Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Whew… Busy time at work, which I guess means job security, and that the days whiz right by, but it’d be nice to have somebody else I could hand off duties to if I, for example, wanted to use my over two months of paid vacation saved up. Oh yeah. You think I was traveling before? Just wait until winter comes back and I’m “forced” to go on vacation by year’s end. Anyway, that’s a little down the road. In the meantime, I had a late night softball game last night. We lost pretty horribly, but I went 1 for 2 with a double and a run…but we had single-digit runs in softball, which is pretty bad. Stoked for the Zepparella concert tonight!!! It should be awesome. Again have no idea what to do this weekend, but there’s plenty of opportunity to get drunk with the Reno Pub Crawl and a Wine Walk at the Northstar ski resort available for a cheap date. Then again, if that’s all I wanted to do, I could just do that at home. Next week my dad & stepmom will be visiting for the 4th of July week. It should be a good time…and I’ve been needing it. Been kinda lonely the past few days…and it doesn’t help that a few of my friends have been feeling the same…but hey, I’m here for them. I kid you not, with work & friends, yesterday I was on the phone from 6 AM to 8 PM, then played softball & had a few voicemails waiting for me when I was done. Though I may be hundreds or thousands of miles away, they know they can call me anytime…and I’m usually pretty good about cheering them up, even when I’m in a less-than-silly mood. I have no idea why I should be feeling the way I do…but I figure it’s probably just hormones or something and will pass in a few days. It is a full moon…and it was gorgeous last night. Anyway, enough of my jabbering, here’s some news…
GOOOOOOOL!!! – Apparently the United States defied all odds and actually WON a soccer game in the World Cup in dramatic fashion (over Algeria) to move on into the elimination tournament of 16 teams. Take that Britain!!! That’s ugh… really all I have on this. There’s more on the link if you want to read on but… it’s soccer. The NBA Draft (aka Christmas) is tonight…so there’ll be MUCH more on that come Friday. Next…
Naked Cowgirl - New York City's famous Naked Cowboy wants a bikini-clad woman who calls herself “The Naked Cowgirl” to stop ripping off his trademark. The Times Square cowboy, whose real name is Robert Burck, is known for strumming his guitar wearing only briefs and a cowboy hat (can I see the patent on that?). He has sent a cease-and-desist letter to Sandy Kane, who wears a red, white and blue cowboy hat and matching bikini. Burck says if Kane's going to make money by posing for photos, he wants her to sign a "Naked Cowboy Franchise Agreement." Most of his licensed franchisees (how many are there?) are required to pay $5,000 a year or $500 a month and go through a screening process. Kane, who is in her 50s (shiver), is a former stripper who's now a fixture of the city comedy scene. Her real name is Sandra Brodsky. She says she doesn't owe Burck anything. He’ll let the courts decide…but I’ve often considered becoming a street performer (as I discussed with Bubbles the other day when her heart was broken about the breakdancers from my latest trip not actually being with DARE, GASP!!!). When you work for tax-free tips, there’s a reason so many people do it. Have you ever trailed a scruffy street performer when they’re done with their gig…and watched them go around the corner…and hop into their Lexus? Oh yes. Think about it. You’re sitting there playing pretty basic guitar riffs and singing the wrong words to “American Pie” and the like for maybe three hours a day…and let’s say on a slow day, somebody throws a dollar into your hat, about once a minute. You just made about $200 tax-free…on a slow day. Yeah! See my point? How many of you out there make less than half that for a full 8 hour day & Uncle Sam gets just as much? Oh, my hand is definitely raised. It’s a twisted world we live in sometimes. Oh well, if you’ve got talent, let it out…and feel free to capitalize on it. God knows I would… but apparently prostitution’s illegal and that’s the realm where all my talents lie. Oh well, I’ll just need to develop some talents…and THEN…
Possible New Home - Listed as a "monument to unparalleled success," the largest home for sale in the United States comes with plenty of space but no carpet, tiles or interior walls. It's up to the future buyer to finish it. The mansion started by timeshare tycoon David Siegel boasts plenty of big numbers like 90,000 square feet, 23 bathrooms, 13 bedrooms,10 kitchens, a 20-car garage, with additional space for two limos, 3 pools, a bowling alley, an indoor roller rink, a two-story movie theater, video arcade, fitness center, even a baseball field and two tennis courts. All that and more for $75 million "as is." There's an option to buy it completed for $100 million (Really? $25 million for furniture?). Nicknamed "Versailles" for the French royal palace that inspired it, the edifice hit the market recently. Construction was halted last year to save money in a recession that proved particularly hard on Siegel's once-booming industry. "This mansion is a great anecdote of the over-consumption that led to the housing bust, and it might be the poster child of such overindulgence," said Jack McCabe, a Florida-based real estate analyst (and worst salesman ever). The unfinished palace at 6121 Kirkstone Lane makes Tiger Woods' place just down the street in this gated Orlando suburb look more like a guest house. It has the square footage of nearly two football fields, is almost double the White House and about 36 times the size of the average American family home. The master bedroom alone, which would have had a rotating bed under a skylight, is twice the size of a standard house. "It's like a living piece of art," said Lorraine Barrett, a Coldwell Banker real estate agent who has the listing. At least it will be upon completion. Instead of stonewalled gates, a chain-link fence with a green covering keeps onlookers out of the 10-acre property. The driveway is overrun with dirt and rocks. Weeds fill the planned baseball field. The home opens into a grand hall with symmetrical staircases and a ceiling complete with a stained-glass