High Brow Entertainment

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

Well, it’s been a pretty standard week thus far. I’ve been trying to avoid getting sick since all of my coworkers insist on working so that everybody can share in their misery… but hey, that’s Corporate America. What’s that? Oh you even have paid time off for sickness & you still show up to work because you have to use that time for other things like hair appointments or random days off? So be it. I can understand. I don’t agree… but I understand the concept. That being said, still like my job & am proud to put in a good day’s work.

Dizzy did something AWESOME the other day!!! She assisted her local microbrewery in brewing up a Double RyePA. She was there by 5:30 AM and… well, I don’t even really have all of the details yet… but I’m sure that she’ll elaborate about it in a future post on our beer blog. What’s that? Oh, you didn’t even know that we HAD a beer blog? How is that possible? I feel like I’ve mentioned it a few times back when we first opened it up… but regardless, the link is below. Please feel free to check it out & Like it or Friend it or whatever so that you get those interesting updates.

Terrible Lizard Brewing at:

http://terriblelizardbrewing.blogspot.com  

Just to elaborate on this blog again (because I’d like some viewership), basically it’s a blog about our adventures in beer. Whether it’s our homebrewing (about to start batch #7 this weekend), books that we’ve heard on the subject, documentaries that we’ve seen, touring large scale breweries, patronizing local establishments, attending festivals & events, all centered around the subject of Beer & Beermaking. We find it interesting… and I kinda think that you will too. If not, it’s probably only because of my piss-poor storytelling abilities… and I’m trying to work on that. I’m always up for suggestions.

Last night, Dizzy & I watched a Netflix movie called “Poolboy: Drowning Out the Fury” starring Kevin Sorbo, Danny Trejo… and a host of other great cameos by forgotten stars like Brian Callen, Gary Valentine & even the great Richard Karn (Al from “Home Improvement”). Now, the premise of the movie is pretty ridiculous… so that’s what drew me to it initially… but it’s even better. See… the movie is unfolded as if it were a director’s cut kind of storytelling about the making of the film… as told by the eccentric award-winning, one-eyed possibly maniacal director Saint James St. James (the St. stands for Street). He unfolds his film that… previously was too controversial and too thought-provoking for audiences, so the MPAA denied his distribution or ability for it to be shown in theatres back when it was made in 1990… but luckily, there’s still one surviving VHS tape of the sequel “Poolboy 2: Drowning Out the Fury” as the original was destroyed. Well, “exactly like the Matrix”, you don’t need to see the original to miss out on the story of the sequel… so the story goes. His film is about a Vietnam vet named Sal Bando (Sorbo) who after a traumatic experience, returns home to Los Angeles to find that Mexicans have taken over the pool-cleaning industry… and one has been banging his wife. Well, he doesn’t take kindly to it… and wants to clean up the streets (basically in the most racially insensitive way possible by killing all of the Mexicans in the neighborhood). The kingpin of the pool-cleaning and landscaping cartel (Trejo) finds out… and vows to end this “Poolboy” hero. However… Sal soon finds out… that it’s much DEEPER and more DANGEROUS than he could have possibly imagined. Gripping story, right? Well… it’s obviously a farce… kinda of a National Lampoon’s version of “First Blood” but… with a LOT more ethnic jokes. I highly recommend it as it’s an ode to the horrible cheesy action movies of the 80’s and early 90’s that we all love… but yeah, it’s not going to win any awards… good to see “Hercules”, “Machete” and Al from “Home Improvement” getting work… and I assume if it catches on that the Hispanic community will be up in arms… but until then, enjoy the hell out of it. I personally thought that the director Saint James St. James with his concise delivery & unfathomable ego… connecting with me on a personal level. Go check it out!

Wednesday night I watched another Netflix movie recommended to me by The Wingman called “American Mary” starring Katharine Isabella in the title role of Mary. The story is about a medical student who is going to school to become a surgeon… but while trying to get a new job to pay for it… and kinda stumbling into a somewhat seedy underworld of keeping “roughed-up” guys from not dying… and then into the lucrative world of body modifications… and then being drugged & raped by her professor, she drops the med school thing and basically goes rogue by getting revenge on her professor… and making a LOT of money in the bod mod game. Well, the cops get wind of her from another surgeon rapist (apparently they have big parties like that because they’re surgeons) and the walls are closing in. What’s she to do? They REALLY try to play the whole “girl next door who just wanted to be a surgeon but got swept up in this craziness” and… there was even some poor humor thrown in but… it’s really dark, there’s a lot of extended scenes of surgeries (think “Nip/Tuck” but for about a three-minute montage & more blood as opposed to the 15-second TV ones on that show), some fairly gruesome violent and/or sexual acts though a few things implied, WILD inconsistencies, a LOT of F-bombs given by the professor in class & everybody else in the show for… really no constructive reason other than questionable dialogue, the lead actress is very cute but… not the best actress in the world. I don’t know, I didn’t care for it really. I get that it’s an independent flick and the lines between good & evil are supposed to be blurry (except that all surgeons are serial killing rapists in lab coats apparently) and it wasn’t horrible… but I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone really. Now for some news…

 

Speaking of Shit… - A critic of President Francois Hollande and France's ruling elite literally dumped tons of horse manure in front of the national parliament building in Paris on Thursday in a pungent protest against French politics. I like it. "Out with Hollande and the entire political class. Long live the Sixth Republic," read a message on the side of the man's articulated truck. France's present-day Fifth Republic was founded in 1958 with Charles de Gaulle its first president. “The Sixth Republic” is probably some independent French movie coming in the Spring with a lot of pretention & unkempt genital hair… or maybe that’s “The Sixth Re-pubic”. Anyway, the unnamed perpetrator was detained by police before he was able to shed all of his truckload of dung at the steps of the Bourbon Palace, the building that houses the lower house of parliament on the edge of the Seine river in downtown Paris, witnesses said. Authorities began a mass clear-up operation. Hollande, hit by magazine allegations of a love affair with an actress and battling to restore the fortunes of Europe's second-largest economy, has the lowest popularity ratings of any leader in modern-day France. Ah… remember the days when banging a superhot Fritalian model-actress like Carla Bruni while married to somebody else while elected to a public office was not only acceptable, but basically expected? Ah, but it’s no longer 2007 everybody, it’s 2014. What’s that? Oh, the rumor is that former French President Serkozy & Ms. Bruni met shortly after his divorce in 2007? Well, the important thing is that YOU believe that. Still, I like the leaving of horse sh*t on the steps of parliament. Good show, Froggie!

