The World's End Is Nigh

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

Saturday, Dizzy & I went to help her aunts set up a going away party for their son Jeff as he’s heading out to join the Air Force Special Ops team next week after their wedding. They rented out part of Kennedy Grove and the four of us set up a nice picnic area, barbecue, beverages, tables, etc for about 50-60 people since there were a hundred or so invited… and about 20 showed up… but that just meant that there were plenty of leftovers. The weather was perfect & we had a wonderful time hanging with friends & family in a wonderful setting. Later that night, we met up briefly with Jeff & some of his friends at Melodee’s for some quick karaoke… but they wanted to head out to other bars too, so we let the kids in their early twenties have time with their buddy. Don’t worry, we put the fear in them about having a designated driver… who drove a Lexus… so we knew that Jeff was getting home safe… because that car was getting home safe.

 

Sunday, we basically relaxed & started up our home brewing empire by researching and ordering the kits & books to get started. By the end of next weekend, we should be well on our way to crafting our first beers. Obviously we’re starting out with some of the simpler, pre-packaged recipes until we get our feet wet & get the process in play… but we’re REALLY excited about it. We kind of surprised each other the other day with “I bought a book!” “Me too! Which one did you get?” “This one!” “Me too! I’ll cancel the order for that one… but I got these other two, so don’t get those.” Yeah, I figure that by the time we finish our first batches (Irish Red Ale & Pumpkin Ale) that we’ll at least have read through the beginner book… and hopefully know that much more about home brewing… and then after a few batches, we can get all kinds of experi-mental up in this piece. Stay tuned!

 

Speaking of beer, Thursday we watched “The World’s End” starring Simon Pegg, Nick Frost & Martin Freeman… and directed by Edgar Wright (“Shaun of the Dead” & “Hot Fuzz”). This is the finale of The Cornetto Trilogy… and the story is about five high school friends who have gone their separate ways… but one of them named Gary King (Pegg) wants to reunite them on a mission to finish a 12-pub crawl in their hometown of Newtown Haven… culminating at the final stop, The World’s End. After a few stops, the old demons start to come out & the former friends remember why they kinda separated… until one of them gets into a scrum in the bathroom… and tears a kid apart to find out that he’s actually a robot. Then the previously-hilarious movie turns into an even more hilarious “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” homage with surprisingly great fight scenes paired with plenty of laughs & story direction. While we were watching it… we were pretty convinced that this may be one of the greatest action-comedies ever created. Think “Zombieland” with more drinking & English accents… if you like that idea… then you’ll LOVE this movie. I highly recommend it!!! Go watch it!!!

 

Also this weekend, we watched “The Cove” which is a documentary about conservationist Ric O’Barry & the Japanese city of Taijii… where there’s a major industry involving dolphins… but it’s not Sea World Japan. Back in the 60’s, Ric helped to introduce the world to dolphins when he was the chief animal trainer for the TV series “Flipper” and that led to an amazing BOOM in dolphinariums & sea parks… but obviously with serious side effects to the dolphins themselves and the environmental impact. Basically, since then he’s been on a mission to free as many dolphins as possible… and at the pinnacle of his mission is to expose the secretive area of Taijii known as “The Cove” where it’s suspected that thousands of dolphins are being slaughtered every year & sold for meat. So he & a group of fellow environmentalists set out to get evidence of this heavily guarded secret & bring it to the forefront of the IWC (Int’l Whaling Council) meetings to attempt to bring about change. It’s actually a very intriguing documentary (which is why I think it won an Academy Award a few years back) but another main thing that I pulled from it… is that apparently all of our seafood like sushi grade tuna… may have about 5000 times the legal amount of mercury at any given time… and given how mercury effects brain cells… I may not be eating high-level fish or seafood for quite some time now. I kinda like my brain. Regardless, I recommend that you see this documentary… but I warn you… it’s not going to be pretty… you’re going to see dolphins brutally murdered & it’s a Sarah McLachlan song away from being some of the saddest sh*t you’ll ever see… but it’s something that everybody probably should see if just to get word out & make some changes before it’s too late.

 

Speaking of Sarah McLachlan… we also watched some episodes of “Due South” while relaxing… and she sang a song on an episode that I thought a few lyrics that I caught were particularly creepy… and of course Dizzy loves the show & had the soundtrack… so she told me the story of how the lyrics of this song “Possession” were allegedly taken from some letters from stalkers… sorry, that’s harsh… let’s say, extremely devout fan letters… and turned into this love song. Here are the lyrics… and you can listen to it on YouTube or something:

 

 

 

Verse:   Listen as the wind blows from across the great divide
Voices trapped in yearning, memories trapped in time
The night is my companion, and solitude my guide
Would I spend forever here and not be satisfied?

 

Chorus: And I would be the one
to hold you down
kiss you so hard
I'll take your breath away
and after, I'd wipe away the tears
just close your eyes dear

Verse:   Through this world I've stumbled so many times betrayed
trying to find an honest word to find the truth enslaved
oh you speak to me in riddles and you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath
your words keep me alive

            (Chorus)

 

Verse:   Into this night I wander it's morning that I dread
another day of knowing of the path I fear to tread
oh into the sea of waking dreams I follow without pride
nothing stands between us here and I won't be denied

 

One last chorus for full creepiness… nice, right? Well, if the desired effect is a moistness in the loins then it may have the desired effect but I think it’s a different kind that was expected. Then again… there are a lot of love songs out there that when you really break down the lyrics… can be easily misconstrued as the ravings of a lovesick lunatic.

 

Anyway, that should do it for today. Have a great day everybody!!!

The Buried Life

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Such a fantastic weekend! Let’s start from the beginning, shall we? Friday, the work day was a busy one, like VERY busy, especially given the holiday weekend, and throw in that it was a short day… I was ready for a drink. So as advertised last time, I went to Harrington’s with some coworkers (all female, cuz that’s how I roll apparently) for a 3 PM happy hour… that lasted for a few bars on Polk Street as well… and I was pretty buzzed after about 7 hours… and it was barely dark outside. It was a great time getting to know my coworkers a bit… and it was kind of a birthday celebration for one of them. Around 11 though, I went home, drank some water, & was in bed by midnight. I rock hard!!!

Saturday morning, I woke up & decided to do some much needed music shopping at Best Buy. The mission was to get the new Jay-Z & Kanye West collaboration CD “Watch the Throne” (surprisingly mediocre, basically a lot of James Brown songs with a thicker bassline & a few lyrics but nothing groundbreaking) but I also stumbled upon some good $5 bin deals for greatest hits of both Journey AND Heart which I did not have in my collection (shocking, I know). Might I just say though… there’s an acoustic version of “Alone” on the Heart album, that basically brought a tear to my eye. Oh yes, I highly recommend that you add them to your fold. Oh… and I also got the new Richard Cheese CDs through the email too (“Live at the Royal Wedding” & “A Lounge Supreme”) and of course, they’re amazing.

