High Brow Entertainment

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

Well, it’s been a pretty standard week thus far. I’ve been trying to avoid getting sick since all of my coworkers insist on working so that everybody can share in their misery… but hey, that’s Corporate America. What’s that? Oh you even have paid time off for sickness & you still show up to work because you have to use that time for other things like hair appointments or random days off? So be it. I can understand. I don’t agree… but I understand the concept. That being said, still like my job & am proud to put in a good day’s work.

Dizzy did something AWESOME the other day!!! She assisted her local microbrewery in brewing up a Double RyePA. She was there by 5:30 AM and… well, I don’t even really have all of the details yet… but I’m sure that she’ll elaborate about it in a future post on our beer blog. What’s that? Oh, you didn’t even know that we HAD a beer blog? How is that possible? I feel like I’ve mentioned it a few times back when we first opened it up… but regardless, the link is below. Please feel free to check it out & Like it or Friend it or whatever so that you get those interesting updates.

Terrible Lizard Brewing at:

http://terriblelizardbrewing.blogspot.com  

Just to elaborate on this blog again (because I’d like some viewership), basically it’s a blog about our adventures in beer. Whether it’s our homebrewing (about to start batch #7 this weekend), books that we’ve heard on the subject, documentaries that we’ve seen, touring large scale breweries, patronizing local establishments, attending festivals & events, all centered around the subject of Beer & Beermaking. We find it interesting… and I kinda think that you will too. If not, it’s probably only because of my piss-poor storytelling abilities… and I’m trying to work on that. I’m always up for suggestions.

Last night, Dizzy & I watched a Netflix movie called “Poolboy: Drowning Out the Fury” starring Kevin Sorbo, Danny Trejo… and a host of other great cameos by forgotten stars like Brian Callen, Gary Valentine & even the great Richard Karn (Al from “Home Improvement”). Now, the premise of the movie is pretty ridiculous… so that’s what drew me to it initially… but it’s even better. See… the movie is unfolded as if it were a director’s cut kind of storytelling about the making of the film… as told by the eccentric award-winning, one-eyed possibly maniacal director Saint James St. James (the St. stands for Street). He unfolds his film that… previously was too controversial and too thought-provoking for audiences, so the MPAA denied his distribution or ability for it to be shown in theatres back when it was made in 1990… but luckily, there’s still one surviving VHS tape of the sequel “Poolboy 2: Drowning Out the Fury” as the original was destroyed. Well, “exactly like the Matrix”, you don’t need to see the original to miss out on the story of the sequel… so the story goes. His film is about a Vietnam vet named Sal Bando (Sorbo) who after a traumatic experience, returns home to Los Angeles to find that Mexicans have taken over the pool-cleaning industry… and one has been banging his wife. Well, he doesn’t take kindly to it… and wants to clean up the streets (basically in the most racially insensitive way possible by killing all of the Mexicans in the neighborhood). The kingpin of the pool-cleaning and landscaping cartel (Trejo) finds out… and vows to end this “Poolboy” hero. However… Sal soon finds out… that it’s much DEEPER and more DANGEROUS than he could have possibly imagined. Gripping story, right? Well… it’s obviously a farce… kinda of a National Lampoon’s version of “First Blood” but… with a LOT more ethnic jokes. I highly recommend it as it’s an ode to the horrible cheesy action movies of the 80’s and early 90’s that we all love… but yeah, it’s not going to win any awards… good to see “Hercules”, “Machete” and Al from “Home Improvement” getting work… and I assume if it catches on that the Hispanic community will be up in arms… but until then, enjoy the hell out of it. I personally thought that the director Saint James St. James with his concise delivery & unfathomable ego… connecting with me on a personal level. Go check it out!

Wednesday night I watched another Netflix movie recommended to me by The Wingman called “American Mary” starring Katharine Isabella in the title role of Mary. The story is about a medical student who is going to school to become a surgeon… but while trying to get a new job to pay for it… and kinda stumbling into a somewhat seedy underworld of keeping “roughed-up” guys from not dying… and then into the lucrative world of body modifications… and then being drugged & raped by her professor, she drops the med school thing and basically goes rogue by getting revenge on her professor… and making a LOT of money in the bod mod game. Well, the cops get wind of her from another surgeon rapist (apparently they have big parties like that because they’re surgeons) and the walls are closing in. What’s she to do? They REALLY try to play the whole “girl next door who just wanted to be a surgeon but got swept up in this craziness” and… there was even some poor humor thrown in but… it’s really dark, there’s a lot of extended scenes of surgeries (think “Nip/Tuck” but for about a three-minute montage & more blood as opposed to the 15-second TV ones on that show), some fairly gruesome violent and/or sexual acts though a few things implied, WILD inconsistencies, a LOT of F-bombs given by the professor in class & everybody else in the show for… really no constructive reason other than questionable dialogue, the lead actress is very cute but… not the best actress in the world. I don’t know, I didn’t care for it really. I get that it’s an independent flick and the lines between good & evil are supposed to be blurry (except that all surgeons are serial killing rapists in lab coats apparently) and it wasn’t horrible… but I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone really. Now for some news…

 

