Friday, June 11, 2010

Winners F**k the Prom Queen

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well, it’s the weekend. Possible date lined up for tomorrow. Should be magnificent weather for the next… I don’t know, five months. Good times. The NBA Finals is going well. The World Cup has officially began (the only time soccer’s culturally relevant because it’s on ALL the ESPN networks) and it’s just a great time to be alive. Honestly not a whole lot of news out of me. Work’s busy, the search for a new roommate continues…but there’s plenty of time still, I’m always contemplating my life and how I can better myself, new experiences every single day, just another day in the life. So yeah, I guess I’ll get right to the news of the day…

Bank Robbing Update - Police in Ellensburg, Washington, said a man looking for a place to sleep broke into the basement of a bank to do so. And of course, he had been drinking. Surveillance video shows the man breaking a basement window about 3 a.m. Saturday and leaving before 8 a.m. Police tracked down the 21-year-old by Tuesday and arrested him at his home for investigation of second-degree burglary and malicious mischief. Capt. Dan Hansberry said the man was intoxicated and doesn't know why he went to the bank to snooze. The interesting part of this story though…is that he was there for five whole hours…with no police response. It took them over three whole days to track him down. Do you have any idea how far you can travel with a trunk, backpack, briefcase and/or sack full of money in three days? Maybe it was a delayed response because, for some reason, they didn’t have alarms on the windows, just the vault or registers or whatever…but still. Maybe the boy was just casing the joint. I would’ve used the “Oh man, I must’ve been WASTED Friday night. My bad” excuse too if the cops finally found me. Anyway, we shall see if security’s beefed up at this branch now that this has happened.

Angelina Update - Angelina Jolie is attached to star in a biopic of "Cleopatra" which Scott Rudin is producing reports USA Today. The project has been in development since 2006 and will be based on Pulitzer Prize-winning biographer Stacy Schiff's new book, "Cleopatra: A Life". Rudin's office confirms that the project "is being developed for and with Jolie" while this week in New York, Schiff suggested Brad Pitt would be "a no-brainer" to play Marc Antony. Hell, I’d watch it. It could be “Troy” or it could be “Alexander.” Do you think anybody will complain about Hollywood “whitewashing” another movie like they did with “Prince of Persia” & “The Last Airbender” this summer? Probably not. Why? Because they might get to see a movie with Pitt & Jolie together again…and it’s impossible to hate “Mr & Mrs Smith.” Go ahead and try. Also, this movie project isn't to be confused with Steven Soderbergh's planned musical based on the ancient Egyptian queen that was to star Catherine Zeta-Jones and Hugh Jackman (thank God). Oh yes, there’s a musical in the works too. A little something for everybody in the realm of Cleopatra. Can you guess which one I’m going to watch?

Arthur Remake – Yes, it’s another King Arthur remake in the works starring some British dude with bad hair and an annoying accent. Wait, what? Oh, it’s not THAT Arthur? It’s THE Arthur? The one portrayed by Dudley Moore in two fantastic 80’s comedies of drunken quick wit? Oh well that’s much better. Russell Brand (“Forgetting Sarah Marshall” & “Get Him to the Greek”) is already attached as the title character while Jennifer Garner (“Elektra”) and Nick Nolte (“Tropic Thunder”) are in talks to join the cast of the "Arthur" remake for Warner Bros. Pictures says The Hollywood Reporter. Jason Winer directs and Peter Baynham penned the script for the new incarnation of the Dudley Moore comedy classic about a drunken millionaire playboy (Brand) who stands to inherit a fortune if he marries an heiress. However he's fallen for a charismatic shoplifter (Greta Gerwig, never heard of her) and risks his trust fund to take a chance on this woman who makes him feel alive. Garner will play the heiress while Nolte is her deeply religious father. Helen Mirren also stars. As you may know, I loved the Arthur movies with Dudley Moore. It’s just my kind of humor…and I’m a little excited that Russell Brand is going to play the part. P.S. You’ll never guess which movie my date this weekend wants to see. That’s right. Get Him to the Greek. Should be a lot of fun. Oh and this movie should be pretty good too. We’ll see.

