This Time, It's Personal

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

My mom will be coming to visit me in a few weeks!!! She will also be bringing my Aunt Pat… so there’s the catch… but I’m still super excited about her coming to visit and see how her boy is living. No idea what we’re going to do while she’s here… but I’m sure it’ll be amazing. Maybe we’ll even do a trip to Wine Country or I’d even be okay with her shopping a bit… but luckily she’s not into that much. YAY!!! She’s finally coming to visit!!! Now I just have to figure out when / if I’m going to visit Utah. Anyway, here’s the news…

Stupid Baby Name Update – For a few years now, I’ve strived to put the word out on stupid baby names… for a multitude of reasons. First being that I myself have come up with some REALLY stupid baby names… but only because I’m never going to be able to name my own offspring. Hell, I’ll be lucky to have a say in the matter. Second reason being that it just amazes me sometimes what goes through parents’ minds when they start their legacy in this manner. Today’s example takes us to the Middle East, where inspired by Facebook, a couple in central Israel have named their baby daughter "Like." And no, she’s not… like… a valley girl either. "It's short and sweet," Vardit Adler, Like's mother, told Reuters Tuesday. "It's very important to me and to my husband that the names we give our children are unique, creative and totally new," she said. Six-day-old Like has two older sisters, 10-year-old Dvash, Hebrew for honey, and five-year-old Pie, "as in apple pie," Adler said. DAMN!!! I was going to guess the constant integer of the circumference of a circle divided by the diameter of the same circle. So close! Then again, that would’ve been Pi… or a really cool symbol… like the artist formerly known as Prince… or the lead singer of ? & the Mysterians. Oh yeah, back to the Adlers. "I'm not worried about other children teasing Like. Dvash and Pie don't seem to mind their special names and nobody teases them," Adler said. Surprised by media attention her newborn daughter was getting in Israel, Adler noted that Like has already received hundreds of comments on her own Facebook page. Six days old… and she has a Facebook page. Well, I’ve come up with a pretty good name for my future daughter now… Dismiss.

Future German Careers – Speaking of children, how many of you have children going to college? Well, this next story probably won’t surprise you then… unless you’re completely naïve. A study from the Berlin Studies Center says that one in three university students in the German capital would consider sex work as a means to finance their education. The figure in Berlin, where prostitution is legal (WHAAAT???), was higher than students surveyed in Paris (29.2%) and in Kiev (18.5%), the three cities the report looked at. The study found some 4% of the 3,200 Berlin students surveyed (so about 130 total) said they had already done some form of sex work, which includes prostitution, erotic dancing and Internet shows. Yup. Those are just the ones that admitted to it too. The number of men who said they would consider sex work was about equal to the number of woman, the study found. The results surprised the study's authors, who said they undertook the study because student prostitution had been often reported but little was known about its relationship to education policy. "The main motivation of students to turn to prostitution were the financial incentives, namely the high hourly wages," Eva Blumenschein, one of the study's authors and a 26-year-old student at Berlin's Humboldt University, told Reuters. Blumenschein said recent educational reforms aimed at speeding up students' time at university may play a role in them seeking out sex work. "It's possible that because educational reforms have increased student workloads, they have less time to earn money," she said. "Coupled with higher student fees, in this instance, leads students into prostitution." Thirty percent of students working in the sex industry were in debt, the study found (which means 70% were NOT in debt, so what’s the point of that statement?). That is compared with 18% of students who said they would consider sex work who were in debt. Honestly, I’m surprised too. I expected the number to be WAY higher. Only a third? Really? I’m so used to getting f**ked by university bills that it’s only natural to move into the industry to pay those bills. Or as I prefer to call it, “Skees for degrees” patent pending. Besides, what about all those strippers who told me that they were only doing it to pay for their nursing degree? Do you mean to tell me that they were LYING? To ME? But they love me! They told me so. Ooh… now I get it.