Speaking of Shit… - A critic of President Francois Hollande and France's ruling elite literally dumped tons of horse manure in front of the national parliament building in Paris on Thursday in a pungent protest against French politics. I like it. "Out with Hollande and the entire political class. Long live the Sixth Republic," read a message on the side of the man's articulated truck. France's present-day Fifth Republic was founded in 1958 with Charles de Gaulle its first president. “The Sixth Republic” is probably some independent French movie coming in the Spring with a lot of pretention & unkempt genital hair… or maybe that’s “The Sixth Re-pubic”. Anyway, the unnamed perpetrator was detained by police before he was able to shed all of his truckload of dung at the steps of the Bourbon Palace, the building that houses the lower house of parliament on the edge of the Seine river in downtown Paris, witnesses said. Authorities began a mass clear-up operation. Hollande, hit by magazine allegations of a love affair with an actress and battling to restore the fortunes of Europe's second-largest economy, has the lowest popularity ratings of any leader in modern-day France. Ah… remember the days when banging a superhot Fritalian model-actress like Carla Bruni while married to somebody else while elected to a public office was not only acceptable, but basically expected? Ah, but it’s no longer 2007 everybody, it’s 2014. What’s that? Oh, the rumor is that former French President Serkozy & Ms. Bruni met shortly after his divorce in 2007? Well, the important thing is that YOU believe that. Still, I like the leaving of horse sh*t on the steps of parliament. Good show, Froggie!

Farming with Urine – Yes, we’re keeping it high-brow on this blog apparently. The Rich Earth Institute (REI) in Battleboro, Vt., is investigating whether human urine can replace chemical fertilizers. We first learned of the technique over at Modern Farmer. The project, which has enlisted well over 100 volunteers to donate their urine, aims to determine if "essential plant nutrients" found in urine, such as nitrogen, phosphorus and potassium, will work as a kind of all-natural fertilizer. It's not as unusual as you might think. Modern Farmer explains that, "Across the Atlantic, studies have long established urine as a powerful fertilizer." The article goes on to cite a study done by the Stockholm Water Company. Via Modern Farmer:

A study conducted by the Stockholm Water Company in the late 1990s diverted urine from four housing projects to a grain farmer outside the city. The scientists concluded not only that urine could replace quick-acting mineral fertilizers, but also calculated that one Northern European adult pees enough plant nutrients to grow 50 to 100 percent of the food requirement for another person. Other successful trials have taken place in China and Mexico, though none as detailed as the Swedish one.

Regardless of the tone of that news clip sounding like a Northern European is peeing on somebody else’s food, I like the sound of those results. National Geographic spoke with researcher Debendra Shrestha of Tribhuvan University in Kathmandu, Nepal, who said that Nepalese farmers have been using human urine on crops for centuries. But does it work? According to National Geographic, it did for Shrestha. Ugh… okay? Well, if it works for… him? Her? Not sure what sex a Debendra is but it sounds feminine. After conducting an experiment that featured sweet peppers grown in soil with different combinations of urine, compost, and urea ― "the main nitrogen-containing chemical in human urine" ― the researchers found that plants grown in soil that "had a combination of human urine and compost grew the tallest, yielded the most peppers, and had the most total fruit weight per plant." That study's results were published in Scientia Horticulturae. Another study investigated the effect that urine and ash had on growing beets. The researchers found that "urine with or without ash can increase the yield of red beet and furthermore the microbial quality and chemical quality were similar to the situation in mineral-fertilized products." Yet another study that focused on tomatoes found similar results. Still, there are questions. As Modern Farmer notes, traces of pharmaceuticals that can show up in urine are also being studied by REI, with the help of two universities… which kinda makes sense, but yeah… I like the results of that. So… go out and pee on somebody’s garden… and if they give you any guff, simply reply with “You’re welcome!!!” Go Green everybody… and I guess Yellow!!!

Death By Wedgie - A 33-year-old Oklahoma man has been charged with killing his stepfather by giving him an "atomic wedgie," that caused the victim to suffocate on his own underwear. First, let that sink in for… just a moment. Okay, I’ll continue. Brad Lee Davis (not to be confused with Bradley Davis) was charged with murder in the death of 58-year-old Denver St. Clair in a drunken family fight at a residence just east of Oklahoma City, the Pottawatomie County Sheriff's Office said in an arrest affidavit obtained on Wednesday. Police arrested Davis on Tuesday. The affidavit said he "grabbed St. Clair's underwear and gave him an 'atomic wedgie.' Davis allegedly pulled the elastic waistband of St. Clair's underwear over his head and around his neck." Oklahoma Medical Examiner spokeswoman Amy Elliott said the cause of death was asphyxiation and blunt force trauma (ugh… wait, what was the 2nd one?). Pottawatomie County Sheriff Deputy Travis Palmer said Davis and St. Clair were drinking beer (my guess is a 24-pack of Coors?) on the night of December 21st at the older man's residence when St. Clair began speaking ill about his wife, who is Davis' mother. One should know that you don’t speak ill about another man’s mama… especially when you’re both drunken rednecks and he’s a quarter-century younger than you. Investigators said St. Clair's elastic waistband was stretched over his head and that it left ligature marks around his neck. Blood splatter was also found in the kitchen, the living room and on the living room ceiling. See? This is where the blunt force trauma thing comes in. Either the wedgie was applied… and then while strangled by his own underwear’s (apparently superstrong) elastic band, he was then bludgeoned by Mr. Davis… or because he was being strangled by his own elastic band, Mr. St. Clair overreacted to the situation… in a drunken stupor… and on the way to the kitchen to grab a knife or something to cut the band… slipped and banged his head on the linoleum (I’m just guessing marble was out of their price range) and boom… blunt force trauma. Will anyone ever really know what happened? Probably not… especially since the only witnesses are the accused & his mother… who apparently was spoken ill of by the departed. Anyway, Davis was being held in Pottawatomie County without bond. His lawyer was not immediately available for comment. Please drink responsibly… especially on that cheap sh*t.

