Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Izzy & I had a wonderful opportunity to see a preview
screening of a movie that I have been waiting YEARS to be released… and that is
the latest movie from the DC Comics Cinematic Universe “Suicide Squad” from
director David Ayer (“End of Watch”, “Fury” & “Sabotage”)!!! Now, for those
who may not be aware… the Suicide Squad was a comic book series where a group
of DC Villains are assembled by Amanda “The Wall” Waller (I’m not sure what her
official title is other than “bad b**ch who runs sh*t” but something like
director of some secret government agency) to basically use their powers to
save the day as kind of… forced mercenaries (think Snake Pliskin in “Escape
from NY”). In this movie, when Midway City is under a “terrorist attack” /
Incan Witch Gods set on destroying humans, Amanda (Viola Davis) must assemble a
team to take them out because… I guess Batman & Superman are busy in their
own movie? Anyway, she assembles a team featuring the legendary mercenary
Deadshot (Will Smith), the Joker’s ladyfriend Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie),
Killer Croc (Adewale), Slipknot (Adam Beach cameo), Captain Boomerang (why does
Hollywood like Jai Courtney?), Diablo (Jay Hernandez), Kitana (not Miho from
Sin City), and led by decorated officer Rick Flagg (Joel Kinnaman)… who also
happens to be banging the lady who one of the witch gods has possessed. Got it?
Good… now let’s go to the Pros & Cons…
What I Liked About this Movie
·
The Premise of the Movie – Look,
I’ve been excited about this movie for years… and it has such great potential…
and some of the aspects really shined. They’re a group of misfits coming
together to do something good. Check. Not all criminals are absolutely evil…
even if all they do is kill a bunch of people with no remorse. Ugh… okay, I’ll
allow it under the right circumstances I guess. The overrunning theme of “bad
b**ch” saying jump through this hoop or I’ll ignite a grenade that’s lodged in
your skull to do her bidding. Dark… I like it. I love Escape from New York…
hell, even L.A. wasn’t too horrible… or “Lockout” / Space Jail which was the
same story (so much so that they had to pay an undisclosed amount to John
Carpenter this past week, but not this movie). What I’m saying is… there’s
potential. This is basically the Guardians of the Galaxy of the D.C. Cinematic
Universe… and in case you forget, they’ll remind you at any moment with
everything from the makeup of the team, the soundtrack, the color schemes, all
that stuff. Seriously, I kinda want to do a side-by-side of the two groups… but
hey, Guardians made a LOT of money… and this movie probably will to.
·
Harley Quinn eye candy – It’s
what she’s there for… let’s be honest. Is her superpower the ability to make a
dead man come as Mick Jagger would say? She’s f**king insane, brings a baseball
bat to a gun & fire fight, doesn’t provide any intel on the situation, and
is constantly getting people killed by trying to escape with her boyfriend but…
DAT ASS!!! GIVE THAT ASS A SPIN-OFF MOVIE!!! Oh wait, they already are… so
yeah, for being an absolutely pointless character in the actual movie, I can’t
wait for all the drunk chicks dressed as trailer trash with a baseball bat with
their boyfriends dressed as Li’l Wayne meets David Bowie during Halloween this
year… but more on that other guy later.
·
Will Smith – The man is Hollywood
gold. He can act, he has all the charisma in the world… and when he’s not
making sons for his son Jaden to ruin, he’s always making money for producers
around the world. Without him, this movie never gets made. Maybe some half-ass
version of it but… he really ends up leading this movie. Between him &
Viola Davis as Amanda Waller, that’s really 80% of the actual acting going on
in this movie, I think. Also, action-wise, the scene where Deadshot goes solo
ape sh*t on the army of “tar monsters” or whatever they are… easily the high
point of this movie. It’s what the whole movie should have been.
·
The Soundtrack –
There’s a pretty prevalent theory out there that if your movie is sh*t, as long
as you spend a lot of money on easily recognizable songs that keep people
vested in the movie, you should do okay. Guardians did this. Deadpool did as
well. However, there’s a very thin line before overcompensating and making a
soundtrack absolutely ridiculous & annoying. Now… I have the soundtrack as
something that I like on this movie because… it was okay. However, there were
quite a number of points in the movie where I thought “this song doesn’t work
here, there should be an orchestral score or something else… the music is
stealing the scene, not complimenting it.” You’ll know the scenes when you
see/hear them… but yeah, I’ll allow it in this case.
