SMOKEY ROBINSON TOMORROW NIGHT!!!

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Not a whole lot of news from the past few days...except that I WILL be attending the Smokey Robinson concert this coming Friday at Red Butte Gardens...and I won't be alone. Who will I be going with? Well, you can guess. Here's a big hint. She's the Love of my life thus far (and probably forever). No, not my niece Kairi...but you're close. They hang out a lot. Give up? Oh, you guess it right the first time? Oh okay, yeah, it's my mom. So yeah, I'll be going to see THE Smokey Robinson in concert tomorrow night...with my mom & stepdad. We'll be packing up a picnic blanket & a box of wine or two and get hammered listening to one of the legends of Motown well into his sixties. It'll be like THE Reverend Al Green last September...only Smokier. It's gonna be AWESOME!!! Expect pictures over the weekend.

Also, I'm starting to formulate a plan for a trip to LA in November for a sci-fi convention. "But $teve, you're not a complete nerd! Why would you want to go to a science-fiction convention?" I'm glad you asked...and thanks for not assuming I'm a complete nerd. The truth is...I am a nerd...to a certain extent. This convention is for one of my favorite shows that only lasted a year (thanks to Fox's death timeslot on Friday nights) called "Firefly" perhaps you've heard of it. They made a movie from it too called "Serenity." You've more than likely heard of that. There will also be a convention for something called Star Trek next door to this one (so plenty of people watching). This convention is also being held across the street from where Lilie works...so it's an excuse to go see her...and to go to Cali...and I'm hoping the Wingmans will want to come with me...because all we need is an excuse to go to Cali for a weekend or something. JL Clyde will be going too. So yeah, if anybody else is interested in going, just let me know & we'll help set you up. You can meet half the cast of "Firefly" and I can't wait to ask Morena Baccarin, "Is that a penis in your pants?" (It's a Sunny in Philadelphia joke...and she played that part in the pilot...hilarious, check the special features) Don't worry, I'll wait until I've had my fill of the convention so that when security throws me out, it'll be okay. May also spend a few days in Orange County or San Diego or something too. You've gotta make it worth the drive out there, right? I'll keep ya posted.

Over the past few days, I've been doing a lot of errands and watching a lot of movies. I'll actually start with the one that I watched last night "L.A. Confidential" since it has to do with L.A. For those of you who haven't seen this, please check it out. It's a great cop drama murder mystery type movie with a star studded cast that includes Russell Crowe, Guy Pearce, Kevin Spacey, Sir James Cromwell, Kim Basinger and Danny DeVito among others. The story based off the James Ellroy novel and is set in 1950's Hollywood when a string of murders climaxes in the Nite Owl Massacre at a local coffee shop, involving cops, prostitutes that look like movie stars and a lot of unanswered questions. It's followed by a string of corruption, lies, drugs, sex...and even more murder...and the good guys have to come in to clean up the streets...but are they all good guys? How deep does this thing go? Check out the flick to find out. Ladies, did I mention that Russell Crowe is in it? Gentlemen, did I mention that Kim Basinger is in it? Check it out.

The other day, while hanging with my dad, I watched "Strange Days" starring Ralph Fiennes, Juliette Lewis, Angela Bassett and Tom Sizemore. It's an early nineties flick set in the future (evening of Y2K). Again, in Los Angeles, there's murder, sex, drugs, all the stuff as fifty years earlier in the last flick...but this one has a twist. A former cop (Fiennes) sells these DVD's called SQUIDs that actually beam memories & experiences directly through somebody's brain so that they can have that experience...and of course, it's basically like a high-tech drug and has a whole underground movement. Well, during the last day of the millennium, another conspiracy involving the LAPD, a slain rapper (not 2Pac), call girls, an ex-girlfriend (Lewis), her new drug running beau (James Remar), his private investigator buddy (Sizemore), his limo driving friend (Bassett) and a slough of others come to fruition. Now, I'll admit, this is no LA Confidential. It's...fairly predictable...and the acting isn't incredible or anything...and nothing really new...but still okay. I guess the most interesting thing about the movie is the concept of the DVDs that play in your mind so that you not only see what they see...but feel what they feel in that moment too. We're almost to that point in technology (so the movie's a little 2001 Space Odyssey in that respect) but it's probably only a matter of time before the next evolution of the Blu-Ray or PS5 or whatever comes out to where we can star in our own porno or win an NBA championship or climb Everest or rob a bank or club a baby seal or whatever purely in the confines of our mind. Stay tuned. Oooh, speaking of future technologies that may damn the human race...

Cloning Update - Five clones of a search and rescue dog which helped locate people trapped in the rubble of the 9/11 attacks were formally presented to their ancestor's former handler. James Symington, a former Canadian police officer, who choked back tears as he formally took possession of the five descendants of his beloved German shepherd named Trakr, who died in April. Symington was presented with Trakr's offspring after winning a competition organized by California firm BioArts International -- the "Golden Clone Giveaway" -- to find the world's most "cloneworthy" dog. Symington said he hopes the puppies -- Trustt, Valor, Prodigy, Solace and Déjà Vu -- will go on to follow in Trakr's footsteps. "We're here to celebrate that Trakr's legacy lives on in these five beautiful puppies," he told reporters. "If they have the same attributes Trakr did, then hopefully they'll develop into world class search and rescue dogs." Symington and Trakr arrived at the site of the World Trade Center collapse, commonly referred to as Ground Zero, on September 12, 2001 and were one of the first K9 search and rescue teams on the scene. After working nearly non-stop for 48 hours, Trakr located the last human survivor found in the rubble of the twin towers. "Trakr was an extraordinary search and rescue dog. His work at Ground Zero was the culmination of his career," Symington said. BioArts International, which says it offers the world's first commercial dog cloning service, partnered with South Korea's SooAm Biotech Research Foundation to clone Trakr under the direction of scientist Hwang Woo-Suk. BioArts International chief executive Lou Hawthorne said canine cloning would remain beyond the reach of ordinary pet lovers, with cloned dogs costing an average $144,000 each. Hawthorne defended the right of people to clone their dogs instead of obtaining new pets from rescue shelters. "I think 99 percent of the time people should get their pets from shelters...but can we agree though that one percent of the time if you have a one in a million dog and you have the money to pay for it, you should be able to go to either a breeder or a cloner?" Hawthorne said Trakr had been chosen for cloning because of his heroics on 9/11. "We received many very touching submissions to our contest, describing some truly amazing dogs," he said. "But Trakr's story blew us away." Symington meanwhile said that one member of his new litter -- Trustt -- was an exact replica of Trakr (even with horrible spelling of their name...which must be some sort of acronym). "The physical similarities are uncanny. He's the spitting image of the Trakr that I first met in 1995. He has exactly the same markings, the way he moves, everything. Very alert, very intelligent and intuitive. I respect that cloning's not for everyone...but there are few dogs that are born with extraordinary abilities and Trakr was one of those dogs. I look forward to the day that these puppies can follow in Trakr's footsteps and play an important role in other rescues, like Trakr did." So there you have it, a touching story of man meets dog, dogs saves many, man loses dog to natural causes, other man plays God, God brings back many dogs, man reunited with dogs...and it's been a while since I've read this story...but I think it usually ends in the dogs become self-aware or possessed by the scientific equivalent of Satan or some mutation causing incredible power and/or rage towards humans ending in bloodshed. Or they live happily ever after. Depending on if it's a Disney production or an adaptation of a short story by Philip K. Dick. I hope it's the Disney production...and I love dogs...but not $144,000 worth. I'll share my Love with another mutt for a nominal neutering fee. There's plenty to go around. Sorry Bogi...and X...and Zurich...and Bronto...and Stubby...

