Showing posts with label hollywood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hollywood. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

To Catch A Fox

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Getting over this cold or whatever that I've had the past few days. I was actually singing and everything earlier today...mostly because of the smooth Barry White voice...but in a pretty good mood too. My first performance review at my new job went splendidly (as if you expected something different) and Bubbles is coming to town for the weekend, so we'll get to hang out for a bit. Good times. Other than that, not much else going on with me personally. My family & Friends are awesome...and so I'll get to a few more movie reviews to help y'all make some selections.

Last night, instead of going to watch Game 3 of the NBA Finals (Magic finally won one) with my dad, I decided to not get him sick...and watched the Hitchcockian classic "To Catch A Thief" starring Cary Grant & the fairy tale in the flesh, Grace Kelly. The story is about a retired jewel thief called the Cat (Grant) who is suspected in a string of robberies along the French Riviera (so plenty of beautiful cinematography shots). Now to prove his innocence, he must catch this new Copy Cat himself...without the police catching him...or other thieves trying to kill him. Oh...and as usual, a beautiful woman (Kelly) is thrown into the mix to mess it all up too. This is actually a great thriller and being set in the French Riviera is a plus just from an eye candy perspective. There are car chases, rooftop fights, sneakiness, Cary Grant being smooth & debonair, lots of French speaking, swimming, Grace Kelly, murder, thievery, double crosses, right crosses, guns, fine wine, picnics, flirtation, all the great things you look for in classic movies. I would highly recommend it.

I followed that up with director Kevin Smith's latest "Zack & Miri Make A Porno" starring Seth Rogen & Elisabeth Banks as the aspiring filmmakers...and a gaggle of other Kevin Smith movie staples, porn stars and celebrity cameos alike (the new Superman's in it briefly). Two long-time roommates (Rogen & Banks) have fallen on some hard financial times in Pittsburgh...and of course, the only way that they can make some quick money is to make their own pornographic film and sell it to their high school's graduating class of 1999...or whoever else will buy it. Makes perfect sense, right? Of course it does. We've all been there...and have the poorly edited tapes to prove it. However, something happens during this process when these long-time friends have a scene together...and instead of f**king, they accidentally make Love. Now what's going to happen? Can they stand the idea of costars in this pornographic film? Do they have the balls to be in Love? Only time will tell...and there's plenty of potty humor throughout the movie to keep this from being a chick flick or anything. So yeah, if you enjoy Kevin Smith movies...or pornos (and let's be honest, you all enjoy those) then I would suggest checking out this flick. It's funny, raunchy and even has a little bit of heart...but does it have a Hollywood ending? Find out for yourself...and bring a tissue or two.

Picasso Pick Pocket - In "To Catch A Thief" fashion, a red notebook of 33 pencil drawings by Pablo Picasso has been stolen from a specially locked glass case in the Paris museum that bears the painter's name, authorities said Tuesday. The book is believed to be worth 8 million euros ($11 million), a police official said. The theft took place between Monday and Tuesday morning at the Picasso Museum, removed from a glass case that "can only be opened with a specific instrument," according to the Culture Ministry (So a baseball bat wouldn't break the glass?). A museum employee discovered the notebook missing Tuesday morning from the second-floor display case, the police official said anonymously, as police are not authorized to discuss cases publicly (really?). The museum is closed on Tuesdays (because they're French, that's why!). There was no surveillance system in the room where the notebook was displayed, the police official said. The stolen sketchbook, shiny red with the word "Album" inscribed in gold on the front, dated from 1917 to 1924, the Culture Ministry statement said. It measured 6.3 inches by 9.5 inches (16 by 24 centimeters). The Picasso Museum, in Paris' old Marais neighborhood, is dedicated to the Spanish-born painter, a founder of the Cubist movement and leading 20th-century artist. In August 2007, French investigators recovered two Picasso paintings and a drawing worth a total of more than $66 million stolen from the home of the artist's granddaughter in an overnight heist six months earlier. Two of three suspects later arrested were carrying the rolled-up canvases as police closed in. Police had been tipped off by an art dealer after the theft at the luxury Paris apartment of Diana Widmaier-Picasso and suspected the thieves were looking to sell their loot. No word on whether "The Cat" has been called in for questioning...but I assume the police are checking all possibilities. I can imagine the kind of kinky doodles that he has in that notebook...but I can't imagine why somebody would pay eight digits for it. Then again, perhaps it's modern art...because I simply don't get that. Anyway, I pray for a speedy recovery to Picasso's stolen doodles...and fancy notebook.