After some grocery shopping, I got home & saw that my view from the backyard, which was overlooking a stank mudhole is no fast becoming an actual park. Allegedly with a baseball diamond & BMX track or something. That’s when I decided that I wanted to start fixingmy backyard up so that I could entertain back there… or at least not cringe at the thought of going through the sliding doors. I even went to far as to map it out & jot down a few ideas for when I asked the roommates if they wanted to chip in, since I’ll be DAMNED if I’m paying for everything. Little did I know how prophetic this would be later in the day… Anyway, my brother sent me a text wanting to play video games online, and I had nothing better to do so I played some “Golden Axe” (yes, old school Sega Genesis) with him, then went outside to chat with him where I could get a signal.

While out there, I got a call from my buddy Boz down the street & they were having an epic LAN Party BBQ, so I had found my entertainment for the night. It was amazing. I’m not much of a gamer like these guys… but this time, they had 4 screens & a full 16 players, a full barbecue with kegs, and they had actually fixed up their backyard similar to what I was plotting for earlier in the day. They had made a little garden area (we already have some calla lilies that nobody waters), placed woodchips on the ground and had a nice grill & patio furniture setup, complete with tiki torches to help light the area & a little grill / firepit in the middle for making s’mores. Totally awesome! Aside from all of that, the company was great, we got to beta test some new kick ass games that I believe will eventually be the ULTIMATE party game (but patent pending so… sorry) and it was just a great time all around… even if it was a bit of a sausage fest.

Sunday morning, I spent hanging out with Pixie & her friends, which is always a treat. We even briefly chatted about fixing the backyard… and she was totally down for it… but we’ll see when the budget numbers comes in. One of her friends is moving to Berlin (with her boyfriend) in a few days so she’s crashing at our place while moving things around. That’d be awesome to move to Germany I would think… but yeah, I’d hate to go solo. If I’m going to be a dumb American, I need someone to be dumb with. The best news of the day though… was that my dad is coming out to join me for the Utah – Cal football game at AT&T Park on October 22nd. It’s going to be amazing. Did I mention the 2nd row tickets? Because that’s kind of a big deal. It’ll be his first time out here since I moved in January but it’s really just for the weekend… so fly in Friday night, game Saturday, do something Saturday night, Sunday maybe watch football somewhere (possibly at my place with a newly fixed backyard setup), then I’ll more than likely have to work Monday because it’s just how it is, so he’ll have the day to himself to explore & then he’s flying out Monday night. Still, it’ll be great to see him… and the game will be amazing… even in rain. Knock on wood…

Sunday night was dinner at Carmen’s where we made our own pizzas… and that was a lot of fun… and again, I was the only guy rolling deep in women. We just had a great time catching up, planning the Vegas trip (they’re still tentative so I told them about the EPIC things that were going to happen… and the Grand Canyon is what sold ‘em the most), and just having a good relaxing time with good food & good peeps.

Monday was the day that I REALLY started looking into the backyard adjustments, like taking measurements and checking websites for some pricing & locations to get… well, everything. If I were in Utah, I’d be set because I have all the tools back there… but out here, I’ve got a pair of gloves & a few roadside tools. I also looked into getting TV again… because they have a lot of the promotions with the Sunday NFL Ticket with Direct TV… and rather than pay an incredible amount of money to get it on my PS3 (and still have to deal with slow internet) then I could get that (same price as first 8 months of TV) and the roommates would have it… and I could cancel Netflix… and we could share the financial load so it works out to $12-18 a person. We shall see. The first roommate I asked about it was more stuck on the cost of backyard fixing than TV that she wasn’t going to watch. Damn Hulu has made everything affordable anyway.

That night, I watched “I Love You Philip Morris” starring Jim Carrey & Ewan McGregor. Now, my brother had told me that this was a stupid movie… but he’s an incredible homophobe (imagine when he was visiting San Francisco a few weeks back). This true story is about a con man (Carrey) who goes to prison for fraud… but then finds the love of his life (McGregor). Basically it’s a twisted love story about two men in prison and how he’s willing to do anything to be with him including using his skills of manipulation & an ability to learn to do just about anything. It’s good old fashion Jim Carrey comedic timing too… so I highly recommend it if you can get the chance. Just for an example though, one of my favorite scenes… is when they’re dancing together & having a moment to their song… but in the background, the cops are yelling to turn the music off… and the other prisoners yell back… and so a whooping ensues… but they’re completely unphased. I liked it.

Tuesday was softball… and long story short, we dominated yet again (17-5) in a foggy game. I showed up a little late because of my schedule but went 1-1 with a single and a walk while playing right field. Good times. Not really much else to say about it other than next week is our big barbecue softball game, so that’s awesome!

Wednesday, I found a show that I thought was surprisingly good for being from MTV – “The Buried Life” which is basically about these four Canadian guys in their twenties, who drive around in a purple bus completing their bucket list of things that they want to do before they die. Also, as they cross one off for themselves, they ask strangers what they’d do… and help them along the way. It’s a great circle of Karma. I was sold when one of the episodes was “Ask out your dream girl” and of course… it was Megan Fox. I could be down for that. So at that point, they figure out how they’re going to get into a movie premiere to do the deed… and that’s half the fun. Anyway, after a few episodes, I was basically trying to figure out how I could feasibly do this… and the answers are pretty reassuring. It could be done. Not unlike my “Into the Wild” sensation that I get every once in a while where I sell all my earthly possessions and wander the Earth, there are sacrifices & risks… but there are also great rewards. I asked Jackie D about it… and she’s totally down (at least via text) so we’ll see if I can get a bus to roam the world in & a crew to help out with the list.

The epiphany that I had while watching this show… was I’m not entirely sure what my bucket list would look like. I mean… yes, there are things that I’d like to do before I die… but I don’t have an actual list. I should probably start making one… and checking them off periodically. Sigh… but where am I going to find the time & creativity to do such a thing? Well, I can always start. The journey starts with a single step… so here are a few things that I want to add to the list, in no particular order… and yes, I stole a few from various sources… but I still want to do them.

• Play Basketball in Front of a REAL Crowd


• Go “Office Space” on a computer


• Fly a Plane


• Sail a Boat


• Visit the Seven Continents (3 down, 4 to go)


• Fall in Love (sappy, I know)


• Have a Three-some… with two girls


• Get Married in Vegas


• Sky Dive


• Party at the Playboy Mansion


• Make a Toast at a Stranger’s Wedding


• Help Delivery a Baby (maybe my own)


• Design & Build a House


• Write a Children’s Book with my Brother Illustrating


• Get Someone Named After Me


• Kiss the Stanley Cup (I’m not even a hockey fan)


• Get a Noble Title (Sir, His Majesty, etc)


• Sleep in a Haunted House


• Make a Million Dollars


• BURNING MAAAAAN!!!


• Go to Space


• Buy something with a suitcase full of money


• Gold Bouillon also works
  
  

I don’t know, that’s a good start I guess. By the way, I checked out their list of 100 from the show… and I’ve already done 24 of them. Not a bad start there… but this is my list. Also, if ANY of you would like to share something that you’d like to do before you die, please leave a comment… and maybe we can figure it out. I’m already seeing a few of these that can be done in November in Vegas.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got going on right now. Just been about a week so I thought I’d catch up. Have basketball in a bit so… I’d better get ready for that. Have a great night everybody!!! What do you want to do before you die?