Speaking of things rising from the dead, a few nights ago, I also watched a CLASSIC for the first time in probably a decade or so, in the epic four-hour tale of "Ben Hur" starring Charlton Heston and Stephen Boyd. Set in the holy land during the time of Jesus (who makes a few important cameos), it's the story of a Jewish prince Judah Ben Hur (Heston) who meets up with his best friend (Boyd) who has returned to the land of Judea after being in Rome for many years. Their reunion is bittersweet to say the least, as his friend is the new muscle of the Roman empire and within a day their relationship goes from best friends reunited...to bitter enemies. Judah & his family are thrown in jail...and what follows is a tale of vengeance, action, traveling all over the world, divine intervention, chariot races, betrayal, Jesus, Rome (which made me want to go for a third time...because that place is AWESOME), love, heartbreak, this movie has everything...and it should being four hours long. Do they even do movies with intermissions and entr'actes anymore? Like Sound of Music & Dr Zhivago? I guess nowadays they just split into the sequels and trilogies like Kill Bill, the Lord of the Rings and the Matrix. It's more profitable that way...but yeah, nowadays attention spans are stretched to the max at two-and-a-half hours...and that's for the most willing of us movie goers. Hmm, maybe I'll have to bring back the Intermission. Then again, if the lights turn back on during the middle of my movie, the floor would be extra sticky...and I might have to give ample warning so that people can put their clothes back on. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh yeah, Jesus. He's in this movie (sort of) so yeah, check it out if you haven't already. It's in my Biblical Movie List (silver medal I believe). Gosh, haven't done one of those in a while either. Somebody give me a topic for a movie list. I can't think of one on my own. I think I've done like fifty already.

Anyway, I think that'll do it for me for tonight. Hope you all enjoyed my future techno-zombie clone movie reviews & news updates...and basked in my nerdiness over short-lived science-fiction television series.and Motown singers that peaked before my dad knew his time tables...but I like it. I'm going to see one of the few people that I would consider paying money to see perform tomorrow night...and I'm going to spend some time in California hanging with friends and witnessing other nerds that somehow make me feel not so nerdy. It's gonna be awesome. Again, let me know if you're interested...and until then, have a great day everybody!!! I'll just be here...off the record, on the QT, and very...hush hush.

The New Superhero, Gilgal

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

I wanted to start by wishing a happy birthday over the weekend to Alisa, Filly, Lemons, my buddy Chris' little girl...and today to Mrs Wingman. Just a lot of happy birthdays this week. Today was also Be A Man Day apparently...so yeah, I did what I set out to do the other day. I went to work, changed the oil in my car (needs to be registered again), watched a movie with my dad, clubbed a baby seal, ate some meat (tilapia that my stepmom made, delicious), and then watched Ben Hur. That's about the extent of it. Awesome, right?

While watching TV with my dad, I saw a preview for the scary movie of the week coming out called "Orphan" about a little girl who, I don't know, is either possessed by the devil or just completely psychotic...just evil though...but it's basically a remake of "The Omen" with a little girl instead of a creepy boy. So I got to thinking...and I wonder if the working title of this movie was something like "W-Omen" because it's The Omen...with a girl. I can only imagine the kind of flack the studio gave them if that were the case. "Do you have any idea what the National Organization of Women will do if we release a horror flick about a possessed demon girl called "Women"?" "It's not Women, it's W-Omen. Wo-Omen! Why can't anybody else see the distinction?" "Really? Because I'm looking at one of the preliminary poster designs...and I'm not exactly a Rhodes Scholar or anything...but I'm pretty sure that I'm reading Women...with a big f**king O!!! As in Oh my God, I can't believe you actually think this would work." "Well, what would you suggest? I don't want to call my work something stupid like that...American Haunting in Eastern Vermont or whatever the hell those movies are." "It's okay. We'll come up with something. Let's see, we didn't pay any royalties to the Omen...so we wouldn't want that name anyway...but something similar...something that, I'VE GOT IT!!! ORPHAN!!!" "But she's not an orphan, she's the daughter of Satan." "SO??? He's in Hell with a bunch of other deadbeat fathers. We're going with Orphan." "It's gonna take a few extra scenes to show..." "Blah blah blah, make it happen director boy. You're budgeted for two days of reshoots and don't ever come into my office again trying to pitch a movie like that. If you come in next year with a movie called Dog Fight Club, I'll have you deported." You know, sometimes I wonder if I'm the only person that has these whole nonsensical theoretical discussions that probably never happened...except in my mind. Whether it's the Kiffins Christmas dinner discussions, bits from the Happily Ever After phase of fairy tales, or just random smart ass remarks...but I hope you enjoy them as much as I do. Anyway, here's some news...

