Showing posts with label europe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label europe. Show all posts

Friday, February 3, 2012

Spanish Lotto Story




Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Just a few more days until Super Bowl XLVI (pronounced “xil-vee” almost like Sylvie) and I’m ready for a party even if nobody else shows. Hell, I may even strike up the grill in the backyard if the mood sets me right. Let’s see, what’s happened the past few days? Bubbles & I had a nice Italian dinner at Il Borgo, a really nice place for a first date… hence why she knew of the place after a bad first date… but liked the restaurant & wanted to enjoy it with a REAL man. The atmosphere was very nice, the food was pretty good though the raviolis were a little firm & the service was pretty good too. Bubbles made a comment afterwards that the waitress was really focusing on me whenever she said anything… and my response was “Of course she was… She assumed it was our first date or something & she knows where her tip is coming from… the one paying the bill 99% of the time in that restaurant.” Overall, a great dinner with great company… and we got to catch up a bit & talk about things.

Fun fact: The other week when I loaned Gretchen to Bubbles for the weekend, on the drive back from Tahoe she ran a toll booth so I got the ticket. She said of course that she would pay for it & just let her know how much when it comes in. Well, this is San Francisco with their ridiculous prices on parking tickets, registration, etc so I thought I’d play a little joke. The notice came in the mail… and I sent her a text “Jesus! $230 for a toll violation?” and that was it. I pictured her on the other end frantically asking the other guests in the jeep to chip in, worrying a bit about how she was going to pay that on such short notice, probably having a few drinks to help her think… so after a few hours, I sent “Sorry typo, it’s just $30.” Yes, I’m an a$$ from time to time. Well, she mentioned that that was exactly what she did for the few hours leading up to that. I apologized but she’s got a sense of humor… and she’s known me forever… so it’s always a little expected.

Wednesday night marked the first time in a LONG time that all four roommates were in the same room at the same time. Literally months since that happened… so we celebrated by ordering pizza, drinking a bottle of wine & watching the news (Daily Show & Colbert Report). Just thought that I’d share that with everybody. Here’s some real news…

RIP Don Cornelius – In one of the worst possible ways to start Black History Month, the great Don Cornelius, the silken-voiced host of TV's "Soul Train" who helped break down racial barriers and broaden the reach of black culture with funky music, groovy dance steps and cutting-edge style, died early Wednesday of an apparent suicide. He was 75 years young. Police responding to a report of a shooting found Cornelius at his Mulholland Drive home around 4 a.m. He was pronounced dead of a self-inflicted gunshot wound about an hour later at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, according to the coroner's office. Police Officer Sara Faden said authorities have ruled out foul play. Detectives have not found a suicide note and are talking to relatives about his mental state. His death prompted many to speak of the positive influence he and his show had on pop culture, music and the black community. "God bless him for the solid good and wholesome foundation he provided for young adults worldwide and the unity and brotherhood he singlehandedly brought about with his most memorable creation of 'Soul Train,'" said Aretha Franklin, an early performer on the show. Franklin called Cornelius "an American treasure." The Rev. Jesse Jackson told KNX-Los Angeles that Cornelius "was a transformer." "'Soul Train' became the outlet for African-Americans," Jackson said, adding that he talked to Cornelius a few days ago and there were no signs Cornelius was upset. Others also expressed their grief. "I am shocked and deeply saddened at the sudden passing of my friend, colleague, and business partner Don Cornelius," Quincy Jones said. "Don was a visionary pioneer and a giant in our business. Before MTV there was 'Soul Train,' that will be the great legacy of Don Cornelius. "His contributions to television, music and our culture as a whole will never be matched," he said. "My heart goes out to Don's family and loved ones." Clarence Avant, former chairman of Motown Records, said, "Don Cornelius' legacy to music, especially black music, will be forever cemented in history. 'Soul Train' was the first and only television show to showcase and put a spotlight on black artists at a time when there were few African-Americans on television at all, and that was the great vision of Don." "Soul Train" began in 1970 in Chicago on WCIU-TV as a local program and aired nationally from 1971 to 2006. You read right, it didn’t STOP until 2006. It showcased such legendary artists as Franklin, Marvin Gaye and Barry White and brought the best R&B, soul and later hip-hop acts to TV and had teenagers dance to them. It was one of the first shows to showcase African-Americans prominently, although the dance group was racially mixed. Cornelius was the first host and executive producer. My sincere condolences to his family & friends.

