Nobody Pays Me in Gum

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

This weekend was a’ight. First & foremost, Bubbles had a great weekend in Tahoe & she and Gretchen are back home safe & sound. It was basically a blizzard but still a great time. It rained here in San Francisco for the majority of the weekend with only a few glimpses of sunshine to remind you what you were missing. Football games were pretty damn good. Unfortunately, Ravens kicker Billy Cundiff & 49ers punt returner Kyle Williams can probably never show their faces in public again… but hey, sh*t happens. By the way, they’ll probably soon be FORMER Ravens kicker & 49ers punt returner before the end of the week. So yeah, four years later, it’s Patriots & Giants in the Super Bowl again. I’m sure it’ll be a great game… and the roommates & I are going to host a nice little party for the Game… so yeah, we’ll make the most of it.

Also this weekend, I got my new laptop and transferred over most of my pictures & music to it… as well as my PS3. The best thing about doing that… is it gave me an excuse to go through the pictures a little bit. A lot of them you’ve probably seen on this blog over the past almost five years now that I’ve been doing this. However, some of them I hadn’t even seen in a long time. I went through some of the pictures of me & my brother as a kid… and saw a few with my grandparents & great-grandparents that passed away. Pictures of my mom & dad in their 20’s with two kids. Also, I’m just going to say it… I don’t know if it was the fashion back in the day… but I was in some pretty ridiculous clothes as a kid. Mom, I blame you. Also, ever wonder what I might look like with a creepy ass moustache & aviator sunglasses? Well, all you have to do is look at old pictures of my dad. I think I found my Halloween outfit next year. Here are a few treats on that front…

Me & my baby bro

The family...

I wasn't joking about my dad, right?

Uncle Chuck, Grandma Love, my bro & me

Rockin' the powder blue suit & Dorothy Hamill hair

This one I... I just don't know what to say...

Only five weeks to Disneyland...

and note that I'm 6 & already as tall as Donald Duck

Then there were the awkward teen years… so gangly… total Coke bottle bottom glasses… we’ll just skip over those. Then the early traveling years of my early 20’s… so gangly… total Coke bottle bottom glasses… but I was seeing the world, so hella happy in all the pictures… and yeah, I was for the most part outside of the photo frames too. After that was my trip to China & Lasik surgery, so then the pictures become a LOT more of my friends & I hanging out… and a lot better quality thanks to my new camera back when I started this thing… and then a lot of Kairi & Vinny as little babies & watching how they’ve grown over the past few years (and a little sad that I haven’t seen Kelaudri in a few years, but I’m sure she’s doing good). A few of the past apartments like my sh*t shack in Murray, the 34th floor penthouse in Denver, downtown in SLC, the Tahoe habitat, etc. Just kind of going through the memories. Yeah, pretty cool. I enjoyed it. I suggest you guys do the same… but beware, your heart strings might be tugged at a little bit. Anyway, enough of that… here’s some news…

PIS3 – I’ve been saying it for years that the best way to make a guy improve his aim in the bathroom is to give him an incentive. A few years ago, I got some viral email where they put a fake fly sticker on a porcelain urinal & it apparently helped guys to focus their effort… as opposed to just letting it fly or something, like I guess some guys do. Now, the next step. Three years ago the "Toylet" was just a pipe-dream for developers at Japanese video game maker Sega, but now the urinal video game has been rolled out at pubs across the nation. Users target their urine at a sensor inside the toilet which measures volume and speed, with software then matching that to progress in a selection of five video games in a console mounted at the top of the urinal. "At first, we thought it would really be only young people who would like this kind of game. But ... we're seeing this phenomenon where people are enjoying playing with it, regardless of age," said Hirotaka Machida, the console's lead producer. At 150,000 yen (about $1600) for a single unit, Machida said the original plan had been to avoid the mass market, but tests in pubs and restaurants showed it had broad appeal. An infra-red device cuts off play if gamers stray too far from the urinal, reducing the amount of mess, according to Sega, making it a hit with pub managers as well. Toilet humor and raunchy gags are a staple of far from high-brow variety shows in Japan where Toylets were rolled out on general release. Sega now has its sights on a global expansion plan later in the year. So speak to your local bartender… and get them on this tip. Sega is making a comeback yall… and it’s in the bathroom. Sonic the Hedgehog won’t know what hit him…

Apocalypse Update – An Australian family's dog is being called a hero after it rescued two young girls from a snake attack. 18-month-old River spotted a two-foot-long brown snake hiding under a children's swing just as 7-year-old Michelle Lynch and 2-year-old Kaylee were headed its way. The brown snake is considered the second-most deadly land snake, whose venom is strong enough to easily kill an adult human. "Michelle loves River, and River loves Michelle. Kaylee thinks that River is a fantastic toy," said Ben Lynch. The snake reared its head at the two girls, ready to attack, when River jumped to their defense. "River came bursting out and jumped on the snake," Michelle Lynch said of her rescuer. Unfortunately, River was bitten in the attack and began to suffer from paralysis a few hours later. The Lynch family took River to the vet, where he is receiving anti-venom and is expected to make a full recovery. "They're a pack animal and we're their pack so it's definitely their instinct to get in there, especially when kids are involved," said Catherine Lynch. "She's a very sweet, friendly dog. She's very much part of our family." Good boy, River! Good boy! May you have a speedy recovery. I know you are all skeptical out there of my serpent apocalypse… but now you’re starting to see that it makes sense, right? They’re attacking our youth! “Oh $teve, it’s just an isolated incident. They’re not trying to take out our offspring. I don’t care how many times you’ve mentioned these isolated incidences.” Oh really? This time the dog came to the rescue… let’s look at another isolated incident where they don’t have domesticated canines to protect them…

A-Crocalypse Update: Sh*t is Real!!! - A wild crocodile swallowed a 10-year-old girl while she played in a river (hmm, wasn’t that the dog’s name from the last story?) with her father in eastern Indonesia, the second death in the same place in two months, a local official said Friday. The girl was swimming in Wailolong river on Thursday when the large crocodile suddenly appeared, swallowed her instantly and disappeared into the water, said Viktor Mado Waton, Lembata district head in East Nusa Tenggara province. "They only found the girl's clothes three hours after the incident, some 200 meters away from the attack site," he said, adding that her family members were still trying to find the body. "Her father saw this shocking scene as he was only five meters away in the water." He said the father and the girl's teenage brother were hunting turtles in the river while she was playing. A 12-year-old boy was killed and eaten by a crocodile in the same river in early December when he was playing with his friends. The district head said he has warned locals of the danger and he will work with police to shut the area off to prevent another incident. A truly tragic story… but in an environment where numbers are high & food supply is scarce, animals will get VERY aggressive in order to survive. That’s scientific fact. Say what you will about my conspiracy theories of reptiles forming an evil legion of Doom or something… but I’m just saying that it’s a real issue. My condolences to the little girl’s family. Be safe out there!

Anyway, how’s that for some uplifting news? Tune in next time when I talk about crazy things going on in other countries… and perhaps even a brand new movie list. What? Can it be so? Absolutely! Courtesy of C-Real who started up the idea… thanks for joining the ever expanding universe of the Eclectic Eccentric. Have a great day everybody!!!