Biggest Pants - Maybe I need to go back to the homeland of Eastern Europe to find some pants that fit right. A pair of jeans the size of six tennis courts, stitched together from thousands donated for charity, should be recognized by Guinness World Records as the biggest pair anywhere (and could contain the biggest pair anywhere as well...like Guns of Navaronne balls), organizers said on Sunday. "We've made the world's largest pair of jeans!" the Cockta (tehehe) Jeans Fashion project said on its website. "People were bringing in their old jeans... and sponsors were immediately giving money for humanitarian purposes," project head Boris Juric told national television. The denims were put on display in Croatia's capital Zagreb on Saturday after they were assembled from 8,023 unwanted pairs and auctioned off over the last few months. They have a leg length of 45 meters (148 feet) and a total width of 34 meters and were sewn up in a local factory. For each pair of donated jeans, the project paid seven kunas (1.30 dollars or 90 euro cents) to a local association providing therapy to disabled people, so about $10,000 were raised. It's great to see old jeans to go use. This pants would be perfect for me if they were 34 x 45 inches instead of meters...but alas, I'll just have to look for miniature versions.

Rat Island - Alaska's Rat Island is finally rat-free, 229 years after a Japanese shipwreck spilled rampaging rodents onto the remote Aleutian island, decimating the local bird population. How did this happen? How did these rats disappear after over two centuries of dominance? Well, after dropping poison onto the island from helicopter-hoisted buckets for a week and a half last autumn, there are no signs of living rats...and some birds have returned, according to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. Rats have ruled the island since 1780, when they jumped off a sinking Japanese ship and terrorized all but the largest birds on the island. The incident introduced the non-native Norway rat -- also known as the brown rat -- to Alaska. The $2.5 million Rat Island eradication project, a joint effort between the U.S. federal government, the Nature Conservancy and Island Conservation, is one of the world's most ambitious attempts to remove destructive alien species from an island (second only to the continuing eradication of Martians invaders from the island of America). Now there are signs that several species of birds, including Aleutian cackling geese, ptarmigan, peregrine falcons and black oystercatchers, are starting to nest again on the 10-square-mile (26-sq-km) island. It is too soon to say that Rat Island is definitively rat-free, however. That can only be established after at least two years of monitoring, said Bruce Woods, a spokesman for the Fish and Wildlife Service in Anchorage. "We don't know that there's not a couple of happy rats hiding away that are going to spring out and repopulate the island," he said. Well, if I were the only male left to repopulate a species, I suppose I would be a happy rat too. So yeah, while some wildlife societies set out to save animals, others eradicate them. The difference - Cuteness. Nobody likes brown rats. Brown rats date outside of their species because they can't stand them. However, we can at least tolerate cackling geese...and peregrine falcons are badass. I'm not even sure what a ptarmigan is...but I'm sure it has an exhibit at Sea World. Is there a special exhibit for brown Norwegian rats? Nope. Hence why they were poisoned for over a week. Just a thought I like to throw out whenever PETA and other wildlife conservation communities give me flack. Now the new question is...what to rename the island? Might I suggest $tevonia? Yes, my own little ten square mile principality that's still within the borders of the United States...but probably stinking rich with minerals. Not only that...but possibly a superspecies of rodent immune to poison. Yes, this could be interesting. I could rule with an iron fist over the Aleutians...with peregrine falcon on my shoulder and surrounded by an army of mutant rats.

Panda Update - Continuing on with my loyal army of animals, a committee of the Zoological Park Organization of Thailand has picked four names from thousands of entries submitted from all over the country for the new female baby panda at Chiang Mai Zoo (and the first born in Thailand). The four names on the shortlist are Ying Ying, Thai-Jeen, Lin Ping and Khwan Thai (I have no idea what they mean like "Beautiful Forest" or anything). People throughout the country can vote for one of the four names by sending a postcard to the naming committee. The postcards will be on sale in Bangkok and nearby provinces on June 19 and in other provinces on June 22. The baby panda's name will be announced on Aug 12th, Mother's Day (in Thailand...but every day is Mother's Day in $tevonia). So yeah, if you're in Thailand, cast your vote today. I'm glad that my Panda Porn once again is helping to save the species...so that we can one day rule.

Okay, maybe I've had enough of this omnipotent imagination stuff today. Here are some pictures from my adventures with JL Clyde on Sunday including the 337 Project & Gilgal Park. No, Gilgal is an artist not the female equivalent of Aquaman. He made these rock sculptures at a secret location near Trolley Square. I'd be happy to show you where. Enjoy...

337 Project in the heart of Rose Park

I'd pay to see a bear fight a giant rooster

The Blue Plate Diner - Good eats...

...and a velvet Elvis

Gilgal Sculpture Gardens

Meet Joseph Sphinx

The sculptor, Mr Gilgal

A Bird Hotel

Oh...and there's a garden too

Have a great day everybody!!!

Tread Softly Because You Tread on my Dreams

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, last night was an okay night. I ended up...well, not doing a whole lot except watching movies and the rain & thunderstorms. After a few movies, I just stood on my balcony looking towards downtown, sipping a Hornsby's Hard Apple Cider, watching the torrents of liquid sky fall to the Earth. Occasionally there you could see the electric boogaloo of the heavens towards the mountains flash through the wall of rain & light pollution...like trying to read neon through a sheet of frosted glass...just making out enough to know what it was...and let the imagination take over from there. Forms of craggy peaks, skyscrapers, clouds, illuminated only for a split second, then back to the frosty wet pane & its sweet fragrance...and then the low rumble of one of God's balls striking his celestial pins. (It's him bowling. You know that, right?) I think I stood out there for about an hour watching (except for going in for another Hornsby's here & there) but I really like the rain. As luck would have it, we've had more of it today as well here in Utah...and even on the Revival of the One Day Photo Project...but that's for another blog for you to check out, maybe loading those pictures (and stories) tomorrow. Today, I don't have much to say other than to tell you to tune into to that tomorrow...and review a few movies that I've seen in the moist weather. Yes, Jewels. I said moist...and I thought of you cringing as you read it when I typed it out. We miss you. Come visit soon.

The first movie of the evening was "Equilibrium" starring Christian Bale, Taye Diggs, Emily Watson, Sean Bean, Angus MacFadyen (no Scottish Festival today) and William Fichtner. It's set in the not-so-distant future where after the Third World War, society has restructured itself into a peaceful society by denying everybody the root of all evil...emotions. By destroying art, music, books (FINALLY) and anybody caught displaying any form of feeling is strictly punished by death. Humanity is kept null by a drug called Prozium...and there's a police force in place to keep the streets clean of any emotions. When a high-ranking cleric (Bale) misses his dose of Prozium, he finds himself being the one man who can bring humanity back to humanity...by kicking ass in a Batman meets the Matrix style. It's actually a really great flick by director/writer Kurt Wimmer ("Ultraviolet" and the upcoming Jolie flick "Salt") that mixes a lot of great action sequences with a real, hard-hitting story about what makes people human...and what's important in life, actually LIVING. As in the full gamete of human emotions - Love, hate, joy, sorrow, all the highs & lows & everything in between. It's a great flick and I suggest that you all check it out.