Boxing Trainer Angelo Dundee Dies - The biggest fight in boxing history might not have been nearly so big were it not for the cunning and quick thinking of trainer Angelo Dundee. Long before Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier met for the first time in their iconic heavyweight title bout at New York’s Madison Square Garden in 1971, Dundee saved Ali from a near-certain defeat in a fight against Henry Cooper. On June 18, 1963, when Ali still was known as Cassius Clay, Dundee noticed a tear in one of Clay’s gloves before the fight in London. Rather than say anything, Dundee filed away the information for future use. Clay was one win away from challenging Sonny Liston for the heavyweight title when Cooper decked him with a devastating hook near the end of the fourth round. Clay arose but was in bad shape and needed time to recover. That’s when Dundee, who died Wednesday in his Florida home at 90, used the information he had gleaned earlier. It was only after the fourth round, when a woozy Clay needed a longer break than the 60 seconds he’d get, that Dundee brought to the attention of referee Tommy Little the tear in Clay’s glove. Little immediately called time and ordered that Clay be given a new glove. The respite was all Clay needed to regain his bearings, and in the next round he stopped Cooper, continuing his march toward the heavyweight title and the ultimate showdown with Frazier. The bout with Frazier, which forever became known as “The Fight of the Century,” might still have occurred, but it wouldn’t have pitted two undefeated champions and thus would never have become as massive a sporting event as it did without Dundee’s quick thinking at the end of the fourth round of the Cooper fight in 1963. “As a trainer, Angelo was OK; he was good, but not great,” said promoter Bob Arum, a close friend of Dundee’s for five decades. “But as a cornerman, he was great. There was never anybody nearly as good as he was in the corner. He’d pick up things during the round, he communicated very well with his fighter in between rounds, and nobody, and I mean nobody, ever could motivate a fighter during a fight as well as Angie.” Dundee was instrumental in wins for many of the sport’s top stars, including Ali, Sugar Ray Leonard and George Foreman. In 1981, it was Dundee’s now-famous line, “You’re blowing it, son. You’re blowing it!” which helped motivate Leonard to rally and knock out Thomas Hearns in the 14th round of their mega-fight at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. In Leonard’s autobiography, “Sugar Ray Leonard: The Big Fight,” he credited Dundee’s exhortations for helping him to win the bout, writing: “The way Angelo said it was as important as what he said, with the perfect mixture of urgency, encouragement and affection. Angelo was no Knute Rockne, but, with the exception of the Dick Ecklund fight (see “The Fighter”), he knew precisely how to get through to me at the most pivotal moments, and no moment in the fight, or in my career, was more pivotal than this.” Dundee wrote about the same incident in his book, “My View from the Corner,” and though he said, “It wasn’t a battle cry that would wake the echoes,” he, too, believed his encouragement played a role in Leonard’s turnaround. “It didn’t take a brain surgeon to see that the moment had gotten away from us, that there were no more Sundays, no more tomorrows, and no title at the end of the road,” he wrote. “Something had to be done. Now, there are certain rules for trainers in corners: There’s no time for hand-wringing; and no time to get preachy. You’ve got to give your fighter stripped-to-the-bone advice, just as Manny Seamon had given Joe Louis in the second Jersey Joe Walcott fight when he told him simply, ‘You’ve got to knock him out,’ and Louis, heeding his advice, did.” In total, Dundee trained FIFTEEN World Champion boxers in his career including obviously some of the all-time greats. He was elected into the Boxing Hall of Fame long ago but his legacy will hopefully live on now that boxing has kind of hit a really sad time in the sport (seriously, I don’t know what’s going on with Mayweather-Pacquaio but if the biggest event POSSIBLE is to put two little dudes in a ring & let them duke it out… or dance around in a way that’ll never live up to all the hype… then that’s bad).

