Wook Kundor is a Black Widow

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Let's see. First & foremost, a very happy birthday to the Mad Scientist. He's a good dude so be sure to stop by his blog & sing him a little birthday song or something. Also, Lilie was on the Today Show this morning. No, she wasn't promoting her memoirs (which she has already agreed to let me write for her...due to my special gift of storytelling) but she was in the background shot trying to give Matt Lauer a pressed ham. JL Clyde & I watched most of Season 4 of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" and my face is sore from all the hilarity (and Charlie threatening to smack my face off of my face). In sad news, my cousin Ranae in Denver has been laid off...but she was starting to dread her job anyway...so if you know of anywhere hiring, please let me know. I'm already trying to pull strings here in Utah because she was thinking about moving back before this happened. I'll be leaving for Lake Tahoe in about nine hours...and still no word on whether they want to do an in-person interview or not. I love HR departments. The sky is blue & all the leaves are green. My heart's as full as a baked potato. I think it's going to be a schpedoinkal few days in Lake Tahoe. I'm really looking forward to this and seeing if it may be the future residence of one Dr. Mookie Love. We shall see...and you shall see...because I'll be taking lots of pictures.

Remember a few months ago when I took that Strengths Test to see where my natural gifts are in the work environment when I first started working back here in Utah? Well, here's the link just in case you forgot. Well, now that the company realizes that I'm going to stick around for a few months (and maybe only a few weeks more if Tahoe goes extremely well), they revealed to me the placing of all 34 of their "themes" or Strengths or whatever. So along with the Top 5 which I've already explained and elaborated, I thought that I'd share with you my Next 5 and my Bottom 5...which had a few surprises. I was pretty sure that Empathy was going to be one of the Bottom 5 (because I just don't give a f**k) but that was #15, so even the top half. Weird, right? Well, here's the Next 5...

6. Connectedness - "You have faith in the links between all things. You believe there are few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason." - Hmm, I think that I've mentioned that "everything happens for a reason" more than thrice on this web-based journal. There may be something to this.

7. Arranger - "You can organize, but you also have a flexibility that complements this ability. You like to figure out how all of the pieces and resources can be arranged for maximum productivity." - Hmm, flexibility and lining all the pieces up for maximum productivity...in bed. Oh yeah, this thing knows me pretty good.

8. Includer - "You are accepting of others. You show awareness of those who feel left out, and make an effort to include them." - I am generally fascinated by other people...especially those who have been left out of groups & are kind of loners. Why them? Because I've been in those shoes a few times (I know, shocking) and I'm just intrigued about how minds can work differently when they're not constantly part of a group or collective, when they learn and function and branch out on their own, independent of groupthink. It's fascinating stuff to me...so I like to be around them...as long as they're not doing really crazy sh*t, of course. We only need one of those per group a.k.a. The Wild Card.

9. Ideation - "You are fascinated by ideas. You are able to find connections between seemingly disparate phenomena." - Kind of goes with the Includer thing...but yeah, I like ideas. Especially when they're my own...and completely new & random. As you may have noticed, I have a few moments here & there where I'll throw out ideas like Extreme Golf or How to Save the Airline Industry or kick-ass movies...and it's usually a hodge podge of nonsensical & obscure references...but hey, just remember that you heard them hear before they blew up global & made somebody else rich.

10. Positivity - "You have an enthusiasm that is contagious. You are upbeat and can get others excited about what they are going to do." - Maybe that's why so many people come to me with their problems...because I'll listen to them...and then try to crack a joke or do something stupid or spit some immortal truth to get a smile out of them...and then try to help them. I like being Positive because...well, it beats the alternative of being Negative...

And then, the Bottom 5...

30. Consistency - "You are keenly aware of the need to treat people the same. You try to treat everyone in the world with consistency by setting up clear rules and adhering to them." - I'm a nice guy...and I'll treat you with respect...but it's a LOT easier if you're worthy of my respect. So yeah, I can see how that would be one of my weak points. I like to see it as, you get what you give. At first I thought it was questioning the consistency of my work...and let me tell you, if there's one thing about me that's consist...it's my superb quality of work (and blog) on a consistent basis. Everything else kinda of floats on the wind...