Amsterdam Update – Here’s an interesting idea that’s being partially funded by the Dutch government. The BBC reports that alcoholics are, “being paid in beer to clean the streets of Amsterdam.” For five hours of work, those who have signed on to help clean up the streets get five cans of beer and receive €10 ($13.50). The program is run by De Regenboog Groep (The Rainbow Group), an organization that aims to help those with, “…social problems, the homeless, the poor, drug users and those with psychiatric problems. The organization provides shelter, relief and aid to people in the margins of society.” They see their litter program as, as the BBC put it, a more pragmatic approach. Janet van de Noord, who runs the program, told the BBC, "It's quite difficult to get these people off the alcohol completely. We have tried everything else. Now this is the only thing that works. We might not make them better, but we are giving them a better quality of life and it's better for the neighborhood, they're giving something back to society." There has been already been a noticeable difference in Oosterpark, a large park in Amsterdam in which many alcoholics have resided. The BBC writes that since The Rainbow Group started their efforts, there have been fewer reports of violent crimes and the park is largely litter free. Rene, a 52-year-old man, is one of 20 alcoholics who are participating. He freely admits that the draw is the free beer and doesn’t seem to be close to sobering up, yet he is happy that he is contributing to society. He told the British news station, “They used to treat us like garbage - and now we are picking up their garbage, we are not the garbage anymore.” I personally really like this idea. I’m sure human rights & addiction groups will have their problems with it as it’s not really a solution to the big problem… but at least it’s a solution. When the alternative is them begging for change or committing violent acts to get their beer, then I prefer the idea of giving them a six-pack (or I guess five-pack? Do they take one for themselves?) and a couple Euros for half a day’s work.



Hmm… I wonder if we could get Budweiser to sponsor a program like this here in San Francisco. God knows we have the homeless… damn temperate weather & apparently non-violent working class. I mean… let’s face it, in Los Angeles the cops can beat a homeless man to death on video and be quickly acquitted & almost completely slide under the national radar (as long as the homeless man is of Caucasian descent, but that’s another thing) so it’s either work programs like this into the system… or we have to have SFPD start cracking some heads. Hmm… speaking of crack… if the Budweiser sponsorship doesn’t work out… maybe crack will be the cheap alternative. Damn… I’ve got some great ideas. I should run for office.

Reporter: “Mayor Love, your ‘Filling In the Cracks’ clean-up campaign has caused a lot of controversy. While the results are unquestionable in San Francisco being voted yet again as the Greenest Big City in America, some would question your methods in that you’re using the addictions of others, namely the homeless, to your benefit. What is your response to that?”

Mayor Love: “It’s not MY benefit… it’s OUR benefit, as a community. You see… until we find a solution to the addictions that these people are afflicted with… or they find the ability in themselves to overcome these problems, then I personally like the opportunity to give them a helping hand… and the city is safer because of it.”

Reporter: “Don’t you think that’s more of a direct result of your ‘Crack Down on Crime’ campaign where individuals found selling crack-cocaine outside of a designated work-release center are bludgeoned by the fire department?”

Mayor Love: “Crime is down. Our firefighters are fit & active. Heck, no major fires in the past six months. I can’t take all the credit, it’s mostly today’s technology but… ah heck, you’re welcome everybody!”

Reporter: “And there’s still the controversy concerning the shutdown of one lane on the Golden Gate Bridge… and the email trail between you & one of your top advisors that clearly implicates…”

Mayor Love: “As I’ve told you before… if the unions would’ve headed my warnings about bullsh*tting a bullsh*tter, then it wouldn’t have been an issue. They didn’t play ball… so take it up with them. On another note… HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE? There’s ALWAYS lanes closed… for absolutely no reason… at all. We have an entire multi-billion dollar two-mile stretch of bridge… sitting about 50 yards parallel to a new multi-billion two-mile stretch of bridge… that goes to THE EXACT SAME F**KING SPOT! Fun fact… we’re not using one of those stretches… six lanes each way… and traffic is ridiculous… why? Because we have millions of people in dozens of square miles. You think people move through tubes like they’re in Futurama? Does anybody have any real questions? By the way, is everybody enjoying their beverages? That’s a bourbon barrel porter that I made partnering up with Anchor Steam… it hits shelves on the new city holiday, Love Day, April 26th. THAT should be your lead story. Peace, I’m out…” Drops the mic & walks away…



Yup… Tom Ford & Chris Christie ain’t got sh*t on me. Have a great day everybody!!!