Man of the Year - Coming Soon

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Bubbles came to visit this past weekend… and we had an amazing time. Of course, Brutis enjoyed the woods, we enjoyed the casino scene & the music by the Monophonics (a funky band at a free concert at the Crystal Bay Casino), as well as my company’s 1st anniversary office party which included dinner, drinks & dancing. I don’t mean to brag but… I think we were the two sexiest individuals in the place… and there was a LOT of great competition for that distinction. I’d show you some pictures but… Bubbles made me promise not to. She has low self-esteem for some inconceivable reason (being a woman). So yeah… wonderful weekend was had… and we discussed working together again for the first time in three years… and my possible moving to San Francisco… as that was obviously a big topic on my mind… and after she left, I consulted my family & friends… and of course, a higher power (figured it couldn’t hurt). Is this the right move? Will it really be as amazing as I think it will be? Am I just bored? Am I being irrational? Why would I want to leave this place?

Well, the next day, apparently my prayers were answered as after a day that started with a torrential icy rain storm, then followed by snow, and then just more ice & snow… and then driving home in it… and sliding Gretchen into a snow bank even though I was only going about 10 MPH or less all the way home… and digging myself out with an ice scraper… luckily the only thing hurt was the front license plate and my pride… and helping two other cars along the way… and apparently on the drive home, I received a call from my possible future employer but because it took me an hour to get home, by the time I called them back, they had gone home for the day… and then more ice being there in the morning… I kinda took that as a sign. Also, throughout the past few days, apparently word was getting around that the job was mine… except they hadn’t called me yet to inform me… but I was getting calls from multiple sources asking me the details of when I was moving down. “Ugh… they haven’t talked to me yet so… I don’t know.” “Oh… well, that was the rumor so… have you looked into apartments & where you’d like to live yet?” Also, just so you know, my profession is not seamstress… yet it often seems that way with all the rumors in sewing circles that get back to me somehow. So yeah… all I needed was the phone call at this point… and to find out the details on the transition… and practice my surprised reaction, “WHAT? REALLY? Oh my God, that’s amazing, I had no idea…” I’m horrible at faking it…

So the call finally came today while I was at work... and it was the HR assistant basically saying that the Director was in a meeting but she wanted to get a hold of me and let me know... THAT I WAS OFFERED THE JOB!!! "WHAT? REALLY? Oh my God, that's amazing. I had no idea..." Again, horrible at faking surprise. She let me know that I would be getting a call later to discuss the details of the transfer / transition. So at that point, I basically started letting everybody know that I would be moving (yet again) but when and how was obviously still in question. Was I excited? Of course I was. I wouldn't have let it gone this far if I didn't think it was the right choice. Besides, not to sound cocky or anything, but I pretty much knew that the job was mine as soon as I applied for it. They simply were not going to find a more qualified, skilled, dependable or handsome applicant. Period. They're actually getting a pretty great deal... and I think their weather was a major influence... but as well as the office I'll be working with, the culture and sheer magnificence of the city.

As far as the details go though... that second call never came tonight... and last I heard was January 8th (just in time for the Kraft Bowl?) but that doesn't make a whole lot of sense given that it's really two weeks from now with the holidays thrown in... but hey, it'll get figured out in the next few weeks. So yeah... I'm going to San Francisco. What've you been up to? Here's some news...

Person of the Year – So… yet again, I’m snubbed for a major award… but this doesn’t hurt nearly as bad as the Sexiest Man Alive snub because… well, past winners of Time Magazine’s Person of the Year include Hitler, Bush & the Computer. This year though… it was Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg who has been named Time's "Person of the Year" for 2010, joining the ranks of winners that include heads of state and rock stars as the person the magazine believes most influenced events of the past year. At 26, Zuckerberg is the youngest "Person of the Year" since the first one chosen, Charles Lindbergh; he was 25 when he was named in 1927, Time said Wednesday. Zuckerberg beat out Britain's Queen Elizabeth II by just two weeks: She was 26 when she was named in 1952. Incidentally, Queen Elizabeth II has recently joined Zuckerberg's social networking behemoth. Time's "Person of the Year" is the person or thing that has most influenced the culture and the news during the past year for good or for ill. Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke received the honor last year. The 2008 winner was then-President-elect Barack Obama. The 2007 winner was Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin. Other previous winners have included Bono, President George W. Bush, and Amazon.com CEO and founder Jeff Bezos. In naming Zuckerberg, Time cited him "for changing how we all live our lives." In a posting on his Facebook page, Zuckerberg said that being named Time's "Person of the Year" was "a real honor and recognition of how our little team is building something that hundreds of millions of people want to use to make the world more open and connected. I'm happy to be a part of that." Zuckerberg has put himself on the map not only as one of the world's youngest billionaires, but also as a prominent newcomer to the world of philanthropy. Earlier this year, he pledged $100 million over five years to the Newark, N.J. school system. Now, he's in the company of media titans Carl Icahn, Barry Diller and others who have joined Giving Pledge, an effort led by Microsoft founder Bill Gates and investor Warren Buffett to commit the country's wealthiest people to step up their charitable donations. Zuckerberg owns about a quarter of Facebook's shares. Zuckerberg has built Facebook into an international phenomenon by stretching the lines of social convention and embracing a new and far more permeable definition of community. In this new world, users are able to construct a social network well beyond what would ever be possible face-to-face. "I'm trying to make the world a more open place," Zuckerberg says in the "bio" line of his own Facebook page. Born in Zuckerberg's Harvard dorm room, the site has in six years grown to more than 500 million users worldwide and a dollar worth in the billions. Facebook was the subject of director David Fincher and screenwriter Aaron Sorkin's film "The Social Network." It features a dark portrayal of Zuckerberg by Jesse Eisenberg, as well as the direction he's taking his company and his status as one of America's most influential figures. The film has been picked as the best of the year by the New York Film Critics Circle, the Los Angeles Film Critics Association and the National Board of Review. On Tuesday, it received six Golden Globe nominations, including best picture, drama, going up against its chief rival, the British monarchy tale "The King's Speech," which led with seven nominations. So yeah… welcome to the club… and hopefully I’ll be able to join you shortly… and not just in my imagination with my mirror…