Farming with Urine – Yes, we’re keeping it high-brow on this blog apparently. The Rich Earth Institute (REI) in Battleboro, Vt., is investigating whether human urine can replace chemical fertilizers. We first learned of the technique over at Modern Farmer. The project, which has enlisted well over 100 volunteers to donate their urine, aims to determine if "essential plant nutrients" found in urine, such as nitrogen, phosphorus and potassium, will work as a kind of all-natural fertilizer. It's not as unusual as you might think. Modern Farmer explains that, "Across the Atlantic, studies have long established urine as a powerful fertilizer." The article goes on to cite a study done by the Stockholm Water Company. Via Modern Farmer:

A study conducted by the Stockholm Water Company in the late 1990s diverted urine from four housing projects to a grain farmer outside the city. The scientists concluded not only that urine could replace quick-acting mineral fertilizers, but also calculated that one Northern European adult pees enough plant nutrients to grow 50 to 100 percent of the food requirement for another person. Other successful trials have taken place in China and Mexico, though none as detailed as the Swedish one.

Regardless of the tone of that news clip sounding like a Northern European is peeing on somebody else’s food, I like the sound of those results. National Geographic spoke with researcher Debendra Shrestha of Tribhuvan University in Kathmandu, Nepal, who said that Nepalese farmers have been using human urine on crops for centuries. But does it work? According to National Geographic, it did for Shrestha. Ugh… okay? Well, if it works for… him? Her? Not sure what sex a Debendra is but it sounds feminine. After conducting an experiment that featured sweet peppers grown in soil with different combinations of urine, compost, and urea ― "the main nitrogen-containing chemical in human urine" ― the researchers found that plants grown in soil that "had a combination of human urine and compost grew the tallest, yielded the most peppers, and had the most total fruit weight per plant." That study's results were published in Scientia Horticulturae. Another study investigated the effect that urine and ash had on growing beets. The researchers found that "urine with or without ash can increase the yield of red beet and furthermore the microbial quality and chemical quality were similar to the situation in mineral-fertilized products." Yet another study that focused on tomatoes found similar results. Still, there are questions. As Modern Farmer notes, traces of pharmaceuticals that can show up in urine are also being studied by REI, with the help of two universities… which kinda makes sense, but yeah… I like the results of that. So… go out and pee on somebody’s garden… and if they give you any guff, simply reply with “You’re welcome!!!” Go Green everybody… and I guess Yellow!!!

Death By Wedgie - A 33-year-old Oklahoma man has been charged with killing his stepfather by giving him an "atomic wedgie," that caused the victim to suffocate on his own underwear. First, let that sink in for… just a moment. Okay, I’ll continue. Brad Lee Davis (not to be confused with Bradley Davis) was charged with murder in the death of 58-year-old Denver St. Clair in a drunken family fight at a residence just east of Oklahoma City, the Pottawatomie County Sheriff's Office said in an arrest affidavit obtained on Wednesday. Police arrested Davis on Tuesday. The affidavit said he "grabbed St. Clair's underwear and gave him an 'atomic wedgie.' Davis allegedly pulled the elastic waistband of St. Clair's underwear over his head and around his neck." Oklahoma Medical Examiner spokeswoman Amy Elliott said the cause of death was asphyxiation and blunt force trauma (ugh… wait, what was the 2nd one?). Pottawatomie County Sheriff Deputy Travis Palmer said Davis and St. Clair were drinking beer (my guess is a 24-pack of Coors?) on the night of December 21st at the older man's residence when St. Clair began speaking ill about his wife, who is Davis' mother. One should know that you don’t speak ill about another man’s mama… especially when you’re both drunken rednecks and he’s a quarter-century younger than you. Investigators said St. Clair's elastic waistband was stretched over his head and that it left ligature marks around his neck. Blood splatter was also found in the kitchen, the living room and on the living room ceiling. See? This is where the blunt force trauma thing comes in. Either the wedgie was applied… and then while strangled by his own underwear’s (apparently superstrong) elastic band, he was then bludgeoned by Mr. Davis… or because he was being strangled by his own elastic band, Mr. St. Clair overreacted to the situation… in a drunken stupor… and on the way to the kitchen to grab a knife or something to cut the band… slipped and banged his head on the linoleum (I’m just guessing marble was out of their price range) and boom… blunt force trauma. Will anyone ever really know what happened? Probably not… especially since the only witnesses are the accused & his mother… who apparently was spoken ill of by the departed. Anyway, Davis was being held in Pottawatomie County without bond. His lawyer was not immediately available for comment. Please drink responsibly… especially on that cheap sh*t.

Amsterdam Update – Here’s an interesting idea that’s being partially funded by the Dutch government. The BBC reports that alcoholics are, “being paid in beer to clean the streets of Amsterdam.” For five hours of work, those who have signed on to help clean up the streets get five cans of beer and receive €10 ($13.50). The program is run by De Regenboog Groep (The Rainbow Group), an organization that aims to help those with, “…social problems, the homeless, the poor, drug users and those with psychiatric problems. The organization provides shelter, relief and aid to people in the margins of society.” They see their litter program as, as the BBC put it, a more pragmatic approach. Janet van de Noord, who runs the program, told the BBC, "It's quite difficult to get these people off the alcohol completely. We have tried everything else. Now this is the only thing that works. We might not make them better, but we are giving them a better quality of life and it's better for the neighborhood, they're giving something back to society." There has been already been a noticeable difference in Oosterpark, a large park in Amsterdam in which many alcoholics have resided. The BBC writes that since The Rainbow Group started their efforts, there have been fewer reports of violent crimes and the park is largely litter free. Rene, a 52-year-old man, is one of 20 alcoholics who are participating. He freely admits that the draw is the free beer and doesn’t seem to be close to sobering up, yet he is happy that he is contributing to society. He told the British news station, “They used to treat us like garbage - and now we are picking up their garbage, we are not the garbage anymore.” I personally really like this idea. I’m sure human rights & addiction groups will have their problems with it as it’s not really a solution to the big problem… but at least it’s a solution. When the alternative is them begging for change or committing violent acts to get their beer, then I prefer the idea of giving them a six-pack (or I guess five-pack? Do they take one for themselves?) and a couple Euros for half a day’s work.



Hmm… I wonder if we could get Budweiser to sponsor a program like this here in San Francisco. God knows we have the homeless… damn temperate weather & apparently non-violent working class. I mean… let’s face it, in Los Angeles the cops can beat a homeless man to death on video and be quickly acquitted & almost completely slide under the national radar (as long as the homeless man is of Caucasian descent, but that’s another thing) so it’s either work programs like this into the system… or we have to have SFPD start cracking some heads. Hmm… speaking of crack… if the Budweiser sponsorship doesn’t work out… maybe crack will be the cheap alternative. Damn… I’ve got some great ideas. I should run for office.