Randy Newman Can Keep It

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, had a basketball game Thursday night… and we did okay… but again, the officials kind of reamed us good in the 2nd half once we started getting our sh*t together. Then a few people on our team lost their tempers a bit, more like just voicing their opinions more than once & it just went downhill from there. I had the play of the game with my first in-game dunk in a long time. Spin move along the baseline, spinning up at the hoop & BOOM goes the dynamite. We lost though… so whatever.

After the game, Nurse was excited to watch her new DVD purchase of “Bridesmaids” starring Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph & Rose Byrne, so I joined her as I kept hearing it was “The Hangover for girls” which is quite a bold marketing ploy. Then again… it’s not like there’s a lot of movies out there saying that they’re “Dirty Dancing for guys” or anything. Anyway, the story is about a woman (Wiig) whose best friend (Rudolph) is getting married, which is awesome. However, there’s a new friend in the mix (Byrne) whose rich, pretty & a bit of a b**ch at times… so catty hijinx & craziness ensues for some reason. Yeah, the plot didn’t really appeal to me… but yeah, it was pretty hilarious. I’m sure that most of you who are going to ever see it have already… but I’d recommend it. By the way, on a side note, I want to be Jon Hamm when I grow up. “This is awkward because… I kind of want you to leave, but there’s really not a way for me to say it without being a dick.”

Remember a while back when J-Mo & I went to see “Captain America” in theatres… and we talked about going to see “Thor” in theatres (apparently a few weeks late)? Well, I finally got “Thor” through Netflix, so J-Mo & I met up to watch it. By the way, he’s got a great new job near closer to work than where he was before… so congratulations to J-Mo!!! Anyway, back to “Thor” starring Chris Hemsworth, Sir Anthony Hopkins & Natalie Portman. This is another one of the Marvel comic book adaptation movies that are leading into “The Avengers” next year (along with Iron Man, Hulk, Captain America, etc) to be directed by THE Joss Whedon (“Firefly”, “Buffy”, etc) in a culmination of awesomeness. However, I’ve heard from multiple sources that this was the worst of the bunch. We shall see. The story is about a prince among the Nordic gods named Thor (Hemsworth) who is a bit of a childish arrogant war-hungry prick… but after starting a war between his people & interstellar frost giants bent on domination of Earth (no, that wasn’t a typo, I said frost giants), his father King Odin (Hopkins) strips him of his powers… and casts him down to Earth to… I don’t know, sit in the corner or something. Meanwhile, his evil brother Loki is in cahoots with the frost giants (gasp, spoiler alert, but not really) so that he can become king instead of Thor… and while on Earth, Thor meets a superhot scientist (Portman) and learns how to think of others & be selfless… but will it be too late for Earth? Anyway, check it out. It was pretty good… but yeah, I would have to agree with the worst of the Marvel bunch thus far. Not really director Kenneth Branagh’s fault (“Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein” & Shakespearean adaptations mostly) but the source material was the toughest to make plausible and work with the other titles. Also, another great line that I’d love to use one day from the movie… casually walk into a pet shop & yell out “I NEED A HORSE!!!”

Friday after work, I headed straight to Malibu… as I was told that the weekend would be spent there. Long story short, I drove through Malibu for about 5 minutes Sunday morning… the rest was in Woodland Hills, West Hollywood, etc. No worries. The drive down there Friday night was pretty boring by myself… but luckily I was entertained by good tunes, lightning storms & of course… wildfire. Since it was dark the whole 6 hour drive (pretty good time given delays, but Gretchen goes 80+ very easily on the open road), it was appreciated. Got to the hotel just before midnight & would meet up with Filly & her family the next morning.

Saturday, I met up with them at a nice little brunch place… next door to the Church of Scientology. The food was pretty good (Eggs Benedict & some great French toast).

The rest of the day was spent doing thrift store shopping & wandering around WeHo… then out to the LaBrea Tar Pits for a few minutes (free wandering of prehistorical stuff) then I took Filly to Venice Beach, but because it was a little gloomy & chilly, the freaks were nearly non-existent. She felt let down… but hey, I was there, so it’s all good.

Saturday night, we went to a Gothic horror rock opera that Filly’s sister was starring in called “CarnEvil” at a theatre in West Hollywood (I think, got so turned around & can never tell where neighborhoods start or end in LA). The story is about a family carnival… and the dark twisted history involving the family… chuck full of magick, suspicion, betrayal, murder, shadow puppets dream sequences, alligators, fetuses, dancing, love, torture, and above all… music. The actors were pretty fantastic… but you could tell that a few of the actors were only there for dancing… but overall, I thought it was great… and you know that musicals aren’t my thing. It was very interactive, small venue of maybe a hundred people in attendance, special effects were pretty good for the budget too. The sound could’ve used some work… but it was opening weekend, so I’d highly recommend going to check it out. I want to say it was the Sacred Fools Theatre or something of that sort. Google CarnEvil.