My Idiot Brother – You know, when I heard last week that Paul Rudd was doing a movie called “My Idiot Brother” I was mildly interested in it. Now, I must watch this movie. Why? Great eye candy. Elizabeth Banks ("Role Models"), Zooey Deschanel ("500 Days of Summer"), Emily Mortimer ("Shutter Island") and Rashida Jones ("I Love You Man") have joined the comedy "My Idiot Brother" says The Hollywood Reporter. Paul Rudd plays an idealist (unemployed artist?) who crashes at the homes of his three ambitious sisters and brings both havoc and revelatory happiness into their lives. Banks will play the career-driven single sister about to get her big break in journalism after spending years writing about accessories at a fashion magazine. Deschanel will play the bisexual sister whose flakiness is disrupting her relationship with caring, responsible girlfriend (Jones). I’m going to repeat that for everybody out there who may have just scanned over it (and for BSUWG). Zooey Deschanel, will play the flaky BISEXUAL sister…to her responsible girlfriend…played by Rashida Jones. Okay, with me? Moving on. Mortimer plays the married with kids sister, a woman too worried about having the perfect life and children to notice that her marriage is falling apart. Evgenia Peretz and David Schisgall wrote the screenplay which Jesse Peretz is directing. Shooting kicks off next month in New York. Nice, right? Eh, we’ll see. Lots of potential. Now, behold the triumphant return of the Movie List…

San Francisco Movie List

Visiting San Francisco thrice in the past few months has been an incredible experience…and so convenient to my Truckee home for a quick weekend adventure. However, it also has brought back on-screen adventures starring the city…and so I thought that I’d bless y’all with some of my favorites…and suggestions so that you can enjoy the city even if you’re not there. I’m sure Bubbles would appreciate this list too so that when she’s walking around town she can go “Oh my gosh, this is where Nicolas Cage stopped a street car with a Ferrari!” These were kind of off memory as far as movies starring the city, so I’m up for any suggestions if I’m forgetting any important ones.

Medal Winners

Gold – Vertigo (1958) – Really love this movie. Every time I watch it, I just enjoy the entire thing. Alfred Hitchcock’s masterpiece about a private investigator with a fear of heights (Jimmy Stewart) who is hired to follow the wife (Kim Novak) of a former acquaintance-turned-millionaire. The PI falls in love with the wife in this twisted tale where nothing is as it seems. I do a poor job of summarizing it…but I’ve done it a few times before. Just go watch it. This one wins the Gold Medal because the city of San Francisco is featured predominantly as well as the local missions and national forests…and is a great dramatic backdrop to this gripping tale. Want more Hitchcock? Well, Bubbles… please don’t watch “The Birds” (1963) because you’ll never look at our buddy Oswald or seagulls the same…and it’ll just freak you out. However, another great PI flick that I would suggest is “The Maltese Falcon” (1941) starring Humphrey Bogart…which is also set in San Francisco. Basically that’s three classic that you should check out.

Silver – The Rock (1996) – Also love this movie. It’s one of those Bruckheimer action explosions that happens to be set in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. When Alcatraz is taken over by a group of rogue Marines led by Ed Harris and they threaten to launch biological missiles on the city by the bay, the government calls on a bioweapons supergeek (Nicolas Cage) and a British secret agent who’s been in jail the past 30 years but is the only person to escape the Rock (Sean Connery) to help take the island back and disarm the warheads. It’s like the Odd Couple go to prison…sort of. Also love the car chase scene with the Hummer and the Ferrari. Whenever I see this on TV, I have to watch it. Period. Last time I watched it, the night before my latest trip to hang out with Bubbles. It was serendipity (wasn’t that movie in San Fran too?) Want more action? Clint Eastwood stars as “Dirty Harry” (1971) as badass detective Harry Callahan…and there were like three sequels. Want more Rock? Check out “Birdman of Alcatraz” (1962) starring Burt Lancaster as the infamous Robert Stroud…and even Telly Savales stars in it, not as Kojak. Oh, so you want more car chases? I can dig it. How about one of the greatest car chase movies ever? That’s right, “Bullitt” (1968) starring my namesake Steve McQueen as a badass cop determined to bring down the underworld kingpin who killed a protected witness in his custody. Also stars the likes of Jacqueline Bissett, Robert Duvall, and The Man himself, Robert Vaughn (“Baseketball” & “Pootie Tang”). How do you like that? FOUR more classics for you to check out…and we’re only to the silver medal.

