White House Dizzown

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

Oh I’m so excited for the adventures this weekend for Dizzy’s birthday celebration Part Two (since last week was more family based). I wish I could tell you more… but she reads this thing… and it’s surprises… so tune in next time.

 

In the meantime, we got to see a special sneak preview of “White House Down” starring Channing Tatum & Jamie Foxx. Now, this is not to be confused with “Olympus Has Fallen” which came out a few months ago, but it’s basically the same story from what I understand (have yet to see OHF). Did I mention this was free? Okay, so the story is about a young security officer (Tatum) who just bombed the interview for his dream job with the Secret Service & impress his estranged daughter… but they still get to check out the White House & even meet the President (Foxx). Then a paramilitary group takes over the White House, takes out the Secret Service… and only Magic Mike can save President Django. From the director of “Independence Day”, “2012”, “The Day After Tomorrow”, “The Patriot”, “Stargate”, “Universal Soldier” & “Godzilla” you basically know what you’re going to get. Lots of action & explosions, lots of convenient foreshadowing, predictable characters, one-liners, and plot holes the size of America’s influence… but for an action flick, it was pretty decent. Two movies that kept popping into my mind were “The Rock” (basically a frame by frame storyline replacing Alcatraz with the White House) and “Die Hard” (Tatum’s wardrobe, the daughter in danger, terrorists/hostages, etc) but I definitely don’t put it on the same level as those two. It’s okay… but those are legendary. Okay, legendary is a stretch but you get it. I don’t want to give away any spoilers… but you know it has a happy ending, right? Okay… so… along the lines of “Man of Steel” were there was all this destruction & drama & all the things that were “important” five minutes earlier… and all of a sudden it’s wrapped up & everything’s okay… they fly off into the sunset, daughter in hand, President spitting out jokes… for f**k’s sake, I kid you not, they basically said that world peace was imminent at the end… and I wouldn’t have been surprised if a f**king puppy ran up into Channing Tatum’s lap aboard the Air Chopper One or whatever it’s called. It’s that bad or a story… but hey, it’s an action flick, so you give it a LOT of disbelief. I’d say check it out… and now I have to watch “Olympus Has Fallen” to contrast & compare. Damn it! Anyway, here’s some news…

 

Dino Update - A fossil largely forgotten inside a Chinese museum might actually contain the world’s first bird. Nature magazine reports that the Aurornis xui specimen was technically discovered by a Chinese farmer several years ago. But it had remained unidentified until paleontologist Pascal Godefroit stumbled across the fossil last year in the museum at the Fossil and Geology Park in Yizhou. “In my opinion, it's a bird,” Godefroit, who is at the Royal Belgian Institute of Natural Sciences in Brussels, told Nature. “But these sorts of hypotheses are very controversial. We’re at the origins of a group. The differences between birds and [nonavian] dinosaurs are very thin.” Godefroit and his team of researchers have written a paper on the Aurornis xui that was published in the latest issue of Nature, where it is described as the "most primitive" bird specimen yet discovered. So, why is there a debate on whether the specimen should be considered the world’s first bird? First of all, the Aurornis xui, aka Aurora, most likely didn’t actually fly. “Okay, that’s settled then. What? There’s more? Okay, go on.” Instead, it’s believed its four wings were used to help it glide through forests during the late Jurassic period about 150 million to 160 million years ago. Luis Chiappe, director of the Dinosaur Institute at the Natural History Museum of Los Angeles in California, told Nature that he believes the Archaeopteryx is still the first known “bird” in history, describing Aurora as “something that’s very close to the origin of birds, but it’s not a bird.” In addition, Paul Barrett of the Natural History Museum of London said for now it’s impractical to distinguish which of the two species were in fact birds. "There's such a gradation in features between them that it's very difficult to tell them apart,” Barrett told Science News. Aurornis xui "is certainly an older member of the bird lineage than Archaeopteryx, and it's fair to call it a very primitive bird. But what you call a bird comes down to what you call a bird, and a lot of definitions depend on Archaeopteryx." Nonetheless, Godefroit said the Aurora has hip bones that strongly resemble modern birds. And because the feather fossils are not well preserved, researchers cannot say for certain that the 3-foot-long Aurora was a glider rather than a full-fledged flier. Its length puts it at about the same size as other modern-day pheasants. However, the Aurora is described as having razor-sharp teeth, claws and a long tail that make it sound far more formidable than your average bird. In April 2012, the remains of a giant feathered dinosaur were discovered in China, marking it as the oldest known feathered dinosaur in history. It was estimated to have lived about 10 million years after Aurora. In addition, Godefroit says Archaeopteryx is more closely related to nonavian dinosaurs, meaning that birds would have needed to experience two separate forms of evolution to become the flying creatures they are today. Interestingly, the answer to the debate might lie in the same museum where Aurora was discovered. Godefroit says hundreds of unclassified fossils remain there and at other nearby institutions. “The biodiversity of these small, birdlike dinosaurs was incredible,” he said. So… dinosaurs are interesting… this article, not so much. Kinda sounds like somebody who’s just trying to get into the papers. Like if I were to say to the scientific community, “I’ve figured out that cold fusion thing! You’re welcome…” “That’s great, how does it work?” “Well, it’s not really cold FUSION as you know it… more of a cold fission.” “FISSION? My goodness, I’m… wait… how does that work? That doesn’t really make sense.” “Yeah, totally… because it’s more of a… cold fizzing, that happens readily in nature.” “What?” “Yeah, it’s a cold fizzing beverage… that I have in my hand. Do the Dew, scientists! (Gulp gulp gulp)” “Sir, you’ve wasted our time…” “(Sip) Aaaaah… Yup, totally…”