After the play, we went out for a few drinks at a nearby bar with some of the actors & had a few beers and laughs. That evening, Filly wanted to just drive around LA a bit… so I took her down to see the lights of downtown by LA Live, then back across town… and around 2 AM, I was pretty bored so we parted ways & I drove back to my hotel getting there around 3:30 AM thanks to 405 being closed & rerouted. Yay! Traffic jam, even at 3 AM, gotta love LA. Randy Newman can keep it as far as I’m concerned.

Sunday, I met up with Filly & her family again for brunch at The Shutters on Santa Monica Beach… and then said my goodbyes as they were heading to the airport & I was heading northward towards San Francisco. The drive back wasn’t that bad either, just getting back around 10 PM or so. Good times! Filly was a little agitated with her family (they can do that) but I was there… and again, she really makes me feel like her best friend… and she’s certainly one of mine. I know that she would do anything she could for me… and vice versa. The world needs more great friends like that.

Monday, we won at softball again… and we went to a nearby bar for beer & pizza afterwards. We talked about doing it after most games now… you know, to keep the undefeated streak alive & build comradery. We’re even talking about doing a winter league too… which would be great because practice makes perfect… and I’m doing okay, but I don’t like being a weak link or anything. I’ll keep you posted.

Tuesday night, I got a surprise. After nearly two weeks of hounding the doctor’s office for an appointment, they finally called back & let me know that there was an opening Thursday morning for the minor surgical procedure that I needed. Kind of last minute… but hey, I’ll take it. Work was okay with it. Now I just have to get used to the idea of wearing a pretty noticeable bandage on my left cheek for a bit (and probably bruising, etc). Oh… and that’s after somebody cuts out a piece of my face. Okay, so it’s really better than that… but hey, it is what it is. Of course I’m a little worried, but I know it’s just minor. It’s not even that big of an area. I plan on working Thursday afternoon… but after speaking with the doctor, it might not work out that way. They recommended that I plan on taking the full day off. We’ll see though. I’m a pretty big guy.

Oh… and more good news about the trip… Filly FINALLY remembered to make me a copy of the Halloween pictures from last year (11 months later). What does that mean? Well… tomorrow… when I’ll be at the apartment recovering from a minor surgery instead of playing basketball… you may get to FINALLY hear the incredible stories & see some of the beautiful sights of Halloween in the Big Easy. You are so lucky that I decided to go on the trip this past weekend.

Anyway, I guess that’ll do it for today. Sorry it’s been so infrequent with the postings… but hey, I’m a busy guy. Three more weeks until my dad comes to visit for our male bonding weekend. Plenty of things going on between now & then. Have a great day everybody!!!

Patrick - Saint of Green Bagels

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

HAPPY ST PATRICK’S DAY!!! Well, yet again it has been a while. Just been hella busy with roommate interviews, social activities, errands, trips to exotic locations, natural disasters, and the like. Let’s see, last I left off was Monday I think… so about a week ago. We had some more roommate interviews… and long boring & slightly frustrating story short, we have a new roommate… with paperwork signed & she moved in over the weekend. We interviewed four people (including one incredibly energetic girl who was my favorite) on Tuesday, but basically just ended up offering the room like “First one to sign a check & start the paperwork, gets the room” so the student sleeping on a friend’s couch was the first… but she seems okay in the four minutes that I spent chatting with her thus far. I’ll keep you posted. I don’t even have a nickname for her yet… that’s how little we’ve met.

Thursday night, Jackie D, Carmen & I went out to dinner at Pasquale’s near Carmen’s new apartment. We had a fun dinner, just the three of us, some fine Italian food, a bottle of wine & good times. We filled each other in on events like Jackie D’s move to Philly, Carmen’s new apartment, my ongoing roommate search & how it was frustrating me because I was thoroughly convinced that Tracy was trying to sabotage it by being genuinely creepy & pointing out ever flaw in a horrible manner… but yeah, mostly just laughs & then we hung out at Carmen’s place for a bit.

So… later on that night, I got a text message around midnight from my Wingman saying, “Not sure if you’re up but Japan just got seriously pimp handed by Mother Nature! DAMN!!!” of course this was in regards to the 8.9 earthquake that everybody’s talking about on the news. As details started coming in, there was talk of a tsunami… and then it hit me… I live on the coast now. Of course the news reported it with tsunamis being ten meter high waves traveling hundreds of miles an hour and destroying everything in its path… but after my initial thought of “What did that Christmas time tsunami in Indonesia do the West Coast of the US? Nothing, right?” then I thought… “Well damn, should I be packing up Gretchen, waking up the roommates & heading for Tahoe?” I mean… it was around 1 AM when I went to fill up Gretchen’s tank just in case (and I was going on a road trip the next day) but the more I thought about it, the more I thought that it would be best for me to stick around. I was in a fairly safe situation anyway, being on the backside of the first MAJOR hill on the coast, but I also have a 4WD vehicle to help get people out if they’re trapped, I’m prepared for such things, and you know me… I just want to be a hero deep down. So the next morning, after getting a few hours of sleep, I went about the day as usual. Told Jackie D about the tsunami as we drove to work, fielded text messages from friends & family as they awoke to the news, but nothing really happened along the coast other than a few boats in Santa Cruz got knocked around apparently. However, it is a tragedy in Japan. Please give donations to help them out… or Godzilla will be a REALITY!!!