What I Didn’t Like About This Movie
·
“The Threat” – Look,
I’m giving the drama introduced in this movie a pass because you need conflict
for the movie to work. I get that. My question throughout the movie though was…
okay, so a little backstory, the Enchantress & her Brother (Incan Witch God
things) are these super powerful beings, thousands of years old, and are
reawakened in present day Midway City. Humans no longer fear them… so they are
devising this weapon to destroy all humans… and apparently it takes the
Enchantress several hours of belly dancing & levitating about a hundred
tanks & hummers in a giant orb a few hundred feet in the sky over a
skyscraper to create this weapon while… her brother scratches himself in the
corner? Okay, I dig it. What is this weapon? What could it possibly be that
will destroy all humans? I mean… it’s not like they’ve been tearing through
them like tissue paper anytime they approach them, or turning them into an army
of tar monsters as I mentioned before. The weapon… is basically just a way to
blast satellites… and satellite dishes… apparently knocking out our
communications links & making it so the citizens of Midway City (and I
assume the world) can’t play Pokemon Go. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Where’s Superman???
Is he at another congressional meeting??? (slaps forehead)
·
The Joker – Look… I admire that
Jared Leto has gone full method acting into being a crazy f**k while preparing
& playing the Joker role. I get it. I also know that without Joker &
Batman playing a part in this movie you’re left with… Rick Flagg played by
Robocop reboot guy (who actually did pretty damn good in my opinion but… kinda
thought he looked like a meth head most of the time) and you need it to tie
into the cinematic universe that they’re making. I know why the Joker is in the
movie… but this Joker is not the Joker. In this movie, Joker is all psycho…
with no fun or flair or charisma. Frankly, no idea why Harley Quinn or anybody
would enjoy being in the same room as this guy… less fall in psychotic love
with him. This Joker just seems so f**king angry all the time & is not
enjoying himself, which is kind of the basis of his entire character. That
f**king annoying laugh of his is the perfect example. Think of a good Joker
laugh! You’re thinking of Mark Hamill’s from the animated series probably,
right? Not the laughing pocket thing from Jack Nicholson’s pocket once the
batteries wore out of the first Batman movie. He’s just not intimidating… or
likeable… or anything that Joker should be. The love story with Harley is just
more disturbing than anything relatable. I get it… their mental health is
lacking. Also, he dresses horribly… but hey, colorful, right?
·
Captain Boomerang – WHY
DOES HOLLYWOOD INSIST ON JAI COURTNEY??? He’s just not good! Also, the
character is an Australian guy with mutton chops who throws boomerangs. Okay.
What else you got? Oh, he chugs random beers in almost every scene? Awesome.
What else you got? He carries a pink unicorn stuffy? You stole that from
Deadpool! Why? Ugh… okay, well at least he does something at some point in the
movie to help out in any way, right? NO!?!?!?!
·
Killer Croc – Sigh… do you remember
Jamie Foxx as Electro in “The Amazing Spider-Man”? I’m fairly certain that they
just adjusted the color of the costume from blue to green to make this
character. Poor Adewale probably had to be in makeup for like six hour each
day… to do little more than move like one of the monkeys from “Congo” and try
his damnedest to make intelligible words come out of his mouth. He was supposed
to be the Drax the Destroyer of the group but… ugh… nope. Bane was more
intelligible than Killer Croc.
·
Adam Beach Cameo – Poor
Slipknot… played by Native American actor Adam Beach (“Windtalkers”) but… well,
let’s just say that when you’re introduced really late in the movie & your
superpower is being “able to climb anything” that you might as well be wearing
a red shirt in a Star Trek episode.
Overall Impression - I would definitely check out the
movie. Thanks to the marketing & PG-13 rating and all the stuff that came
up recently… I went into this movie was some low expectations, especially
considering the badass potential of the premise. Jesus… WILL SMITH IS IN THIS
MOVIE!!! MARGOT ROBBIE!!! Tom Hardy was almost in this movie until he was
replaced with Robocop last minute. Amanda Waller makes her debut!!! JOKER &
BATMAN!!! The movie was better than my low expectation… but not as good as what
it could have been. Typical middle of the road stuff… and frankly, there are a
few good scenes… and a few scenes that’ll make you question who the f**k made
this movie (slow motion in the finale keeps popping up in my mind as “WHYYYY?”)
but overall, compared to a lot of other movies out there, this wasn’t bad.
There were… mixed reviews in the theatre that I watched it in afterwards… but
more positive than negative. I hope there’s a good R-rated version of this
movie coming out with the Director’s Cut but… I’m sure it’ll be middle of the
road as well. Still though… DAT ASS!!!
Anyway, just a few thoughts to throw at you before you go
& see the movie this weekend. Let me know what you think… maybe you’ll get
a shout-out on the Everything I Learned From Movies Podcast!!! Have a great day
everybody!!