 

 

The New Woody – Some people just have gifts… burning passions that they want to test their limits on every day & just making amazing things, even if just to themselves. This next story… is about one of those people. Putting all other do-it-yourself projects to shame, a Hungarian farmer spent the winter building a car made almost entirely of wood. That’s right, f**k your Prius! THIS is the green automobile. What did this marvel of engineering prowess have to say about his accomplishment & setting the auto industry on its f**king ear? "I love to work with wood," Istvan Puskas, a 51-year-old from the village of Tiszaors, said in what should be considered the biggest understatement ever. The frame, axles, gears and even the gas tank—which Puskas fashioned from an old beer barrel—are made of wood. The engine (from a Fiat 126), steering wheel (from an old Mercedes-Benz) and windshield are virtually the only parts that are not. "My aim was to make it out of wood as much as possible. A wooden car must be made out of wood." Best part: The wife was supportive… though not how you might think. Puskas' wife encouraged him to build the car… rather than spend the winter at the pub. "There's not much to do here," Iren Puskas admitted. Last year, her husband built a fully functioning wooden motorcycle. Istvan Puskas says he started building the wooden car around Christmas. Hmm… I wonder if elves helped a bit… they’re historically pretty good at twiddling toys. According to London's Telegraph, the vehicle cannot be officially registered, but police allow him to drive it on the village's local lanes. However, Puskas plans to sell it. "I have no place to store it. I have no garage. I have nothing. It can be good for a collector, for somebody who likes nostalgia [and] for somebody who likes to drive slowly." He added that he'll use the money from the sale for his next project: a three-wheeled car. So if you’re interested in purchasing a fully functional wooden car (and you could probably get a good deal from a Hungarian farmer) then reach out to Istvan (I think that’s Hungarian for $teve by the way) by hitting him up on… Face… book… wait, how do you reach him? Sigh… come on journalists!!! If you’re going to bring this story to the masses, then at least give the masses some information. F**king media… oh well, as long as they get paid, right?