Rock & Roll HOF Class of 2011 – National Treasure Neil Diamond had been eligible for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for several years… but for some reason has never got a nomination to join music's prestigious club. But he was never really worried about it. "I thought about it occasionally, but I kind of figured they'd get around to me at some point," he said in a phone interview. That point came on Tuesday, as the 2011 class for the Cleveland hall was revealed. Diamond, whose hits include "Sweet Caroline," (buh buh buuuuh) made the list, along with the Alice Cooper Band, New Orleans musician Dr. John, Darlene Love and singer-songwriter Tom Waits. Piano man Leon Russell was honored with a musical excellence award, previously the sideman category. Executives Jac Holzman and Art Rupe were given the Ahmet Ertegun Awards. It took three tries before Love, best known for hits such as "(Today I Met) The Boy I'm Gonna Marry" and her work with producer Phil Spector and the Blossoms, was approved for the hall. When reached on Tuesday, an enthusiastic Love said: "I can actually breathe." "Finally it's done," she added. "It still hasn't hit me yet. I still have that nervous stomach, and I'm still excited." The excitement will have to wait for some: Bon Jovi, nominated for the first time, was turned away from the hall, as was LL Cool J, the J. Geils Band, the Beastie Boys, Donna Summer and more. Alice Cooper's name had been mentioned in conjunction with the Rock Hall for years, but the shock rocker hadn't been nominated until this year. Like Diamond, Cooper said he wasn't anxiously waiting. "You know it crosses your mind, but then you think of all the guys who aren't in there, some of them before you, and you go, `Wow.' ... You realize that it's a waiting game," he said in a phone interview. "I don't think you sit around holding your breath on it." Cooper, a heavy metal rocker best known for his dark horror themes, said his band was responsible for bringing show business into rock `n' roll. "There was no spectacle in rock `n' roll, and I think what we did was we kind of brought theater to rock `n' roll," said Cooper, known for a goth look, heavy eyeliner and black shaggy hair. "It was sort of Cirque du Soleil before Cirque du Soleil. It was kind of a weird vaudeville that we did. But it all connected back to the lyrics. ... If we do a 10-hour rehearsal back then, nine hours was on the music, and one hour was on the theatrics." Diamond was on the other end of the spectrum, a singer-songwriter whose first hit came in the form of a song he wrote for the Monkees, "I'm a Believer." His early hits in the 1960s included "Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon" and "Cherry Cherry." "The music I was doing was not in vogue. ... I was like a lone voice out there with a guitar, and it was different than what was going on because it was the English invasion and I wasn't doing that," Diamond said. "I think I've had so many hits because what I was putting out and what I was writing was very different for what was being played on the radio." He's kept producing relevant material through the decades; he released his latest album this fall. Diamond said he was gratified to be in the hall and said his first choice to induct him would be a fan. Of his induction, he joked: "I'm glad they did it before I'm dead." Love said she thought two of her biggest boosters for the hall — Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band's Stevie Van Zandt — would likely do the honors at the March 14 induction ceremony in New York City. She was also happy for some of the other inductees, including Russell, who used to play on some of her sessions. "This is going to be a helluva jam session," she quipped about the upcoming festivities. The induction ceremony will be aired on Fuse. Congratulations, ladies & gentlemen!!!

So I guess that’s the latest update in the lives of great men (and my sister from another mother Darlene Love) over the past few days.Yeah, so… I guess I’m officially moving to the West Coast… cuz you and I know it’s the best coast… California Love… nine-five plus fo’ pennies… yeah, it should be an interesting few months while I get transitioned over there too. Boss Man K sounds really stressed out about it… but he’s supportive… it’s just I think he knows how valuable an employee I am (like they’ll have to get two with lots of previous experience to even come close to what I can do). Oh well… on to the next one… have a great day everybody!!!

Doctor Expendable

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

The weekend was pretty good. Beautiful weather, clear blue skies, and a Brew Jazz Funk festival in Squaw Valley to go check out. See, it was Jazz instead of Blues, which is even better for enjoying the truly schpedoinkal day. Another added bonus, it was an event to raise money for the local animal shelters & human society… so everybody wins… and every time that I was buying a beer, I could say with a straight face, “This is for my dawgs!!!” The music was great too. Anyway, here are some pictures…

Site of the 1960 Winter Olympics... then again...

This guy swept the skiing medals back then...

Washboard & wah wah guitars make me happy

After the sun started going down, I decided that I was going to see a movie in theatres, which I don’t do much, especially by myself (mostly because it’s a little lame). So what movie did I go see? Of course I went to see “The Expendables” starring Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Mickey Rourke, Steve Austin, the Governator, Bruce Willis, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, and a basically every action star from the past 30 years (except Steven Seagal because he was shooting “Machete” while being a Louisiana sheriff & Jean Claude Van Damme because… well, I’m not sure why). I’ve been keeping you updated on this movie for YEARS now… so I had to see it through, despite bad reviews. Seriously, if you’re expecting this to win Best Picture like Stallone’s first flick Rocky, you WILL be sorely disappointed. However, if you wanted to see a bunch of sh*t get blown, asses whipped, one-liners, gats & tats, motorcycles, waterboarding, REALLY cheesy dialogue, even cheesier monologue (sorry Mickey) and satisfying your once-a-decade Dolph Lundgren fix… then this is the movie for you. Oh yeah, the story. Almost forgot. Mercenaries, big time job, dictator on island in South America, CIA turncoat, hot daughter of dictator revolutionary, you know the drill. That being said, I thoroughly enjoyed it… and that’s because I know what to expect… and it delivered. I thoroughly recommend it if this is your kind of movie. If not, you weren’t going to see it anyway. Enjoy “Eat, Pray, Love” and those angsty vampire flicks. The important thing is… Expendables got the number one spot on the weekend box office… which means…

Expendables SEQUEL? - With "Salt" currently sitting on a little over $100 million domestic and with the international rollout kicking off shortly on the Angelina Jolie spy thriller, talk has inevitably turned toward a possible sequel considering the ending leaves things wide open (spoiler alert?). In fact according to The Los Angeles Times, everything is ready to go if the film is greenlit. The film's scribe Kurt Wimmer has ideas for how to advance the story, director Phil Noyce is said to be interested in returning, and star Angelina Jolie has previously said that she's keen to work on a sequel and in fact has a relatively free schedule coming up as Tim Burton's "Maleficent" and the Kay Scarpetta films are still some way off. The question now is simply one of money. Costing $110 million to produce, the film's domestic performance simply isn't good enough on its own. As a result the studio is waiting on how the film performs in key international territories where star-driven escapist spy films tend to fare better at the box-office. Meanwhile with "The Expendables" opening to a strong $35 million over the weekend, sequel buzz has already begun and Sylvester Stallone tells The Hollywood Reporter that he's already 'plotted out' the follow-up film's direction - "I believe this group has to continue to evolve; it just can't become the same people. So how do you get new people introduced into the group, and how do you have some of the other people leaving? Those are the challenges." Ugh… I can help you with that Sly. Is Carl Weathers still alive? He’s in the sequel… and Michael Jai White, cuz I dig that cat. As for your complex plot schemes for a smooth transition of characters… allow me to help. How do you have some people leaving? Retiring? No, that’s too easy. How about explosions or some kind of other violent death? Perhaps betrayal from within the group. Then you’re not sure who your friends are. Interesting subplot. How do you introduce new characters? “Hi, my name’s Black Dynamite (or Mike Hawk or Bull Dozer or whatever stupid name you want in there… seriously, Hale Caesar?)” Done. You’re welcome. Let me know when the sequel comes out. And see if you can get Antonio Banderas as a bad guy in this one. And Michael Biehn needs a job.

A movie I saw yesterday on TV was… wait for it… “Undead or Alive: A Zombedy” starring Chris Kattan (“Corky Romano”) and James Denton (“Desperate Housewives”). Long story short, a cowboy (Kattan), an army deserter (Denton) and a hot Indian girl meet up while a city is being overrun with brain-craving zombies thanks to a curse by Geronimo. That’s really it. I wish I could tell you more about it but… that’s really it. It has a few funny moments because it’s basically a mockery of zombie flicks… and come on, the star is Chris Kattan. Anyway, check it out if you want… but even as zombie flicks go, it’s kinda dumb, but briefly funny. Just thought I’d let you know how I spent my Sunday afternoon flipping through the channels after shooting some hoops.

