Good Afternoon Ladies &
Gentlemen,
The countdown to the holidays has officially begun.
Halloween was awesome… and now we are well into the month of November with
Thanksgiving next week. So many big events coming up
though.
Saturday, Dizzy & I are going to see Adam Lakers
Carolla do a live podcast… and we got front row tickets. Dizzy is kind of
obsessed with him… and it might be wearing off on me a little bit, but I’m a G,
so I hooked her up. What I’m assuming will happen is we go see the show, laugh
our asses off, meet him afterwards when he’s selling his swag, have him sign a
few books, maybe a bottle of Mangria, invite him & his buddies over to watch
football on my WALL OF AWESOME Sunday, have the time of our lives getting
sh*t-faced with “The Hammer” over bacon and beer induced goodness & he
basically invites us out to LA to watch the Super Bowl with him & Jimmy
Kimmel. “Can’t do, Adam… cuz I’m going to be AT the Super Bowl.” “DAMN! You roll
hard! I understand though… anytime you’re in LA, mi casa es su casa, $teve!”
“Likewise. See ya around playa!” New best friends. You know… the typical thing
that happens at these shows, right? I’ll keep you
posted.
Next week, Jackie D is finally making her triumphant
return to the Bay Area for her birthday trip! You remember Vegas last year,
right? Good… cuz I don’t recall much. What happened? Anyway, she’s going to come
out for a few days… and we honestly really don’t even have anything planned per
se… but sh*t always gets fun when Jackie D & Mookie Love are in the same
city. BALL SO HARD!!!
Next Saturday, Dizzy & I are going to see Sir
Richard Cheese & Lounge Against the Machine live & on stage at Bimbo’s.
This is Dizzy’s first time seeing the Cheese… and will be my
3rd. I also kind of get her obsessed on
his swankified awesomeness… so it’ll be good for all. If you haven’t seen him in
concert yet… go check it out if you can. Warning: He doesn’t do many shows… but
at least check out his music & see if it’s worth the trip. It was when the
Wingman & I went to Vegas!!!
After that, it’ll basically get into the time I should
start thinking about getting presents for people for Christmas. At times like
this, I wish I was crafty… or could get away with making pictures with macaroni
& glue like I did back in the day. Instead, I have to be both thoughtful AND
loaded to get good gifts. I also tend to give away a lot more (and better) gifts
than I get in return… but that may just be because I’m a f**king sucker &
put too much thought in it. Maybe this year will be the year of the Starbucks
card… or the Christmas card with a picture of me & the family (me with no
shirt on). Oh, I’ve got a few good ones already taken care of… but there’s still
a few to go. Oh well, I’ll figure it out… or I won’t. See how dedicated I am?
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!
You know… it’s been a while since I blessed you guys
with some news… so let’s talk about strippers!
Tits of Tots! – So… this morning, I got an email from
one of my favorite websites www.sffuncheap.com which is where I get a lot of info
about some of the cool festivals & activities that you get to hear me
blabber on about on this blog. I’m strolling through their weekly update… and I
see something that… I have to read several times to make sure that I’m reading
it correctly & it’s not some early morning grogginess. Basically, there’s a
gentlemen’s club in SOMA called The Gold Club… and tonight, they’re offering an
open bar & hors d’ouevres from 8 PM to 10 PM… and when you donate a
children’s toy, you’ll receive a complimentary lapdance from one of the lovely
ho ho hoes. Now, there is the stipulation that each toy must be valued at about
$20 (so no showing up with a bunch of crap you bought at Chinatown for a dollar
to exchange), but I think this… is basically one of the greatest holiday ideas
EVER!!! Think about it… the patrons are receiving the human contact that they so
desperately desire, the girls are providing a service to the community to help
needy children enjoy their Christmas, the owners are getting a nice tax
write-off on their establishment, since they’re not considered an establishment
of the arts (though several people are taking that to the Supreme Court).
Everybody wins! That’s not the only way that strippers are continuing to save
the world either…
FINALLY! Soccer can be interesting! -
Greeks are giving the oldest profession a whole new meaning to love of
the game. Players on a cash-strapped soccer team now wear pink practice jerseys
with the logos "Villa Erotica" and "Soula's House of History," two bordellos it
recruited as sponsors after drastic government spending cuts in Greece left the
country's sports clubs facing ruin. By the way, if you don’t know just how bad
the economy is in Greece, please do yourself a favor and read a few articles
about it. It’s pretty horrible. Anyway, other teams have also turned to
unconventional financing. One has a deal with a local funeral home and others
have wooed kebab shops, a jam factory and producers of Greece's trademark feta
cheese. Yes, these sponsors run from the hilarious to borderline racist… but the
amateur Voukefalas club - whose players include pizza delivery guys, students,
waiters and a bartender (I smell a sitcom) - has raised eyebrows with its
flamboyant sponsorship choice. "Unfortunately, amateur football has been
abandoned by almost everyone," said Yiannis Batziolas, the club's youthful
chairman, who also runs a travel agency AND is the team's backup goalkeeper.