Reporter: “Mayor Love, your ‘Filling In the Cracks’ clean-up campaign has caused a lot of controversy. While the results are unquestionable in San Francisco being voted yet again as the Greenest Big City in America, some would question your methods in that you’re using the addictions of others, namely the homeless, to your benefit. What is your response to that?”

Mayor Love: “It’s not MY benefit… it’s OUR benefit, as a community. You see… until we find a solution to the addictions that these people are afflicted with… or they find the ability in themselves to overcome these problems, then I personally like the opportunity to give them a helping hand… and the city is safer because of it.”

Reporter: “Don’t you think that’s more of a direct result of your ‘Crack Down on Crime’ campaign where individuals found selling crack-cocaine outside of a designated work-release center are bludgeoned by the fire department?”

Mayor Love: “Crime is down. Our firefighters are fit & active. Heck, no major fires in the past six months. I can’t take all the credit, it’s mostly today’s technology but… ah heck, you’re welcome everybody!”

Reporter: “And there’s still the controversy concerning the shutdown of one lane on the Golden Gate Bridge… and the email trail between you & one of your top advisors that clearly implicates…”

Mayor Love: “As I’ve told you before… if the unions would’ve headed my warnings about bullsh*tting a bullsh*tter, then it wouldn’t have been an issue. They didn’t play ball… so take it up with them. On another note… HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE? There’s ALWAYS lanes closed… for absolutely no reason… at all. We have an entire multi-billion dollar two-mile stretch of bridge… sitting about 50 yards parallel to a new multi-billion two-mile stretch of bridge… that goes to THE EXACT SAME F**KING SPOT! Fun fact… we’re not using one of those stretches… six lanes each way… and traffic is ridiculous… why? Because we have millions of people in dozens of square miles. You think people move through tubes like they’re in Futurama? Does anybody have any real questions? By the way, is everybody enjoying their beverages? That’s a bourbon barrel porter that I made partnering up with Anchor Steam… it hits shelves on the new city holiday, Love Day, April 26th. THAT should be your lead story. Peace, I’m out…” Drops the mic & walks away…



Yup… Tom Ford & Chris Christie ain’t got sh*t on me. Have a great day everybody!!!

Chinatown to Chinatown

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

Pretty standard week thus far… Dizzy’s aunt has a retirement party this weekend… but aside from that, just getting excited for our trip to Utah next week. Free agency has been crazy in the NBA. The Warriors somehow convinced the Jazz to take on some dead weight contracts so they could get Andre Iguodala, which makes them a BEAST if they stay healthy. Aside from them & the Brooklyn Nets, everybody else seems to either be content with what they have or bailing on this year in hopes that they can get a good draft pick and/or free agents next summer. Management can’t really say it… but basically about three-quarters of the NBA seems to mark this year up as a loss, presuming that the Heat will dominate or something & they’re gearing for the next few years. Is it wrong? To tank in the present so that you can compete for the next few years (allegedly)? Eh… whatever, they’ll get their money because people will still pay… and that’s what really matters, right?

 

NBA 2K13 Update: No tanking for the Milwaukee Bucks in the 2013-2014 season in my virtual reality. We swept through the Celtics & 76ers. Now facing the Heat in the conference finals, then probably (barring the computer doing what it likes to do & making my team do random stupid things & the other team do amazing impossible things) the winner of the Lakers & Suns (GASP!!!) in the NBA Finals. My money’s on the Lakers since… well, they like to match me up directly against the best small forwards & two-guards like Paul Pierce, LeBron James, Kevin Durant & Kobe Bryant on a regular basis. I’m quickly becoming a defensive powerhouse to match my marksmanship on the offensive end now that I’ve figured out part of their ridiculous system. Oh… and I just turned 21 on the game so… I may be a hot commodity on the free agent market soon.

 

Monday night, the new roommate… we’ll call her Temp (since she won’t be around long) watched the Roman Polanski-directed film “Chinatown” starring Jack Nicholson, Faye Dunaway & John Huston. This is a classic film noir movie in the same vein as the Bogart pictures from back in the day… you know, private detective, dame in distress, lies, double crosses, murder, corruption, all that jazz. The story basically starts when a private investigator (Nicholson) is hired to catch a cheating husband… only he later finds out that it wasn’t the real wife (Dunaway) that hired him… it was somebody else… and now to save his reputation & business… and maybe his pride, he wants to get to the bottom of why he was played a fool. Also, the husband that he was found dead after drowning during a major drought… so now, he’s caught in a tangled web of corruption, power, money, wealthy family drama, and all that other stuff. The movie was shot splendidly to match the feel of 1940’s Los Angeles even though it was made in the early 70’s… and appropriate storytelling for the genre. I’ve only seen a few Polanski flicks (“The Ninth Gate” & “Carnage” recently) but he seems to thrive on keeping the audience in a state of confusion & unsettlement so that they better personify with the main characters… even when the characters have less than desirable traits. It’s a great system & it seems to work for him… now if he could just stop diddling teenagers he might be considered among the elite filmmakers… but hey, we all have our vices I guess. The flick is great. I’d say check it out. It’s on Netflix. You’re welcome. Here’s the news…

 

SF to LA in half an hour? – That’s right… there coming up with a way to go from Chinatown to Chinatown more rapidly. Commuting is a way of life for most Bay Area residents. Many people traveling from the East Bay to downtown are accustomed to an hour commute each way without traffic. Some people even commute to Southern California several times a month, spending several hours each way either in the car or fighting through airports. What if there was an alternative to flights and car rides? If it was up to Tesla CEO Elon Musk and a Colorado company, an answer could come sooner than we think. That answer is called… the Hyperloop System Musk, the man behind both Tesla Motors and SpaceX, has spoken about a high-speed transportation system known as the Hyperloop, a tube transport system that would allow passengers to travel at high speeds. The proposed system could reduce trips between San Francisco and Los Angeles to minutes, and reaching the East Coast from California could take under an hour. Okay, calm down, let’s hear it out. Crazy as it seems, the company ET3, based out of Longmont, Colorado, has already been hard at work making this a reality, calling their project the Evacuated Tube Transport. Yes… I’m thinking about Futurama too… it’s perfectly natural… but still, let’s hear it out.