Seven Psychopaths - "In Bruges" writer/director Martin McDonagh and star Colin Farrell are set to re-team for the black comedy "Seven Psychopaths" for Film4, Blueprint, HanWay and Annapurna reports Variety. Farrell will play a struggling screenwriter looking for inspiration who is drawn into the dog kidnapping schemes of his friends (Sam Rockwell and Christopher Walken). Things turn deadly when a gangster's (Mickey Rourke) dog goes missing. Like 'Bruges', McDonagh will both pen the script and direct. Graham Broadbent, Pete Czernin and Meghan Ellison will produce. Call me crazy (or the 5th psychopath listed), but I think this movie could be really good. All we need is John Malkovich to sign on… and maybe Willem Dafoe… and I think we’ll have just about all of the psychopaths on one movie. Christopher Walken? I’m laughing already… in a black comedy kind of way. You’ve got Mickey Rourke… basically playing himself… and will probably be using his own dog (remember “Once Upon a Time in Mexico”? That’s his Chihuahua). It could be pretty good. Keep an eye out.

Expendables 2 Update – Now, Sylvester Stallone has already come out & denied this internet rumor… saying that it’s fake… and a real one is forthcoming soon… but I don’t care. I’m going to share it with you anyway… because that’s what the internet is for… the spreading of rumors, pornography & b**ching about movies with the entire world. So without further ado… though it's still a some time off considering the casting and director have yet to be locked down, a piece of sales artwork for the sequel to Sylvester Stallone's "The Expendables" has gone online along with the first synopsis via Nu Image (or so you think). The film itself is scheduled to hit cinemas on August 17th 2012: "The Expendables are back… and this time it’s personal! After Tool (Mickey Rourke), the heart and soul of the Expendables, is brutally murdered on a mission, his comrades swear to avenge him. They’re not the only ones who want blood. Tool’s beautiful young and wild daughter Fiona embarks on her own revenge mission, complicating matters when she is captured and ransomed by a ruthless dictator plotting to destroy a resistance movement. Now Barney and the Expendables must risk everything to save her… and humanity." See? Totally sounds like it could work, right? Yeah, too bad it’s not… but I’m sure that Sly is already looking who will play Fiona in his redraft. My guess… Olivia Wilde… if he can sign her. You’re welcome, Sly. No need to thank me, just pay it forward… by finding a good part for me in the sequel. I could probably pass for Dolph Lundgren’s son (or grandson). Think about it…

Panda Update - Just one month before “Kung Fu Panda 2,” the sequel to the blockbuster animated hit from 2008, comes to China, a 5-year-old panda practiced his kung fu in a zoo in China’s central province of Hubei and killed his neighbor… a blue peacock. On the morning of May 2nd, Chen Jun, the zookeeper at Wuhan Zoo in Hubei, was cleaning the interior of the panda’s house when he heard piercing squeaks outside. Hope, a male panda, was dragging a peacock in his mouth, running fast in circles. When the poor blue peacock tried to escape Hope’s paws, the bear caught the bird again, bit off her tail and dragged her around inside the enclosure. Finally the panda decided to take a break, placed the peacock on his wooden play rack, and watched her die – just like cats play with their prey. Oh yes! I’ve been saying it for years. Pandas are bears… or at least really big raccoons… but they have claws & teeth and are wild creatures (allegedly). It’s about time they at least ripped apart a cocky poultry bastard just to watch it die. The Wuhan Zoo keeps the peacock enclosure next door to the panda house, with a ten-foot tall fence between the two. For the past three years, peacocks have been flying over the fence to their cuddly neighbors’ territory to hunt for worms and seeds. The zookeepers said sometimes the pandas would get excited and chase the birds for a little bit, but they had never seen one act like Hope or kill any birds… until now. CCTV footage later revealed just how energetic Hope was on that morning, chasing the peacock for quite a long time. The zookeeper also explained in an interview with China’s Central Television that a 5-year-old male panda is like a 20-year-old boy: at the peak of his powers, full of energy. Dear God! Keep your peacocks away from college campuses! Lord knows what could happen with these violent energetic urges, feathers that tickle like no other & an urge to use sex to pay their bills (or at least take their mind off them). Anyway, today’s public service announcements: Pandas – They’re f**king bears!!!