31. Futuristic - "You are inspired by the future and what could be. You inspire others with their visions of the future." - One word: Sexbots!!! I repeat, Sexbots!!! How could this possibly be one of my lower themes? Hmm, is it possible that I'm not inspiring others with this vision? No. Impossible.

32. Individualization - "You are intrigued with the unique qualities of each person. You have a gift for figuring out how people who are different can work together productively." - See, I thought that was one of the gifts that I have. I definitely know with stuff like...a basketball team, the best teams just aren't filled with the best players (Dream Team '06) but a collection of people with complementary talents and a common goal (the Spurs) and I feel the same way about work and stuff like that. Everybody has their strengths and can help out. Then again, one of my favorite sayings is "You are a unique & special person...just like everybody else."

33. Discipline - "You enjoy routine and structure. Your world is best described by the order you create." - I like the routine of having a job...but other than that, I really do like to have different things going on and thinking on my toes and every day being exciting and new. So I guess as my sensei would say, "I rack disciprine."

34. Restorative - "You are adept at dealing with problems. You are good at figuring out what is wrong and resolving it." - So I'm not good at dealing with problems and resolving them. Hmm, interesting. Especially since that's a pretty key component of my job for the past few years...but hey, I can't go against the test, right? Oh...and it's not like I restored a 1969 Pontiac LeMans or anything (miss you Baby).

So yeah, just thought I'd share those with you...because I said I would in the future...and I'm pretty consistent like that. Here's some other news...because I'm sure that you're tired about hearing about me.

Yowza!!! - Gentlemen, this will make you physically wince upon reading...so be forewarned. A Turkish woman accused of cutting off her lover's penis must wait 18 months for a verdict and sentencing while a court determines whether his re-attached penis still functions, a court source said Thursday. The criminal court in the Black Sea town of Trabzon will wait for a medical report assessing whether the 28-year-old victim has regained full use of his organ or if he is permanently disabled, an official involved in the trial said. "To determine which crime was committed, we first need the report. We'll continue holding hearings in the trial from time to time until we receive the report." The 39-year-old defendant faces between one and three years in prison if her former lover recovers, Haber Turk newspaper said. She will be jailed for at least 8 years if he does not. The woman told the court he had broken his promise to marry her and forced her into prostitution and beat her. Surgeons worked for 11 hours to re-attach the penis in an operation which they described as successful (the staples are still holding?) and said full sexual function should return within six months. The newspaper quoted the defendant, who has not been jailed during the trial, as saying she told the court she cut off her former lover's penis and threw it onto the roof of a neighboring building while he was drunk. Cheese & rice, I would hope so. So...I'm a little confused by this story...and it may be my limited knowledge of Turkish law. Okay, so...she's going to serve AT LEAST one year if it still works, right? Why isn't she in jail now serving that sentence? This is forgetting the whole admitting to prostitution thing (which may or may not be illegal there). Now, if he beat her & forced her into prostitution, then yeah, he deserves to lose his Turkish Delight...but if it's really all just because he didn't marry her, then I'm afraid I have to side with the guy. Just...OUCH!!! And then tossing it onto the neighbor's roof. It may be a lot of fun to play with but it's not a Frisbee!!! Excuse me, novelty flying disc. Yes, I said disc.