 

How Does It Work? The Hyperloop has been vaguely described by Musk as a "cross between a Concorde, a rail gun, and an air hockey table." Well f**k, I’m sold!!! A better description might be an elevated tube system with a magnetic levitation system similar to high-speed bullet trains. The kicker would be the enclosed tube, which would provide a nearly friction-less surface for individual capsules to travel in. ET3's Hyperloop-like project already has a number of schematics and plans already in place. They claim an automobile-sized, six-passenger capsule constructed for "outer space" travel conditions could easily reach speeds of 4,000 miles per hour on longer journeys across the country or across continents. In theory, this elevated tube system could be built for a tenth of the cost of high-speed rail and a quarter the cost of a freeway (numbers which I’m sure will change once reality sets in). The projected cost for a passenger to travel from Los Angeles to New York is $100. (WHAT??? ON A BUS??? What do you base those numbers on? I want that deal. It says $299 on Greyhound’s as I type this) The tubes could be connected to form a new superhighway across the United States. They could go underwater and connect to Alaska, Hawaii, and the rest of the world… and then the moon. Oh, NOW you think I’m crazy? Anybody remember the proposed “elevator to space”? ET3 has already built mock-ups and prototypes and is planning a 3-mile test run by the end of 2013.

 

Expanding on Older Ideas - Despite the ingenuity of the idea, it isn't actually that new. In 1972, a paper written by physicist R.M Salter described a tube system known as the Very High Speed Transit System (VHST) that could send people across the United States in under an hour. The system was composed of a series of underground tubes arranged in a network across the country. While several technical problems existed with the idea at the time (no sh*t), Salter also concluded, "The general principles are fairly straightforward: electromagnetically levitated and propelled cars in an evacuated tunnel." The one primary difference between Salter's plan and ET3's is that the VHST would need to be underground, with massive amounts of excavation required. If the Hyperloop or Evacuated Tube Transport was built and succeeded, it could make California's current high-speed rail project obsolete. With a budgeted cost of $70 billion, the high-speed system currently under development would take passengers from San Francisco to L.A. in three hours, potentially six times slower than the Hyperloop. So what do you think? Bullet train going 150 MPH or riding one of those bank tubes at roughly five times the speed of sound? No coin rolls please. Yes, in theory, it’s a great idea… and I look forward to the results of their tests… but yeah, it’s up there with Hoverboards, Teleporters, Dilithium crystal-powered warp drives, Metachlorians, Hypersleep chambers, Unobtainium, Flying Cars, Death Rays, Death Stars, Weather Dominators, Unicorns, Pegasuses (Pegasi?), Dragons, and just about everything else that’s in “test phase” as it’s been for many, many, many years. Still, it’s an awesome concept… good luck, Mr. Musk!

 
 

Batman Update – Batman is more than a man… he’s a symbol… a myth… a legend with which some can use for good… or evil. Unfortunately, some young whippersnapper has briefly taken the symbol for evil. A 16-year-old boy wearing a Batman shirt and mask broke into a building at the Colorado State Fair… then turned himself in to police after seeing his likeness on the news. The Pueblo Chieftain reported that the boy is one of three accused of breaking into the Fair's VIP building early Thursday. The trio took televisions, a laptop and an empty cash register (Wah wah…). The suspects managed to lock themselves in the building and had to break out. KRDO-TV aired surveillance video of the suspect dressed as Batman. After the video aired, the boy turned himself in to police.  Authorities plan to seek charges including burglary and criminal mischief. The boy wasn't named because of his age (doubting it was Bruce Wayne… but wouldn’t that be funny). Spoiler alert: Police were still seeking the other two suspects… who unfortunately weren’t dressed as Superman and the Flash as part of Pueblo’s bizarroworld Injustice League (patent pending). By the way, this story just made me think of my dream from a few years back… and I’m thinking that I may have to see about turning that into a little bit of a comic (so that DC can sue me down the road for using their characters & get their cut, which I’m okay with… after expenses). I’ll keep you posted on that one… and now we need a story of a Batman saving people. I wonder if he was involved in that plane crash at SFO this weekend… the world may never know.

 

Why Soccer Sucks #523 – Now, I consider myself a fairly passionate sports fan. You may also agree that soccer fans are among the more passionate sports fans in general as well. Yes, I said soccer, so it’s not mistaken for REAL football. Obviously there are players in the NFL that… are basically horrible human beings. Just watch any episode of Sportscenter over the past 15 years or so… and I’m guessing there’s at least one reference to yet another player assaulting, murdering, stealing from, running over or shooting at somebody else (or themselves if your name is Plaxico). However, the game itself is typically not life or death (that comes afterwards with the head injuries) like it is with soccer. The latest tale: One man has been arrested in northern Brazil after a referee who fatally stabbed an amateur player over his refusal to leave the field was decapitated by a mob, police said on Saturday. I didn’t make that up. Referee… STABBED a player. Why? Because he wouldn’t leave the field. Repercussion for the referee? Trial? Discipline? Nope. Decapitation! Basically it's the equivalent of the "Fail Mary" referee then stabbing Golden Tate... and the Seahawks crowd ripping him to shreds. Instead, I think they met up earlier this week to "hug it out" or something. Twenty-year old referee Octavio da Silva stabbed the thirty-year old player Josenir dos Santos on June 30^th after dos Santos refused to heed his order to leave, police spokesman Kena Souza told Reuters. A mob then turned on da Silva, killing him before severing his head in the remote town of Pio XII, named after a former pope (pope during WWII). A 27-year-old man was arrested on July 2 and police in the regional headquarters of Santa Ines will continue to investigate the incident, Souza said. Brazil has made significant strides in lowering homicide rates in recent years, as millions were lifted from poverty (and placed in poverty adjacent further away from the town center), but it faces mounting pressures to show it is a safe place for tourists before 12 Brazilian cities host the 2014 soccer World Cup and Rio de Janeiro the Olympic Games in 2016. In Rio de Janeiro on the day of the brawl, Brazil's national team handily defeated Spain in the Confederations Cup, considered a test run for next year's much bigger championship. The eight-team tournament was marked by an unexpected wave of demonstrations, some violent, in part to protest the $14 billion being spent on World Cup preparations amid a lack of adequate public services. So yeah… Brazil isn’t prospering as a nation… but hey, they’ve got the World Cup & Olympics coming. Look at what that did for Athens in 2004!!! Anyway, angry dads at little league games don’t seem so bad now, do they?