The second movie had a surprisingly similar message to it...but was completely different...and oddly enough, also starred Emily Watson. That movie was "Synecdoche, New York" from writer/director Charlie Kaufman ("Being John Malkovich" & "Adaptation") and starred Philip Seymour Hoffman, Catherine Keener, Jennifer Jason Leigh, and Dianne Wiest. It's about a theatre director (Hoffman) who's wife left him and took his four-year old daughter with her...at about the same time that he wins a MacArthur grant (you know, for us geniuses...my check must be in the mail) and starts production on a play based on his life that is going to bring truth to the stage. To do this, he has a warehouse-sized venue in Manhattan where he's building a set that keeps expanding, with more locations, more characters, more confusion of relationships and character motivations. To watch this movie is to watch something completely different from the norm. The characters are not what you expect, time & reality seems to jump around a bit, if you walk in halfway and ask "What did I miss?" you are f**ked. Nobody will be able to explain it to you. However, the ending message is very similar to Equilibrium in that you can't merely record and try to reproduce life for others to see. You have to get out there and live it. It's done much more eloquently and artistically in this movie than I could ever hope to type out on this blog...but that's a little of what I got from it. I would say check it out if you're looking for a movie with a message that...well, kind of makes you feel bad for sitting around and watching the movie for two hours when you should be out finding the Love of your life or helping others in need or something more worthwhile. However, if you want a similar feeling...with Christian Bale kicking ass with swords AND guns, then I would suggest "Equilibrium" over this...just to keep you more entertained & less confused. Great flicks both though. Just completely different.

Now for a not so great flick, I simply watched a movie that starred the great Sir Ben Kingsley. I kind of feel sorry for this guy...and I hope that he's compensated well for some of the movies that he does. Sure, back in 1983, he played Gandhi and that certified his knighthood & established him as a respected actor forever like Orson Wells in "Citizen Kane." However, since then, what are some of the good flicks that he's been in? Bugsy was pretty good, but he was a bit role. Sneakers? Dave? Schindler's List? I liked "Species" a lot. Then there's the list of simply horrible movies like Bloodrayne, Lucky Number Slevin, Suspect Zero, The Love Guru, You Kill Me, and What Planet Are You From? and this one, in which he does a great acting job...but the stories are just crap. I even have this Sound of Thunder one on Netflix that has dinosaurs & time travel in the summary...but it has two stars on the reviews & Sir Ben Kingsley so I'm kind of dreading having to watch it...and yes, I must watch it...because it has Dinosaurs & Time Travel.

Where was I? Oh yes, the movie I'm talking about is called "Sexy Beast" and it stars the aforementioned Kingsley, Ray Winstone (voice of "Beowulf") and Ian McShane. The story is about a retired safecracker (Winstone) who is living the happy life in a Spanish villa with his beautiful wife and friends...until he's recruited by a brutal gangster (Kingsley) for one last job. Obviously he doesn't want to do it...but the gangster isn't going to take no for an answer...so what's going to happen? What do you think is going to happen? You may be right...but then you'd miss out on Kingsley being creepy and childish all at the same time...which is even creepier...and a lot of English accents and colloquialisms so you can barely understand what the hell is going on...like the movie should have subtitles saying what they mean and not what they're mumbling. I would honestly just say pass on this movie...and if Ben Kingsley shows up at your door and insists on it, then maybe humor him since it's only 90 minutes...but be sure to tell him to quit making sh*tty movies. He's just too great of a guy to have to whore himself out like that. Anyway, stay tuned for a review of "The Sound of Thunder" probably coming next week.

That should do it for today. Got some photos to take & Bubbles is still in town so maybe we'll hang out for a few, get some drinks like we do in Vegas, just earlier in the day. I hope that you're all having a great weekend and remember, Father's Day is just a week away. Be sure to show the big guy how much you care. Have a great day everybody!!! Stay dry...unless you like the rain like I do.

Signs of the Apocalypse - Part Deux

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

So the game was a tease last night. The Magic were doing good...and then they sucked...and then were kind of good again...and then sucked again...and that damned Derek Fisher was left WIDE open (I'd much rather have Kobe hit a three pointer to tie it up than that guy) to send it into OT...and the Magic decided to not even show up for that. (Sigh...) Anyway, the NBA Draft's in less than two weeks and my favorite, the WNBA just started up again. So at least that's cool. Sue Bird's still playing, right? She hasn't retired to a cabin in the woods with her burly mountain man Dr Mookie Love yet? Good good good. I still have time to build the cabin and buy some flannel. Speaking of burly men in flannel, the Utah Scottish Heritage Festival starts today as well in Thanksgiving Point in Lehi, Utah...and continues tomorrow. I may go check it out...but I'm not going alone...so we'll see. Also, tomorrow's the Revival of the One Day Photo Project, so anybody else interested in contributing, let us know. Without further ado, here's some news...

Signs of the Apocalypse, Part 2 - (Yes Filly, the picture's for you) This is a continuation of what may soon become a series on this blog. A few months ago, I noticed these trends...and it's getting worse. Though a hot abortion activist once told me, "You really shouldn't joke about the Apocalypse" I am going to bring up a few signs...and it's really not a joke...but it's a defense mechanism. Apparently the David Carradine "suicide" at first reports REALLY DID turn out to be involved in some crazy sh*t in Thailand. The first statements were "we can confirm that he was hanging by his neck in the closet" but they didn't mention that he was hanging by his neck...and his genitals. That's pretty important information. If you're going to kill yourself, why would you hang by your wang too? Are you mad at him? Is he always running the show...and it has to stop? Are you two going out like Thelma & Louise? So yeah, apparently it's shady and the Carradine family is trying to get the FBI involved. I hope they get to the bottom of it...but it's not gonna be easy, I wouldn't think. So yeah, Grasshopper was assassinated. We also have our first official pandemic in over forty years with this Swine Flu, so please stay healthy out there. I'd hate for the Pig Cold to wipe out humanity. If only there was a more...dare I say...manly way to go out...yet not a nuclear holocaust or something like that. If only there was a way for humanity to flame out naturally in an epic battle of some sort...