23rd Husband? Really? - A 107-year-old Malaysian woman says she is ready to marry for the 23rd time because she fears her current drug addict husband might leave her for a younger woman, a report said Monday. Wook Kundor made headlines four years ago when she married Muhammad Noor Che Musa, a man 70 years her junior in northern Terengganu state, with pictures of the couple's wedding splashed across regional newspapers. But Wook is now looking for new love as she fears that Muhammad, 37, who is undergoing voluntary drug rehabilitation treatment in the capital Kuala Lumpur, will leave her once the program ends, she told the Star newspaper. "Lately, there is this kind of insecurity in me," the paper quoted her as saying, showing a photograph of the smiling, wrinkled-faced centenarian wearing a Muslim headscarf. "I realize that I am an aged woman (really?). I don't have the body nor am I a young woman who can attract anyone (actually she seems pretty spry for a centurian). My intention to remarry is to fill my forlornness and nothing more than that," she said, adding that she felt lonely without her husband by her side to celebrate the coming Muslim festival of Eid al-Fitr next week. Wook said she planned to visit Muhammad on the second day of Eid if her neighbors were willing to drive her to the capital. Muhammad, who was a lodger in Wook's house, had previously said it was "God's will" that the couple fell in love. Such a sad story when a woman is insecure & thinks that her lover is going to leave her once he sobers up and realizes that he is AT LEAST THREE GENERATIONS YOUNGER THAN THE WOMAN THAT HE MARRIED!!! Now, this article focused on why she thinks this marriage is going to fail...but the real question that I have...is why did the other 22 fail? Maybe a few were widowed but...I'm assuming there was at least two divorces in there for "irreconcilable differences" or something...and not just the age difference. Seriously, 22 times??? That's...I mean...maybe at my current pace, I'll have that many lovers by the time I'm 107 but wow, that's 22 weddings...and 22 divorces or dealings with lawyers. I'm just curious about the back-story behind this woman. A century of being "popular" would make for an interesting read...but this is even a step beyond. That's right Yahoo! News, I think you missed a golden opportunity to make a truly fascinating story by just focusing on her fear of being left by a man who was born a third of her life ago. That's like me marrying a nine-year old. There's some perspective for ya. I may have to research this a little further when I get back from Lake Tahoe.

Anyway, that'll be enough for today. I've still got to get packed and make sure my camera is charged up...and make sure my mom remembers that tomorrow morning is when we leave. I'm not saying that she's senile or anything...but sometimes she just forgets. Oh wait, maybe that's what senile means. It just always sounded like a "smell" word to me. Like somebody smells senile...and it's like a mix of mothballs and urine or something. Anyway, back to the point. I hope that you all have a wonderful & safe weekend...and if you don't hear from me in a week or so, send me an email...and either I've gone missing...or I'll send you my new forwarding address. Have a great weekend everybody!!! Oh...and since I can...here's something that I'm hoping to see in Lake Tahoe over the weekend. Wish me luck...

"Excuse me, Miss..."

"I'm sure you get this all the time...but you look a lot like Megan Fox's hotter sister."

"HA! A smile. That's what I was going for."

Have a great weekend everybody!!!

Sorta Like Super Powers

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

FYI - This is my 599th blog entry in the now two years (and 5 days) that I've been doing this...and over that time, I've bored you with a lot of quizzes. Today is no exception. As you know, if there's one thing that I pride myself on, it's a consistent work ethic. That...and inventing Panda Porn and saving the species for the time being. Well, earlier today, I knew it was going to be a great day. Why you ask? Because I get to work...and right off the get-go, I see a fairly attractive coworker of mine walking down the sidewalk...carrying a saddle with her. (I should mention at this time, that is was a Western theme at work today) Being the gentleman that I am, I asked her, "Would you like some help with that?" In that instant, she kind of laughed in a way that made me think...at least for a moment...that her mind was in the gutter & thinking of cowgirls in reverse as well...but declined my offer and we went on our separate merry ways, both smiling.

One thing my mama told me growing up was that if something isn't working right or needs to be fixed, you should swat the sh*t out of it until it works for you. Now, she was mainly talking about anything from gardening tools to electronics to child laborers...but it works for your career too. Only they call it SWOT, which stands for Strengths - Weaknesses - Opportunities - Threats. Who knew that my mom was actually talking about a big business term instead of physical violence? I should never doubt her.

Anyway, after that encounter with saddle girl, I was then asked to take a Strengths Finder Test so that they would know what type of worker I am (besides perverted) and what kind of drone I could be in their grand scheme of things. The quiz took about 40 minutes...and when the numbers were computated, here are the Top 5 Results that were given...along with some info on each...

1. Maximizer - "People who are especially talented in the Maximizer theme focus on strengths as a way to stimulate personal and group excellence. They seek to transform something strong into something superb. Strengths, whether yours or somebody else's, fascinate you. Like a pearl diver, you search them out, watching for the telltale signs of a strength. A glimpse of untutored excellence, rapid learning, a skill mastered without recourse to steps, you feel compelled to nurture it, refine it, and stretch it towards excellence. You polish the pearl until it shines." (Giggidy, I sure do) So yeah, apparently I'm the kind of guy that sees the best in someone and tries to help maximize it and make it the BEST!!! I would have to agree with that.