 

 

Apocalypse Update – My God! This may be the most frightening update yet… the evil reptile would-be overlords have become aware… and our using our own infrastructure against us. A French post office employee had the fright of her life when a meter-long (3.3-foot) python slithered quietly out of a parcel and rubbed against her. The woman was alone in the post office in the village of Blenod-les-Pont-a-Mousson (which I believe means “Village of the Mouse Pants” in French… Lilie?) in eastern France on Friday evening when she felt the chilling caress and screamed for help. Firemen caught the fugitive reptile and discovered a second one in the parcel. The pair were identified by a vet as ball pythons - non-aggressive snakes that coil up into a tight ball when threatened - and donated to a nearby zoo. "They're not dangerous but they're very impressive," an officer said. Ball pythons are popular with snake enthusiasts as pets but are also a protected species for which owners need a legal certificate stating they have not been taken from the wild. Customs officers raided the home address, in France, of the parcel's sender, where they found no certificates but two other snakes, a stuffed caiman and a stuffed turtle which the owner had been trying to sell over the Internet. The post office stressed that its terms and conditions clearly forbade the shipping of animals, live or dead… and I’m sure the offenders were given a stern talking-to as opposed to a fine or felony or something. What does this mean? Certainly these miniature ball pythons were test subjects… like sending monkeys into space first… test the waters to see if their heads would explode before the mass transportation of weaponized viper squads throughout the world. They may have to reconsider their strategy after being caught… but perhaps that’s just a few “biohazard” stickers away. They’re cunning… they’ve been around since the dinosaurs… they’ve already survived a few apocalypses that they may or may not have had a hand in… so they’ll do what it takes. We just have to be ready. Be careful out there opening your packages. Always have a machete ready. Besides… it helps with opening the package sometimes too.

 

Anyway, that’ll do it for today. We’ve discussed basketball, movies by pedophile directors, bullet trains to hell (LA), Batman going bad, deadly soccer mobs & slither bombs. Kind of a busy day for most blogs… but not for us… and just think, it was a slow past few days. Have a great day everybody!!!

Basketball Christmas 2013

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

It’s that time of year again… basically my half-Christmas every year… when all the GMs, coaches, fans & everybody else involved with the NBA get to see what presents their teams can pick from under the tree of amateur ballers. The big thing that I keep hearing about this draft is that there are “no superstars” where next year they expect a whole bunch… though I only know about Andrew Wiggins whose supposed to be the next LeBron & Marcus Smart who’d probably be the 2^nd pick in this year’s draft if he didn’t like Stillwater, Oklahoma so much… so he’ll probably be #2 next year pending injuries. Apparently there are more… but we shall see.

 

The thing about team sports is that you may LOVE to have a superstar… but there are four other people out there on the court with you in basketball. Michael Jordan wasn’t winning championships by himself. He had guys like Scottie Pippen who nobody expected to be a Hall of Famer when he was drafted… and Horace Grant to grab rebounds… and John Paxson to hit those open threes when MJ was double teamed… and Bill Cartwright to be the defensive anchor… and Ron Harper or B.J. Armstrong to bring the ball up the court… and other bench players like Cliff Levingston & Luc Longley to provide some rest for the starters so they’re fresh in crunch time. It’s a team sport with lots of role players… and this year’s draft could have some fantastic role players that could easily be starters for the next decade or so. Anyway, as you know, I didn’t get to see a whole lot of games until March Madness this year… but here’s what went down Thursday night & what I think about the decision making done… in my humble expert opinion.

 

NBA Draft 2013

 

1. Cleveland Cavaliers – Anthony Bennett – Forward from UNLV – This pick was a curveball to me. Now, I never got to see Anthony play… but from what I understand, he’s a great physical specimen for a power forward & has some great offensive skills. Combined with quick guards like Kyrie Irving & Dion Waiters… and another large Canadian specimen like Tristan Thompson & a seven-foot sideshow Bob that is Anderson Varajeo, the Cavs have a good young core to go with. They also picked up a guy that I heard a lot about going into the draft later in the round with Sergey Karasev (#19 forward from Russia). Good solid pick, though a bit surprising.

  

  

2. Orlando Magic – Victor Oladipo – Forward from Indiana – I saw a few bits of Indiana games early last year when they were preseason #1 and all that… and I really liked Mr. Oladipo’s game. I’ve heard people compare him to D-Wade & all that… but that sh*t needs to stop for a few years. He plays solid defense which is always good, he put up about 15 points in college & he may be a start in Orlando, but that’s because everybody there kinda sucks right now. Well, you know, by NBA standards. Don’t look at me like that. That’s why they have the #2 pick. It wasn’t a fluke. Anyway, it should be a good solid pick… even though, I don’t know… yeah, I’ll just agree with the pick. I wasn’t there for the workouts. He plays D. Gotta love it.

 

3. Washington Wizards – Otto Porter – Forward from Georgetown – I like this as the hometown pick & he really is the best fit for the Wizards too. They already have the guard spots taken care of with John Wall & Bradley Beal… and the post spots with Nene & Emeka Okafor… so the best small forward in the draft was a good solid pick. I also like them picking up Glen Rice jr (#35 guard from NBDL) in the 2^nd round. He has a few character issues that got him out of college & into the NBDL, but hey, as long as he can overcome all that… if he’s HALF what his daddy was, then he’ll be a steal in the 2^nd round.

 

4. Charlotte Bobcats – Cody Zeller – Center from Indiana – Reading the blogs, everybody thinks that this was a ridiculous pick for the Bobcats… who seem to have a habit of ridiculous picks… and that’s part of why they’re HISTORICALLY HORRIBLE the past few years. However, if the only knock on this guy is that he scores, plays defense, wins… but he’s a little skinny & Caucasian aka non-athletic? Then by all means get that guy in the gym, put some meat on his bones & let him continue to score, play defense & win. Seriously, what was his competition? Another tall skinny 20 year old? Prove ‘em wrong, Cody!!!

 

 

5. Phoenix Suns – Alex Len – Center from Maryland – You can’t teach big. I’ve said it at least once every time I’ve reviewed a draft. Many thought that Alex would go #1 because of it… well, I kinda did. However, he has some injury issues, didn’t show a lot of certain skills while playing, but definitely among the best bigs in the draft crop this year. I think that he’ll actually fit in very well in Phoenix & can learn offensive moves from current center Martin Gortat in his development before doing the twin towers kind of thing. Phoenix also picked a guy that I really like with Archie Goodwin (#29 guard from Kentucky). Now… I was forced to watch a few Kentucky games this year… and this guy reminded me a lot of a guy that I saw in UCLA a few years back… who just had a solid all-around game & really athletic… but not really like a superstar kind of demeanor. Well, today that guy is Russell Westbrook… and Archie Goodwin reminded me of him. Basically what I’m saying is… I kinda hoped that the Spurs were gonna pick him up with their #28 pick… but more on that later. Good job, Suns!