SNAKES TAKE HOSTAGES!!! - Police in Sierra Leone have called in the army and fire brigade to try to take back control of a police station which has been overrun by hundreds of venomous snakes. Snake charmers have tried in vain to lure the beasts, mostly cobras and vipers, out of Gerihun police station in the southern district of Bo (perhaps soon to be renamed Boa). Attempts to smoke them out also failed...only pissing them off further. Officers and residents wanting to report crimes have grown too afraid to come to the building. "Even during work time when statements are being taken, these snakes can come out in dozens. Inhabitants have found it difficult to report cases to the police," station spokesman Brima Kota said. Soldiers and fire fighters had been dispatched from the capital Freetown and would try to flood out the snakes, believed to number as many as 400, he said. (Ugh...THEY CAN SWIM) Wild animals have regularly had run-ins with villagers in remote, thickly forested parts of Sierra Leone, particularly in settlements where humans have only recently returned after fleeing the country's 10-year civil war. Paramilitary police were drafted in to protect villagers in Bo from wild bush cows (really?) after a farmer was gored to death a few years ago, while rampaging elephants killed eight people and chased 600 from their homes in the east not long before that (okay, that one I can understand). Hundreds of snakes have taken a police station hostage...sending this nation rich with diamonds into complete chaos...and forcing them to retreat to the wilderness with the wild bush cows & elephants...possibly to form an alliance to fight back. SNAKES!!! Taking over a Police Station!!! It's "Snakes on a Plane" meets "Precinct 13" meets a creepy dream. Oh...and don't think that it's just happening in third world countries either...

SNAKES ON A GLADE!!! - The population of Burmese pythons in Florida's Everglades may have grown to as many as 150,000 as the non-native snakes make a home and breed in the fragile wetlands, officials said on Thursday. How did this happen? Wildlife biologists say the troublesome invaders were dumped in the Everglades by pet owners who no longer want them (and also pet shops destroyed in storms) and have become a pest and pose a significant threat to endangered species like the wood stork and Key Largo woodrat. "They eat things that we care about," said Skip Snow, an Everglades National Park biologist, as he showed a captured, 15-foot (4.6-meter) Burmese python to U.S. Interior Secretary Ken Salazar, who was on his first fact-finding mission to the Everglades since the Obama administration took office. With Snow (snake-hater & woodrat enthusiast) maintaining a strong grip on its head, the massive snake hissed angrily at Salazar and the other federal officials who gathered around it at a recreation area off Alligator Alley in the vast saw grass prairie. It took two other snake wranglers to control the python's body. "A snake this size could eat a small deer or a bobcat without too much trouble," Snow told Salazar before the secretary boarded an airboat for a tour of the Everglades. Everglades biologists have been grappling with the growing python problem for a DECADE. The snakes are one of the largest species in the world and natives of Southeast Asia, but they found a home to their liking in the Everglades when pet owners started using the wetland as a convenient dumping ground. "They're fine when they're small but they can live 25 to 30 years. When they get bigger you have to feed them small animals like rabbits, and cleaning up after them, it's like cleaning up after a horse. People don't want big snakes."

I happen to know more than a few ladies that would actually like a big trouser snake at home...but that's not the argument here. Ladies & gentlemen, I hate to say that I told you so...but again, I am proven correct. If you're going to just give your pets away...give them away to somebody who wants them. In this case, instead of thousands of you dropping off your Burmese Python to either die by natural causes or doom the human race...why not donate him to your local belt maker or cobbler? Two problems are solved...and at no cost to you...or the environment. The same goes with those extra puppies, kittens, turtles, guinea pigs, whatever. Have you ever worn guinea pig slippers? They feel MAGNIFICENT!!! Almost as good as eating fried guinea pig with a little red pepper reduction sauce. Okay, maybe that's taking it a little far...but yeah, don't just leave your pythons randomly in the wild to destroy an ecosystem, people. If you don't want them, wear them. Take responsibility for your actions...and be fashionable. Now, if I'm one of those guys that are irked that I can't pelt alligators due to federal regulations and whatnot, I'd be talking to Mr Salazar & see if I can get some kind of license to hunt these pythons...and then sell their hides off to Prada & Gucci and whoever to make some nice purses. This could be a blessing in disguise...or the damnation of all Christians to the Power of the Serpent!!! What now, PETA???

Be A Man Day - Two Indiana men have declared Monday "National Man Day" only to find there's already a romantic holiday that falls on that date. Nineteen-year-old Joel Longanecker (barely a man himself) and his 26-year-old brother Aaron have for months been rallying thousands to their masculine cause on Facebook. More than 260,000 people have pledged to "stand up and do manly things" on Man Day...but it turns out June 15 is also "Sneak a Kiss Day," a day for sweethearts to steal smooches from their sweeties. The Man Day organizers urge participants to take part in "manly" activities such as football, hunting or watching Rocky movies. They claim real men don't "sneak" kisses. True, real men don't sneak kisses...but we'll thieve the sh*t out of them & take what we can get. We'll pillage those kisses like Vikings sweeping across the globe. To the young men (I say because they're technically younger than me) who are leading this movement, Kudos!!! I will be sure to join your cause later today on Facebook...and do manly things on Monday. For example, I plan to wake up with a raging hard-on (and I mean RAGING!!!), scratch appropriately, take a morning deuce...with the door open, shower without a luffe, dress in manly attire, go to work for at least eight hours, admire the eye candy accordingly, buy lunch (as opposed to cook it), drive home, grill up a steak on the balcony (care to join me...ladies?), eat some potato chips with the fattiest dip that I can find, watch an R-rated movie starring some lady that I fantasize about having sex with, while drinking an alcoholic beverage...possibly simple rubbing alcohol...and maybe finish the day off with the clubbing of a baby seal. You know, just to show who runs this planet. Sorry, did I say baby seal? I meant hunt down some of these Burmese pythons and save the human race...again. Does that sound like a plan?

What's the number one sign that the Apocalypse is upon us though? Well, I may have a budding social life in the romantic nature. Fingers crossed and all...but if all goes well, this will certainly be a sign that humanity is lost and the heavens will rain fire and serpents will swallow the Earth whole in a completely non-sexy manner. However, maybe that's just me being a little pessimistic...and maybe I'll just have a fun time with a beautiful lady...and who knows from there? Worst case, it falls through and I can grab me a haggis at the Scottish Festival tomorrow...or some fresh produce at Farmers Market. Have a great day everybody!!!