Such a horrible way to start off the month with news like that… and if I were in Pennsylvania, I’d keep an eye out on Puxatawny Phil tomorrow for Groundhog Day. You never know, he may have a heart attack seeing his shadow… and then what? Winter would never end? Kind of a reverse global warming? “Oh $teve, you crazy! That’d never happen.” Really? Then how do you explain this?

Manneken Pis Update - The Manneken-Pis, a bronze statue of a young boy urinating that is a symbol of Brussels and a major tourist attraction, has had to stop peeing because of sub-zero temperatures, Belgium's tourist office said on Wednesday. Officials turned off the flow of water through the statue, which has stood on a Brussels corner since the 1600s, out of concern the cold might damage its internal mechanism (bladder). Temperatures in the Belgian capital were set to fall to minus 10 Celsius (14 degrees Fahrenheit) Wednesday night, far below the average minimum for February. "It all depends on the weather, if the temperatures go up again it will work again," a tourist office spokeswoman said. The statue, which is on the site of a 15th Century drinking fountain, has more than 800 specially made outfits which city officials use to dress it up during the year. It is one of Brussels' most popular attractions… because we are all weirdos. It makes perfect sense though… because if it’s too chilly outside to whip it out, even for a few moments to relieve one’s self… then it should be turned off… and I don’t anticipate too many people are going to be particularly offended if there’s not a lemon flavored piss-sicle off the statue in the heart of winter. I’m just always looking for an excuse to mention obscure things that people find fascinating for really no reason other than… it’s a statue of a boy pissing… that people dress up throughout the year. It’s not exactly as quirky as say… having your national symbol be a tower with a horrible foundation surrounded by pickpocket gypsy hordes like Italy & the leaning tower of Pisa. Don’t get too high & mighty America! Two of the great symbols of Freedom, Independence, Hope & most of all LIBERTY in our country… are a bell that we cracked, tried to fix & cracked again… and a gift statue of a lady in a toga that was made & designed in France… and they’ve got one just like it in Paris. Just a little food for thought…

Spanish Lotto Story – Back in December, the tiny Spanish village of Sodeto collectively won a major stake in the annual $950 million Spanish national lottery. Today, the village of farmers and construction workers is enjoying a minimum payout of $130,000 per resident. CHA-CHING!!! And yet for all of the new wealth making its way around Sodeto, one villager came away empty-handed (wah-waaaah…). Costis Mitsotakis, a Greek filmmaker who moved to the village for a woman (it’s always a woman’s fault), is the only resident of Sodeto who did not purchase a ticket. Mitsotakis says he is no longer with the woman and now lives in a barn he is restoring just outside the village. Mr. Mitsotakis said it would have been nice to win. But he has benefited nonetheless. He had been trying to sell some land without much success. The day after the lottery a neighbor called to say he would buy it. The next day another neighbor called. But Mr. Mitsotakis refused to get into a bidding war. "This is a small village," he said. "You don't want bad feelings." Spain's national lottery, known as "El Gordo" (the fat one), was first established in 1812 and operates somewhat differently than most American lotteries. For example, this year there were 1,800 first-prize winning tickets, each with the same winning number of 58268. Each winning ticket was awarded a cash-prize equaling $520,000. But since each ticket costs $26, Spain allows them to be divided into as many as six "participations." As for the other residents, they've found that with the newfound wealth comes distractions and fortune seekers. The village has reportedly been bombarded with sales representatives of all forms, each trying to cash in on the nearly $150 million infusion of wealth. More from the New York Times: “On a recent morning, the vendors just kept showing up: bankers in suits offering high interest rates, car salesmen talking up BMWs and furniture dealers going door to door. Like many other local farmers, José Manuel Penella Cambra, who had recently invested in more efficient irrigation techniques, worried about how he would meet his payments. But his wife bought two tickets, worth $260,000, and his son found two more she had bought earlier and had forgotten about, bringing the total to $520,000. "I kept saying: look for some more, look for some more," he joked in the village cafe, a shabby establishment with a few Formica tables and a ripped black leatherette sofa.” Of course, in a town where everyone is rich, who serves the wealthy? As Mayor Rosa Pons notes, "Some of the ladies talked about going to the hairdresser. But the hairdresser won, too. And she said, 'I'm not working today.' So that ended that." Ah the inconveniences of having too much money… what a shame it must be. How’s that for a nice little tale? Some hardworking farmers & construction workers finally get a nice chunk of change to hopefully set themselves for life & not have to worry about The Man taking their homes & livelihood. Kind of sad that the mere working hard doesn’t take care of that for everybody but… hey, that’s the Game.