The thing that really struck me about the whole incident… was how little I thought about material things when there was an impeding threat. A giant wave could’ve been heading out to wipe out the Bay Area… and maybe the state of California… but the things that were rushing through my head wasn’t “Oh my gosh, I’m going to die… and all of my stuff is going to be underwater.” I was taking a quick inventory of what I really care about. “Let’s see, Bubbles is in Utah so she’s safe. If I head for Tahoe, I’m going to tell my roommates to see if they want to ride… but Brutis has to come with me otherwise Bubbles will literally kill me… and then we’ll have to swing by Carmen’s because she doesn’t have a car… do I have water? Grab a few things from the pantry… med kit… flashlight batteries are charged… got the scotch brite pads so we can start a fire if needed… I’m already packed for clothes… would the bridge be the best way? Definitely. Should I call my mom to let her know that I’m fine? My dad? Should I wait until morning or I’m safe? I don’t want them to worry…” You know, stuff like that. I was even trying to figure out a good way to get Bubbles’ roommates in the Jeep if needs be (even though they all have their own cars). I don’t know, just makes you kind of think about what’s really important to you. Again, if you get the chance, help out Japan. Obviously the community here in San Francisco is affected by it, lots of friends & family across the ocean… and our hearts go out to them.

Friday, went to work as normal, fielded texts & emails from family & friends, then after a half day, picked up Jackie D & headed for SoCal. The drive was pretty uneventful other than we listened to a lot of music… and we both love love LOVE “The Blueprint” through & through… so that was played a few times. CLASSIC!!! I was also educated a little bit on the likes of Drake, Bruno Mars, Trey Songz, Nicki Minaj & a whole bunch of others that I hadn’t really heard much of before. Yes, I’m that guy. It was about a five hour drive, we checked into the hotel, & had dinner at Farm of Beverly Hills. FYI – The over roasted chicken breast there… absolutely delicious. Go for it. After dinner, we met up with Lilie in Marina del Rey for some salsa dancing at The Warehouse. It was a lot of fun… and it had been a while since I could show off some of the salsa moves. Sigh… like almost a decade now since I was doing it a lot. Sh*t! Time flies…

Blurry Celebrity Sighting - I think it's Billy Baldwin...

That night, after a few drinks, Jackie D & I were just chatting about this and that… and she said something along the lines of “$teve, I gotta tell you something. You’re a different guy when you’re around different people.” “Well yeah… isn’t everybody kinda that way?” “What I mean is… I’ve seen how you are around me… obviously… and we’re cool, laid back, whatever. I’ve hung out with you & Bubbles… and you guys are best friends & all… but you’re also always checking to make sure she’s doing okay & watching over her and all that stuff. Tonight with Lilie, I noticed that when we were talking, she say you out dancing & having a good time… and it was like… she had never seen that side of you before… and when we were chatting out on the deck having drinks, you were a little more… calm & collected. It just might be the way you are… but yeah, it’s just odd because… I don’t know who you are, ya know?” “Wow… I guess you’ve got a point there. Yeah, I do kind of adapt to my audience & environment a lot… but I like to think it’s still me.” “Yeah, I can see that… I don’t know, just something I noticed… and it was a HUGE difference between the personalities or whatever.” She may have a point. I really adapt to the people I’m around. I know with Bubbles, she’s been sick a lot of the times the three of us have hung out. When we were out on the deck, I didn’t need to yell or anything. Jackie D’s a big girl… and I don’t feel like I need to check to see how she’s doing as much as if… I were hanging with Bubbles (because I’ve let her be her… and ended up carrying her home TOO many times) but yeah… am I really being ME? Who is ME? Great thought-provoking question, right? Who are YOU? Do you know the REAL you? Or just the you that you pretend to be for the sake of others? Deep thoughts… by Dr Love…

Saturday, we had some breakfast burgers at Big Dean’s on Santa Monica Beach, then met up with Lilie again to see the Pier, ride the roller coaster, drive out to Beverly Hills to stalk some celebrities, gander along Rodeo Drive, cruise the Sunset Strip, then up to Griffith Observatory for these pictures…

Hollywood Sign & Griffith Observatory

After that was dinner at House of Blues, checking out Mann’s Chinese Theatre & then surprisingly… no clubbing, but instead we headed down to Laguna Niguel for a few bottles of wine & relaxing. Here are some pictures of that too…

Celebrity Sighting #2 - My inspiration Shrek

Celebrity Sighting #3 - The Foxx & Jackie D

(please disregard the Madame Tussaud in the background)

View from room at Laguna Niguel...

