BLACK & ORANGE, BLACK & ORANGE...

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, it’s been another week… and let’s see what’s happened. First & foremost, THE SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS ARE IN THE WORLD SERIES!!! Kind of a surprise… but a good one. Last weekend, Dizzy & I went to one of her old teacher’s art exhibitions at the Mission… and there were about 20 or so other studios set up as well. They were all pretty fantastic… but you know me & art… I know what I like… and I respect the work put into it & all but… it’s not my realm of expertise or anything. Aside from that, we watched a lot of football mostly.

Saturday though, we did go to a nice little block party in my neighborhood… and I finally met a LOT of my neighbors that I had seen in passing before but never really chatted with. That was a lot of fun! Apparently I’m also a bit of a celebrity in the area for walking to work in a suit everyday… you know… ladies be noticin’ that stuff. (pops collar) I also saw J-Mo’s roommate Boz for a bit too and we talked about future Bacon Days & Gaming parties… and we also heard about gossip in the neighborhood. By the way, apparently Tuesday night while I was playing softball, there was a f**king SWAT team apprehending suspects in the apartments across the street from me. Finally some action in my hood… and I missed it. Oh well, still a great time meeting new peeps & meeting up with old ones.

Speaking of softball, last night was another doubleheader… but we won the first one by forfeit and just kind of batted around for an hour or so until the 2^nd team showed up. Coach tried something a little different this time. Instead of marooning me in Right field (or right center since it’s softball & you have 4 outfielders), he decided to move me to 1^st base… and I did pretty good (only one pseudo-error in an inning where we had like… six total) but then he moved me over to 3^rd base. They had the lead after that first inning, but then we came back in a hard way… I went 4-for-4 at the plate… and we ended up winning the team that beat us in the championship last year for the second time this season, 15-10. Guess who got his first game ball EVER in a baseball related sport. THIS GUY!!! Sure it may have been a little bit of “great effort” for a guy who’s obviously not meant for the sport… but I could give two sh*ts because I got a game ball. UHHHHH!!! UHHHHHH!!! NANANANA!!! NANANANA!!! So yeah, we won, still undefeated. Here are some movies I watched this past week…

First up was “Snow White & the Huntsman” starring Charlize Theron, Chris Hemsworth & Kristen Stewart. Sold as a dark & gritty version of the classic “Snow White” tale… I didn’t particularly care for it. Charlize did her thing… and she’s hot… and creepy at the same time… but I just couldn’t get over a few things. First & foremost, how does Kristen Stewart get work? I understand Chris Hemsworth because he’s handsome… but why Kristen? She’s a horrible actress & she ain’t even cute. She’s a 4. Hate all you want Twi-hards, you know I’m right. So when the plot of your movie involves a voluptuous evil witch stunner (Theron) being threatened by some puny, pasty, expression-less faced twig girl with no discernable skills of any kind… and it’s constantly referred to about how fair she is… and how her beauty & purity is going to restore this wasteland of a world… then it’s really difficult to go from there. Oh, so how did she get the job? I wonder if she f**ked the director before or during filming… but anyway, it’s not my cup of tea… but I’m sure it’s better than that “Mirror Mirror” that pretty much went straight to DVD. That Snow White was cuter… and I could buy Julia Roberts as an evil witch stepmother (oh I’ve seen “Stepmom”) but then I’ve have to waste another two hours. Pass.

Next up was a board game movie adaptation of “Battleship” starring Liam Neeson and… let’s see, there was Taylor Kitsch (Gambit in “Wolverine” & “Sunday Night Lights” fame), Rihanna (not an actress obviously) & Brooklyn Decker (aka swimsuit issue covergirl & Mrs. Andy Roddick)… so obviously the bar was set high & surprisingly enough NOT directed by Michael Bay (instead by Peter Berg who did “Hancock” & the movie “Friday Night Lights”). Okay, but a good movie can overcome the lack of acting, right? It’s happened many times before. Well, the story follows a guy (Kitsch) who is doing nothing with his life, until one drunken night, his brother convinces him to join the Navy… and he hits on a girl (Decker) who also happens to be the daughter of his brother’s commander (Neeson). Small world, right? Anyway, a few years later, he’s about to get thrown out of the Navy when all of a sudden aliens attack Earth. Now, I’m not going to bore you with the hundred of implausible plot points & scientific issues with the film that led up to this point or were prevalent throughout the movie (on par with “The Core”) but aliens attack & set up a force field with oddly enough, five ships inside the bubble (like the board game it’s based) and… well, how do you expect it to go? How about the commander’s daughter going toe-to-toe with the aliens on an island (by the way, it’s set in Hawaii which was probably it’s best attribute) in charge of taking out their communications relay. Basically it was “Independence Day” meets “Transformers” with a sprinkle of “Top Gun” thrown in. I wouldn’t recommend it… but hey, Liam Neeson puts asses in seats.

Viewing highpoints of the week are a few TV series that I stumbled upon. First up was “Comic Book Men” starring “Clerks” director Kevin Smith and the employee’s of Jay & Silent Bob’s Secret Stash comic book store in Red Bank, New Jersey. It’s basically a reality show / video podcast of them talking about comics and the activities of the past few weeks or whatever… but I like it. If you’re a comic book geek & you haven’t seen it, check it out.

Best though… was the TV animated series of “BLACK DYNAMITE”!!! Yes, the live action blaxploitation parody is now a TV series on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim… and it retains pretty much the entire cast from the movie… but with animated craziness… and all kind of takes of pop culture of the 70s & 80s along with its irreverent jokes (“Ninja please”) and general badassery that is… Black Dynamite. I love it… though it’s not for everybody (as I’ve learned from the 35 seconds that my roommates watched before they excused themselves to “do homework”) but I say, check it out.

Anyway, that should do it for now. Some big plans may be brewing… but I’ll save that for another time. Have a great day everybody!!!