 

6. Philadelphia 76ers (from New Orleans) – Nerlens Noel – Center from Kentucky – Most people had Nerlens Noel as the first pick, even though he tore his ACL earlier this year. The knocks against him were the injury concerns (I’m not a doctor, but I know knees can be tricky, especially when there’s not a lot of muscle helping out), he was “unpolished” on the offensive end… but he’s a shot-blocking fool, 20 years old, a little skinny, but he tore his ACL chasing down a guard on a fast break… so he has hustle & a win-first mentality, right? My suggestion: Grow the high top fade to EPIC proportions and/or pick it out like Ben Wallace used to do… and dominate the defense end… and then clean up the glass on offense putting back misses from the quick perimeter players if they deny the entry pass. Well, we shall see. He gets a chance to be a focal point in Philly, which can be good or bad for a 20-year old… but at least he doesn’t have to deal with being the #1 pick. The 76ers also did a great job in picking up a tall point guard Michael Carter-Williams (#11 guard from Syracuse) or soon to be called MCW or MC-Dub or something like that, probably the best point guard prospect in the draft… but then they also got point guard Pierre Jackson (#42 guard from Baylor) in the 2^nd round. Maybe for a backup just in case? Trade bait? We shall see.

 

7. Sacramento Kings – Ben McLemore – Guard from Kansas –I think this guy could be the steal of the Top 10 picks. A lot of people had him going as high as #2 in the draft… but he fell to Sacramento at #7 and they couldn’t be happier. He has amazing skills all around & a very good athlete… and he goes to a team that could really use him. With their current star Tyreke Evans (very similar game play) probably on his way out to a larger market, they really couldn’t ask for more. I LOVE this pick… and hope nothing but the best for them. Ben grew up in adverse poverty… and I’m not sure whether that has led to good traits like humility & perspective or bad traits like hanging with the wrong crowd & lack of discipline… but I’m pulling for ya. Best of luck!

 

8. Detroit Pistons – Kentavious Caldwell-Pope – Guard from Georgia – Never seen him play… but he’s a pretty prototypical two guard, tall, shoots well, decent ball handling skills, might even play some defense from the report. If he works hard & plays well with the other young core there in Detroit, he would be a fan favorite in no time… and I just like his name – Kentavious. Though I’m sure he will also fall victim to the initial nickname game. Welcome KCP!!! I like that Detroit also picked up Peyton Siva (#56 guard from Louisville) because I really liked his game during the tournament this last year. He seems like a good Greivas Vasquez kind of player & should work well for them.

 

9. Utah Jazz (from Minnesota) – Trey Burke – Guard from Michigan – The National Player of the Year is going to Utah. Skeptics have said that he’s undersized for the big leagues… but the Jazz could sure use a pick & roll playmaker like him to go with their abundance of young bigs. I’m also excited that they picked up the biggest of the bigs later in the first round with Rudy Gobert (#27 center from France). He’s a fairly skinny 7’3” Frenchman with the wingspan of a f**king condor… so he just puts his hand up… and he’s five inches from the rim. F**king ridiculous. Does that mean that he’s going to be a superstar? Of course not. Can you teach big? You sure the f**k can’t. Is he the 2^nd coming of Mark Eaton? Only if he puts on another hundred points & a badass Viking beard. He seems more like a Shawn Bradley kind of player… or even a Manute Bol if he can bomb threes… but yeah, obviously a project. He’s not gonna Yao Ming anybody this year. Yes, I was bummed that he didn’t last until the next pick for the Spurs as well. You know how they do with the foreign players. Instead they got another Frenchie… but again, more on that later. Seriously though... look... it's f**king ridiculous how big this guy is...

 

10. Portland Trailblazers – C.J. McCollum – Guard from Lehigh – After drafting the high scoring playmaker from a college nobody heard of last year with Rookie of the Year & WEBER STATE ALUM Damian Lillard, they picked almost the exact same thing this year. He really was the best talent at the spot though… so maybe it’ll be a good backcourt tandem for years to come. Obviously I never saw the guy play last year (apparently he was hurt for most of it anyway… and I don’t even know where the f**k Lehigh College is). The Blazers also picked up sharpshooter Allen Crabbe (#31 guard from Cal) & another guy that I think could be a great 2^nd round steal, Jeff Withey (#39 Center from Kansas). I saw Jeff in a few games… and I didn’t really understand why he wasn’t a big deal leading up to the draft. I could say racism… but nobody would listen.

 

12. Oklahoma City - Steven Adams – Center from Pittsburgh – Never saw him play, all I heard was “raw” but again, you can’t teach height. The Thunder can pick him up & develop him though because they’re already set for a while at center with Serge Ibaka. That’s really all I have to say on this pick.

 

13. Boston Celtics (from Dallas) – Kelly Olynyk – Center from Gonzaga – I saw Mr. Olynyk in a few games… and he’s got some skills. Unfortunately it seems that the Celtics have decided to pack it in for a few years after they traded away their stars Kevin Garnett & Paul Pierce earlier in the day… but Olynyk is a tall, hard-working big with some offensive skills. As long as he picks up the defense a little bit, he could be a fan favorite during the rebuilding process & set himself up nicely in Beantown. Also... I do love the hair. Players in the WNBA can't rock the locks like this guy can...

 

14. Minnesota Timberwolves (from Utah) – Shabazz Muhammed – Guard from UCLA – For the first time in recent memory, former GM David Kahn didn’t do silly as things on draft day for the T’Wolves. The new guy stepped in & took a bit of a gamble by drafting Shabazz. Seen him play a bit, he’s a scorer… but needs to handle his defense, otherwise he may be a flash in the pan kind of player. The thing is… everybody says he has character issues or doesn’t play hard… but when you’re playing for free when you know you should be getting paid for it… sometimes you take that attitude. That’s just how it is. Now that he’s getting paid… dare I say it… possibly Harrison Barnes type player? I also like that they drafted Gorgui Dieng (# 21 Center from Louisville) who is a defensive BEAST!!! They really needed one in Minneapolis. Just grab boards & play defense… he could be the next Adonal Foyle kind of player… and you know I like those kind of role players.

 

16. Atlanta Hawks (from Boston) – Lucas Nogueira – Center from Brazil – The Hawks are looking to make some major moves this offseason with free agents in a few weeks… but they started Thursday by drafting a project big from Brazil. He has the Sideshow Bob hair like Anderson Varajeo but other than that, I have no idea what his skills are. They also picked up one of the top points guards in Dennis Schroeder (#17 guard from Germany) who I never heard of before, but I also REALLY like them getting Mike Muscala (#44 Center from Bucknell) in the 2^nd round. He’s a big solid guy who was the focal point of his team in college, but not really against he best competition (Patriot League). He seems like one of those mid-major guys who might do well at the next level though.