Sunday, we slept in a bit, had some lunch at Salt Creek Grille, and then drove back for 7 hours. Again, nothing really eventful other than a lot of music and we made fantastic time. Monday, we met up with Carmen after work for some dinner at an Indian restaurant called Musala & that was pretty good times too. Jackie D was leaving the next morning (like 4 AM) for Philly, so yeah, goodbyes were said… but not before we watched an absolutely horrible movie called “MacGruber” starring Will Forte, Kirsten Wiig & Val Kilmer. Now, when I’m watching a movie based on a pretty lame SNL skit, I tend to give it some leeway. It should go without saying… but yeah, this one was pretty bad… and I think killed any future implications that a “MacGyver” movie franchise would be a good idea. Anyway, it’s the story of a legend in the field of espionage named MacGruber (Forte) who is asked to come out of retirement to get back a nuclear missile from the evil mastermind Cunth (Kilmer… and yes, you know it’s pronounced with a silent H throughout the movie). Well, after accidentally exploding his dream team of soldiers, MacGruber must team up with a new recruit (Ryan Phillippe) & the best friend of his murdered wife (Wiig). Basically, there was a lot of incredibly vulgar stuff going on… and I’m about as desensitized as they come… but yeah, it wasn’t really funny… or coherent… and at times, I realize it was purposely so… but it didn’t matter. I didn’t really care for this movie. Bring on “Hot Rod 2” or something…

Monday was back to the usual busyness of business… and it was also the day that Jackie D left for Philly. Also, the newest roommate has moved in… but still haven’t really got a good name for her yet as we haven’t talked much (odd hours & keeps to herself). Soon I’m sure…and basically this week has been busy with work, running errands & then bad weather on top of it all, so not a lot to report on other than a few movies during the late nights… so here we go with those…

First up was “The Presidio” starring Sir Sean Connery, Mark Harmon & a young Meg Ryan. The story is about a murder at… you guessed it… THE Presidio… as in where I live, but back in the 80’s when it was almost exclusively a military base & federal land (still kind of is… but they rent it out). An SFPD detective who used to be a cadet there (Harmon) is brought in to help with the investigation since a car chase led into the city & teams up with his former commanding officer (Connery) to bring the killers to justice. Along the way, the detective meets the hot daughter (Ryan), past issues become prevalent, shots are fired, people are betrayed, people fall in love, you know the routine. Best part about this movie though… was watching the car chase through the Presidio, then into the streets of Pacific Heights, and then through Chinatown and saying out loud “I know that restaurant!!!” or “I just drove that yesterday to go pick up Carmen!” So what if I’m a nerd, it was an okay movie. Then again, Peter Griffin says Mark Harmon is the greatest actor on planet Earth so… who am I to deny him that distinction?

I followed that up with “Saw: The Final Chapter” starring… well, nobody of real relevance except a brief cameo by Cary Elwes (“Robin Hood: Men in Tights”). This is the 7th (and God willing final) installment of the Saw series which has grossed a sh*t ton of money as most half-ass horror movies do. Basically, there’s the Jigsaw killer who puts people in these horrific trap situations with the choice of do some crazy sh*t & get maimed… but survive… or don’t do it & die a horrible death, the choice is yours. The twist in this one… is there’s a Jigsaw survivor who is out promoting his new book about the experience & trying to help those who have been through traumatic situations… but a secret from his past is going to come back & put him through some serious trials… oh and the cops are still trying to find a killer too. Gore, twists & turns, you know the series. My major concern was that… yes, it was made for 3-D, so there was a lot of parts that just seemed REALLY stupid… because you know, in 3-D it’s stuff flying at you… mostly splatter. It was a horror flick. If you like them, check it out.

Last night was “Ong Bak 3” starring Tony Jaa, who before joining a monastery was going to be the future of martial arts movies. Basically it’s a continuation of Ong Bak 2… which is a completely different story from the original Ong Bak… but hey, Ong Bak had recognition because of the amazing athleticism of the star, so they decided to do a period piece with the same name. I am a huge fan of these movies (even though the stories are often a bit to be desired) but the action sequences are amazing. If you like the first two movies… or have seen “The Protector” and it blew your mind, check this movie out… but then again, I’m a bit of a martial arts nerd.

Anyway, that’s enough shorthand of the past week plus… and now I must go to celebrate St Patrick’s Day. Have a great night everybody!!! Drive safely (and sober)!!!

Road Trip 2010 - Los Angeles

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Day 5 – Los Angeles – 361 miles

Started off the day with breakfast at the Monterey Crepe Company…and made the bold choice of a nutella & banana crepe. It was a poor choice…but it was my fault. The crepe part was delicious, just the choice in extras. Then I headed down the Pacific Coast Highway with a little bit of rain and wind…but it was still gorgeous…and I saw a condor. I stopped once for a few pictures…and this condor literally swoop down close enough that I could see its red turkey neck and white under-feathers and all. I took a picture…but it was when he/she was already a good distance away…so you can’t really tell. Anyway, after about two hours of driving, I showed up at Hearst Castle and was able to take a tour over an hour earlier than scheduled. Okay, so for those of you who don’t know, Hearst Castle was one of like 30 residences that mega-bazillionairre W.R. Hearst owned all over the world…but this was his prize jewel. Perched on the cliffs of San Simeon in California’s Central Coast, even the guest houses of this place are an exercise in decadence. You know what, I’m just going to let the pictures show you all about it…and if you want to learn more, check the website. Here you go…

Pretty nice, huh? Yeah, it's a guest house...

Still the guest house...