dome befitting a cathedral. The rest of the mansion is more an outline with only steel beams, insulation and most of the electrical wiring in place. The two elevator shafts are empty. Stone for the exterior is waiting in boxes that fill the cavernous garage. The Olympic-length pool that will have a waterfall flowing into another pool is a carved-out shell. A cleaning company has to come to the vacant mansion to keep things tidy. "He figured it would be for his family. They'd never have to leave, because they would have everything they needed here," Barrett said during a recent tour of the mansion. "Nothing broke his heart more." She said Siegel, who has 12 children, could have easily moved forward with construction but wanted to avoid cutbacks at his company, Westgate Resorts. Requests to interview Siegel were not returned through Westgate Resorts or Barrett. Selling a high-end home is never easy, and that's only magnified in this recovering market. However, Sheri Chase, founder and president of Chase Realty International, has had the listing for a $100 million estate here in Lake Tahoe for about four years. The 20,000-square-foot home on 210 acres of property is owned by Tommy Hilfiger co-founder Joel Horowitz. Chase said "There are only so many billionaires in the world. Who's looking at prices in this stratosphere? Very few people, so patience is key." (Just wait until I get some talent) There also aren't many homes in the U.S. priced so high. The Lake Tahoe estate is the third-most expensive on the market, according to the annual ranking by Forbes magazine. That's only behind a $150 million mansion in Holmby Hills, California owned by Candy Spelling, widow of television giant Aaron Spelling. Another Holmby Hills mansion owned by Suzanne Saperstein, the ex-wife of Texas billionaire David Saperstein, has a $125 million asking price. In 2008, a Russian billionaire bought Donald Trump's Palm Beach mansion for $95 million. Trump had asked for $125 million. The Versailles mansion, inspired by a visit to the real palace near Paris on the Siegel's honeymoon in 2000 (I was there a year earlier, it’s amazing), is currently tied for fifth by price with several others. But it has, by all accounts, the most square footage under one roof in America for a home after the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, N.C. The structure might not look so massive from the front. The foundation sits some 20 feet below the rest of the block — making the entrance to the home on the second floor. Why? Because there's a 47-foot height restriction in the community. In reality, the mansion is 67 feet high. It's not cheap to maintain, either. Taxes alone on the property, if sold at $100 million, would be between $1.45 million and $1.74 million annually, according to the Orange County property appraiser's website. The yearly upkeep also would likely fall in that range, real estate agents said. "It's going to take a very unique kind of buyer to purchase the property," said Carol Ann Hewitt, who has listings for high-end homes in Windermere for Oxford Realty. "I'm not going to say it's impossible, but it could take a while." Besides, who the hell wants to go to Orlando? I don’t golf. However, that mansion here in Tahoe may be something else… I wonder where that’s located. I think it’s on the Nevada side. Hell, it’s probably perched on a cliff overlooking my favorite spot. Wouldn’t that be awesome? Hell, if they need somebody to maintain it while it’s on the market, I may have to update my resume…to go along with the current job and my street entertaining…
Country of Beggars – “Change?” “No thanks. I’ve got enough already.” Ever used that? It’s funny (though a little spiteful) but now there’s an entire country asking for your change. Romania's cash-strapped government is asking for donations to a fund set up to boost budget revenues and cushion the impact of the economic crisis, the finance ministry said on Friday. Earlier this week, the centrist coalition cabinet narrowly won a no-confidence vote in parliament over sharp public sector wage and pensions cuts, key to keeping afloat its 20 billion-Euro aid package led by the International Monetary Fund. "Every person in Romania, except for legal entities, can donate cash into this account," the finance ministry said in a statement introducing its "solidarity fund." When enforced, pay cuts will buy Romania time to reform its sprawling inefficient public administration and counter tax evasion, which should boost budget revenues. But with tax receipts expected to disappoint in the first half of the year, every little bit that can be spared is a help. Officials said the new fund is aimed at public officials who earn additional income on top of regular wages by serving on administrative boards of companies entirely or partially owned by the state (so, people who worked more?). Prime Minister Emil Boc has also said he will donate his wages to the fund (since he already gets a free house, meals & whatever else being Prime Minister), but the account is open to anyone who wishes to contribute. Donations can be made by bank transfer to a special account and a list of donations will subsequently be published on the ministry's website. So if you’ve ever wanted to go onto a government website and see that “Dr Mookie Love, of Funkatron, in the United States donated $20” (or like a thousand Romanian New Leu since they don’t do the Euro) or I’m sure you could do something more personally gratifying like “Joe Loves Rachel donated $10” or even “Romania Blows donated $0.25” but you’d be doing a good thing. However, I don’t know if I can fully get behind this. Why? Well, if I’m going to give you some change, I expect you to at least try a little bit for it. Not just say “Hey, if you could just forward some money to my international bank account, that’d be awesome.” Hell, if you want some real money, just ask the ladies in Reno, you gotta do a little something for it. At least do a little dance, sing a song of my praises, tell me a funny joke, come on. I’ve seen some of your fine Romanian exports. You’ve got some lovely ladies out there. Put a smile on my face & we’ll see that account blow up. Is that so wrong? Well, okay maybe it got a little wrong towards the end…but you get my drift. Earn this money.