 

22. Brooklyn Nets – Mason Plumlee (center from Duke) – I’m just gonna say it… Brooklyn looks f**king FIERCE for next year now. They had a very good core with point guard Deron Williams, two-guard Joe Johnson & center Brook Lopez… then they pulled trading most of their bench to get Kevin Garnett & Paul Pierce to fill the forward positions… so their whole lineup has multiple All-Star games appearances… and they solidify their front court by picking a player that I thought didn’t get a lot of respect in Mason Plumlee from Duke. He’s big, physical, skilled on offense & defense, he should be a great fit coming off the bench for the next few years. Maybe even an upgrade from Kris Humphries who they traded away for Garnett & Pierce. I like it. Big ups to Brooklyn! THE ROC IS THE BUILDING!!!

 

24. New York Knicks – Tim Hardaway jr – Guard from Michigan – Another one of those “If he’s HALF as good as his dad was…” players but Tim Bug Junior should be able to step in as the backup point guard for the Knicks right from the get-go since Jason Kidd retired & Raymond Felton could give him some good veteran tips. I like the pick… but being the son of a Hall of Famer in the Big Apple could be a lot of pressure too. I’m sure he’ll handle it well.

 

28. San Antonio Spurs - Livio Jean-Charles – Forward from France – My exact response: “Who the f**k is Livio Jean-Charles?” Not the first time that I’ve had that reaction to a Spurs pick (don’t watch a lot of international 19-and-under basketball) but hey, I’ve also reacted to some of their picks like “Who the f**k is Tony Parker? A FRENCH GUY?” or “Who the f**k is Emmanuel Ginobili? Are they drafting a soccer team?” Continue to prove me wrong, Spurs. Continue to prove me wrong. I also like the pick of Deshaun Thomas (#58 forward from Ohio State) late in the 2^nd round. He could be a solid bench performer.

 

Aside from that, not a whole lot more to say about the draft other than I’m excited for basketball to start again… and they’ve been really building up the draft for 2014 already. Fun fact: Anthony Bennett, this year’s #1 pick, is Canadian (along with #13 pick Kelly Olynyk). Yup… and next year’s consensus #1 pick & the “next LeBron” Andrew Wiggins… also hails from Canada. Could there be a Canadian invasion in the NBA? We shall see…

 

NBA 2K13 Update: So… we swept the Nuggets in the NBA Finals… even though I’m still learning the controls of the game for the most part. I see opponents doing certain moves & I’m like “I wanna do that… how do I do that? Where do I go to learn these things?” They have little tutorials from Hall of Famers during the career that you can purchase… and I’ve used them… but I feel like I’m more like “what does the circle button really do?” and there are helpful (yet often confusing) tips throughout game play sometimes… but it’s the same 5-6 over & over with tips like “To box out, hold L2 and blah blah blah” to which I reply “Yeah, I’ve been doing it. Now why are my layups not going in? How do I do a spin move? How about some post plays?” Still, I’m learning… and the game is still real fun & exciting… at least to me. After my 2^nd second… comes contract negotiations for my REAL contract. Also, I have to figure out how I get Monta Ellis & Brandon Jennings to pass AT LEAST once on offense before they throw their fade away corner shots. Not without its flaws… but still a solid game.

 

Have a great day everybody!!!

BALL SO HARD!!! That sh*t cra...

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Busy week at work as usual… and occasionally I’ve been able to find a little levity. Oh, there was one little incident I should probably share that was quite awkward. I was at work & looking for something when a manager motioned to me to go into my office to chat. Instantly I thought “Uh oh, did I do something wrong?” She looked at me straight forward and said… and I quote… “You have a gaping hole in the back of your pants.” I kinda laughed a second… and then noticed that she wasn’t laughing. “What?” I start looking & feeling around, probably looking like a ferret was in my pants. “Where?” “It’s right along the… hem of your pants.” I swear she wanted to say “crack of you’re a$$” but she’s far too lady like in that setting. Yeah, apparently there was about a 4-6 inch “gaping hole” in the hem of my crotch… at work… with no change of clothing. Luckily I knew of a seamstress in the office… but basically had to hang out in the men’s room for about 10-15 minutes while they were fixed. Good times, right? Better a boss to find out than a client, right?

So I’ve gotten around to playing “Assassin's Creed II” which my brother bought me for Xmas… and it’s pretty sweet. I REALLY like maps that you get to navigate through. For those who have never played, it’s basically the tale of somebody basically reliving ancestral memories during Renaissance Italy using a super computer or something. (Not sure on the details, but just go with it). So you’re an Italian noble… and there’s revolution… and betrayal… and you’re on a path of vengeance to avenge the murder of your father & brothers… and it’s beautiful set in the cities of Florence, Rome and some Tuscan villas. It’s a pretty cool game with a lot of variety & smooth mapping. I highly recommend it… and I think I’m only like a third of the way through it… maybe, I have no idea… but it rocks.

Thursday night, I went to Yoshi's with Dizzy to enjoy some fine Japanese cuisine (and bacon wrapped lobster tail) as well as the musical stylings of The Motet... who specialize in funky covers of Grateful Dead & Pink Floyd songs... but tonight it was just the Dead... and it rocked. I highly recommend taking advantage of any opportunity to hear them live... as well as purchase their CDs for $1. That's right... an entire CD... for ONE DOLLAR!!! I've got mine. Here's some news...