What would you do with $130,000 that just popped up overnight? I’m curious, please leave me a little note.

By the way, let me ask y’all another quick question if I might. Well, you know, really a series of questions. Let’s say that you had a dream job as a kid. I’m sure it differs from firefighter to archeologist to princess to whatever… but let’s just say it’s a pretty average job like… an engineer. You’re good at math as a kid… like real good… and you REALLY enjoy doing it. You study hard, you do all kinds of extra projects, join the various school teams to compete against others that are also into engineering. You approach your senior year of high school… and you have an important decision to make about where to go for college. There are even places like MIT, Harvard, all the big names coming out and actively recruiting you based on your performance in the competitions & offering you scholarships and full access to their facilities to further your studies. Then again… there are also companies telling you that college would be a waste of time because you’ve already read all the books that they’re going to be teaching from & you’ve already got your own theses & experiments going & idea ready to go. Plus… they’re going to offer you a starting wage of $350,000 a year because they feel that you’re already in the top percentile of engineers. You’re working part time at a grocery store to get gas money to go to all your classes and have a little fun on the weekends… and within a month’s time, you’d be making six digits a year for something that you love to do… and they’re going to be teaching you along the way too, with their state of the art facilities. You’d take that mutha f**king job in a heartbeat, right?

No? You still want to go to a university for the “college experience” with your peers? By the way, the “college experience” regularly involves stuff like dropping out, barely making ends meet, unexpected pregnancy, STDs, drug addiction, alcohol addiction, sex addiction (if that’s a real thing), and then after four years… you can hope that you didn’t f**k things up along the way… but let’s say for the sake of the example, you didn’t succumb to any of that… you’ll get a similar offer for that six digit salary you passed on years earlier… or maybe something along the lines of $500,000 a year. Do you take it now? Of course you do, right? You’re in the real world.

Add this other twist four years earlier: Let’s say that instead of $350,000 a year right out of high school graduation… they offered you $1,000,000 a year. Would you take the job then? Of course you would. You’d be a Goddamn fool not to, right? How about if you had no say where you’d be working from other than it would be in one of their offices in the United States (and one in Canada)? Would you take the job then? Absolutely! Even Detroit has gated communities that would welcome you with open arms with an annual salary of seven digits. Okay… do you see the point that I’m getting around to? If not, let’s say instead of being an engineer… you play basketball… or football… or some other sport. Do you still think those teenage kids who jump straight from high school to the pros are foolish? Then perhaps you’re being a little foolish. Oh… and the $350,000 a year, I think that’s still the minimum salary for a 15th player on the bench in the NBA but that was a few years ago so it may be more… and the average salary isn’t $1 million, it’s more around $5-6 million per year… or basically over a hundred times what I make in a year & I’m doing pretty good, I think. The point is… Don’t hate the Playa, hate the Game.

Anyway, that’ll probably do it for tonight. Excited for the forthcoming Super Bowl Party!!! The game shouldn’t be too bad either, but we shall see. Kinda want both of them to lose… but I’d rather go for the Patriots than the Giants. Sorry Jersey!!! Have a great weekend!!!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Happy Birthday Baby Brother!!!