Swinging or Pimpin’? – You know, it’s funny how a lot of my little stories transition right into the next so flawlessly. Do I design it that way? Not really. It’s fatidic. Oh that’s a real word. One of my new favorites. Have you ever wondered which method of sexual exploration is safer, swinging or prostitution? Really? Your sexual life is a lot more active than mine then. Well, scientists studying swingers (straight couples who regularly swap sexual partners and indulge in group sex at organized meetings) say they have higher rates of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) than prostitutes. I’m going to repeat that for the cheap seats. According to studies, you’re more likely to get a disease through swinging (or as I like to call it, a four-gy) than if you’re turning tricks a dozen times a night. Think about it. Dutch researchers publishing their work in the British Medical Journal showed that older swingers (those over the age of 45) are particularly vulnerable and yet are a group largely ignored by healthcare services (mostly because they don’t want to think about middle-aged Dutch people having sloppy sex in mayonnaise or something). With estimates that the swinger population could be many millions across the world, the scientists said there was a risk this untreated group could act as an STI "transmission bridge to the entire population." "Although exact estimates are unavailable, the swingers' population is probably large," wrote Anne-Marie Niekamp, who worked on the study with colleagues from Maastricht University. The Dutch study analyzed the numbers of patients seeking treatment in 2007 and 2008 at three sexual health clinics in South Limburg in the Netherlands. The clinics have recorded whether a patient is a swinger since the start of 2007, in an attempt to track infection rates among this group. During the study period, there were just under 9,000 consultations at the three clinics. One in nine of the patients was a swinger, with an average age of 43. Overall, combined rates of Chlamydia and gonorrhea were just over 10% among straight people, 14% among gay men, just under 5% in female prostitutes (God I want to go to Amsterdam), and 10.4% among swingers, they found. And female swingers had higher infection rates than male swingers. One in 10 older swingers had Chlamydia and around one in 20 had gonorrhea. Chlamydia is the most common sexually transmitted disease among women and in 70% of cases causes no symptoms. The bacterial infection can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease, ectopic pregnancy and infertility. Gonorrhea is another bacterial infection which can also lead to infertility if left untreated. Niekamp said that while other high risk groups, such as young straight people, gay men and prostitutes, were relatively easy for healthcare service to identify and target for advice and help, swingers were generally a hidden community. "That makes them very hard to reach," she said in a telephone interview. "Because they are so hidden and in some ways also stigmatized, it is hard for them to come forward for STI testing and treatment." Okay, so just to elaborate, this is in the Netherlands…and their prostitution industry is pretty strictly monitored and I think they have health benefits and stuff like that, which is completely different from here in the States, so don’t go out there thinking every lady of the evening has a 95% change of being clean as a well-used whistle. However, it just goes to show that you can’t really be too careful out there trying to find your sexual thrills. I’ve never done swinging…and as mentioned before, I’m typically old-fashioned when it comes to this stuff…but I’m always down for new things. I guess the moral is, please be careful out there…and use protection…and get checked regularly. I want you all to get your freak on for a long time to come.