Carla Bruni Update - Just in time for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue, a French mayor's plan to erect a statue of President Nicolas Sarkozy's former supermodel wife Carla Bruni in worker's attire has angered the opposition and embarrassed the first lady. Jacques Martin, the mayor of Nogent-sur-Marne to the east of Paris and member of Sarkozy's UMP party, commissioned the statue to honor the mostly Italian immigrant women who used to work at a feather factory in the town (why am I thinking about French maids chasing each other all of a sudden?). But when French daily Le Parisien on Sunday revealed the plan for the statue more than two metres (six-and-a-half feet) tall, at a cost of over 80,000 Euros, the opposition and even the first lady's friends were up in arms. A source close to Bruni-Sarkozy said she agreed to model for sculptor Elisabeth Cibot as she admires her work, but that "it was never suggested that her name would appear." Modelling "is her former job, she no longer does it commercially, but she's often asked to do it, and she often agrees, and always without being paid," the source said… possibly chuckling a little bit. But the swiftly gathering scandal "is using something that has nothing to do with politics to political ends," one of her friends said, requesting anonymity & another glass of champagne. William Geib of the Socialist opposition said the idea of dressing up a likeness of the Italian heiress and pop singer as a worker was "grotesque." "It's an insult to the Italian feather workers, to give them the face of an extremely rich person. I have nothing against Carla Bruni-Sarkozy but she does not represent the workers' world." Michel Gilles, a local member of the right-wing opposition, slammed what he said was a "political coup" ahead of the April-May two-round presidential election, which opinion polls say right-wing leader Sarkozy is likely to lose (but may make a comeback in the second round?). Martin said he voted in favor of the statue at a council meeting last year. "But it was never mentioned that it would have Carla Bruni-Sarkozy's features," Gilles said. The statue is reportedly costing 82,000 Euros (about $108,000), of which the town hall is paying half, and exactly what it will look like is being kept top secret. Look, I don’t get it… I feel like it’s all political BS as usual. Why? Let’s say you want to make a statue about… a cowboy, to commemorate the old west in some sh*t town in Wyoming. The artist is looking for a model… and in lieu of paying someone, they get an offer to model for free from someone who’s exactly what they’re looking for… like Brad Pitt in his Thelma & Louise attire. It’s exactly what they’re looking for & pro bono. Done. No controversy. Wanna know why everybody is in financial crisis & angry? Because politicians focus on stupid sh*t like this instead of getting to solutions for the world’s problems. Besides, she’s no Julie Newmar… but Carla Bruni is still, in a word, statuesque! (That’s right, it’s a “To Wong Foo” reference, deal with it)

Napoleon's 'Gac - A Dutch antique trader is selling his collection of over 5,000 unopened bottles of Cognac and other liquors, which he claims is the biggest of its kind. The most precious bottle in Bay van der Bunt's collection (which is valued at 6 million Euros or about $8 million) dates back to 1795 and was a Cognac taken by Napoleon's army on campaign for the officers. Van der Bunt estimates that bottle is worth between 100,000 and 150,000 Euros. However, anyone interested in that particular bottle may be disappointed: he does not want to sell his bottles one by one, but would prefer to sell the entire collection, which was started by his great grandfather in 1880, to a single buyer by the end of this year (Everything must go! It’s a full literal liquidation sale!). "We are aiming at a wealthy Russian or Chinese buyer, because we think people from these countries are willing to spend their money on this," said Bart Laming, who is handling the publicity for the sale. Van der Bunt wants to sell his collection to someone with a passion for liquor, but also wants a buyer who is prepared to keep the bottles unopened rather than savoring their contents. "In this respect we certainly are afraid that a potential buyer would empty some of them. We will screen potential buyers to minimize that risk". So to make sure I got this straight… he wants somebody to pay several million dollars for a bunch of booze… but not distribute them or get high on their own supply? Basically he wants to be paid ludicrous amounts of money for somebody else to hold onto his booze instead of paying for storage? Good luck with that homey. And I raise my glass! (sip of Courvoisier)

Tongan Branding - A luger from the south Pacific island of Tonga caused a stir at the world championships in Altenberg last week. No, not for his unusual choice of sport or the surprising fact that there are actually lugers in the south Pacific… but for his name, which he had changed to that of his sponsor. Bruno Banani was born Fuahea Semi but changed his name to that of a German underwear maker as he seeks to become his nation's first winter Olympian at the 2014 Games in Sochi, Russia. His move angered International Olympic Committee Vice President Thomas Bach, who called it a "perverse marketing idea." Really? THAT is perverse marketing… and you’re VP for the Olympic committee? I suggest you move out of your glass house into an apartment made out of straw before you start throwing comments like that out. "It is of bad taste to change your name to that of a sponsor. That is too much for me. This has nothing to do with proper marketing," Bach said. However, Bach did go on to say that should the Tongan qualify for the Sochi Games there would be nothing the IOC could do to stop him from competing under that name. "I do not think that we can react to this if that is the name in his passport," Bach said. The IOC is extremely sensitive to ambush marketing tactics during Olympic Games as it seeks to protect its sponsors who have paid hundreds of millions for the rights to advertise (BINGO!!!). Earlier a Tonga official told reporters the move was to raise money as the country seeks to send their first athlete to the Winter Games. As a marketing degree holder, I like it. Why not? If Chad Johnson can change his name to Ochocinco & be as stupid as he wants to be... for free… than I think that Michael Phelps can change his name to Subway Torpedo if the price is right. If boxers can wear advertisements for casino while they bludgeon a man to death in the ring, then who can stop the ring announcer from proclaiming the new WBC welterweight champion Taco Bell-Grande? (Surprise twist: The new champion is Welsh. Now who’s being racist?) If in a joint venture with several companies I want to change my name to $5 Footlong Banana Republic, then
that’s between me & my sponsors. By the way, not sure why I’ve got Subway on the brain… but it’s probably due to a marketing ploy. Play on Bruno! Good luck against Calvin Klein!

Rapunzel Number - Scientists said on Friday that a "Rapunzel Number" may have helped them to crack a problem that has perplexed humanity since Leonardo da Vinci pondered it 500 years ago. Scientists from the University of Cambridge and the University of Warwick said they had devised a "Ponytail Shape Equation", which when calculated using the Rapunzel Number and a measure of the curliness of hair can be used to predict the shape of any ponytail. Cambridge's Professor Raymond Goldstein told Reuters that he and his colleagues took account of the stiffness of individual hairs, the effects of gravity and the average waviness of human hair to come up with their formula. The Rapunzel Number provides a key ratio needed to calculate the effects of gravity on hair relative to its length. "That determines whether the ponytail looks like a fan or whether it arcs over and becomes nearly vertical at the bottom," Goldstein said in a telephone interview. The research also took into account how a bundle of hair is swelled by the outward pressure which arises from collisions between the component hairs. That’s right. Scientists studied the hell out of this… and even da Vinci wondered about it (probably during his ancient years). Why? Scientists said the work has implications for understanding the structure of materials made up of random fibers, such as wool and fur and will have resonance with the computer graphics and animation industry, where the representation of hair has been a challenging problem. So yes, to make your favorite Pixar flicks all the more believable. "Our findings extend some central paradigms in statistical physics and show how they can be used to solve a problem that has puzzled scientists and artists ever since Leonardo da Vinci remarked on the fluid-like streamlines of hair in his notebooks 500 years ago," Goldstein said. The research was conducted by Goldstein, Professor Robin Ball from the University of Warwick and their colleagues. It will be presented to the American Physical Society in Boston on February 28. So… yeah… nothing really to say about this. Just thought it was… interesting. Scientists are studying your ponytails ladies (and hippies).

Well, that'll do it for today. So little time to do these things... and I'm still figuring out my new laptop. So much faster but... trust me 'puter, I know what I'm doing. Just let me do it. I don't need your help. Have a great weekend everybody!!!