2. Relator - "People who are especially talented in the Relator theme enjoy close relationships with others. They find deep satisfaction in working hard with friends to achieve a goal. You are comfortable with intimacy (hell yeah). Once the initial connection has been made, you deliberately encourage a deepening of the relationship. You want to understand their feelings, their goals, their fears and their dreams and you want them to understand yours. (I kid you not, I can show you the book this is from) You know that this closeness implies a certain amount of risk - you might be taken advantage of - but you are willing to accept that risk." So basically my work life is like a Danielle Steele novel. It goes on to suggest that I find a workplace that encourages relationships (to a certain extent) and to learn about my coworkers...which I try to do anyway...and be caring & honest with them. Geez, it's like we're dating or something. If so, I don't get paid enough.

3. Achiever - "People who are especially talented in the Achiever theme have a great deal of stamina (um hmmm) and work hard (so hard...). They take great satisfaction from being busy and productive. By the end of the day, you must achieve something tangible in order to feel good about yourself. You have an internal fire burning inside you. It pushes you to do more, to achieve more. After each accomplishment is reached, the fire dwindles for a moment, but very soon it rekindles itself, forcing you towards the next accomplishment. Your relentless need for achivement might not even be logical or focused but it will always be with you." I did grow rather restless during my two weeks of unemployment. THANK GOD I had to arrange for a new job and move all my worldly possession about 600 miles during that time. I would've gone bonkers. So yeah, I get bored easily...which may also explain why this stuff I'm reading from this book sounds really sexy. Seriously though. My internal fire being dwindled after an accomplishment...and then a few minutes later being ready for another go-around. Goes pretty well with the stamina mentioned in the previous one, don't you think?

4. Communication - "People who are especially talented in the Communication theme generally find it easy to put their thoughts into words. They are good conversationalists and presenters. You like to explain, to describe, to host, to speak in public, and to write. Events are static. You feel a need to bring them to life, to energize them, to make them exciting and vivid...and so you turn events into stories and practice telling them. You take the dry idea and enliven it with images and examples and metaphors. You believe that most people have a very short attention span (or am that person, in my case). You want to divert their attention towards you and then capture it, lock it in. This is what drives your hunt for the perfect phrase. This is why people like to listen to you. Your word pictures pique their interest, sharpen their world and inspire them to act." Sexbot!!! That is purely prepostorious. I can barely read...but luckily my charms got me through higher education. It goes on to say that I should get a degree or a job in Marketing or something. I have no idea why they would even think something like that. They must not be readers of my blog. Nothing I say gets acted upon. Hell, I barely get comments anymore. Though I do love my readers...and want to make their days pleasant and cheerful, I don't exactly see me sharpening their world with the perfect phrase. Then again, if I happen to help you pique all over the place, you're welcome. I have considered writing romance novels before...

5. Adaptability - "People who are especially talented in the Adaptability theme prefer to “go with the flow.” They tend to be “now” people who take things as they come and discover the future one day at a time. You live in the moment. This doesn't mean that you don't have plans. You probably do, but this enables you to respond willingly to the demands of the moment even if they pull you away from your plans. Unlike some, you don't resent sudden requests or unforeseen detours. You expect them. They are inevitable. You are, at heart, a very flexible person who can stay productive when the demands of work are pulling you in many different directions at once." Again, simply prepostorious. This test is pure hogwash. Forget the whole last year or so...and the various days of infamy...and anything of that sort. Nothing to do with this at all. When I said Adaptability yesterday, I meant changing colors like a chameleon...and maybe growing a dorsal fin for balance or something.

Okay, so the test was pretty close...and I can't wait to see the rest of the 34 themes...and what my Bottom 5 are. That should be interesting too. Anyway, I've bored you enough. Check out this test if you get the chance. You might like it...and it'll give you some insight on the kind of career you might want to go into. I've found that my current career is a pretty good fit...because I can help others maximize their talents (Maximizer), talk all day (Communication), bang my coworkers (Relator) all night (Achiever) and go with the flow (Adaptability). Have a great day everybody!!!