 

Tebow Update – After last year’s fiasco with the Denver Broncos & New York Jets, Tim Tebow is back on the field with an NFL team… and best of all, it’s the New England Patriots. The Patriots announced the signing of the former Jets quarterback on Tuesday, six weeks after he was cut by New York and just in time for the start of the three-day Patriots minicamp that runs through Thursday. Tebow practiced with veteran New England starter Tom Brady and backup Ryan Mallett. The newest Patriot wore No. 5, not his familiar 15 (which belongs to Mallett) on his shorts and helmet. The QBs wore red jerseys without numbers. "First and foremost, I just want to thank the Patriots for giving me an opportunity. I'm very thankful," Tebow said on the field after practice. "It's such an honor to be a Patriot and play for Coach (Bill) Belichick and for Coach (Josh) McDaniels, learn under Tom (Brady), and be a part of this very successful franchise." Two people with knowledge of the deal told The Associated Press that Tebow was signed for two years with no guaranteed money. One person says he will make the veteran's minimum salary, $630,000 in 2013, with incentives. The people spoke on condition of anonymity because terms of the deals had not officially been announced. "Anything we do, we feel is in the best interests of the team," Belichick said at a standing-room-only news conference before practice. "We'll see how it goes." Let the media circus begin!

 

Allow me to provide a little recap of the Tim Tebow story for those who may not be familiar. While at the University of Florida, he was an option-style quarterback, won a Heisman & two national championships… but everybody said his style wouldn’t translate to the NFL. Oh… and he’s also basically the 2^nd coming of Football Jesus, devout Christian (like… DE-VOUT!!!), one of the nicest & well-grounded individuals you will ever find, has a movie star smile, a master of the lost art of humility & allegedly a virgin… but still, the NFL is skeptical of that stuff apparently. On draft day 2010, the Denver Broncos took a gamble on him with a 1^st round draft pick under then-coach Josh McDaniels. A year or so passes, coach McDaniels is fired because the team isn’t doing too hot, new coach John Fox steps in, starting quarterback is hurt midway through another disappointing season… and then the backup Tebow steps in… and basically pulls off an amazing string of victories to not only get the Broncos into the playoffs, but give them a win over the Steelers too. Incredible! How was he rewarded for helping save the franchise? They sign Peyton Manning a few months later & trade him to the New York Jets (aka NFL’s 7^th ring of hell). After a horrible year for that franchise, they release Tebow, his future in the NFL is questioned because his style isn’t the norm of the NFL… and now the most dominant franchise of the millennium is taking a chance on him. Also, he’s reunited with the coach that took a chance on him back in Denver, Josh McDaniels, who is now the Patriots offensive coordinator. How does the 25 year old feel about the whole experience? "I'm looking forward to working hard every single day, and getting a lot better, and learning under some great people," Tebow said during his 40-second visit with reporters. "So, that's all I got. But thank you so much and God bless. I'm sure we'll be talking more soon." There is no guarantee that Tebow will still be with the Patriots when training camp begins next month, but if the Patriots keep him, he would have time to develop as a quarterback since Brady holds that job. Tebow even could be tried at tight end, where the status of Rob Gronkowski is uncertain after he had his fourth operation on his broken left forearm on May 20 and faces back surgery this month. Whatever the situation may be with the Patriots, I wish Tim Tebow the best. He seems like a great guy who works hard & just wants to do great things & spread the word of Christ or whatever… and I’d much rather see him doing well than somebody who killed a pedestrian while driving drunk or is a repeatedly convicted woman beater or murderer or coke addict or any other potential Pro Bowler out there in the NFL. You know who you are… Best of luck, Timmy!

 