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

T-minus two days until Vegas!!! Not that I'm super excited or anything...but it has been six months...and that's a looooong time to be without Vegas. Also, several other trips in the possible works...including checking out my future possible home Lake Tahoe in September, maybe New Orleans for Halloween, maybe New York some time...and of course, LA for the convention is still a possibility in November, so it maybe be a busy time...or maybe my financial situation will remain pretty horrible & I'll have to pick and choose...but we'll see. I'm saving pennies on my own and taking others from homeless people so something's gotta give. Other than that, there's an interesting job opportunity that presented itself here in Slick City...but ties into Lake Tahoe...but I'll elaborate more on that when I know the details. Also, do you live in Slick City & are looking for a great job? I can hook ya up...but time is of the essence so contact me as soon as possible. Now here's the news...

Expensive Smokes - A New Hampshire man says he swiped his debit card at a gas station to buy a pack of cigarettes and was charged over 23 quadrillion dollars. Josh Muszynski (Moo-SIN'-ski) checked his account online a few hours later and saw the 17-digit number — a stunning $23,148,855,308,184,500. Muszynski says he spent two hours on the phone with Bank of America trying to sort out the string of numbers and the obvious $15 overdraft fee. The bank corrected the error the next day. Bank of America tells WMUR-TV only the card issuer, Visa, could answer questions. Visa, in turn, referred questions to the bank. Thus the cycle is complete. I know that taxes on cigarettes are getting higher every day...but this is just ridiculous. That's more than a million billion dollars PER cigarette. However, if we can get this thing to go worldwide...perhaps America can find its way out of trade deficit with our fine tobacco products. Maybe we should focus on the French...or the Chinese. I'll talk to my buddy Barack about this.

France Update - Faced with a fall in tourist numbers due to the financial crisis and a reputation for unfriendliness (hopefully partly by my blog), the Paris tourist board has made a simple request of the city's residents: Smile. Visitors to Paris, the world's most visited city, have fallen 17% since January compared with the same period in 2008, official figures show. To counter the slump and boost revenues, the tourist board has set up stands manned by teams of "smile ambassadors" to welcome holiday-makers at the city's most popular spots. As if to heed its call, hundreds of roller-skaters formed a giant smile in Place Vendome in the city center on Sunday. "We have to work on striking and simple images. There's nothing as telling as a smile," said Paul Roll, who heads the tourist board. In May, a questionnaire carried out by travel site TripAdvisor found Paris to be the most over-rated city in Europe (the world probably), citing its high prices and unpleasant residents. Daniel Fasquelle, founder of a tourism association, said that French from all walks of life needed to play their part. "If we want tourism, which has generated more than two million jobs, to remain a major economic sector, everyone has to get behind it - professionals, elected representatives, and French people. It's the American tourist lost in Paris that we inform politely, it's the English person looking for the way in northern France who we don't get impatient with by honking our car horns." Paris is doing more than trying to make its residents smile to draw in more visitors. It is now possible to enjoy a virtual visit of the Champs-Elysees, the so-called "most beautiful avenue in the world," on the website www.ChampsElysees.org. Plans for a string of new luxury hotels are also in the pipeline, and Secretary of State for Tourism, Herve Novelli, is counting on a cut in VAT in the restaurant industry, which came into force on July 1st to boost tourism. Tourism's down really all over the board...but it's good to see France trying to overcome it by...well, not being so damn cranky. It's not our fault everything over there is overpriced and smells funny...especially the food. It's not our fault you keep losing all the wars. Don't take it out on us. You may think we talk funny...but we think the same of you. It's okay. ("Hamburger" "Ambugaaah" "No, hamburger") Can't we all just get along and enjoy the beautiful sights that we all have to share. Also, not to brag or anything...but we already have some of your finer things right here in the United States, like french fried potaters, the works of Luc Besson, Jean Reno, a bunch of your best models...and this chick. You can keep your Invalides and your Louvre. Seriously, your biggest attraction...is a f**king radio tower. The Mona Lisa's a crappy painting anyway. I have absolutely no idea why it's so revered. Somebody please explain this to me. It's a portrait of a grumpy chick. Not even a hot grumpy chick like you see in magazines. On that note, here are some pictures from my trips to France last year...and again back in the last millennium. Please enjoy...
Fountainbleau
"Are those dogs pissing?"
The Village of Giverny - Like in all those Monet paintings
Those one's almost in Monet-vision
Versailles
Paris on the 4th of July, 1999
I'm the tall guy with the umbrella & fannie pack
Ladies, I obviously just get sexier with age...
so come and get it while the price is cheap
Countdown to the millennium
French cuisine
Escargots tastes like rubber dipped in garlic
Invalides & Napoleon's Tomb
Le Cathedral de Notre Dame
Princess Di Memorial
Really wish I had a better camera this entire trip
Sunset on the River Seine