Pompeii Update – Well, I’m going to leave you with a story that takes me back to the days when I had personal goals & dreams. Oh yes, ladies & gentlemen, I’m talking about all the way into the last millennium… the 90’s. Do you remember the 90’s? It gave us great things like… slap bracelets? Grunge music & flannel? AIDS? Okay, we’ll just forget about the timeframe for a moment… but I’m gonna take you to 1999. My buddy Ryan & I are in AP English Literature class because… well, the girls were really cute & the teacher was really old so couldn’t hear us making smart ass remarks to one another while reading Shakespeare. Alas, one topic that we talked about a lot was making a movie about the events of Pompeii in 79 AD. It was a topic that we were both interested in… as we were both going to visit Pompeii a few months later on separate trips. We had great ideas. Basically it was going to be Gladiator before Gladiator was Gladiator… plus Volcano… but better… and yes, I realize that I’m saying better about a movie that won an Academy Award for Best Picture a few years later, thus my window was pretty much closed. Anyway, those were good days.

Nowadays, the team behind the upcoming "The Three Musketeers 3D" are re-assembling for a big-budget period movie about the destruction of the ancient Roman city of Pompeii says The Hollywood Reporter. Constantin Film is financing and producing, Summit will release the film States-side, and Paul W.S. Anderson (“Resident Evil”, “Death Race”, “Alien vs Predator” & Milla’s baby daddy) is set to direct the project set in late summer 79 AD. The story revolves around the slave of a shipping tycoon who dreams of the day he can buy his freedom and marry his master's daughter. The problem is she is promised to a corrupt Roman senator, while he's been sold to another owner. Then Mt. Vesuvius erupts with the slave trapped on a ship headed for Naples and he is determined to get back and rescue them despite the fire and ash engulfing the city. Anderson will shoot the project in Spring 2012 from a script by Lee Batchler and Janet Scott Batchler. Jeremy Bolt and Robert Kulzer will produce. So basically… Paul W S Anderson… is living my f**king life for me. Making millions of dollar making movies about video games that I enjoy while making sweet babymakin’ love to Milla Jovovich. I can’t really hate on him… but dammit. Well played sir. Apparently those middle initials stand for Wishing Steve. Well, I guess I’ll just have to wait for YOUR version of the movie to come out. Sad thing is… it’s REALLY similar to my version… except mine was a gladiator instead of a slave of a shipping tycoon, but I understand the change. Don’t want to seem like a copycat… but if I see my buddy Ryan on the producer credits… somebody’s going to get a talking to.

Anyway, that’ll do it for tonight. No real plans for this weekend, but I may be meeting up with Carmen or just enjoying the sunshine. Still REALLY excited about my mom coming to visit in a few weeks… but until then, just gotta make sure that I’m doing fun stuff for me. No more sitting at home & lazing away. Have a great weekend everybody!!!

Sexiest Man Alive Snub

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

So… this weekend is the one year anniversary of my moving out here to Lake Tahoe… and man, did it fly by? I’ve been kind of looking back and seeing how things have changed since then… as I often do. I love it out here. But is it home? Not yet. Obviously I miss all my family & friends… and I haven’t met a whole lot of people here… but hey, these things take time. Rome wasn’t built in a day, so why should Home be any different. I’ve seen many beautiful things and have had wonderful experiences in the past year… and luckily I’ve been able to share them with a lot of the people that I care about, even if just for little spurts. Anyway, maybe more on this a little later… but then again, maybe it’ll pass once my mom comes to visit for Thanksgiving next week. Who knows? My mind is kind of that way. Easily distracted at times, yet always going a hundred miles an hour at least.