Prick Love For Pricking

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Not a whole helluva lot to talk about personally. Probably gonna go see Game 4 of the Finals with my dad tonight. My mom's in Cali on business. My brother got a raise at his job, so now he's making more than minimum wage...and raising two kids...with a little help from my mom...but he's working hard and that's what counts. I may have to go see him this weekend...if he's not working...but he probably is. So yeah, rather than bore you with more stuff like that, here's the news...

Like Romeo & Juliet - A modern-day Romeo finally got his girl Monday when the northern Italian city of Verona opened up the balcony where Juliet pined for her lover as a venue for weddings. The 13th century mansion of the Cappello family -- believed to be the Capulets of William Shakespeare's tragic play "Romeo and Juliet" -- has for years been a place of pilgrimage for lovers worldwide, who have scrawled love messages on its walls. Now, Verona's town council is offering couples the chance to follow in the footsteps of Shakespeare's "star-crossed lovers" and see for themselves "what light from yonder window breaks." The first Romeo to take advantage of the offer was soccer player star Luca Ceccarelli, who plays for local team Verona. "I feel very emotional. You know, marriage always gives strong emotions especially in a situation like this," said a beaming Ceccarelli, before exchanging rings with his Juliet, Irene Lamforti. "We hope that this bring us a lot of luck." But it does not come cheaply. A normal civil wedding license in Italy costs about 45 Euros ($64): for non-European citizens the Verona license will cost nearly 900 Euros, with EU non-Verona couples paying approximately 700 Euros. At that price, lovers will hope for a happy ending. I am aware there are a few Shakespeare fans out there reading this, so you're welcome for spreading this knowledge. So when you find your one true love, now you can tie the knot on the same window as the mythical star-crossed lovers. It'll just cost you about $1300 just for the license. Forget about the ceremony, rings, flights, hotel stays...and it's just the two of you (like a secret ceremony...where it's just you two, the priest, and a witness you met at a gelato stand an hour earlier) so yeah, go for it. Live the dream. Still waiting for a space station so that I can have a Star Wars wedding complete with wookies & ewoks...but that may be another decade or so ahead of its time.

Vegas Update - Perhaps a new job opportunity for me down in Vegas just came up. The owner of a Nevada brothel suffering from the recession thinks she has been ignoring about half the market — the half that prefers men. Bobbi Davis is looking for male prostitutes to help expand the clientele at the Shady Lady Ranch (remember them?), her small roadside brothel about 150 miles north of Las Vegas. "We've had requests for men in the past, and there's nothing else like this out there," she said. Indeed, the 25 legal brothels scattered throughout 10 rural Nevada counties are staffed by women and cater to men. The Shady Lady, however, isn't the only one thinking about hiring male prostitutes. Nevada Brothel Association lobbyist George Flint says other brothels have approached him with the idea lately to drum up business. Like Nevada's gambling, hotel and convention industries, the prostitution business has hit hard times. Flint estimates that bordellos have seen a roughly 50% drop in revenue since the economy turned sour. "Business is so bad right now, I think brothels would do anything to survive. Disposable income is just in short supply at the moment," he said. Former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss recently planned to open "Heidi's Stud Farm" near Pahrump, but gave up the effort this year after being arrested on felony drug charges. Flint says other brothels have offered male prostitutes over the years, with little success. He argues that the business model for a brothel that caters to women just doesn't pencil out. "Seducing a woman and seducing a man in a brothel environment are different things completely. One can take a few minutes, the other can take hours. It wouldn't make money," he said (Apparently he HAS dated before). Davis agrees that women customers could differ significantly from men, though she plans at least initially to keep her current prices for services — $500 for two hours, $800 for three. "That may change. We're figuring that women may want a longer period of time, maybe a little more romance. They're not quite like men in that respect," she said. Davis said the requests she has received for male prostitutes have come mostly from women, but that she also would welcome business from men seeking men. "I can't discriminate, nor would I want to," she said, adding that it would be up to prostitutes to decide whether they entertain any particular guest. Licensing male prostitutes might be a problem. State law allows for legal prostitutes of both genders, but the health codes that regulate the business largely are written to apply to female prostitutes. That includes a requirement that the working girls have mandatory cervical exams. "It's kind of hard to do that with a man," Davis said to the nervous laughter of reporters. Nye County Sheriff Tony DeMeo, whose office administers work cards for prostitutes (other benefits include free drinks at local bars after hours), said he's aware of Davis' plan and has sought legal advice from the district attorney. Meanwhile, Davis is drawing up her help wanted ad. She said she'll be looking for one or two men "in good shape, in their mid-30s to 50s." (DAMNIT!!! Just a few more years!!!) Asked about the age range, she notes that's another way women differ from men. "Look at George Clooney, he's 50 and he's still considered a very sexy man. Women don't consider a man washed up by the time he's 50," she said. Prostitution is outlawed in five Nevada counties, including in the Reno and Las Vegas metropolitan areas, but brothels have operated legally elsewhere in the state since 1971. So gentlemen, if you're looking for a way to make a few bucks in this economy...and are middle aged, then there may be an opportunity for you.