Swiss Fish Monster Killed - Police divers have ended the reign of terror of a huge fish that was attacking swimmers in a Swiss lake. The zander, which was 70 centimeters (about two feet) long and weighed eight kilos (17.5 pounds) was harpooned on Sunday after it bit six swimmers over the weekend, fish warden Fabio Croci told local media. Two swimmers were treated in hospital for bite wounds up to 10 centimeters (four inches) long after being attacked on Lac Majeur, which borders Italy, he added. Police divers at first tried to capture the carnivorous fish with a net, but when this failed they pursued the zander with a harpoon and managed to kill it. The meat from the captured fish was served up to tourists at the lake (at a nominal fee, I'm sure). "It is quite unusual for zanders to bite humans", Croci said, adding he suspected the fish was suffering from a hormonal imbalance (Guppy-MS?) which could be responsible for its aggression. So allow me just to reiterate this story, the way that I read it. Okay, so there was this lake in the Swiss Alps...and people were swimming in it...and a fish, granted a fairly large fish, nibbled on a few of them. Two of them bad enough to require a Band-Aid and some antibiotic. So trying to remain neutral, the Swiss fishermen tried to catch it in a net and...I would like to think put it in a non-swimming lake...but no such place exist, so they were probably just going to kill it after suffocating it with oxygen while netting it...and then, so as not to let it go to waste, eat it or sell it for a handsome profit. After all it's 17 pounds of fish with some fight in it...which must taste delicious. Instead they were unable to "humanely maintain" the fish...so they harpooned it, gutted it and served it as le Speciale du Jour. Their explanation why: It was on the rag and had to be put down one way or the other. Ladies, keep this response in mind the next time that you start yelling at us because we're trying to help you out around the house when you're having a heavy flow day. Just something to keep in mind is all. It probably won't happen...but a precedent has been set. By the way, we still love ya, ladies. I'm just playing with ya. I just think it's hilarious that they killed & filleted a fish for nibbling on some tourists. I guess the Swiss are trying to help tourism now too. I can see this phenomenon spreading worldwide...and just imagine the possibilities. Let's say you want to go to...Africa. Oh yeah. Let's say...you were startled in the evening on safari by the roar of a lion. This precedent would imply...the next morning, you and a few of your guides would go deep into the Serengeti...and get you a souvenir lion hide...and eat like KINGS!!! Let's say you go to Australia and...for example, a dingo wakes your baby (not eats...wakes) then you're entitled to some dingo...at a nominal fee. I like it. I'll keep you posted.

Well, that'll do it for my little jaunt today. Big day with regards to my job future...but I don't want to get ahead of myself just yet. Also, I'd like to wish a very happy birthday to my little brother Kiel. He's a good dude. A little nerdy. Very arrogant. A big pain in the ass. Sometimes I just don't understand the decision he makes. Like EVER!!! That being said, he's a great father...and more importantly, he's my brother...and I love the little b**ch.
Yes, at one time, I did sleep with my brother
Check out this cake!!!
Ah, the young family...
with the father apparently in witness protection
I ALWAYS looked fly in any suit
Chuck, Grandma Love, my brother & me
"Honey, just run over the pedestrians. Don't slow down."
Happy birthday bro!!! Have a great day everybody!!!