Coach Kidd – In semi-local news, Oakland born & raised basketball legend Jason Kidd retired earlier this week from the New York Knicks were he spent last season, his 19^th season in the league… and fittingly enough, the same week that former co-Rookie of the Year Grant Hill decided to hang up his pro sneaks. Then came the real news!!! Just a few days later, the Brooklyn Nets hired Jason Kidd as their new head coach, bringing the former star back to the franchise he led to its greatest NBA success. The Nets decided to hire him to replace P.J. Carlesimo despite Kidd’s absence of coaching experience. "Jason Kidd has a long and legendary history with the Nets and with the city of New York," Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov said in a statement. "He has the fire in the belly we need, and has achieved as a player everything the Brooklyn Nets are striving to achieve. We believe he will lead us there. Welcome home, Jason." The move reunites Kidd with the franchise he led to consecutive NBA Finals in 2002-03, when they played in New Jersey. He spent 6½ seasons with the Nets, averaging 14.6 points, 9.1 assists and 7.2 rebounds, and is their career leader in numerous statistical categories. "Jason is a proven winner and leader with an incredible wealth of basketball knowledge and experience," general manager Billy King said. "This will be a natural transition for him to move into the role of head coach, as he embodies the tough, smart and team-first mentality that we are trying to establish in Brooklyn." Terms of the deal that made Kidd the 18th coach in franchise history were not disclosed. The Nets will introduce Kidd on Thursday during a press conference at Barclays Center. It has been an interesting offseason for the Nets franchise. Coach Carlesimo wasn't retained after leading the Nets into the playoffs, where they lost to the Chicago Bulls in the first round. He went 35-19 after replacing Avery Johnson, who was fired in December. The 40-year-old Kidd was considered one of the smartest players in the NBA, which he believes will help him make the transition into coaching. "This is a tremendous opportunity to be named head coach of the Brooklyn Nets, and it's a role I have been studying for over the course of my playing days. Championship teams are built on being prepared, playing unselfishly and being held accountable, and that's how I expect to coach this basketball team." Kidd has a close friendship with Nets point guard Deron Williams and the respect of many in the organization for his achievements as a player. He is second on the NBA's career list in assists and steals (behind the great John Stockton), won an NBA title with Dallas and has two Olympic gold medals… now it’s on to his next challenge. Best of luck, Jason!

 

So with that, have a great weekend everybody & I’ll update you on adventures from this weekend as soon as possible!!!

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

Saturday was Dizzy’s birthday… but the real celebration for her birthday will be next week. Stay tuned for details (it’s a secret & she reads the blog). Besides, this weekend her mom was in town… and her cousin was graduating high school… so it was more about family togetherness than her lasting another year of sexiness. Friday night, I met up for dinner with her & her mom so we went to our favorite $5.99 all-you-can-eat dim sum buffet in Chinatown. What’s the name of the place? Good question. It’s near the corner of Grant & Jackson though. We ate there, then we hung out at her place that evening watching an old TV show from the 90’s.

 

Now, “Due South” is a delightful little show that Dizzy turned me on to… though I swear I’ve seen the end credits before, so it was probably before something I used to watch in the mid-90’s. Anyway, it’s a comedic series about a mountie named Benton Fraser (Paul Gross) who goes to the mean streets of Chicago to look for his father’s killer (pilot) and then decides to stay there with the Canadian consulate. With his trusty wolf Diefenbaker, he pairs up with a local Italian-American stereotype detective and gets caught in all kinds of do-gooder shenanigans. Now, if you’re looking for intense cop drama, you’re not going to find it here… at all… like even a little bit. There are many plot holes, but it’s a fun little series about a sweet, honest, dedicated & infallible mountie and how he just tries to bring a little good & justice to the underprivileged of Chicago. Dizzy has loved it since she was a young’un… and I kinda think she sees a lot of Benton Fraser in me… you know, the whole tall good-looking sweet gentleman superhero thing. Anyway, I recommend checking out at least the first three episodes (the third one “Manhunt” has the great Leslie Nielsen as Buck Frobisher) and if you like it after that… you’re welcome.

 

Saturday, Dizzy went to the graduation while I slept in… we’ll say it’s because she couldn’t get any more tickets but… I’m not complaining. Afterwards though, we met up at California Pizza Kitchen for lunch with the family, then again in the evening we hung out at her aunt’s house for a few drinks & reminiscing… mostly about times before I came around, but it was still a LOT of fun. Sunday was pretty lazy… but that’s why I’m gonna fill you up with some newsy knowledge… and a super movie review.

 

