Monday, February 25, 2013

The City Kidnapped Gretchen!!!

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well... it was bound to happen but somebody finally stole Gretchen. And no... it wasn't some asshat looking to take her on a joy ride... or some crackhead, who usually don't have the qualities needed for stealing a vehicle... or an international spy needing to commandeer it for a fantastic getaway chase or anything... but rather some knob-gobbling asshat in a trucker hat and probably unemployable by any other standards, who was hired by the city of San Francisco to go kidnap cars and hold them for ransom... or more commonly known as a tow truck driver. Why was it stolen? Allegedly it was blocking a driveway (it wasn't) but I have no proof... and the tow company by law doesn't give refunds... and God knows the City of San Francisco isn't just going to say "Here... take your $501 ransom back... our bad... oh, you got a $98 ticket with it too? Well schucks, we'll just wave that off too. Kazaam!!!" So in short, f**k the city of San Francisco... and I refuse to break for Meter Maids from now on... or tow truck drivers... if they're in the street, in my lane, they're fair game. Watch yo back, b**ches!!!

Anyway, other than that, one good thing did come out of Wednesday night when it happened. I got to have a meal with Bubbles to catch up & thank her for covering for me while I was out of town. We had dinner at Gracias Madre in the Mission... and it's a Vegan restaurant... but surprisingly good. I highly recommend it if you're into that whole vegan thing.

The New Orleans pictures are now loaded on my computer... but there's a lot to cyphen through... so instead I'm going to blab about a few movies I saw over the weekend... and show you some pictures from the Chinese New Year Parade on Saturday. Here's the latter:

Starting off this week's movie capades... is "Jack the Giant Slayer" starring Nicholas Hoult as Jack and the likes of Ewan McGregor, Ian McShane & Stanley Tucci along with the voice talents of many Englishmen... and from the director of "The Usual Suspects" & the original X-Men Trilogy. Basically it's the retelling of Jack & the Beanstalk... but with CGI, a little more character development, a love story & all the usual stuff that you would expect in a big budget movie... and it's actually done pretty well. Sure, it's a little predictable but it's what you expect... and even funny at times. There are some major loopholes in the story & execution of it (WHAT? In a fairy tale movie?) primarily with regards to the giants... but hey, it's a kids flick for all ages. I highly recommend it.

Next up was "Looper" starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt & Bruce Willis. The key to really enjoying this movie... is just to accept that the only application for time travel in the future is for the Mafia to send people back in time to get whacked. Apparently the future doesn't have the Nevada desert or something. There's a mafia mutt / drug addict (Levitt) who executes the people sent back through time to him... until one day, they send back him thirty years in the future (Willis). Well, apparently he gets craftier in 30 years & escapes... and hyjinx ensue as now the mafia is after both of them... and you throw in some telekinetic powers... and it's actually a pretty good movie despite trying to tell you the plot. Again, take it with a little bit of disbelief. It's kind of like Terminator if instead of a robot being sent back to kill an unborn child... it's some guy getting sent back through time to get whack himself. Wait... that doesn't sound good at all. Just go ahead & check it out if you want. You don't care about loopholes in the story. Bruce Willis is in it. Sold.

Next is "Beasts of the Southern Wild" which is a story about a little girl in southern Louisiana (Bayou country) during Hurricane Katrina and just living in that environment. It was very imaginative & enjoyable... and being a fan of Louisiana (and nearly going out to that area during my latest visit), you have to respect those crazy rednecks who live in that kind of environment living off the land... or the water more appropriately. You want to check this movie out. I know it gets all the Oscar buzz & all that... but yeah, it's actually pretty cool... and it's only 90 minutes.

Next up was a find on Netflix called "FDR: American Badass" starring Barry Bostwick. It's a straight to DVD comedy about FDR (Bostwick) and his being stricken with polio by a werewolf bite (true story) and how he became the president of the United States shortly after... and defeated the Nazi werewolf axis of evil (unconfirmed). The movie is actually pretty funny in a sophemoric way (allegedly there are other ways) but yeah, it's not going to win any awards... the humor is crass at times... but then again, I'm kind of a fan of that. Fun fact: Kevin Sorbo ("Hercules") is in it!!! See if you can find where he shows up.

Lastly is "Centurion" starring Michael Fassbender, Dominic West & Olga Kurylenko. Set in 2nd century Britain/Scotland, it's the story of a man (Fassbender) whose the lone survivor of a Roman legion that is basically destroyed by an army of Pilts (Scots of the day). He escapes & meets up with another army, they're devastated, and the few survivors basically spend the rest of the movie trying to get back to their people & avoid the Pilts, led by a vengeful leader and an expert tracker (Kurylenko). If you liked movies such as "Pathfinder" or "King Arthur" or "Braveheart" fight scenes, I think you'll really enjoy this flick. It's from the director of "The Descent" so that's a hint that it gets pretty bloody & is beautifully shot... so enjoy if that's your thing.

Anyway, that'll do it for tonight. Hope you enjoyed & I'll get the New Orleans pics up asap. Have a great day everybody!!!

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