Bronze – So I Married An Axe Murderer (1993) – Seriously, love this movie. How could you possibly not love it? It’s so quotable…and it’s Mike Myers in his prime. For that one person out there who hasn’t seen it, the story is about a beat poet (Myers) who falls in love with a butcher (Nancy Travis) but thinks that she might be the black widow killer, Mrs X from the Weekly World News. It’s just an incredible movie through and through…and absolutely hilarious. Though San Fran’s been host to a lot of great comedies over the years like “Mrs Doubtfire” (1993) starring Robin Williams, “40 Days & 40 Nights” (2002) starring Josh Hartnett, and “Nine Months” (1995) with Hugh Grant & Tom Arnold. However, the one that almost got the bronze…just because it’s so f**king awesome is John Carpenter’s classic “Big Trouble in Little China” (1986) starring Kurt Russell as a truck driver who stumbles upon some crazy sh*t in Chinatown that could bring about the end of the world…and he gets to save a damsel in distress, even though it’s Kim Cattrell (“Sex & the City”). Still it was back in the “Mannequin” days. Great flick to watch with friends.

Suggestion – Metro (1997) – Well, besides all the others that I’ve already suggested, I gotta show some love for Eddie Murphy. He’s had a rough millennium when it comes to making movies. However, one that I really liked from the 90’s was “Metro” where he’s an SF Metro hostage negotiator teamed up with Michael Rappaport. Basically, they catch a bank robber, but he escapes and kidnaps his girlfriend, so now they have to save her & get the bank robber. Again, poor summary…but deal with it. It’s Eddie Murphy as a hostage negotiator. What could possibly be bad about that? Another one I really like is “The Fan” (1996) starring Wesley Snipes as…well, basically Barry Bonds when he went to the Giants. He’s a big time baseball star with a big time contract…and a big Giants fan (Robert DeNiro) slowly but surely obsesses over him…and it gets to “Taxi Driver” creepy status before long. Honestly, another thing I remember from this movie…is that there’s this baseball player Juan Primo (Benecio del Toro) that comes in and steals some of Wesley’s thunder…and he looks like Pau Gasol.

Flush It – Zodiac (2007) – I was really divided on this one…because there were two big time contenders in my opinion. This movie that I had such high hopes for because it was directed by David Fincher (“Seven”) and had Robert Downey jr…or there was director Ang Lee’s interpretation of The Incredible Hulk in “Hulk” (2003) starring Eric Bana & Jennifer Connelly. So why Zodiac? Well, because it wasted an extra hour of my life…and absolutely nothing happened. Honestly, after watching the movie, I felt like “Okay, absolutely nothing happened…except time passed.” At least with Hulk, despite it being…what it was, there was still some ridiculous action going on. Also, a few years later they did a better version of the movie with Edward Norton, so I’m cool with just forgetting about it. Anyway, I wouldn’t recommend either of these movies. I just saved you five hours of your life. You’re welcome. Use it watching some of my previous suggestions.

Future Watch – Milk (2009) – I still haven’t watched the story of Harvey Milk as portrayed by Sean Penn. I know, I know. “$teve, you’ve gone to Pride the past few years to show your support for the GBLT community…yet you haven’t seen Milk? For shame.” Well, I haven’t watched “Brokeback Mountain” either…or “Rent” or most musicals, so what’s your point? It has just never won out when the choices arose…and it was “Hmm, I could watch Milk…or I could watch (action movie with hot chick costar). I think I’ll go with one.” However, I’m sure I’ll watch it someday. As far as other movies set in San Francisco in the future (“Terminator: Salvation”?), I’d hate to see a big earthquake movie…because that’s been done to death. Maybe “Speed 3” with a cable car? Nah, that’d be even worse than “Speed 2” believe it or not. Hmm, maybe a CGI kids flick about a one-legged pigeon named “Oswald” who befriends two humans named $teve & Bubbles and they go on wacky adventures. I’d watch it…because I’d pretty much star in it. Anyway, San Francisco’s a beautiful city & I love getting to see it in movies. Except for when they constantly tear down the Golden Gate Bridge. Seriously, I think it’s in competition with the White House, the Statue of Liberty & the Eiffel Tower as most destroyed landmark in cinematic history. I may have to Google that to see who’s leading the way. My money’s on that Frenchy radio tower.

Anyway, that’ll do it for today. With thoughts of San Francisco and a possible job change and lifestyle change over the past few weeks, I heard a pretty good quote that I’d like to share with y’all. It’s from a British judge named Michael Nolan who said, “There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few that will catch your heart. Pursue those.” Deep, right? Anyway, you’ve all caught my heart…and I’m truly blessed to know you. Have a great weekend everybody!!!

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