Death of the Soap Opera? - On September 17, TV's oldest daytime drama (“As the World Turns” airing weekdays at 2 p.m. EDT until then) will fold. On Wednesday, "ATWT" wrapped production forever. "It's been a job and a home and friendships for 50 years," said Don Hastings, an avuncular, era-spanning presence on the show since literally before Kennedy was shot as he pondered the series' end. "I don't think it's hit me yet." The summer after CBS' "Guiding Light" was cut down after 72 years on radio and then television, the doomsday scenario that has plagued soaps for decades has now claimed "ATWT." ABC's "General Hospital," which premiered in April 1963, will now inherit the title as TV's oldest soap. But who knows for how long? Used to be, at any given time there were a dozen or more daytime dramas on the networks. Soon there will be only six, with only ABC's "One Life to Live" still originating in New York. The ratings for all of them are a fraction of what they once were, and continue in a downward spiral. "ATWT," ranked last, this season is averaging 2.4 million viewers, whereas in the 1991-92 season, it drew 6.7 million viewers, according to the Nielsen Co. "This show was created in the 1950s, and now there are different viewing patterns, different economic models, and we're all fighting a tough fight to stay in the business," said Chris Goutman, "ATWT" executive producer since 1999. "Daytime has been in trouble for a long time, and we're part of that bigger picture. But when was the time that I thought we were fighting a losing battle? Never. I always think we're going to win the battle. But this time we didn't." Last December, CBS made it official, a death decree that, paired with the demise of "Guiding Light," marks the exit of Procter & Gamble's production arm from the soap opera business. This, of course, is a company for which the term "soap opera" was coined in the radio era when it began deploying such shows to advertise its detergent and soap products. Now you know where it comes from. Like many soaps, "ATWT" is set in a bucolic but scandal-beset Midwestern burg — in this case, Oakdale, Illinois. Having always centered on two families (the Lowells and the Hugheses) it premiered April 2, 1956, with mild-mannered Nancy Hughes voicing the words, "Good morning, dear." She was played by Helen Wagner, who was among those seen on that fateful episode the day Kennedy died (it’s on YouTube) and made occasional appearances as recently as this spring. She passed away in May at age 91. Hastings and Eileen Fulton (who joined "ATWT" in May 1960 as the vixenish Lisa Grimaldi) are now the senior cast members. Longevity, of course, is a hallmark of soap operas. Unique in the otherwise mercurial world of TV, the life spans of successful soaps are measured in decades, even generations, not fleeting seasons. Firm bonds are formed by viewers with a soap and its characters, as well as the actors who play them…and keep playing them for nearly half a century. But the question arises, does this mean that soap operas will soon go the way of the dinosaur, the Dodo and the Unicorn? I guess only time will tell…and there’s always Telemundo, which is just fun to watch even if you don’t speak Spanish. You get the gist of it.
Bacon Update with Unicorns – See? Another seamless transition from soon-to-be extinct television formats to thought-to-be extinct mammals. I’m sorry to break your hearts yet again…but it's official: The National Pork Board says it KNOWS unicorns don't exist. Why would the geniuses who brought us such staples of the American diet as bacon, pork chops, bacon, pig’s feet & bacon even mention anything to do with Unicorns a.k.a. Horny horses? The industry group says it was only protecting its trademark when it issued cease-and-desist warning to online retailer ThinkGeek for calling a fake unicorn meat product "the new white meat." The fictional canned meat, described as an "excellent source of sparkles," was an April Fool's prank. But the 12-page letter from the board's law firm was no joke. "We certainly offered our apologies," Scott Kauffman, President and CEO of Geeknet Inc., the parent company of ThinkGeek, told the Associated Press. "It was not our intention to confuse the public as to the attributes and qualities of the two meats." In a public apology this week, ThinkGeek said its nonexistent canned unicorn meat is sparkly, a bit red and not approved by any government entity. "We certainly understand that unicorns don't exist," said Ceci Snyder, vice president of marketing for the National Pork Board. "Yes, it's funny. But if you don't respond, you are opening your trademark up to challenges." The council said it is in discussions with the company. "Where we feel victimized, is I don't know of another organization that does more to promote pork products than our site," Kauffman said, noting the company sells around 20 real items related to bacon, such as bacon gumballs and bacon soap (mmm…that might warrant a search of the website). ThinkGeek "launches" mock products every April Fool's day. The company said it was surprised the board did not raise any concerns about another prank item this year called "My First Bacon" — a talking stuffed toy that looked like a piece of bacon (I think little Vinny’s got a new Christmas present). He said, "To be attacked in this manner, given all we do for pork, the irony is not lost on us." Nor on us, Scott. Then again, copyright infringement is copyright infringement. I’m sure that Unicorn Meat was probably your top seller…but I wonder if anybody actually eats the contents. “Hmm… is that… is that glitter? This looks like spam rolled around on the floor of a rave.” Really? That’s going to make you half-vomit? Didn’t you read earlier when I was talking about the middle-aged Dutch couples in a mayo-orgy? Mmm delicious…
Well, on that note, I think I’ll stop for the day. I know usually I end it with a good joke or a bunch of sexy pictures but… I’m going to see Zepparella tonight!!! What? Sigh… okay, I’ll give you some pictures to get you hyped for the concert too…and get that image out of your head. Have a great night everybody!!!