"It's a question of survival." Prostitution is legal in Greece, where brothels
operate under strict guidelines (as they should be). Though garish neon signs
advertising their services are tolerated, the soccer sponsorship has ruffled
some feathers in the sports-mad city of Larissa. League organizers have banned
the pink jerseys during games, saying the deal violates "the sporting ideal" and
is inappropriate for underage fans (who pay half price for tickets & don’t
help beer sales anyway, so f**k em!). Batziolas acknowledges the sponsorship
took his team by surprise. "They didn't believe it in the beginning. But when
they saw the shirts printed, they thought it was funny." Near-bankrupt Greece is
struggling to meet creditors' relentless demands to slash spending and keep the
euro as its currency. As Greece heads toward a sixth year of recession, drastic
budget cuts have hammered many ordinary people: Retirees have been left to cover
their own medical expenses, children have lost school bus services, and sports
teams have scrambled to find sponsors as businesses close under the burden of
emergency taxes.
Brothel owner Soula Alevridou, the team's new benefactor, has already
paid more $1,312 for players to wear her jerseys (yes… her… the madame of the
House of History). The team is appealing the game ban, but that doesn't worry
the 67-year-old Alevridou, who says she's only in it because she loves soccer…
and the pimp game. "It's not the kind of business that needs promotion," she
said, dressed all in white and flanked by two young women in dark leggings at a
recent game. "It's a word-of-mouth kind of thing." Her businesses, plushly
decorated pastel-colored bungalows where 14 women are employed, have weathered
the country's financial disaster far better than most, and she readily
acknowledges her success. "If we don't help our scientists and athletes, where
will we be? Greece has educated people, cultured people and good athletes. It's
better to help them than take our money to Switzerland." Alevridou watched in
disappointment as her team lost its fourth straight game, 1-0, despite her
promise to players of "a special time" at her businesses if they won. "There's a
lot still missing. We have no midfield," said Alevridou, a slightly built woman
with a husky voice. "Many of our boys have jobs that keep them working at night…
and if we have a game the following morning, they can't have a real presence on
the pitch. ... They need more help." And unfortunately the “special time”
probably wouldn’t help. They aren't the only team suffering. Greece's Amateur
Athletics Federation suspended all its activities for several weeks earlier this
year to protest funding cuts. And even the major soccer clubs sent most of their
star players abroad this summer in the face of financial trouble and poor
attendance, with fans no longer able to afford tickets. Government cuts have
hurt most of the teams in the amateur league in Larissa - the majestically named
Olympus, Hercules, Fearless and Sagittarius clubs, as well as Voukefalas, named
after Alexander the Great's horse (really?). The impact of the crisis on sports
is a major local concern. The town of 200,000 fielded the only professional club
to ever break big-city domination of the league, winning the national
championship in 1988. In 2007, Larissa FC also rebounded from bankruptcy for
victory in the prestigious Greek Cup. Voukefalas says it needs about $13,120 a
year to meet expenses, and Alevridou has promised more cash. "Here is where it
all begins, with amateur sport. It's where the talent is bred. I am a Greek
woman, and I love my country." She watched quietly, holding a cigarette and
wearing a straw fedora with a leopard print band, as her team struggled. "The
team will get better. I'm certain of it." By God, I love this woman’s passion!
We should have more entrepreneurs like her! Can you imagine Larry Flynt being an
owner of a professional football team? The Las Vegas Hustlers? Now, this is
coming from a fan of Lingerie Football League AND the WNBA… but obviously for
different reasons than you’re probably thinking… I like my sports. Sure, we’ve
got mega bazillionaires that own most of the major sports teams… but what about
all the struggling amateur leagues that just need a few grand for uniforms? What
about a San Francisco semi-pro league with sponsors from Google to the Gold
Club? Maybe I’ve found a new project…
Anyway, that’ll wrap it up for tonight. Looking forward to a fantastic
week ahead… and I hope that you are too. Have a great night
everybody!!!
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