Fox Update - Speaking of works of art, Hollywood bombshell Megan Fox is reportedly battling her protective mother over her plans to add another body art to her tattoo collection. The 'Transformers' star has eight tattoos on her body, and reportedly wants to cover her entire right arm with a tattoo 'sleeve', National Enquirer reported (so it must be true) but her mother Darlene is urging Fox to reconsider as she fears that the body art will put off movie bosses and jeopardize her Hollywood career. "She has never understood why her daughter would want to cover her gorgeous body with tattoos. After each new tattoo, Darlene pleaded with Megan not to get more," a source told the publication. "Darlene believes that when Megan is a 40-year-old woman wanting to play more mature roles, people won't want to hire her because it will be too hard to cover her tattoos." Now, I'm not a fan of full body tattoos...but I respect Megan's decision to do what she will with her body (and how). However, now I want to meet her mom Darlene in Tennessee. I could imagine what that MILF looks like. Also. I admire that her mom is so naive about Hollywood too. It's sweet. She won't be unemployed in her forties because she has a full arm tattoo. She'll be out of work because she's in her forties. That's just how it is...so yeah, I say do what you want Miss Fox. However, you may want to at least listen to your mama's advice too. You know how I feel about mamas. They deserve your respect. Oh...and Darlene, gimme a call. Let's meet up somewhere have some coffee or something.

That'll do it for today. Still raining...for the past week or so now. I like the smell...but it's not helping me get over this cold quickly...but I'm just about over it now. Good times. Have a great day everybody!!!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Be It, Don't Dream It

Good Morning Ladies and Gentlemen,

I've been looking on the worldwide web for the next gig...and it's both reassuring and saddening all at the same time. There are some great jobs and opportunities for me out there...but it requires going even further away from home...and with the Media's assault on people who partake in luxury goods (which is my career expertise) who knows what will happen to these other offices in say...six months. It could be like Deja Vu all over again. That's the life that we live though. Nobody knows what's going to be one moment from the next. For example, a year ago, I was in Vegas with my brother and sister-in-law celebrating their 1st anniversary...and helping Bubbles look for apartments...and in essence beginning my own journey towards Vegas. Six months ago, my career took a sharp turn from steadily pointed toward Sin City and instead went to the city a mile high in the sky and had a kick ass Going Away Party. Three months ago, I was back in Vegas ringing in 2009 with Bubbles. A month ago, I was in the heart of Mardi Gras spending the late evenings with Southern girls. Now, I'm plotting where I'm going to be a month from now...whether it's back home in Utah, here in Denver writing the next great American smut collection, or elsewhere. A month from now, I'll be turning 28 years old and sexier than ever. Three months from now I could be anywhere doing anything. A year from now, I could be returning home again after spending a few months in Hollywood until the Big One hits, then moving to New Orleans just in time for a Category 5, play basketball for a few months in China before they turn to cannibalism and have a hankering for white meat, and make it back to the United States by working on a pirate ship full of porn stars. I guess my point is...anything's possible...and we just have to be there for each other and enjoy every moment of this wonderful life that we have...because things can change drastically and suddenly.

As promised here's a quick rundown of some of my prospective destinations. Any feedback from locals or people in the know or random comments would be greatly appreciated.

Denver, Colorado
Pros


  • My apartment, I won't have to move
  • Great city that I was just starting to enjoy...and it was in the dead of winter

Cons


  • No real job opportunities

Synopsis: I'd love to stay here...but there's nothing over $10 an hour...and if I have to move out of my apartment, then I'm moving to somewhere that can afford me. I've become a bit of a pompous, conceited ass having been an incredible employee for about 15 years now...but I think that I deserve it.

Salt Lake City, Utah
Pros


  • Home Sweet Home - Family and Friends abound
  • Great job at fairly decent pay with friends
  • Movie Nights / Homecoming Party
  • Don't have to register my car in another state?
  • There's a lot

Cons


  • Not progressing in my career, actually kind of taking a step back
  • No apartment on the 34th floor? Did I mention how much I love my view?


Synopsis: Looking like the #1 contender right now...but we shall see. The search continues.



Las Vegas, Nevada
Pros


  • Vegas, baby!!!
  • A few friends like Bubbles, Barbie & Keanna
  • The Wingmans are two hours away

Cons



  • No real job opportunities
  • Just in time for the summer too

Synopsis: Still love Vegas like a fat kid loves cake...but again, I need to go to a place that can afford me...and I've already heard the horrible stories from first-hand accounts about the layoffs going on down there. Visit Vegas y'all. Hmm, maybe I'll have to do that to let off some steam in the next month or so.