Tuesday night, Dizzy, Angera & I went to see a special preview of “Man of Steel”, the new Superman reboot starring Henry Cavill (“The Tudors”) as Superman/Clark Kent, Amy Adams as Lois Lane, Michael Shannon as General Zod, Russell Crowe as Ja-Rel (bio daddy), Kevin Costner as Clark’s earth daddy, Diane Lane as Clark’s earth mama, and plenty of others in the cast like Laurence Fishburne, Harry Lennix, Christopher Meloni, Richard Schiff and on & on (and a superhot East German actress named Antje Traue, keep an eye on her). From the director of “300” & “Watchmen” Zach Snyder and the writer/producers of the “Dark Knight” trilogy, it was supposed to be a bit of a grittier more realistic Superman… and compared to the latest reboot from a few years ago, it definitely didn’t disappoint. The movie’s story is basically the combination of the original “Superman” (backstory of Krypton, intro of Superman) & “Superman II” (“KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!!!”) but is condensed into a 2.5 hour flick. This turns into the story being told in a lot of flashbacks, quick cuts, and can be a little off-putting & a little confusing at times… but overall, I’d say it was a pretty good flick. There’s a lot of action, some of which is pretty ridiculous & inconsistent… and plot holes abound… but this is Superman. I found it wildly entertaining, great score & tonal setting (I even broke a tear at one point), and the acting was very good. Henry Cavill does a great job of balancing the angsty side of a young Clark Kent with the charm that you’ve come to expect with Superman from the Christopher Reeve movies. Michael Shannon is pretty good as General Zod & the dichotomy of a man who will do anything to preserve his race, even if it means destroying most of it (just go with it) yet really fueled by vengeance at the same time. Amy Adams is cute… as she should be… but really the main thing I had with the movie is the INTENSE fight scenes & global destruction involved… with basically no repercussions. Spoiler alert/shocker: Manhattan (sorry Metropolis?) gets thoroughly throttled over the course of many epic battles… basically to the point of barren wasteland at the end of the final fight scene… yet during the resolution two minutes later, the Daily Planet is back to work like nothing happened. Now THAT’S a cleanup crew. Anyway, I would highly recommend going to watch the movie & I think everybody did a great job with it… but yeah, be ready to suspend your disbelief. P.S. There's a dragon...

 

Gats for Tots – In local news, Strobridge Elementary School in Hayward, California, held a toy-gun exchange program over the weekend, according to a report from CBS-5 San Francisco. Inspired by gun buy-back programs that focus on getting weapons off the streets, Principal Charles Hill felt a similar program for toys made a lot of sense. "Playing with toys guns, saying 'I'm going to shoot you,' desensitizes them," said Hill, "so, as they get older, it's easier for them to use a real gun." Students who participated were given books in exchange for their toy guns. They were also enrolled in a raffle to win a bike, the event's grand prize. CBS-5 spoke with parents who had brought their children to trade in their guns. One mother said she was always against toy guns, but she noted that her son felt left out when he saw the other kids playing with theirs. Some of the guns shown in the CBS-5 report were clearly fake, but others that were exchanged might easily have passed for real weapons. Police Officer Braydon Wilson, who was at the toy-gun exchange to talk to students about safety, told CBS-5 that sometimes kids will paint their toy guns to look like real ones. Other times, owners of real guns will paint the tip of the gun barrel orange to make it appear like a toy, according to Wilson. To sell to children? Hmm… I’m thinking that wasn’t the point of that last statement. The Daily Review spoke with Yih-Chau Chang, spokesperson for Responsible Citizens of California, a group that educates people about gun rights. "Having a group of children playing cops and robbers or cowboys and Indians is a normal part of growing up," Chang said to the Daily Review. "While the intentions are obviously good on the part of the school administration, this doesn't really educate children about guns or gun safety. Guns are used in crimes, but they are more often used in defensive ways, which prevent violent crime from occurring in the first place." So what do you think? Good idea? Bad idea? Personally I took two things away from this… I like the idea of trading toy guns for books to hopefully educate the kids… you know, fill their heads with little bullets of knowledge. Secondly, I also really like the idea of painting the tip of my real gun to orange so that people disregard it until I knee cap ‘em.  Some may say that it defeats the purpose of using a gun as a form of deterrence to coax somebody with an implied harmless gun but… I warned ‘em… they chose to call my bluff… pop-pop… pop-pop-pop-pop. G-u-NIT!!! Haha… sorry, apparently I’m the only one that thinks that’s funny. Well then, how about this next story?