3000 year old Egyptian relics...on his doorstep

The main house

After visiting the Castle, I drove to LA at a speed that I’d rather not say. On that note though, my speedometer only goes to 100…but Gretchen wasn’t even breaking a sweat (RPMs about 2400). Cool, right? Anyway, along the way, I saw a few cool things…like the city of Cambria, which one of my former coworkers was aptly named after. Absolutely gorgeous. Then about the time that I needed gas, I ran into McKittrick…where James Dean last fueled up before dying in a car crash about twenty miles away. Here are some pictures…

Traffic was actually pretty fantastic until about two miles from my downtown LA hotel, then it was pretty ridiculous…but I made it safe and sound. Shortly after checking in, I met up with Lilie for some dinner at The Grove, which is a pretty fancy schmancy shopping complex with just about any kind of food that you could want in their market area. And so you can guess what kind of food I wanted – Soul Food. Luckily Lilie had just returned from a New Orleans vacation, so she was longing for the food as well. We caught up on goings-on and wandered around the Grove. It was a pretty nice setting…

Afterwards, we parted ways…and I went to the hotel and slept like a baby.

Day 6 – Los Angeles – 13 miles

During the morning, I wandered around downtown LA en route to the Museum of Neon Art (MONA) but in a truly fatidic manner, they didn’t open until 2 PM that day…so I about 4 hours early. Schucks. So I wandered some more…

Disney Concert Hall

LA Cathedral

Chinatown Gate

For the afternoon, I decided to once again nerd out…by going to the LaBrea Tar Pits. Yes, all the culture and incredible things to do in the city of Los Angeles…and I went to a pit of tar that stupid animals fell into back before time was time. Why? Because it’s f**king awesome. Behold…

After nerding out, I went next door to get my culture on at the LACMA (LA County Museum of Art). Again, because of my respect for museums to make a buck, I didn’t take a whole lot of pictures (and security was pretty tight and ill-informed on what I was allowed to photograph) but it was mostly modern art anyway…so pretty f**king ridiculous. Here are some examples…

Familiar Rodin statues

Sigh... Modern Art

The afternoon was pretty warm (mid-80’s but remember, I’m used to 20’s & 30’s now) so I decided to relax on the rooftop pool and tan up a bit. It actually got to be a little chilly when the wind picked up a bit…but all in all, a great way to relax…and I didn’t mind the breeze one bit. The pool was still like a warm bath. After swimming, I relaxed in the room and watched the NFL Draft. Oh I’ve got plenty of opinions about it…but that’s not why you’re here. I just hope the Eagles know what they’re doing.

That night, Lilie & I met up with former Boss Man B, who lives in LA now, and one of his friends for some dinner at Arashi Sushi (fantastic atmosphere with great food) and then drinks at the WP24 lounge, which is one of Wolfgang Puck’s restaurants at the new Ritz-Carlton, Los Angeles at LA Live. They made some great adult beverages with a beautiful 24th floor view of downtown. I highly recommend it. It did however make me miss my 34th floor apartment in Denver a little bit…but not too much. Anyway, great times catching up with Boss Man B. Then I took the elevator downstairs and slept like a baby.

Day 7 – Los Angeles – 0 miles

You read that correctly. This was the ONLY day that I didn’t drive Gretchen. Why? Lilie wanted to chauffer me around…and who am I to deny her? Now, for the weekend, I really didn’t have an agenda set up…because I’ve done most of the touristy things in the LA area before. So I thought “Let’s ask Lilie if there’s anything that she has wanted to do…but hasn’t done yet for whatever reason.” After asking, it became clear…that we were going to go to Universal Studios Hollywood. Luckily, she was with a movie nerd too, so if she had any questions, it was better than having your own personal tour guide. I have been here before…but not since Jurassic Park the Ride was brand new…so like 15 years at least. Anyway, here are the pictures…

Just wanna point one thing out...

Nobody around when my picture's taken...

but 8 seconds later...

Lilie is surrounded by people

Point: People just like being around Lilie

(and I may have a body odor problem)

"Great Scott that's tasty chicken!!!"

My favorite fictitious place in the whole park...

I was almost on the Apollo 13 mission...

but I was born about 40 years too late

I know what you're thinking,

"$teve, you look different with your shirt off..."

"KOOOOONG!!!"

The Bates Motel

War of the Worlds

Afterwards, we went to the Griffith Observatory. Why? Why the hell not? There’s the Hollywood sign, it was featured in “Rebel Without a Cause” and we got to see the LA skyline at sunset. Oh…and it’s an observatory. I almost forgot to mention that. Anyway, please observe…

Lilie's Gone Hollywood

The night was not yet done, for we were hungry by this point. So we went to the Thai Town area (seriously, there’s a Little (country) for every nationality in LA) and went to the Palms. The reason was they have great Thai food…and every night there’s a Thai performer who dresses up and sings Elvis songs all night long. SOLD!!!

"Rrrrove meee tendel... Rove me truuue..."

Well, that pretty much sums up on my nights in downtown LA…but next, I journey to Newport Coast and beautiful Orange County for some sun & fun. Can’t wait to show all of you. In the meantime, have a great night everybody!!!