Colorado Update - Remember what seems like years ago when I lived in Denver? Well, sometimes I wonder what's going on there since I've left. I've already had a few people call my cell phone to open the front door. "I don't live there anymore, buddy. I'm not gonna buzz you in." I haven't heard much about my old job...and frankly I don't care much unless they offer me a better job than I had...which probably isn't going to happen. Then I stumble upon nuggets like this from one of my favorite hippie communities, Boulder Colorado. A couple of nudists claim their landlord is wrongly discriminating by trying to get them to cover up while gardening. Robert (58) and Catharine (51) Pierce have been accused by their landlord of being a nuisance by gardening wearing only thong underwear, plus pasties for Catharine Pierce. Neighbors complained to police about the Pierces' scanty clothing...but police say the Pierces are not violating the law as long as their genitals are covered...but their landlord, Boulder Housing Partners (did their parents name them that), has sent the Pierces a letter saying they could face eviction if they don't cover up. The Pierces say the threat of eviction amounts to discrimination. Robert Pierce said, "We want our freedom. We want exactly what the law gives you, and we don't want to be harassed about it." Betsy Martens, executive director of the Boulder Housing Partners, which administers Boulder's affordable housing program, told the Daily Camera newspaper that defining the word nuisance is difficult. "This is not a legal issue, it's a community issue. We try and balance the needs of the whole community." Neighbor Emily Hink said she spied Catharine Pierce gardening as she was driving home with her daughter, whose "jaw dropped." (I'm assuming not the good way) Hink said she's not opposed to people being nude in their houses or even in a fenced-off back yard...but the Pierces' home is on a corner just a couple of blocks from a school. "There are so many parks around here, and there are lots of kids around. They're on the corner lot right across the street from the community gardens and the Waldorf school. The whole street is lined with kids." Ultimately, if the Pierces continue their near-naked gardening, Boulder Housing Partners can choose to evict them. If the couple fought the eviction, the municipal court would be left to decide whether their behavior constitutes a nuisance. Thirty years ago, this wouldn't have been a problem...because Robert would've been a studdly 28 not unlike myself...and Catharine would've had her first taste of legal alcohol at 21...and let's face it, people like free twenty-something nudity...but when you get into your fifties, it's apparently a nuisance. Even in Boulder which is like the Vermont of the Mountain West. I think there should be a million man (and mostly woman) march on the Capitol...in the nude. Can you imagine the sight? Blinding farmer's tan ass with occasional speckles of melanin flooding the streets of Denver? Genitals swaying in the brisk mountain breeze? My God, it would be a beautiful testimony to Freedom. I'd love to help out with this cause...but unfortunately I'm back in Utah...and I don't think there'd be the same volume of nudist members here. I went to Pride this past weekend and there was probably a few dozen that would march with me. Then again, the nudists here do like to come out at night and walk their little dogs through the Avenues, conveniently located next to the Utah State Capitol. Hmm, maybe this isn't as far fetched as I thought. We'd just have to do it at night. I'm sure the news would still cover it...just that nobody would be at the Capitol listening besides security. Okay, now I have a project to look into in my spare time. Let me know if you're interested in marching.

So we've had fun today with plenty of sex & nudity...so maybe I'll have to balance it out tomorrow with some assassination, a pandemic, or other signs of the Apocalypse...but until then, have a great day everybody!!! Love y'all madly!!!

To Catch A Fox

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Getting over this cold or whatever that I've had the past few days. I was actually singing and everything earlier today...mostly because of the smooth Barry White voice...but in a pretty good mood too. My first performance review at my new job went splendidly (as if you expected something different) and Bubbles is coming to town for the weekend, so we'll get to hang out for a bit. Good times. Other than that, not much else going on with me personally. My family & Friends are awesome...and so I'll get to a few more movie reviews to help y'all make some selections.

Last night, instead of going to watch Game 3 of the NBA Finals (Magic finally won one) with my dad, I decided to not get him sick...and watched the Hitchcockian classic "To Catch A Thief" starring Cary Grant & the fairy tale in the flesh, Grace Kelly. The story is about a retired jewel thief called the Cat (Grant) who is suspected in a string of robberies along the French Riviera (so plenty of beautiful cinematography shots). Now to prove his innocence, he must catch this new Copy Cat himself...without the police catching him...or other thieves trying to kill him. Oh...and as usual, a beautiful woman (Kelly) is thrown into the mix to mess it all up too. This is actually a great thriller and being set in the French Riviera is a plus just from an eye candy perspective. There are car chases, rooftop fights, sneakiness, Cary Grant being smooth & debonair, lots of French speaking, swimming, Grace Kelly, murder, thievery, double crosses, right crosses, guns, fine wine, picnics, flirtation, all the great things you look for in classic movies. I would highly recommend it.

I followed that up with director Kevin Smith's latest "Zack & Miri Make A Porno" starring Seth Rogen & Elisabeth Banks as the aspiring filmmakers...and a gaggle of other Kevin Smith movie staples, porn stars and celebrity cameos alike (the new Superman's in it briefly). Two long-time roommates (Rogen & Banks) have fallen on some hard financial times in Pittsburgh...and of course, the only way that they can make some quick money is to make their own pornographic film and sell it to their high school's graduating class of 1999...or whoever else will buy it. Makes perfect sense, right? Of course it does. We've all been there...and have the poorly edited tapes to prove it. However, something happens during this process when these long-time friends have a scene together...and instead of f**king, they accidentally make Love. Now what's going to happen? Can they stand the idea of costars in this pornographic film? Do they have the balls to be in Love? Only time will tell...and there's plenty of potty humor throughout the movie to keep this from being a chick flick or anything. So yeah, if you enjoy Kevin Smith movies...or pornos (and let's be honest, you all enjoy those) then I would suggest checking out this flick. It's funny, raunchy and even has a little bit of heart...but does it have a Hollywood ending? Find out for yourself...and bring a tissue or two.

Picasso Pick Pocket - In "To Catch A Thief" fashion, a red notebook of 33 pencil drawings by Pablo Picasso has been stolen from a specially locked glass case in the Paris museum that bears the painter's name, authorities said Tuesday. The book is believed to be worth 8 million euros ($11 million), a police official said. The theft took place between Monday and Tuesday morning at the Picasso Museum, removed from a glass case that "can only be opened with a specific instrument," according to the Culture Ministry (So a baseball bat wouldn't break the glass?). A museum employee discovered the notebook missing Tuesday morning from the second-floor display case, the police official said anonymously, as police are not authorized to discuss cases publicly (really?). The museum is closed on Tuesdays (because they're French, that's why!). There was no surveillance system in the room where the notebook was displayed, the police official said. The stolen sketchbook, shiny red with the word "Album" inscribed in gold on the front, dated from 1917 to 1924, the Culture Ministry statement said. It measured 6.3 inches by 9.5 inches (16 by 24 centimeters). The Picasso Museum, in Paris' old Marais neighborhood, is dedicated to the Spanish-born painter, a founder of the Cubist movement and leading 20th-century artist. In August 2007, French investigators recovered two Picasso paintings and a drawing worth a total of more than $66 million stolen from the home of the artist's granddaughter in an overnight heist six months earlier. Two of three suspects later arrested were carrying the rolled-up canvases as police closed in. Police had been tipped off by an art dealer after the theft at the luxury Paris apartment of Diana Widmaier-Picasso and suspected the thieves were looking to sell their loot. No word on whether "The Cat" has been called in for questioning...but I assume the police are checking all possibilities. I can imagine the kind of kinky doodles that he has in that notebook...but I can't imagine why somebody would pay eight digits for it. Then again, perhaps it's modern art...because I simply don't get that. Anyway, I pray for a speedy recovery to Picasso's stolen doodles...and fancy notebook.