Whew… Busy time at work, which I guess means job security, and that the days whiz right by, but it’d be nice to have somebody else I could hand off duties to if I, for example, wanted to use my over two months of paid vacation saved up. Oh yeah. You think I was traveling before? Just wait until winter comes back and I’m “forced” to go on vacation by year’s end. Anyway, that’s a little down the road. In the meantime, I had a late night softball game last night. We lost pretty horribly, but I went 1 for 2 with a double and a run…but we had single-digit runs in softball, which is pretty bad. Stoked for the Zepparella concert tonight!!! It should be awesome. Again have no idea what to do this weekend, but there’s plenty of opportunity to get drunk with the Reno Pub Crawl and a Wine Walk at the Northstar ski resort available for a cheap date. Then again, if that’s all I wanted to do, I could just do that at home. Next week my dad & stepmom will be visiting for the 4th of July week. It should be a good time…and I’ve been needing it. Been kinda lonely the past few days…and it doesn’t help that a few of my friends have been feeling the same…but hey, I’m here for them. I kid you not, with work & friends, yesterday I was on the phone from 6 AM to 8 PM, then played softball & had a few voicemails waiting for me when I was done. Though I may be hundreds or thousands of miles away, they know they can call me anytime…and I’m usually pretty good about cheering them up, even when I’m in a less-than-silly mood. I have no idea why I should be feeling the way I do…but I figure it’s probably just hormones or something and will pass in a few days. It is a full moon…and it was gorgeous last night. Anyway, enough of my jabbering, here’s some news…
GOOOOOOOL!!! – Apparently the United States defied all odds and actually WON a soccer game in the World Cup in dramatic fashion (over Algeria) to move on into the elimination tournament of 16 teams. Take that Britain!!! That’s ugh… really all I have on this. There’s more on the link if you want to read on but… it’s soccer. The NBA Draft (aka Christmas) is tonight…so there’ll be MUCH more on that come Friday. Next…
Naked Cowgirl - New York City's famous Naked Cowboy wants a bikini-clad woman who calls herself “The Naked Cowgirl” to stop ripping off his trademark. The Times Square cowboy, whose real name is Robert Burck, is known for strumming his guitar wearing only briefs and a cowboy hat (can I see the patent on that?). He has sent a cease-and-desist letter to Sandy Kane, who wears a red, white and blue cowboy hat and matching bikini. Burck says if Kane's going to make money by posing for photos, he wants her to sign a "Naked Cowboy Franchise Agreement." Most of his licensed franchisees (how many are there?) are required to pay $5,000 a year or $500 a month and go through a screening process. Kane, who is in her 50s (shiver), is a former stripper who's now a fixture of the city comedy scene. Her real name is Sandra Brodsky. She says she doesn't owe Burck anything. He’ll let the courts decide…but I’ve often considered becoming a street performer (as I discussed with Bubbles the other day when her heart was broken about the breakdancers from my latest trip not actually being with DARE, GASP!!!). When you work for tax-free tips, there’s a reason so many people do it. Have you ever trailed a scruffy street performer when they’re done with their gig…and watched them go around the corner…and hop into their Lexus? Oh yes. Think about it. You’re sitting there playing pretty basic guitar riffs and singing the wrong words to “American Pie” and the like for maybe three hours a day…and let’s say on a slow day, somebody throws a dollar into your hat, about once a minute. You just made about $200 tax-free…on a slow day. Yeah! See my point? How many of you out there make less than half that for a full 8 hour day & Uncle Sam gets just as much? Oh, my hand is definitely raised. It’s a twisted world we live in sometimes. Oh well, if you’ve got talent, let it out…and feel free to capitalize on it. God knows I would… but apparently prostitution’s illegal and that’s the realm where all my talents lie. Oh well, I’ll just need to develop some talents…and THEN…
Possible New Home - Listed as a "monument to unparalleled success," the largest home for sale in the United States comes with plenty of space but no carpet, tiles or interior walls. It's up to the future buyer to finish it. The mansion started by timeshare tycoon David Siegel boasts plenty of big numbers like 90,000 square feet, 23 bathrooms, 13 bedrooms,10 kitchens, a 20-car garage, with additional space for two limos, 3 pools, a bowling alley, an indoor roller rink, a two-story movie theater, video arcade, fitness center, even a baseball field and two tennis courts. All that and more for $75 million "as is." There's an option to buy it completed for $100 million (Really? $25 million for furniture?). Nicknamed "Versailles" for the French royal palace that inspired it, the edifice hit the market recently. Construction was halted last year to save money in a recession that proved particularly hard on Siegel's once-booming industry. "This mansion is a great anecdote of the over-consumption that led to the housing bust, and it might be the poster child of such overindulgence," said Jack McCabe, a Florida-based real estate analyst (and worst salesman ever). The unfinished palace at 6121 Kirkstone Lane makes Tiger Woods' place just down the street in this gated Orlando suburb look more like a guest house. It has the square footage of nearly two football fields, is almost double the White House and about 36 times the size of the average American family home. The master bedroom alone, which would have had a rotating bed under a skylight, is twice the size of a standard house. "It's like a living piece of art," said Lorraine Barrett, a Coldwell Banker real estate agent who has the listing. At least it will be upon completion. Instead of stonewalled gates, a chain-link fence with a green covering keeps onlookers out of the 10-acre property. The driveway is overrun with dirt and rocks. Weeds fill the planned baseball field. The home opens into a grand hall with symmetrical staircases and a ceiling complete with a stained-glass dome befitting a