Friday, August 15, 2008

Mein Hut, er hat drei Ecken

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

First off, allow me to apologize for the negativity over the past few entries. I rambled on about my aunt…and I love her and all…and she even made me some delicious peppermint patty brownies to show her appreciation for helping her out with her trip to Anaheim & San Diego in November…but she does just get on my nerves pretty easily, which normally is kind of difficult. Also, I'd like to apologize for my sexually frustrated ramble last night about things that I miss. Apparently Lilie thinks that I should write romance novels or something because she got chills a little…as I hope that most of you out there did too. I did end up cutting out most of what I wrote though (that "time passes" portion and a few others) because it was PG-13 per se…but it was innuendo…and I like to be a little mysterious about my tactics. What? Why are you laughing? Is it because I said I like to be mysterious and I basically bare all on this blog? Well, you may be right…but still.


I watched a little of the Olympics last night, including Michael Phelps getting Gold #6 and Nastia Liukin (beautiful eyes, by the way) winning the women's gymnastics all-around gold medal. Tonight after work, I'm actually going to hang out with my mom and her family at my aunt's house (another one that I actually like, I have over twenty aunts) for an Olympic party, so there'll be plenty of drunken good times with my hillbilly kinfolk. It'll be great. Other than that, I might have a blind date…but I'm not exactly holding my breath or anything…because stuff always seems to come up…and I think I'm going to try a whole reverse psychology approach to it and see if that works…or works against, I guess it would be. Anyway, tragedy tomorrow, comedy tonight…as they say. Here's the news...


Bulletproof Bras - Thousands of German policewomen will receive what media have labeled "bullet-proof bras." Made of white cotton and featuring the word "Polizei" (Police...but sexier because it's foreign) along the seam, the bras are meant to better protect police women who wear bullet-proof vests. A spokesperson in Hanover said, "There was a slight safety risk for women wearing normal bras with metal parts underneath a bullet-proof vest. If the vest is hit by a projectile, this can have an impact on the metal bit in the bra underneath and cause injuries (and policemen are in the sometimes awkward position of "kissing it better")." Some 3,000 police women working for Germany's federal police will be equipped with the new bras which feature no metal parts and look like sports bras.


You know, maybe I need to move to Germany. No really, I was thinking about this yesterday at the training too. See, I used to speak fluent German but it's been the better part of a decade since I've used ANY other than immediately after somebody sneezes…or singing Schnitzelbank, just because I can. One of the speakers yesterday mentioned that when he was being interviewed for a job in Berlin, they basically took them to the bar, had a few beers, and had the interview there…and this was for a six-digit Euro job. I love the food, the beer, the culture, the curvy girls, and it'd be a new experience to say the least. There was a time that I really thought about moving to Salzburg, Austria and maybe playing some pro basketball for chump change (by NBA standards at the time…but with the current exchange rate…) and living in the land of the Sound of Music, meeting some Swiss Miss (or perhaps a Fritalian, it's a central location in Europe) and just traveling Europe with the team and documenting my adventures for future memoirs that only I would be interested in reading. Somehow that didn't happen (at all). Now that I know that the German economy is great, the food keeps getting better, and even the needs of the supple breasts of their law enforcement agents are being met, I don't know. Maybe I need a work visa or something to go over there. My company was locations there. I could even drive a Beemer…or a Benz…or a Bicycle…and be just like everybody else. Honestly though, in Salzburg, I could do the bicycle thing…maybe even in winter. It's a small mountain town. Anyway, just a thought that I had…and then I see something like this...


German Gelato Tragedy - Four people were killed in a shooting at an Italian gelato shop in western Germany on Tuesday. Shots rang out around 8 p.m., with one man killed outside the Eis de Rocco cafe in downtown Ruesselheim, near Frankfurt. A man and a woman were killed inside the cafe, and a fourth victim died of his wounds on the way to the hospital. Officers mobilized a manhunt after the shooter fled the scene of the attack in the town's pedestrian district near the main train station. Police blocked off the center of Ruesselheim and were searching for the shooter with the aid of dogs and helicopters. I guess even Germany isn't a paradise, right? I mean…I like my gelato but the article also talks about another incident a year ago at a gelato stand involving an organized crime syndicate (the Mafia?). Another good thing about being in Germany is that I could take a train on the weekends to somewhere else cool in Europe.