 

Gats for Tots 2: Reloaded - Two would-be robbers met their match on Monday evening when they encountered a brave 10-year-old. (Note that in this story, the child is described as “brave”) It all began around 5:30 p.m. when the suspects, dressed in disguise, knocked on the door of the Brooklyn home. When two teenage girls opened the door, the two men pushed passed them, and headed upstairs, according to the Associated Press. When one of the suspects tried to enter a bedroom on the second floor, the 40-year-old home owner slammed the bedroom door on one of the home invaders arms, causing him to drop the gun. The owner's 10-year-old son grabbed the gun and fired a shot into the wall. One of the suspects fired back, without hitting anyone. The would-be robbers then ran off. Police are investigating, according to the AP story. They say other kids were in the house at the time but did not witness anything. (Jesus, how many kids were in the house?) So yeah, there’s an instance were a child holding a gun may have saved a life, right? Weird… Another brave boy also recently made news for his quick thinking during a home invasion. In Detroit, when burglars forced their way into Jaden Kanka’s home, the 9-year-old heard the intruders talking to his mom and boyfriend in the front of the house. He sneaked out the one-story bedroom window and ran to a neighbor, who called the police. The criminals were still in the home when police arrived and were quickly arrested. Where do I stand on gun laws? Look, if you know how to use them then maybe you should have one, just in case. It’s like an emergency kit in your car. You don’t want to have to use it… but it’s good to know it’s there when you need it. As far as kids with guns? Not until they’ve proven that they can learn to respect it… and even then, when they can afford to buy their own. Just like driving a car.

 

Drones: Taking More American Jobs – Drones are in the news a lot today… for many reasons. They’re being used in strategic threat elimination in wars overseas. They’re assisting with recognizance missions in otherwise uninhabitable areas from the wreckage of a fallen building to a nuclear hotspot at a nuclear power plant. They also remind many of those HK Killers from the Terminator movies & various other sci-fi mischief makers. However, now… in the present… this may be the next big threat to American jobs (such as eliminating strategic threats). TacoCopter turned out to be a fake. So did the Burrito Bomber. But now, the skies, at least in the U.K., have finally opened up to fast food: Domino's Pizza has carried out a delivery order by drone helicopter. Video of the DomiCopter—developed by Aerosight—was posted by T + Biscuits, the creative agency brought in by the pizza chain's U.K. headquarters. The copter reportedly can deliver up to two large pizzas over a four-mile radius in 10 minutes or less (which basically means all of San Francisco or Manhattan). “If anything, it went quicker than a pizza boy," T + Biscuits founder Tom Hatton told Fox News. "We were amazed at how easy it was going to be.” Of course, there are a few caveats about the drone delivery. First, it was not technically a drone mission. While Domino's said GPS coordinates could potentially be used in future delivery flights, this inaugural mission was controlled by an experienced drone copter pilot who had the benefit of several cameras to help guide the flight. Second, drone flights come with several restrictions in the U.S. For example, commercial drone flights are illegal in the U.S. until 2015. Why? You know why… Even then, in most states, drones can fly up to around 400 feet but must have the permission of landowners before entering private property. That could easily be handled by a one-click legal agreement with each online drone delivery order. But for now, the politics and science of drone food delivery remain complicated (and undiscussed really). In the meantime, Domino's U.K. says it will conduct further tests, including whether the drone can handle a larger payload to incorporate items such as 2-liter bottles of soda into future deliveries. Yes my friends… technology is making you fatter faster… and I think it’s great. I still expect my pizza to be cold, look like it’s been dropped a few times & somehow I’m pretty sure even the drone will give me the sh*t eye when I give them the tip.

 
 