Fox Update - Speaking of works of art, Hollywood bombshell Megan Fox is reportedly battling her protective mother over her plans to add another body art to her tattoo collection. The 'Transformers' star has eight tattoos on her body, and reportedly wants to cover her entire right arm with a tattoo 'sleeve', National Enquirer reported (so it must be true) but her mother Darlene is urging Fox to reconsider as she fears that the body art will put off movie bosses and jeopardize her Hollywood career. "She has never understood why her daughter would want to cover her gorgeous body with tattoos. After each new tattoo, Darlene pleaded with Megan not to get more," a source told the publication. "Darlene believes that when Megan is a 40-year-old woman wanting to play more mature roles, people won't want to hire her because it will be too hard to cover her tattoos." Now, I'm not a fan of full body tattoos...but I respect Megan's decision to do what she will with her body (and how). However, now I want to meet her mom Darlene in Tennessee. I could imagine what that MILF looks like. Also. I admire that her mom is so naive about Hollywood too. It's sweet. She won't be unemployed in her forties because she has a full arm tattoo. She'll be out of work because she's in her forties. That's just how it is...so yeah, I say do what you want Miss Fox. However, you may want to at least listen to your mama's advice too. You know how I feel about mamas. They deserve your respect. Oh...and Darlene, gimme a call. Let's meet up somewhere have some coffee or something.

That'll do it for today. Still raining...for the past week or so now. I like the smell...but it's not helping me get over this cold quickly...but I'm just about over it now. Good times. Have a great day everybody!!!

Something That Really Cooks

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

I'm still feeling a little crappy today. Even tried to take a little time off work to make sure that I don't push it too far...but ended up staying the whole time...cuz I'm a tough guy. Anyway, I haven't really been that busy otherwise...basically just seen a few movies while recooperating... and getting well wishes & kind messages from ladyfriends...because as you know, the best way to overcome any ailment is to hear a lady say, "Ooooh, I hope you feel better." Even from hundreds, thousands of miles away...it's effective. Thank you ladies.

So I was sitting at work today...feeling miserable though admiring the eye candy as usual. Well, one thing that I've noticed since flying solo...is that there are televisions in my area. This is a new thing for me. Also a new thing...is actually watching the Food Network. Now, I've watched it rarely while hanging up at my mom's house...but you know how often that happens. Also, by watching the Food Network, I mean just that...watching with subtitles. No sound. Well, there's this show on that channel called "Everyday Italian" and the host on there, Giada de Laurentiis...is just bellisima. I could watch her cook all damn day...but alas it's only a half hour in my afternoon. Seriously. Have you seen this show? It's like it was made for me...to want to learn to cook. It might as well be the PC equivalent of "Household Tips from Adult Film Stars" that used to be on the Man Show years ago. "Hi, I'm Jenna Jameson...and today, I'm going to show you how to get a stain out of your favorite cocktail dress." Remember those? You know you do. If not, google it. Anyway, I don't know if this lovely host of "Everyday Italian" has an accent or anything...but in my world, she does. So basically, every episode is something like, "Bonna sera, my name is Giada (remember, there's an accent) and today I'm going to make a special treat for you. Mya favorite dish, herb crusted lamb. I know you've a seen this a coupla times before...so to keep you focused, I'm wearing deesa low cut top so that you can oogle at mya bazongas...and maybe subconsciously hear a little something about how to cook for your senora." I'm sure it's not exactly like that...but it might as well be...and I am learning a little bit. I'm a very visual learner...and some stuff goes right to the core.

The first film I'll blab about today is a western that came out last year called "Appaloosa" starring Ed Harris, Viggo Mortensen and Jeremy Irons as cowboys. The movie starts out with Jeremy Irons as a cowboy...which is awkward to say the least. However, it's pretty good. The story is about a city called Appaloosa (oddly enough) where a band of cowboys (led by Irons) is destroying the city and their sheriff was just murdered. Desperate for order, the city officials hire two men (Harris & Mortensen) to enforce the law any way they can...within the confines of the law...which they now have the authority to make. They do a good job & even have a suspect in custody (Irons) for the murder of the former sheriff...but then trouble moves in the way of hired guns...and worst of all, Renee Zellweger. If you like Westerns, I say check it out. If not, it's kind of a slow movie...but the acting is great...and the action is surprisingly brief...but it's more "historically correct" than most shoot-em-up Westerns are. I liked it. Still odd to think of Jeremy Irons as a cowboy though.

Next up was "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" which is one of my new favorite eye candy classics. Why? Well, not only does it have Marilyn Monroe...but it has the brunette bombshell Jane Russell too. Basically it's about two dancers (Monroe & Russell) who are on a cruise from New York to France...and one of them is a gold digger (Monroe) is recently engaged to the son of a millionaire, but the father has his doubts about her gold digger ways, so he's hired a private detective to watch her. The other (Russell) is her friend who is acting as a chaperone on behalf of the fiance...but of course, she's cool with the idea of going on a cruise...and she & the detective have a bit of a romance...and hilarity ensues. It's a great flick...and I highly recommend it...not just for the scandalous (by 50's standards) swimsuits of beautiful curvaceous women...but also for the humor & romance. A little something for everybody with this one.

Last night was another Marx Brothers film entitled "Animal Crackers" and it was the usual craziness with a few musical numbers. You know, for as funny & entertaining as the Marx Brothers are, Harpo & Chico are PHENOMINAL musicians too. I mean...if I'm impressed then that's saying something. Oh yeah, there's allegedly a back-story about Captain Spaulding (Groucho) coming back from an African safari...and a painting being displayed...and blah blah blah, but it doesn't really matter and of course nothing really has to do with the story, it's just great fun & entertainment...and made in 1930 so it's probably different from what you've become used to by the diluted Hollywood machine (which I may become a part of soon if job opportunities go my way).

Fortune Cookie of the Day - "Sail for the Land of Opportunity - Treasures Await...in bed" - So there you go, perhaps Hollywood is the Land of Opportunity...or maybe Utah...or maybe Vegas...or maybe another location. We shall see...or rather, I'll keep you posted...but Utah isn't a bad place to be either. Good peeps...and I'm easily entertained.

Yeah, that'll do it for the day I think. I'm feeling a little under the weather...but hopefully you enjoy my rambles about whatever. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some Food Network to watch. Hahaha, just kidding. Don't get it...but I did finally get "Zack & Miri Make A Porno" through Netflix...so that may even be better. Have a great day everybody!!!