Last night, I finally watched “Predators” starring Adrien Brody, Topher Grace, Laurence Fishburne and Danny Trejo. It starts off with people literally falling from the sky… reaching terminal velocity… and they have no idea where they are. They just wake up and their free falling with a parachute on them. They wake up and just before impact, the chute opens and they land. Where are they? A jungle somewhere… maybe the Amazon… or Afrika. They meet each other… and try to find out what’s going on. Last they remembered, they were in jail, in a war, operating, drinking at the bar, whatever… then there was a flash of light… and they woke up free falling. Well, as the previews kind of gave away, they were dropped into basically what is a gaming reserve for a race of aliens who pride themselves on their hunting skills… and they aren’t the only prey either. Oh… and the gaming reserve is on an alien planet… so now they have to find a way to get off the planet… and not be turned into a trophies by these supreme hunter aliens. Now, you know that I’m a big fan of the previous Predator movies… and this one is actually pretty damn good. Sure, there are a few cheesy lines, plot holes, predictable twists, etc. but for the most part, it’s great action, pretty good suspense, and I really enjoyed this movie. I highly recommend it to anybody who can stand giant blood splatters and the sight of a spinal cord and skull being ripped completely off a human in one swift motion… and don’t worry, it’s in the dark, so not as gory as you might think. It’s also from director Nimrod Antal (“Pathfinder”) so it’s pretty good for that genre.

Also, my roommate got home about half way through the movie, so I offered to fill him in on what was going on… and I basically gave him a spiel like I just gave you with the basic plot… and of course, trying to keep the mystery & mystique that the movie was going for. He basically looked at me and said, “Dude, you should make movies?” Now, I have never really told him about the past scripts and ideas that I’ve written down here and there or anything like that. “Why do you say that?” “Well, I know that you like movies… and you always tell me these stories about your past or just random stories about whatever when we’re watching TV and… I don’t know, you seem to really like them… and so I figured that you might like the idea of making them, you know?” He was a little drunk, I’m not going to lie… but still. “Well, maybe you’re right man. I had thought about it before… even wrote a few quick stories down.” “Yeah, I figured you might have. That’s cool man. Well hey, let’s watch this one and we’ll talk about this another time. I’m kinda tired right now.” So yeah… maybe that’s my calling or something… and I just haven’t done it. I have an odd interpretation of the world… a view askew if you will (shout out to Kevin Smith) but it’s not exactly easy to get into the movie business… and even then, it’s basically a circle jerk of ideas and your idea for a great film may get studio-ized into something that makes “Speed 2” look like “Citizen Kane”. So yeah… we’ll see how that all works out. The funny thing is… when I went to bed… I had another dream… that played out like a pretty interesting movie. Do you want to hear about it? No? Well, I’m gonna tell it anyway… but because it was a bit of a story, and it’s taking a while to type up, I’ll have to feature it tomorrow. I thought it was pretty interesting… so feel free to analyze my many issues… tomorrow…

Sexiest Man Alive - Can life get much better for Ryan Reynolds? After all, he's married to Scarlett Johansson (featured last week). Oh, apparently it can. People magazine has bestowed its "sexiest man alive" title on the 34-year-old actor. Reynolds is about to star on-screen as the Green Lantern. The Canadian native told People: "The sexiest thing about Canadians is that there's an inherent ability to be self-deprecating. That has served me well in my career and personal life." It's the 25th anniversary of People's first sexiest man — Mel Gibson (oh how times have changed). Others given the title include John F. Kennedy Jr., Harrison Ford and Richard Gere. George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp have won it twice. People announced its 2010 list on Wednesday… and in case you were wondering why I was yet again left off the list… it’s because I don’t have a good publicist. I am accepting applications for the position though. Seriously, Ryan Reynolds got a part for a character in “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” who doesn’t even speak… but they adapted it so that he (and Hugh Jackman) could spit out a couple bad one-liners. That’s what a good publicist can do for your career. Like a good Wingman… or a Chick-n-Wing. Anyway, congratulations Ryan… and I still remember “Two Guys, a Girl & a Pizza Place” glad that you could overcome it.