X-Men Update - Australian actress Rose Byrne ("Damages") is in negotiations to play Moira MacTaggert in Matthew Vaughn's "X-Men First Class" for 20th Century Fox says The Hollywood Reporter. In the comics MacTaggert is a scientist and an authority on genetic mutation who also serves as the love interest of Charles Xavier (James McAvoy). Meanwhile Jason Flemyng ("Clash of the Titans," "Kick Ass") has apparently been cast as the teleporting mutant Azazel in the project reports Coming Soon. The character was the lead of an ancient race of mutants who looked like demons and could teleport into other dimensions. He was also the father of Nightcrawler. The pair join the likes of confirmed cast members Michael Fassbender, Kevin Bacon, Jennifer Lawrence, Nicholas Hoult and Alice Eve. Filming on the project kicks off in London at the end of this month. Yeah, just another update. You know how I do.

So yeah, that’ll probably be it for today. Happy birthday to Boorappa!!! The Wingman will be coming back from Alaska soon & I think Mrs Wingman will guilt trip him into a trip out here soon enough. Bubbles moved her stuff safely to San Francisco over the weekend (thanks to my directions & assurance that if she drove through the desert long enough eventually she’d see signs for San Fran). Can’t wait to visit Utah in a few weeks and see my family, especially the niece & nephew who say good night to me just about every day they’re up at grandma’s now. Those kids are f**king cute. Period. Anyway, you already knew that. Have a great night everybody!!!

Come On Baby, Let Me Know

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

It’s almost Valentine’s / President’s Weekend. Do you have plans? Do you have someone to hold you tight & keep you warm? Well, I hope so…but if not, you know where I’m at. It’s supposed to be a beautiful weekend here in Tahoe so I’ve got to find something (or someone) to do. I’m sure I will though. I’m pretty resilient that way…and let’s face it, I’m charming, adorable, funny, smart, sweet, tall, courteous, and hung like a horse. If the ladies can get past the fact that I’m a bit of a dork, then like Tony Montana said, “With the right woman, ain’t no stopping me. I go straight to the top.” Okay, so time for the funny story of the day…

As I was leaving work yesterday, a male coworker of mine (honestly don’t recall his name…so we’ll call him Fred) asked, “So did you go topless last week?” “Excuse me?” I looked around to see if he was perhaps talking to somebody more amply chested then myself standing behind me. “You drive that red Jeep right? The hard-top?” “Oh yeah, yeah that’s me. Are you the red soft-top that I see out there?” “Yeah buddy. Last week was National Topless Day, February 3rd. You’re supposed to pop your top off, no matter what the weather.” “Oh, I didn’t know that such a thing existed. I’m a fairly new Jeep owner. I’m sure my newsletter’s on the way. Wait, didn’t it snow February 3rd?” “It sure did.” “Hmm, glad I didn’t know about it then.” It was about this time that I noticed that there were two female coworkers standing in a nearby doorjam eavesdropping on our conversation (one of which I think is REALLY cute, we’ll call her Millie), “What are you guys talking about?” Fred said, “It’s a Jeep thing. Don’t worry about it.” So basically, now a girl that I think is really cute knows that I have a sweet red Jeep…and that I have no problem with going topless when the time is right…nor apparently discussing it in the workplace. Anyway, here’s the news with a bit of Valentine’s Twist…

Sexiest Songs? - Just in time for Valentine's Day, Billboard has ranked the 50 sexiest songs by popularity (and, in absolute atrocity, Barry White didn't even make the list). Any guesses on what the sexiest song of all time is? Anybody? You’ll never ever guess. It’s really quit ridiculous. Give up? It's Olivia Newton-John…and that f**king song "Physical" is No. 1, followed by Rod Stewart's "Tonight's the Night (Gonna Be Alright)." Rounding out the top five are Boyz II Men's ballad "I'll Make Love to You," Next's "Too Close" and Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get it On." (Gaye's "Sexual Healing" is also #35) It's not until No. 10 with Rod Stewart's "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?" that sex is mentioned in any song title. Oh yeah, you read that right. There are TWO Rod Stewart songs in the top 10…and no Barry White in the top 50. Billboard's list, released Thursday, is based on the popularity of songs from 1958 until early January of this year. So I blame YOU for this horrible list. Okay, not you specifically…but, for example, people who were alive back when the chick from Grease & Rod Stewart were considered sexy…so probably not too many people reading this sentence. Anyway, the list is crap obviously…but here are a few ditties that I liked…

15. "You Makin' Me High" by Toni Braxton - I would actually place this a little higher on my list. Nothing like a sultry queen appreciating the finer things...

20. "Afternoon Delight" by Starland Vocal Band - Greatest dirty song ever...and Ron Burgundy agrees...but sexy?

23. "Do Me" by Bell Biv Devoe - I karaoke the f**k outta this song...

24. “Ignition” by R. Kelly – I love love LOVE that this song is on here…because it is, in fact, on my mix tape that I noted earlier in this blog of mine. Besides, apparently R. Kelly has a bit of a bad reputation now…but you can’t deny the song. And yes, I have sang this song to Baby, Brandy & Gretchen…and they love it. I also like that "Bump & Grind" is #36.

Electric Boogaloo – Music is a pretty important part of “setting the mood” but what’s even better? How about learning to dance a bit? Cut a rug? Impress your woman with your ballroom dancing skills (oh yes ladies, I lika do da cha cha) and then later on the two of you can mambo all night long. Then there’s this douche. A Baraboo, Wisconsin man was accused of repeatedly shocking a male dance instructor with a stun gun, claiming the instructor was a "sinner" who "defiles married women." A Dane County prosecutor said the suspect, 59, hastily arranged a dance lesson at the instructor's Madison home and showed up with a stun gun and sledgehammer (#41 on the sexiest songs list, oddly enough) last Friday. The criminal complaint said the man told a detective that his church does not condone touching while dancing and that he was going to scare the instructor "and tell him to leave the women alone." The Wisconsin State Journal said the instructor told police that the suspect phoned for private dance lessons, and when he opened the door to his home, he began to shock him repeatedly in the neck with the stun gun. Thank God that whack job forgot about the sledgehammer. Speaking of douches…

John Mayer’s Douchedom Revealed – Yeah ladies, I like his songs too…but just read the article. That’s all I’m going to say on that.