Death of a Word – As you may know, I studied German for six years (well over a decade ago) and it has served me well… okay, actually it only came in handy watching “Inglorious Basterds” and other WWII movies… but still, I’m hopeful that one day it’ll help out. Anyway, the German language has one less long word to worry about… and it’s a doozy. "Rindfleischetikettierungsueberwachungsaufgabenuebertragungsgesetz," a 65-letter word meaning "law delegating beef label monitoring," has been dropped following changes to European Union law regulating the testing of cattle, the BBC reports. The so-called "tapeworm" word—common in Germany—was introduced in 1999 during the bovine spongiform encephalopathy (aka "mad cow disease") crisis. But now that the EU has halted testing of "healthy cattle at abattoirs," the BBC said, "the need for the word vanished." With "rindfleischetikettierungsueberwachungsaufgabenuebertragungsgesetz" ousted, the 49-letter  Donaudampfschifffahrtsgesellschaftskapitaenswitwe" ("widow of a Danube steamboat company captain") appears to have inherited the longest-word mantle, though it does not appear in the German standard language dictionary. The longest word found in there is "Kraftfahrzeughaftpflichtversicherung," or "automobile liability insurance." The longest word in the English language is the subject of nerdy debate, mostly over whether chemical terms should be considered words. The chemical name of the largest known protein, for instance, has 189,819 letters. (Last year, a man attempted to pronounce it in a three-hour, 30-minute YouTube video.) Really? Come on now, chemistry nerds… "Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis," a lung disease caused by inhaling very fine ash and sand dust, was the longest word to appear in a major dictionary when it turned up in the Webster's New International Dictionary in 1939. My money is on "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious," a song from the 1964 Disney film "Mary Poppins," that appears in the Oxford English Dictionary. What does that mean? Absolutely nothing. German words are funny… but now we bid… that word, auf wiedersehen (until I see you later… because I’m pretty sure there’ll be another meat-born disease in Europe soon enough & then… that word will come back into everyday lexicon).

 

Bacon Update – Bacon & donuts! Everybody knows that bacon & donuts go together like… like bacon & eggs… or bacon & beer… or bacon & bleu cheese… or bacon & bacon. However, Dunkin’ Donuts wants everyone to have the opportunity to experience its new culinary creation. So the store has decided to begin selling its bacon, egg and doughnut sandwiches at all of its locations beginning June 7^th. The sandwich contains a fried egg and slices of smoked bacon stuffed between the halves of a sliced, glazed doughnut. “The glazed doughnut is light and fluffy and gives you just the right amount of sweetness,” says Dunkin’ Executive Chef Stan Frankenthaler. “Combined with the lightly salted, smoked bacon, the texture and flavors marry together in a wonderful way. It’s a delicious bite of the perfect harmonization of sweet and savory flavors.” And the timing is perfect, as June 7 was also the too-good-to-be-true holiday National Doughnut Day. As it turns out, Dunkin' is not the first operation to produce a doughnut-based sandwich. The Illinois minor league baseball team the Gateway Grizzlies has been selling a doughnut hamburger, using Krispy Kremes in place of traditional buns. The ballpark says it sells 100-200 of the sandwiches each game night for $4.50 each. However, the bacon donut sandwich is not the avalanche of calories some might expect. In fact, it clocks in at only 360 calories, less than Dunkin’s turkey sausage sandwich (390 calories), which is marketed at more health conscious consumers. Then again, we’re talking about comparing Dunkin’ Donuts to Dunkin’ Donuts. Interestingly, food chains that offer lower-calorie dining options saw an 11% spike in sales last year, while those that didn’t saw a 15% drop in sales, according to information released by the Hudson Institute. However, as the AP notes, over-the-top food options have proved incredibly popular as well. For example, Taco Bell said its Doritos Locos Taco has proved to be its most successful item ever, boosting the chain’s overall sales by 8% in 2012 (and that’s some SERIOUS coin for a staple chain like Taco Bell). And if that's the case, the bacon doughnut might just prove to be a strong addition for Dunkin' Donuts, which already generated some $5.5 billion in 2012 across its 7,015 U.S. locations. What’s the point? Bacon sells! And yes… I kinda want bacon egg & donut sandwiches to be part of the next Bacon Day…

 

What’s that? WHEN IS THE NEXT BACON DAY? Well, in honor of the great thespian & Philadelphia’s own Kevin Norwood Bacon’s 55^th birthday coming up in early July (and basically the one year anniversary of the idea), we are throwing the next Bacon Day within the next month. Really just trying to decide between the two weekends before & after… and just in time to introduce two new roommates to the incredible event!!! So if you’re interested, let me know & I’d be happy to send you the details. We’d love to host you & share our delicious treats with you.

 

Aside from that, not a whole lot more else to say, work is work, play is play, tomorrow is another day! Have a great day everybody!!!