cathedral. The rest of the mansion is more an outline with only steel beams, insulation and most of the electrical wiring in place. The two elevator shafts are empty. Stone for the exterior is waiting in boxes that fill the cavernous garage. The Olympic-length pool that will have a waterfall flowing into another pool is a carved-out shell. A cleaning company has to come to the vacant mansion to keep things tidy. "He figured it would be for his family. They'd never have to leave, because they would have everything they needed here," Barrett said during a recent tour of the mansion. "Nothing broke his heart more." She said Siegel, who has 12 children, could have easily moved forward with construction but wanted to avoid cutbacks at his company, Westgate Resorts. Requests to interview Siegel were not returned through Westgate Resorts or Barrett. Selling a high-end home is never easy, and that's only magnified in this recovering market. However, Sheri Chase, founder and president of Chase Realty International, has had the listing for a $100 million estate here in Lake Tahoe for about four years. The 20,000-square-foot home on 210 acres of property is owned by Tommy Hilfiger co-founder Joel Horowitz. Chase said "There are only so many billionaires in the world. Who's looking at prices in this stratosphere? Very few people, so patience is key." (Just wait until I get some talent) There also aren't many homes in the U.S. priced so high. The Lake Tahoe estate is the third-most expensive on the market, according to the annual ranking by Forbes magazine. That's only behind a $150 million mansion in Holmby Hills, California owned by Candy Spelling, widow of television giant Aaron Spelling. Another Holmby Hills mansion owned by Suzanne Saperstein, the ex-wife of Texas billionaire David Saperstein, has a $125 million asking price. In 2008, a Russian billionaire bought Donald Trump's Palm Beach mansion for $95 million. Trump had asked for $125 million. The Versailles mansion, inspired by a visit to the real palace near Paris on the Siegel's honeymoon in 2000 (I was there a year earlier, it’s amazing), is currently tied for fifth by price with several others. But it has, by all accounts, the most square footage under one roof in America for a home after the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, N.C. The structure might not look so massive from the front. The foundation sits some 20 feet below the rest of the block — making the entrance to the home on the second floor. Why? Because there's a 47-foot height restriction in the community. In reality, the mansion is 67 feet high. It's not cheap to maintain, either. Taxes alone on the property, if sold at $100 million, would be between $1.45 million and $1.74 million annually, according to the Orange County property appraiser's website. The yearly upkeep also would likely fall in that range, real estate agents said. "It's going to take a very unique kind of buyer to purchase the property," said Carol Ann Hewitt, who has listings for high-end homes in Windermere for Oxford Realty. "I'm not going to say it's impossible, but it could take a while." Besides, who the hell wants to go to Orlando? I don’t golf. However, that mansion here in Tahoe may be something else… I wonder where that’s located. I think it’s on the Nevada side. Hell, it’s probably perched on a cliff overlooking my favorite spot. Wouldn’t that be awesome? Hell, if they need somebody to maintain it while it’s on the market, I may have to update my resume…to go along with the current job and my street entertaining…
Country of Beggars – “Change?” “No thanks. I’ve got enough already.” Ever used that? It’s funny (though a little spiteful) but now there’s an entire country asking for your change. Romania's cash-strapped government is asking for donations to a fund set up to boost budget revenues and cushion the impact of the economic crisis, the finance ministry said on Friday. Earlier this week, the centrist coalition cabinet narrowly won a no-confidence vote in parliament over sharp public sector wage and pensions cuts, key to keeping afloat its 20 billion-Euro aid package led by the International Monetary Fund. "Every person in Romania, except for legal entities, can donate cash into this account," the finance ministry said in a statement introducing its "solidarity fund." When enforced, pay cuts will buy Romania time to reform its sprawling inefficient public administration and counter tax evasion, which should boost budget revenues. But with tax receipts expected to disappoint in the first half of the year, every little bit that can be spared is a help. Officials said the new fund is aimed at public officials who earn additional income on top of regular wages by serving on administrative boards of companies entirely or partially owned by the state (so, people who worked more?). Prime Minister Emil Boc has also said he will donate his wages to the fund (since he already gets a free house, meals & whatever else being Prime Minister), but the account is open to anyone who wishes to contribute. Donations can be made by bank transfer to a special account and a list of donations will subsequently be published on the ministry's website. So if you’ve ever wanted to go onto a government website and see that “Dr Mookie Love, of Funkatron, in the United States donated $20” (or like a thousand Romanian New Leu since they don’t do the Euro) or I’m sure you could do something more personally gratifying like “Joe Loves Rachel donated $10” or even “Romania Blows donated $0.25” but you’d be doing a good thing. However, I don’t know if I can fully get behind this. Why? Well, if I’m going to give you some change, I expect you to at least try a little bit for it. Not just say “Hey, if you could just forward some money to my international bank account, that’d be awesome.” Hell, if you want some real money, just ask the ladies in Reno, you gotta do a little something for it. At least do a little dance, sing a song of my praises, tell me a funny joke, come on. I’ve seen some of your fine Romanian exports. You’ve got some lovely ladies out there. Put a smile on my face & we’ll see that account blow up. Is that so wrong? Well, okay maybe it got a little wrong towards the end…but you get my drift. Earn this money.