Formula for Love? - Romantics looking for everlasting love will swoon over a new love equation released just in time for Valentine's Day and which can calculate the right age to fall in love. The equation nicknamed the "Fiancee Formula" was created by an Australian mathematics professor and works by factoring in the age at which you start looking for a long-term partner and the absolute oldest age you would consider getting married. "Although probability isn't the most romantic basis for a marriage, the formula does seem to fit a lot of couples -- whether through accident or design," said the equation's creator, Professor Tony Dooley at the University of New South Wales. "There's no reason why the science can't be extended to calculate the best moment to marry." However, love birds take note, the mathematical equation for love only has a 37% success rate. The formula is helpful as a guide for the right moment to start getting serious, but could also be used by nervous men to calculate when to avoid the ultimate commitment, said Dooley. Want to know the formula? Yeah? Well, here’s the link for it…and it’s completely founded in random numbers. Why is it the 37% success rate? No idea…but it’s basically taking the age where you first consider the idea of proposing…and the latest age you would still consider it…and picking the point that’s 37% of the way between those ages. So let’s say for example, I would consider marriage now (28, since I can’t go back in time) and the latest would be 40 (by then I’ll just f**k anything with a heartbeat). So that’s 12 years difference, 37% of the way through that would be my prime proposal age…so I would be 32 or so. There’s your formula. Best of luck to all of you…but I’m going to give you some mathematical advice on dating (and no, it’s not the famous nerdy pickup line of “You…plus me…minus our clothes…divide your legs…and we’ll multiply” That was 3rd grade!!!). If you want to increase your odds at finding the right mate, then you have to maximize the potential of MEETING the right mate. You want to find someone with your moral values? Go to a church or charity event or clan meeting or whatever you like to do. Want to find someone who’s smart & shares your love for reading? Go to a library or a Shakespearean festival or an art gallery. Want to meet somebody who’s a crazy alcoholic & will probably forget you within a week? Go to a bar (or a friend’s wedding…or a wake). Will you find what you’re looking for? Maybe…but I know one thing. You’re not going to find the New World unless you have the balls to head West. And gentlemen, you’ll know when the time is right to propose. You don’t have to wait until you’re 32.42 years of age or whatever. Honestly, according to this formula, if I was first considering marriage at 22, then my prime time for proposing would’ve been 28.64 years old…which I believe was during my Christmas vacation to Utah a few weeks back…and I have a 37% chance that the next girl that I go out with will be the Love of my life and all that. Don’t rely on numbers. They can deceive. How do I know this? 73% of all statistics are made up on the fly. 39% of high school graduates know that. Good luck.

Well, that’ll do it for today. I just want to thank you all for reading & hopefully enjoying my little rants here…and big ups to all the family & friends out there who make my life so f**king fantastic. I miss you & love you all madly. My wish is that you are all able to spend time with those you Love and enjoy some of those sexy songs together. Have a great weekend everybody!!!

Happy Birthday Vinny

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

I'd like to start things off by wishing a happy 1st birthday to the initial member of the next generation of Love males, my nephew Vinny. You may remember him from many a wonderful pictures throughout this last year or so…including the ultrasound via cell phone where he looked like a faded patch of black dyed denim…but the pictures got better and better. Need proof? Just click on this link and enjoy.

Believe it or not...this was Love at first sight

Watch out ladies...

Great football game last night for anybody that cares about that stuff. Tostitos Fiesta Bowl (with cheese, black beans, jalapenos and salsa) put Texas against "the" Ohio State University…and it was really close and wasn't won until the last few seconds by Texas. Now they think that they have a legitimate argument to be national champions along with the rightful champion Utah Utes…and whoever wins the "national championship" on Thursday between Florida & Oklahoma. Anyway, it was a good game. Congratulations to the Longhorns!!!


Last night I didn't sleep well. No, not because of college football. This is actually a really weird thing for me. I went to bed at a reasonable hour…but just couldn't shut off…which was really weird because I had been tired all day at work. What was I thinking about? What WASN'T I thinking about? What am I going to do about my phone? I can't wait for my mom to visit in a week. This latest weekend in Vegas was amazing. This bed is so comfortable. Am I forgetting to turn something off? The oven? The heater? Look at that view out my window. I wonder if it's going to snow tomorrow. Will Obama really bring about change? What about this 2012 apocalypse thing? How am I gonna make Denver feel like home when I'm gone all the time? I should get some better pillows. I forgot to call my dad and let him know that I was okay. That girl was really hot earlier today. Blah blah blah blah blah. Usually I just close my eyes, take a few deep breaths…think "$teve, you can take care of all of that tomorrow…but now, just go to sleep" and that would be that. Wasn't working last night. Sometimes I think too much. Really all the time but I can usually control it pretty well. So I did some creative writing. A teacher once told me something like "Restlessness is usually a sign of inspiration." Don't worry. I'm not going to bore you with it. It was basically just a lot of rambling anyway…much like this blog…only much lamer. Eventually though, I did get some sleep…and my dad called me this morning at work to check on me. I'm gonna take care of the phone later today…and maybe the pillows too since I have gift cards and need to go grocery shopping anyway. Everything will work itself out. It always does as long as I keep it all in perspective. Not sure why I just rambled about that. Maybe a combination of a slow day and the hope that my ramblings may help you overcome your occasional insomnia, either by suggested methods or boring you to sleep. Whatever works.


On that note of borderline craziness, I also have Kings of Leon stuck in my head…and I blame Bubbles for introducing me to them this past weekend. Their songs "Sex Is On Fire" and "Use Somebody" have been in my head all morning and afternoon so far today. At least it's great music and not that crack noise like "Still Alive" was a few months ago. Anyway, now for the news…


Blow On 'Em, Do Something!!! - An Australian woman accused of setting her husband's genitals on fire because she thought he was having an affair has been charged with murder. Prosecutors said 44-year-old Rajini Narayan confessed to neighbors that she set her husband on fire on December 8th after she saw him hug another woman (repeat, HUG another woman). She was initially charged with endangering life and arson but the charges were upgraded to murder after her 47-year-old husband, Satish Narayan, died from his injuries last week…I'm assuming after many a painful skin graft on his John Shaft. Prosecutor Lucy Boord said Narayan told neighbors she was a "jealous wife" (geez, ya think?) but she hadn't meant to kill him when she doused the sleeping man's genitals with an alcohol-based solvent and then set him on fire. "It belongs to me!" Boord quoted Narayan allegedly saying: "I just wanted to burn his penis so it belongs to me and no one else. I didn't mean this to happen." The husband jumped out of bed and knocked over the bottle of alcohol, causing the fire to spread and resulting in 1 million Australian dollars ($711,000) of damage to their town house and an adjacent property, the Adelaide Advertiser reported. Narayan was remanded in custody for psychological assessment and will reappear in court Friday. She has been charged with murder, arson and three counts of endangering life, as the couple's three children were at home during the incident. This story made me wince a bit. Can you just imagine? Peacefully sleeping away…then instead of being waked by an obnoxious alarm signaling another day at work, it's your CROTCH ON FIRE!!! I'm a firm believer in fitting executions. I say this witch needs to be burned alive…slowly…starting with the crotch. Some call it torture. I call it justice. I mean…was he even having the affair? Has anybody come forward? Who was this woman with whom he apparently hugged her brains out? Maybe it was a cousin that he hadn't seen in a while. So many questions, so few answers…well, I guess no answers now…since he's gone. Those poor kids too. They're basically orphans now because of this craziness. Now they'll have to be raised by dingoes…or maybe a kangaroo. They'll have to survive by hopping, boxing and transporting others of their kind…like some kind of Outback Taxi Service. See, you've got to think ahead before you act irrationally. Who's affected by your decision to be crazy? Who depends on you to keep it together? She's absolutely ass crackers crazy. How do I know this? The quote: "It belongs to me! I just wanted to burn his penis so it belongs to me and no one else." What were you going to do? Take the charred remains, toss it in a bun, add some ketchup and relish. Maybe she had 'roid rage or something. It just reminds me of Lois on that episode of Family Guy where she learns kung fu and grabs Peter's junk, "THIS IS MINE!!! THIS IS WHERE MY BABIES COME FROM!!!"


