Monday, June 6, 2016

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Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

This past week has been “The Big Move over to the East Bay” and we’ve been setting up the apartment, internet, all that stuff… and frankly putting all of our sh*t in appropriate places, but we’re coming along nicely. There are a few other things that happened this week though… we had another BJCP (Beer Judge Certification Program) class Tuesday night… but yeah, that was a lot of learning…

Izzy & I also watched “Gods of Egypt” starring Gerard Butler & Nikolaj Coster-Waldau in… frankly one of the most ridiculous movies that I’ve seen in a while. Basically it’s a movie based on Egyptian mythology… in that they take some of the names from Egyptian gods and various grunts & noises (Bek, Zaya, Urshu, etc) and apply them to a city made entirely of pasty models in front of a green screen and add a lot of CG that seems dated even by 1999 standards. It’s pretty bad… and I’m trying to be nice. I really am. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. The plot: God of War Set (Butler) shows up at a ceremony where the King of the Gods Osiris is passing his title onto his son Horus (Coster-Waldau) but… spoiler alert… instead of just saying congratulations, the God of War kills Osiris (somehow, because he’s a God right?), whoops Horus’ ass, and takes his eyes out of his skull, leaving him blind… and then takes his woman to be his mistress too… like a f**king boss. So then we fast forward a few years, and there’s this British… sorry, obviously Egyptian thief kid named Bek (Brandon Thwaites) who tries to steal some sh*t (one of Horus’ eyes which is like… a glowing crystal or something) from Set… and it ends up getting his girlfriend killed… so now he teams up with the exiled Horus after giving him his eye back… so that Horus may or may not be able to bring her back from the Death. Oh… and we’re just getting start… we’re like… 30 minutes into this 2+ hour movie. It only gets crazier from here… but I’ll hold off on the plot points… save Geoffrey Rush has a giant blade of fire that he uses to fend off a giant worm from Dune from devouring the Nile. Needless to say, they’re not well thought out… and nonsensical… and again, the visual effects are just… I don’t know what the budget was exactly… but it wasn’t well spent. Director Alex Proyas (“Dark City” & “I, Robot” among others) didn’t seem to have his game on in this one. I can see why the movie was a colossal flop. That being said… if you like “300” then you’ll probably like this movie. Gerard Butler does that character well… some of the designs and shots are pretty cool for being completely obvious CGI… other than that though, I really have no idea what the hell I just watched & why it was made. I unfortunately cannot recommend it.

Next week, Izzy’s going to Utah on her first work trip that she won for being such an amazing employee… and he’s only been there for about 90 days!!! Truly amazing!!! She’ll be there for her birthday, leaving me behind to miss her… but I’m sure that we’ll get by without each other for two days… and we’ll just have to make it up when she gets back. Have fun beautiful!!!

Also while she’s out, we’ll be posting the next episode of the Everything I Learned From Movies Podcast featuring the 1999 movie “Drop Dead Gorgeous” which was suggested by OUR 1st SPECIAL GUEST HOST, SALLY!!! It’s one of her favorite movies… and neither of us had seen it… so you get some real sincere reactions & it gets pretty hilarious! Check it out, let us know what you think, and let us know if you’d like to be a special guest host on a future episode… and we’re always down for suggestions. Until then, have a great day everybody!!!

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