Swinging or Pimpin’? – You know, it’s funny how a lot of my little stories transition right into the next so flawlessly. Do I design it that way? Not really. It’s fatidic. Oh that’s a real word. One of my new favorites. Have you ever wondered which method of sexual exploration is safer, swinging or prostitution? Really? Your sexual life is a lot more active than mine then. Well, scientists studying swingers (straight couples who regularly swap sexual partners and indulge in group sex at organized meetings) say they have higher rates of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) than prostitutes. I’m going to repeat that for the cheap seats. According to studies, you’re more likely to get a disease through swinging (or as I like to call it, a four-gy) than if you’re turning tricks a dozen times a night. Think about it. Dutch researchers publishing their work in the British Medical Journal showed that older swingers (those over the age of 45) are particularly vulnerable and yet are a group largely ignored by healthcare services (mostly because they don’t want to think about middle-aged Dutch people having sloppy sex in mayonnaise or something). With estimates that the swinger population could be many millions across the world, the scientists said there was a risk this untreated group could act as an STI "transmission bridge to the entire population." "Although exact estimates are unavailable, the swingers' population is probably large," wrote Anne-Marie Niekamp, who worked on the study with colleagues from Maastricht University. The Dutch study analyzed the numbers of patients seeking treatment in 2007 and 2008 at three sexual health clinics in South Limburg in the Netherlands. The clinics have recorded whether a patient is a swinger since the start of 2007, in an attempt to track infection rates among this group. During the study period, there were just under 9,000 consultations at the three clinics. One in nine of the patients was a swinger, with an average age of 43. Overall, combined rates of Chlamydia and gonorrhea were just over 10% among straight people, 14% among gay men, just under 5% in female prostitutes (God I want to go to Amsterdam), and 10.4% among swingers, they found. And female swingers had higher infection rates than male swingers. One in 10 older swingers had Chlamydia and around one in 20 had gonorrhea. Chlamydia is the most common sexually transmitted disease among women and in 70% of cases causes no symptoms. The bacterial infection can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease, ectopic pregnancy and infertility. Gonorrhea is another bacterial infection which can also lead to infertility if left untreated. Niekamp said that while other high risk groups, such as young straight people, gay men and prostitutes, were relatively easy for healthcare service to identify and target for advice and help, swingers were generally a hidden community. "That makes them very hard to reach," she said in a telephone interview. "Because they are so hidden and in some ways also stigmatized, it is hard for them to come forward for STI testing and treatment." Okay, so just to elaborate, this is in the Netherlands…and their prostitution industry is pretty strictly monitored and I think they have health benefits and stuff like that, which is completely different from here in the States, so don’t go out there thinking every lady of the evening has a 95% change of being clean as a well-used whistle. However, it just goes to show that you can’t really be too careful out there trying to find your sexual thrills. I’ve never done swinging…and as mentioned before, I’m typically old-fashioned when it comes to this stuff…but I’m always down for new things. I guess the moral is, please be careful out there…and use protection…and get checked regularly. I want you all to get your freak on for a long time to come.