Inglorious Bastards Update - So to be fair to B-words of all genders, badass director Quentin Tarantino has set a release date for his (allegedly) forthcoming WWII movie "Inglorious Bastards" starring the likes of Brad Pitt, Mike Myers, Maggie Cheung, Diane Kruger and of course…narrated by Samuel L. Jackson. It will open domestically on August 21st, 2009. That's under eight months away. Yippee!!! If you haven't seen all of Tarantino's movies, please do so. You owe it to yourself. I enjoy them a LOT…but I know different strokes for different folks. Just a suggestion.


Rating the Internet? - I've claimed for a while now that my blog would be rated PG-13 for language, suggestive themes and mind-blowing orgasms…but it may soon become the norm. The kind of ratings used for films could be applied to websites in a bid to better police the Internet and protect children from harmful and offensive material according to Britain's minister for culture (does America have a minister of culture?). Andy Burnham told The Daily Telegraph newspaper, published on Saturday, that the government was planning to negotiate with the administration of President-elect Barack Obama to draw up new international rules for English language websites. "The more we seek international solutions to this stuff -- the UK and the U.S. working together -- the more that an international norm will set an industry norm." Giving websites film-style ratings would be one possibility. Internet service providers could also be forced to offer services where the only sites accessible are those deemed suitable for children. Any moves to censor the Internet would go to the heart of a debate about freedom of speech on the World Wide Web. "If you look back at the people who created the Internet they talked very deliberately about creating a space that governments couldn't reach. I think we are having to revisit that stuff seriously now." He said some content should not be available to be viewed. "This is not a campaign against free speech, far from it; it is simply there is a wider public interest at stake when it involves harm to other people. We have got to get better at defining where the public interest lies and being clear about it." Burnham, who has three young children, pointed to the example of a 9 p.m. television "watershed" in Britain before which certain material, like violence, cannot be broadcast, and said better controls were needed for the Internet. The minister wants new industry-wide "take down times" so that websites like YouTube or Facebook would have to remove offensive or harmful content within a specified time once it is brought to their attention. He also said Britain was considering changing libel laws to give people access to legal help if they are defamed online.


Interesting point…and on that note, Terrell Owens sucks…very well. There, I had to get that out before the ratings system is in place. Anyway, I kind of like the idea…but I'm a little scared of who's going to make the decisions on what's offensive. Sure, sex and violence and drug use and all that weird, kinky German stuff that you find has it's time and place and audience (college) but what if I find Sex & the City offensive? Desperate Housewives? Judge Judy? Daytime talk shows? Regis Philbin? Webcams? Any kind of opinion about the Eagles that is not of the positive and uplifting nature? How about this? Instead the a system like G, PG, PG-13, R, NC-17, XXX or whatever…I suggest that we rate the internet on a scale of A, B, C, D or F? Based on its content…but whether or not it's useful…or educational…or some jerk who rambles about whatever. Let's base it on the entertainment value. My grade - C+ and that's good enough for a degree. I don't know. It's tricky, just like any other kind of censorship. What do you guys & gals think?


Anyway, that'll do it for today. Tonight, I'm going to get me a new phone, do some grocery shopping, maybe get me some new pillows. We'll see what the market is for firm yet soft head cushions. Sigh…breasts. I'll let you know when I can start taking phone numbers again. If you have my email, please hook me up. Have a great day everybody!!!

Who Left the Freezer Open?

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

It's still damn cold. The sun's out and it's a gorgeous day…but it's also about ten degrees below according to the thermometers and the wind is helping bring that down a bit. Coworkers are coming in with their horror stories about trying to drive this weekend…and that makes me like my apartment that much more. Though let me tell you, walking a few dozen yards in a suit normally I'm never cold…but yeah, in about a thirty second walk it went through the many layers of my magnificent suit and chilled right to the bone. The fact that there was frost on the doorknobs didn’t help things either. I believe the key word of today is…brrrrrrrrrrrr. Now would be a good time to have a lovely lady nearby to keep each other warm…but alas…that is not the case.

Saw something interesting last night…and it was a preview for this new show (on Fox of course) called "Momma's Boy" which is basically the Bachelor setup…with a twist. It takes three bachelors and 32 bachelorettes…and puts them in a mansion living together…and romance (drama) ensues. The twist though…is that the bachelor's mothers are also in the mansion…and will apparently show up whenever they want to add even more drama…and call out the hoochiness that will certainly ensue as they try to get the prize (whether it's one of the bachelors or a million bucks or whatever it is). This is the kind of show that I would have made…because it was certainly a twisted mind that came up with it (again, on Fox). I can imagine myself being one of the bachelors (too bad nobody else would want to see it) and my mother being around and watching the crazy stuff that I would have them do…for the sake of good television (whatever that means anymore). "I want you ladies to reenact the final fight scene of 'Last of the Mohicans' in the traditional style…in your underwear." "What the…why would we want to…" "It will amuse me…and the other bachelors (they agree). You have fifteen minutes for wardrobe and to construct your own weapons out of materials found around the house." "I've never seen Last of the Mohicans." "ELIMINATED!!! I won't tolerate excuses. Pack your bags sweetheart. Anybody else never seen it? If not, I highly suggest that you Google that (bleep) immediately." They scurry off to get ready. My mom walks up to me, "$tever Beaver (she calls me that for some reason), why are you having them do this?" "Why not? Besides, it was either this or an entire season of KY wrestling, muay thai kickboxing, obstacle courses, blatant sexual innuendo, jumping jacks, make out sessions, full-on fornication, catfights behind the scenes, teary-eyed confessions to the camera, childhood complexes coming to the forefront, and all the other reality TV drama stuff. I'm trying to switch it up." "Well, you've certainly done that." "Wait until they find the random turds placed around the mansion with ninja-like skill throughout the season. It'll blow their (bleep) minds...and test their mystery-solving skills." "Why are you telling me this?" "To let the viewers at home know what to expect…you know, give a little foreshadow…and you'll be just as surprised as they are when they're found." Love you mama!!! Oh…and Fox, let me know when my show is set for production.