Roman Holiday - With the ruins of ancient Rome, the splendor of Vatican City, gelato and countless Renaissance art treasures, what does Italy's capital lack to attract tourists? The answer, according to the mayor's office, is a Disneyland-style theme park. "The model is Euro-Disney in Paris," said Deputy Mayor Mauro Cutrufo, announcing plans to build a vast ancient Rome theme park just outside the city which he says could be up and running within three to four years. The park would provide family-friendly attractions to show visitors what life was like in the Rome of 2,000 years ago. To be built on an as yet unspecified 1,000-1,200 acre site, it would put a Roman twist on rides like Disneyland's Pirates of the Caribbean, in which visitors float on boats through a fantasy pirate world. "You would relive scenes from the Colosseum, from ancient Rome, gladiators or maybe Julius Caesar or other things." (Orgies?) A decision on whether to go ahead with the park could be made as early as next month after market research has shown potential demand for the plan. Now, I don't mean to ruin their parade or anything…but is Euro Disney still around? Is it still the only thing that Disney has done that DIDN'T make a scatload of money? The New Coke of theme parks, if you will? Having been to Rome twice (thanks to the legend of the Fountain of Trevi…and awaiting a third time), I can tell you that one of the major draws of the city…is that it does NOT have a family-friendly theme park. You would think that an incredible culture spreading over thousands of years, ruins of the quintessential ancient civilization, the world's largest church, the foremost collection of arts from all of the over the world from the Sistine Chapel to Egyptian obelisks to Monica Bellucci, some of the finest cuisine in the world, some of the most beautiful people in the world with among the world's sexiest accents, and literally history stacked on history stacked on history beneath their sewer lines that people would just want to visit Rome for being Rome. I mean, it wasn't built in a day…or in even three to four years…and frankly, do we really need another Disneyland? Not in Italy. Oh well, that's why it's their decision (like when they elected a porn star). Do yourself a favor and visit Rome if you ever get the chance. Or if you can't afford it, visit it through my eyes.


Norwegian Knights - Nils Olav already has medals for good conduct and long service. He made honorary colonel-in-chief of the elite Norwegian King's Guard in 2005. And on Friday he was knighted. Not bad for a 3-foot tall penguin — actually, three of them. A resident of Edinburgh Zoo in Scotland, the original Nils Olav was made an honorary member of the King's Guard in 1972 after being picked out as the guard's mascot by lieutenant Nils Egelien. The guards adopted him because they often toured the zoo during their visits to the Edinburgh Military Tattoo, an annual military music festival, according to zoo spokeswoman Maxine Finlay. The king penguin was named after Egelien and Norway's then-King Olav V. When the penguin died, he was replaced by a second penguin, who inherited Nils Olav's name and rank. The current Nils Olav, the third penguin to serve as the guards' mascot, was promoted from honorable regimental sergeant major to honorary colonel-in-chief in 2005. The knighthood ceremony began Friday morning with speeches and a fanfare before Nils arrived, under escort with the King's Guard Color Detachment. Nils then reviewed the troops lined up outside the penguin enclosure at the zoo, waddling down the row of uniformed soldiers, occasionally stopping to crane his neck and peer inquisitively at their crisp uniforms before being guided forward by his handler. Nils was then knighted by British Maj. Gen. Euan Loudon on behalf of Norway's King Harald V. Loudon dropped the king's sword on both sides of Nils's black-and-white frame, and the penguin's colonel-in-chief badge, tied to his flipper, was swapped for one symbolizing his knighthood. "He'll be a "sir" now," Finlay said. That's right, ladies & gentlemen. A penguin has been knighted. There is hope for us all.

Anyway, that'll do it for today. Thanks for a quick run across Europe with my random thoughts. It's always nice to have company. Have a great day and cheer on the USA!!!

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