New Orleans, Louisiana
Pros


  • A few great job opportunities within the company
  • Great step for my career
  • Southern girls like me and I like Southern girls...and food

Cons


  • The entire city seems like a ghetto - Great to visit but wouldn't want to live there
  • I'm not Aquaman. I like to live above water...in the high country
  • Hurricane evacuations...unless I have to stay, which I would with this step in my career
  • All my possessions threatened to be washed away (or stolen) several times a year

Synopsis: As much as I love the city of New Orleans, I simply would not want to live there. Sure, Filly's there and I've met a lot of her great friends and it's just a beautiful mystical city...but it's also humid...because it's technically underwater...and I have a fear of drowning...and getting stabbed. Again, great place to visit...but I simply don't think that I could love there...though some of the salaries for the job opportunities there are nothing to sneeze at...especially when I live rather frugally.



Hollywood, California
Pros


  • Beaches to the left of me and b**ches to the right
  • Great step for my career...but may be a while before office opens
  • Probably have apartments on the 34th floor
  • Possible second job as low-budget director with plenty of local "talent"
  • If sh*t goes down, we have the Terminator as Governor

Cons


  • Earthquakes, Fire, Tsunamis, Volcanoes, Paris Hilton and other disasters
  • A LOT of people...and unemployment around 10%
  • I don't speak Spanish (but I can sing like I know it...and that's almost as good)

Synopsis: Is Hollywood ready for Dr Love? Reading about this office that's opening up literally at "THE SPOT" and thinking about all the celebrities and sports stars that would associated with this location, it's very intriguing. Also, the salaries of some of these job are ASTRONOMICAL by Utah standards (then again, the cost of living is also about double...but still). And yes Filly, I would prefer the threat of earthquakes, fires, volcanoes and whatever else over hurricanes. Why? Because I can swim on the beaches...and it's a little closer to home.



Other cities that have some interesting opportunities are Charlotte & Lake Tahoe...but I've never been to those cities or even really researched them quite yet. San Diego didn't have a lot of opportunities either...and they're hella expensive. So that's where I'm at currently. More research to be done obviously...and friends are looking out all over the globe for me...so no need to worry. Again, worst-case, I just end up moving back home to a decent job...or living like a bum for the next three months still getting paid & writing in the shade or something.



Last night, I watched a movie for the first time that I'm pretty sure that everybody has seen besides me...and that movie is...The Rocky Horror Picture Show. For that one person out there who hasn't seen it, this movie is the story of a young recently engaged couple (Barry Bostwick and Susan Sarandon) who get a flat tire and stumble upon a castle where there's a bunch of crazy sh*t going on. There's a Dr Frank N Furter, who's a transsexual transvestite from Transylvania (Tim Curry) and he makes a Creation...and there's frozen Meatloaf in the fridge...and some hunchback vampire like people...and another doctor...and a British narrator...and it's a musical. To be honest, I wasn't incredibly impressed...but then again, I wasn't really stoned or anything...and I'm told that's the way to see it by Enhancement Smokers...who I assume are the people that dress up whenever this movie is played at a local theatre or something. So yeah, it was okay. Now I've seen it.



I followed it up the only way that I knew how...with a movie from a completely different genre. Next was "Sukiyaki Western Django" which is basically a Western...but played with all Japanese actors...in this Old West town...but all the signs are in Japanese...and the director Takashi Miike is famous for horror movies...but wanted to branch out...oh and throw in a special guest star by the name of Quentin Tarantino...and you have this movie. It was pretty good...and definitely unique. Lots of quick cut editing, great fight scenes, imaginative story telling, and though the dialogue with a little off at times (English as a Second Language) it was still quite an impressive movie. I would recommend it. It's a new twist on the standard Western...like a Sushi Western instead of a Spaghetti Western or something.



Anyway, so that's where I'm at. Still looking for job opportunities and hopefully I'll know more by the time I leave for Cali in four days. It should be an interesting April for me...but it's like Forrest Gump said, "Yes sir, they shot me right in the buttocks." Oh wait, that's not the one. Sorry, it's been a few months since I've seen that movie. What was it? "I think I ruined your friend's towel." No, that's not it either. "Lieutenant Dan, you got legs." Oooh, strike three. "We was like peas and carrots again." "To do whatever you tell me, drill sergeant." No wait, I've got it. "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get." Things can change abruptly and completely...so you just have to be prepared for what may come. I want to thank all of you for being there for me (since most of you reading this have been there for me in one way or another) and I only hope that I can pay you guys back...even if just with a few laughs here and there. Have a great day everybody. "And that's all I've got to say about that."

Where Should I Go Next?