I was listening to the radio last night…and stumbled upon Sunday Night Slow Jams on KS107.5 here in Denver. Normally they're #1 in Hip-Hop and so usually it's about an hour loop of Akon, Lil' Wayne, TI, Rihanna, and a few old school jams thrown in like Biggie's "One More Chance" or some 2Pac or something. However, on Sunday nights, they slow it down…and play a lot of smooth R&B…of which I approve…especially on a cooooold cold night. They even had special guest Avant on…and I'm pretty sure it's a syndicated show…but still awesome. So why am I bringing this up? There was one song on there…that seemed a little out of place…and by a little, I mean a LOT. It's entitled "Gangsta Lean (This is for my Homies)" by P DRS apparently…and in the middle of a string of love ballads and slow jams…to have a guy singing about his homies in the same kind of way…both those that are no longer with us…and those in the state penitentiary, just didn't seem like the right time & place for that song…and it seemed like just kind of a ridiculous song to me. The worst part was when the whole song is this super slow jam…and then right in the middle, he gets all thuggish and just starts rappin' to his homies…and then goes back to the slow jam. I don't know. Give it a listen if you get the chance and let me know what you think. Other than that, it was a great mix…so big ups to KS107.5, my new favorite station here in Denver. Now here's the news…

Some People Have ALL the Luck - In a span of 10 days, a man learned he won two automobiles in separate contests. Michel Horton (isn't Michel a girl's name?) picked up his newest ride a few weeks ago, a 2008 "Bon Jovi Special Edition" Saturn Outlook, at a dealership in Topeka, Kansas. He was notified of the win on Oct. 15. The entry also netted him a guitar and gold-plated Bon Jovi records…but that was his second free vehicle. Horton was notified Oct. 5 he had won a Mitsubishi Lancer in a contest sponsored by Bic lighter. As if that weren't enough, he also won tickets to a recent Kansas City Chiefs football game in another drawing…which is still technically a win though the Chiefs suck. Horton said rather than collecting the Lancer, he opted to take the cash-in value of $28,800 for the car. He said that will help pay the income tax and personal property taxes on his winnings. Well of course that's what he said. Why would he say otherwise? Were you expecting him to say "F**k the IRS. I've got Slippery When Wet on GOOOOOOLD!!! I’m a cowboy…on a Saaaturn I ride…" Yeah, only a crazy Utahn living in Denver would say something stupid like that…and then get audited…and probably have his new couch taken away or something. So yeah, Mr. Horton heard a who and got a new car, cash prize and tickets to a Chiefs game. Will it bring him happiness though? I hope so. I mean…the guy lives in Topeka so he could use all the stimulation he can get. Maybe the tickets were to the game yesterday against the Chargers where the Chiefs were all set to win…up until screwing it up again in the last few minutes. By the way, didn't get to see the finish of that game…due to "contractual obligations" with the Broncos games starting. Least favorite thing about Denver…is having to watch the Broncos games no matter what. It's like "Heidi" cutting into the end of that game back in the 70's. Anybody else know what I’m talking about? Okay, I’m done. Not a sports crowd reading this blog usually. Some people are just born lucky I guess…

White Lions Born - Staff at Belgrade Zoo showed off two white lion cubs to the public on Sunday, the first of their rare species to be born there. The cubs' mother was also white lioness, Masa, while their father (Mufasa?) is a regular-color lion (as opposed to just being called colored), said zoo manager Vuk Bojovic while briefly showing them to visitors. White lions are not a separate species nor are they albino. They're just genetically rare cubs, unique to the Timbavati area of South Africa. White lions are extremely rare in the wild because although they are considered divine by local people, they are also highly prized by hunters. A 2004 study counted only 30 of them in the African wild. In a bid to preserve their population, they have been bred selectively for generations in zoos across the world. Well, now the world population is 32. They're not pandas…but they're still pretty damn cool…and cute, so they can stay.

Not So Cute Animal - A peculiar amphibian that was clad in bony armor prowled warm lakes 210 million years ago, catching fish and other tasty snacks with one of the most unusual bites in the history of life on Earth. The creature called Gerrothorax Pulcherrimus, which lived alongside some of the early dinosaurs, opened its mouth not by dropping its lower jaw, as other vertebrate animals do. Instead, it lifted back the top of its head in a way that looked a lot like lifting the lid of a toilet seat. "It's weird. It's the ugliest animal in the world," Harvard University's Farish Jenkins (who apparently is a jerkass) said in a telephone interview on Friday. "You almost can't imagine holding your jaws still and lifting your head back to take a bite. There are some vertebrates that will lift their heads slightly or the upper jaws (when they bite). Some salamanders do it slightly. Some fish do it slightly…but no animal is known to have done it this extensively." Scientists think Gerrothorax lurked at the bottom of a lake, then with a sudden movement of the skull created a mouth gape that entrapped any fish unfortunate enough to swim by. Gerrothorax measured about 3 feet (1 meter) long and was stoutly protected by bony body armor reminiscent of chain mail. It had a very flat body and very flat head, short, stubby limbs and well-developed gills. Its jaws were lined with sharp teeth…and the roof of its mouth was studded with large fangs to keep any slippery fish from escaping its chomp.

Why do I share this with you? Because nature intrigues me to no end. I mean, you know about my craziness over ladies, dinosaurs and pandas…but just to think that over 99% of the species to be on this planet are extinct…and there are millions and millions of species that are currently on this planet…so there are BILLIONS of different creatures that have been here…and we're discovering new ones every day. We know so little about this place, yet we act like we know what's best for everything. It's weird…and contradictory. Also, if you're ever feeling like you're not a gorgeous creature…just remember that it could be worse. You could be a bony plated, upside-down faced frog from the Cretaceous Period with stubby limbs that had to lurk on the bottom of a lake because otherwise he'd scare his food away and then millions of years later some pompous ass from Harvard would call you "the ugliest animal in the world" in front of a panel of nerds. Just remember though, at least they had well-developed lungs…er, gills. You can't say enough about heathing lung capacity on a creature…and that still goes for today. You ladies are gorgeous…and I’m always happy to turn that frown upside-down face.

Sexbot Update - A robot that can jump like a grasshopper and roll like a ball might be the next best thing for space exploration. The "Jollbot" is the first robot with the ability to leap over obstacles and roll over smoother terrain, said engineer Rhodri Armour and colleagues from the University of Bath's Center for Biometic & Natural Technologies in England. The machine, announced last week, is a desirable candidate for surface surveys of planets or moons, he said, because of these advantages:

• The Jollbot's spherical build allows it to roll in any direction, giving it the maneuverability of wheels without the problem of overturning or getting stuck in potholes.


• Its cage-like surface is flexible and small - weighing less than two pounds - meaning it won't get damaged easily after high jumps and is therefore less expensive than other conventional exploration robots.


• Its jumping capabilities are controlled by electrical motors that slowly store the energy needed to spring into a leap, mimicking the natural movement of grasshoppers that follow a "pause and leap" motion by storing muscle energy in spring-like elements, then rapidly releasing the energy to make the jump.
  

The robot gets ready to jump by squashing itself slowly - storing energy in the process - and then releases that energy all at once, Armour said, springing upwards in the air to almost 20 inches. Scientists are currently researching ways to improve the Jollbot's engineering so that it can power itself in space, such as including a stretchy skin of solar cells on the outside of the robot, and robotic control sensors to enable it to sense its environment. Now for the important thing, why is this a Sexbot update? Well, besides the obvious reference in the name Jollbot to a Jolie-Bot, this is merely a robot that they are using technology to improve the equivalent of a Massage Roomba. Instead of cleaning your floors though, it will leap onto the table, roll over the smooth terrain of your back and buttocks, and even gently jump and massage your back using sensors to find your pressure points…all while conserving energy for maximum efficiency. Okay, so that's a little farfetched…but what do you expect? Here's some video of the robot in action. Still curious why they called it a Jolie-Bot, Jollbot though.

Anyway, that'll do it for today. Haven't been to the gym in a while but I'll be sure to get there today…and it's not like I've been sitting on my ass the past week. Still lookin' good in the mirror, if I say so myself. Have a great day everybody!!! GO EAGLES!!!