Flirting Study - There is a lot more to flirting than fun, according to a new research study that says finding success in romance depends in part on understanding your own personal "flirting style." Whether or not you prefer sidling up to a stranger in a bar or you'd rather sit back and wait for an object of attraction to approach are distinctions that once recognized can help people navigate the rocky seas of relationships, according to Jeffrey Hall, assistant professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas. Hall recently completed a study into styles of flirting among dating adults, surveying more than 5,100 people regarding their methods of communicating romantic interest. "Knowing something about the way you communicate attraction says something about challenges you might have had in your past dating life," Hall said. "Hopefully, this awareness can help people avoid those mistakes and succeed in courtship." Hall said there are essentially five styles of flirting: physical, traditional, polite, sincere and playful. In physical flirting, people express their sexual interest in a potential partner and, he says, often quickly can develop the relationships, have more sexual chemistry and have a greater emotional connection to their partners. Traditional flirts tend to believe that men should make the first moves, with women assuming more passive roles. Both sexes comfortable with this style seem to prefer more "intimate" dating scenes, he said. There are many people whose flirting styles fall into the category of "playful" and are aimed largely at enhancing their own self-esteem, Hall said. These people are less likely to have lasting and meaningful relationships, he added. "In some ways, the very early part of developing relationships is important to the success of long-term relationships, including marriages," he said. Hall co-authored the article with Steve Carter, senior director of research and product development at online dating site eHarmony.com; and other researchers. Interesting, right? Know what I found interesting? Did you notice that polite & sincere weren’t even mentioned or elaborated upon? Now… many of you who have witnessed me at work know that I’m all about the playful flirting with ladies… who let’s say are a little out of my age demographic… and that’s more for their self-esteem than mine (though it doesn’t hurt). Yet I wonder… does that seem to carry over into my sincere or traditional flirtation when I’m really looking to build a relationship? God knows I’ve steered away from Physical (except maybe dancing on the rare occasion while intoxicated) thanks to what seems like constant sexual harassment training… and I’m always polite… but yeah, I wonder if it’s my flirtation style that has led to my “cold streak” rather than geographical movement and… just plain sh*tty luck with dating… or partner selection. Who knows? I sure the f**k don’t… but gotta keep out there and trying, right? Maybe there’s more to this study… I’ll have to investigate and let you know. Who knows? Down the road… maybe I’ll pull one of these out on somebody…

Expensive Rock - A rare pink diamond fetched 45.44 million Swiss francs on Tuesday. Don’t worry, you know how conversion is… and it sounds like a lot of money, but that’s only about $45.75 million, which virtually doubled the previous record to become the most expensive stone ever sold at auction and underline the strength of the international jewelry market. The rectangular step-cut pink diamond, which weighs 24.78 carats and is about the size of a pinball (bling BLAUW!!!), was the star lot among nearly 500 on the block at Sotheby's semi-annual jewelry sales in Geneva. Top diamond dealer Laurence Graff, bidding by telephone, was the buyer of the diamond which is mounted in a platinum ring, the auction house said in a statement. "It is the most fabulous diamond I've seen in the history of my career and I'm delighted to have bought it," said Graff, a Briton who began his career as a teenager in London's East End and now resides in the Swiss resort of Gstaad. "It is a world record price for a jewel at auction," said David Bennett, chairman of Sotheby's jewelry department in Europe and the Middle East, as he brought down the hammer to applause in the packed sales room. "It's like pink champagne," he told Reuters before the sale. The stone, purchased from American jeweler Harry Winston 60 years ago by the anonymous owner who consigned it for auction in the Swiss city, had a pre-sale estimate of $27-38 million. Previously, the world's most expensive jewel sold at auction was the historic "Wittelsbach" blue diamond, a 17th century stone of 35.56 carats that fetched $24.3 million in December 2008 at rival Christie's. That was also purchased by Graff of Graff Diamonds, who later had it repolished, making it smaller at 31.06 carats, and renaming it the Wittelsbach-Graff Diamond. He is the controlling shareholder in the South African Diamond Corporation, a diamond wholesaler and manufacturer based in Johannesburg and a major shareholder in Gem Diamonds Ltd, according to his website. Gem Diamonds earlier this month said it had found a 185-carat rough white diamond at its Letseng mine in Lesotho. "Laurence Graff is a great connoisseur of gem stones. He certainly now owns two of the greatest stones in the world," Bennett told reporters on Tuesday night. "There were four active bidders for the diamond, which at that level is quite extraordinary," he added. "It tells you a lot about the health of the market." Bennett, noting that pure diamonds and vintage pieces by French jeweler Van Cleef & Arpels commanded high prices, said: "The market for fine gemstones and fine jewelry is as good as it has ever been, it is very, very strong." A pair of fancy blue diamond and diamond pendant ear clips by French jeweler Alexandre Reza soared to $1.79 million, tripling the low end of its pre-sale estimate. It went to a New York-based dealer, according to the auction house. The sale netted $105.05 million, a world record for a jewelry sale, exceeding the previous record of $68.5 million also set by Sotheby's in Geneva in 1993, its statement said. In all, 397 of the 487 lots on offer found new owners, for a sell through rate of nearly 82 percent by lot. Christie's holds its Geneva jewelry sale on Wednesday. Eric Valdieu, a former Christie's jewel expert in Geneva now of Valdieu Fine Arts, told Reuters as he left the Sotheby's sale: "The prices were stronger than in 2007-2008, that's why everyone has a smile on his face." "The reason is the bad performance of the stock market in the last year or two. Nobody knows what they are buying with stocks, but here they are buying something solid and tangible. The top quality jewels are even more expensive than they should be," the Frenchman added. So there’s some financial advice for you straight from Dr. Love. Don’t invest in stocks (fool me once, shame on you…) but rather, invest more than a hundred times what you’ll ever see in your lifetime even if you visit the U.S. mint in a rock about the size of a Cheerio. It makes perfect sense… because it’s hard and tangible. Look, the best investment you can make with regards to a diamond… is to give it to somebody that you love and want to spend the rest of your miserable life with. That’s the best advice that I can give you. Invest in who wears the diamond.

