriend horse... and then gets taken back and... again, I didn't get to "watch" all of it because the kids were there & I was making cookies & frankly, I didn't really give a sh*t... but I can tell you that the soundtrack was by Bryan Adams... because I couldn't stop laughing whenever he was singing... and I'm not sure why... but if you have the soundtrack, you probably know why... and are sorry for your purchase.

Sunday - That night, I went to bed at 8 PM accidentally... by which I mean, I laid down with my nephew Vinny to get him to sleep... and then woke up 7 hours later at 3 AM... and then couldn't really sleep any more, so I got up & watched some "Psych" on Netflix. Kairi was already up & bugging my mom to wake up, so she watched it with me as long as she lied down.

Later that day, I watched a little football at my brother's (using my Red Zone access on his PS3... ssshhh...), then went to my Dad's to hang with him for a few hours because he had to work most of the week. That night, we watched "Good Morning Vietnam" which you've probably already seen but it has it's hilarious points... and it's hard-hitting gripping points. Check it out. Robin Williams is an American treasure. He's American, right? Most funny guys are Canadian but... anyway, a North American treasure at least.

Monday - During the day, my dad & I watched "Fright Night" starring Colin Farrell & Anton Yelchin... which is a remake of an 80's horror flick about a teenager (Yelchin) and his neighbor (Farrell) being a charismatic vampire who's cleaning out the neighborhood. Think "Rear Window" meets "Wild Boys" set in Las Vegas. It was pretty good... I liked it for what it was. Check it out.

That evening was my stepmom's family's Christmas Eve Party and it was the usual get together with food, family togetherness... and the twist this time... was a Baby Buffalo Jesus during the Nativity Scene...

Tuesday - I spent the night at my brother's & we woke up early for Xmas with the kiddies, then "watched" the new movie "Arthur Christmas" while the kids were playing & showing off all their new toys... this movie is another kids flick... and is actually kinda funny. It's about Santa's kids Arthur & Steve. You already know which one that I like better already... and he's voiced by Hugh Laurie. Anyway, Santa is looking to retire... and his son Steve has been running the show like a f**king champ... but he has the other son Arthur who's a bit of a bumbling idiot... but he loves Christmas. Anyway, a present slips through the cracks... and Steve thinks that 99.999999999% success rate is acceptable... so Arthur puts the whole operation in danger to deliver one present with his grandpa (former Santa back in the day) and well, it's a kid's flick. Check it out. I just see kids flicks a little differently now that I'm an adult.

By the way, about half of the Disney princesses are horrible people who weren't disciplined as children. Ariel? Red headed teenage runaway who learned the secret to getting her man was to get a nice pair of legs & shut the f**k up. Medira from "Brave"? Turned her family into f**king bears and put their lives in danger because she didn't want to be a descent well-mannered girl. Jasmine? I ain't saying she's a gold digger... but her rich princess ass ain't f**king with no broke Aladdin unless he was Prince Ali Ababwa. Tinker Bell? That b**ch handed over basically ALL of her friends to f**king pirates... because she was jealous of one of them. That's right... death and possible syphilitic pirate rape because of a little jealous. What a c**t!!! What's my point? Anyway, I'm just gonna stop there, but these aren't role models, so on with the vacation.

Wednesday - My dad, stepmom & I went to see "Jack Reacher" starring Tom Cruise. This movie is based on a series of novels (so my stepmom tells me) and it was actually pretty good. Basically about a former army cop who is a ghost now & helps where it's needed to give real vigilante justice. Kind of like... "Burn Notice" without the whole "trying to be a spy again" backstory or Bruce Campbell, so it does miss that. All in all though, I liked it a lot... and I'm not going to spoil it for you... but check it out. Great car chase scene in the middle of it.

That night, I watched "The Descent" starring fairly cute chicks. Seriously, that's all who is in it & you've never seen them in anything else except the sequels. Anyway, it's actually a pretty good horror flick about lady adventurers who make a dive into an unexplored cave in back woods Applachia... and then there's a cave-in, so they have to keep going deeper to find a way out... but the deeper they go, the crazier things become... and they find that they're not alone. The filming & scenography is pretty much as good as it can get (though the story is what it is, still pretty descent, er decent) so I highly recommend it. Be warned, it gets a little bloody.

Thursday & Friday - I basically watched college bowl games & hung out with my stepmom due to snowy weather... and then friday night I flew back & met up with my ladyfriend Dizzy. That's really about it. Hope you all had a great Christmas too!!!

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