Death of the Soap Opera? - On September 17, TV's oldest daytime drama (“As the World Turns” airing weekdays at 2 p.m. EDT until then) will fold. On Wednesday, "ATWT" wrapped production forever. "It's been a job and a home and friendships for 50 years," said Don Hastings, an avuncular, era-spanning presence on the show since literally before Kennedy was shot as he pondered the series' end. "I don't think it's hit me yet." The summer after CBS' "Guiding Light" was cut down after 72 years on radio and then television, the doomsday scenario that has plagued soaps for decades has now claimed "ATWT." ABC's "General Hospital," which premiered in April 1963, will now inherit the title as TV's oldest soap. But who knows for how long? Used to be, at any given time there were a dozen or more daytime dramas on the networks. Soon there will be only six, with only ABC's "One Life to Live" still originating in New York. The ratings for all of them are a fraction of what they once were, and continue in a downward spiral. "ATWT," ranked last, this season is averaging 2.4 million viewers, whereas in the 1991-92 season, it drew 6.7 million viewers, according to the Nielsen Co. "This show was created in the 1950s, and now there are different viewing patterns, different economic models, and we're all fighting a tough fight to stay in the business," said Chris Goutman, "ATWT" executive producer since 1999. "Daytime has been in trouble for a long time, and we're part of that bigger picture. But when was the time that I thought we were fighting a losing battle? Never. I always think we're going to win the battle. But this time we didn't." Last December, CBS made it official, a death decree that, paired with the demise of "Guiding Light," marks the exit of Procter & Gamble's production arm from the soap opera business. This, of course, is a company for which the term "soap opera" was coined in the radio era when it began deploying such shows to advertise its detergent and soap products. Now you know where it comes from. Like many soaps, "ATWT" is set in a bucolic but scandal-beset Midwestern burg — in this case, Oakdale, Illinois. Having always centered on two families (the Lowells and the Hugheses) it premiered April 2, 1956, with mild-mannered Nancy Hughes voicing the words, "Good morning, dear." She was played by Helen Wagner, who was among those seen on that fateful episode the day Kennedy died (it’s on YouTube) and made occasional appearances as recently as this spring. She passed away in May at age 91. Hastings and Eileen Fulton (who joined "ATWT" in May 1960 as the vixenish Lisa Grimaldi) are now the senior cast members. Longevity, of course, is a hallmark of soap operas. Unique in the otherwise mercurial world of TV, the life spans of successful soaps are measured in decades, even generations, not fleeting seasons. Firm bonds are formed by viewers with a soap and its characters, as well as the actors who play them…and keep playing them for nearly half a century. But the question arises, does this mean that soap operas will soon go the way of the dinosaur, the Dodo and the Unicorn? I guess only time will tell…and there’s always Telemundo, which is just fun to watch even if you don’t speak Spanish. You get the gist of it.
Bacon Update with Unicorns – See? Another seamless transition from soon-to-be extinct television formats to thought-to-be extinct mammals. I’m sorry to break your hearts yet again…but it's official: The National Pork Board says it KNOWS unicorns don't exist. Why would the geniuses who brought us such staples of the American diet as bacon, pork chops, bacon, pig’s feet & bacon even mention anything to do with Unicorns a.k.a. Horny horses? The industry group says it was only protecting its trademark when it issued cease-and-desist warning to online retailer ThinkGeek for calling a fake unicorn meat product "the new white meat." The fictional canned meat, described as an "excellent source of sparkles," was an April Fool's prank. But the 12-page letter from the board's law firm was no joke. "We certainly offered our apologies," Scott Kauffman, President and CEO of Geeknet Inc., the parent company of ThinkGeek, told the Associated Press. "It was not our intention to confuse the public as to the attributes and qualities of the two meats." In a public apology this week, ThinkGeek said its nonexistent canned unicorn meat is sparkly, a bit red and not approved by any government entity. "We certainly understand that unicorns don't exist," said Ceci Snyder, vice president of marketing for the National Pork Board. "Yes, it's funny. But if you don't respond, you are opening your trademark up to challenges." The council said it is in discussions with the company. "Where we feel victimized, is I don't know of another organization that does more to promote pork products than our site," Kauffman said, noting the company sells around 20 real items related to bacon, such as bacon gumballs and bacon soap (mmm…that might warrant a search of the website). ThinkGeek "launches" mock products every April Fool's day. The company said it was surprised the board did not raise any concerns about another prank item this year called "My First Bacon" — a talking stuffed toy that looked like a piece of bacon (I think little Vinny’s got a new Christmas present). He said, "To be attacked in this manner, given all we do for pork, the irony is not lost on us." Nor on us, Scott. Then again, copyright infringement is copyright infringement. I’m sure that Unicorn Meat was probably your top seller…but I wonder if anybody actually eats the contents. “Hmm… is that… is that glitter? This looks like spam rolled around on the floor of a rave.” Really? That’s going to make you half-vomit? Didn’t you read earlier when I was talking about the middle-aged Dutch couples in a mayo-orgy? Mmm delicious…
Well, on that note, I think I’ll stop for the day. I know usually I end it with a good joke or a bunch of sexy pictures but… I’m going to see Zepparella tonight!!! What? Sigh… okay, I’ll give you some pictures to get you hyped for the concert too…and get that image out of your head. Have a great night everybody!!!
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