Priceless Rubble – As you know, I really like Pompeii. I’ve been there twice… and it was a dream of mine to write a movie about in high school with a buddy of mine in AP Literature (think “Last Days of Pompeii” meets “Gladiator” with “Avatar” style CGI for volcanoes). Unfortunately, the incredibly preserved ruins of Pompeii are falling to the elements now that they are exposed for the world to see. More buildings inside the ancient Roman city of Pompeii could collapse, Italy's culture minister said last week, a day after a 2,000-year-old house once used by gladiators disintegrated into rubble. The collapse at one of Italy's main tourist attractions was a source of embarrassment for the government and the country. President Giorgio Napolitano (you HAVE to say it with the accent) said it was a "disgrace for Italy" and demanded an explanation. Culture Minister Sandro Bondi, who went to Pompeii to survey the damage on Sunday, warned that other buildings could also fall, according to Italian news agencies. Given the number of buildings that need restoration, further damage is virtually "inevitable," said Daniela Leone, a spokeswoman for Pompeii's archaeological superintendence. "This is a vast area that requires maintenance, resources," she said. The house that collapsed on Saturday was used by gladiators to train before going to fight in a nearby amphitheater, as well as by other athletes. It was also a storehouse for weapons and armor. It was believed to have been built not long before Pompeii was destroyed in A.D. 79 by an eruption of Mount Vesuvius, which killed thousands of people and buried the city in 20 feet (six meters) of volcanic ash. The house was also partially destroyed during World War II, and the roof and some of the walls had been rebuilt. Bondi suggested that water infiltration following heavy rains and the heavy roof added during the postwar restoration were to blame. However, he said some frescoes on the lower parts of the walls may be saved, and urged more government funds for Pompeii. My solution – Make my movie with 10% of gross (not net) income going to the preservation of the city of Pompeii. What’s that Hollywood? Too much? Consider it this guy’s tithing towards a worthy cause. Oh, you need a script? Gimme the word and I’ll have a blockbuster storyboard by the end of the week… and don’t worry, I’ll explain the stick figures. I’m not that kind of an artist… besides you’ll just cast whoever you want in there anyway.

Anyway, that’ll do it for today. Tomorrow, maybe I’ll have that dream typed up for ya… because I thought it was kind of cool… and patent pending as I see a pretty good SyFy TV movie out of it at least… which is ironic given my roommates comments last night. Have a great night everybody!!!