Cleandix

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

Well, since last time when I got you caught up on the week with Jackie D, here are a few movies that I watched last week that you may be interested in checking out… or not…

 

First up was “ParaNorman” which is a CGI kids flick from about a year ago I think… but it’s on Netflix now. The story is about a boy named Norman who lives in a city that was cursed by a witch a few hundred years ago… and long story short, he accidentally raises the dead & now zombies are walking the streets. Basically, if you like “Shrek” & “Toy Story” and all those flicks, you’ll probably like this. I’m a kid at heart so I enjoyed it… even though it really wasn’t too memorable other than one of the last lines of the movie – “My boyfriend loves cutesy things like this.”

 

Next up was a documentary called “That Guy… Who Was In That Thing” that was a compilation of interviews from 16 actors who you probably recognize if you saw them… but probably not by name… and basically their respective stories of how they came to be actors, the audition process, experiences in the movie industry, typecasting, and the triumphs & hardships of the life they have chosen. I found it very interesting & being a bit of a movie nerd I kind of knew some things about the process but it was very intriguing to watch. I highly recommend this film for anybody who’s thinking about being an actor… whether to discourage them or just to prepare them for what their goal entails.

 

Next up was a documentary called “Cleanflix” about something that I kind of experienced firsthand while in Utah, the meteoric rise & controversy of Cleanflix & other companies that made “clean” versions of Hollywood movies. Basically, in the early 2000’s, a video store near Provo, Utah made doctored versions of movies that took out violence, sex, vulgar language, drug use & other adult situations and content that many of the customers in their area (Mormons) either couldn’t see because of their beliefs or just didn’t care to see. Thus turning an R-rated movie like “Schindler’s List” or “Saving Private Ryan” into a more palatable PG or at least PG-13 version… and the movie stores were able to sell for a modest fee… and business was BOOMING!!! Well, of course, once Hollywood found out… they stepped in & said they were pirating, destroying their product, copyright infringement & all that… leading to court orders to cease & desist. Well, some of them didn’t… and the battle went on from there. The movie was pretty good… and not gonna lie, it made me a little homesick… at least until they interviewed some of the people & then I remembered why I don’t want to live there. Check it out.

 

Here’s the thing about this movie… as a business man… my question is why the f**k didn’t Hollywood see this as an opportunity? I mean… yeah sure, cease & desist for anybody selling your product without giving you your cut but… if the consumer (in this case, the relatively small demographic of only a few MILLION Mormons across the globe) is saying “Hey, we want to see your movies… especially the ones that we hear about all the time like the Matrix, the Spielberg & Tarantino movies, the action flicks with the big cars & jets and all that… but we just don’t want to have to see torture porn & hear Samuel L. Jackson talks about people who have sex with mothers in a derogatory way. Isn’t there a way that we could do that?” I would think CHA-CHING!!! About a week later I’m setting up my own site for requested DVDs that can be made for not only Mormon eyes… but maybe you’re okay with the love scenes… but just don’t want the gore & blood… or you’re okay with the fight scenes, but just don’t want to hear them swearing during the dialogues. I know, right? “I realize you have to fight to defend your family, but be a gentleman about it for f**k’s sake.” It seems like once the backlog is caught up from past releases, you pretty much already have the system in place for new releases (on the Blu Ray version only of course) and then BOOM!!! You’re riding a Bentley to work like a f**king mogul!!! See, this is why I don’t understand how I’m working a 9-5. I need to get some startup capital and start my conglomerate.

  
 

Next up was a documentary called “Being Elmo” that chronicled the life of Kevin Clash, the puppeteer behind Elmo & many other creations throughout the years. Kevin grew up in Baltimore, Maryland in the 1960’s and from a very young age he knew what he wanted to do… he wanted to be a puppeteer. Even as a child he built his own puppets, developed shows & background stories, and basically by the time that he was a teenager, he was already brought on board programs like Captain Kangaroo & the Great Space Coaster… and then eventually into the Muppet Show & Sesame Street. It’s actually a pretty incredible tale about a man who has an overriding passion to do what he does every day. It felt a lot like “Jiro Dreams of Sushi” but with puppets instead of sushi. It’s an incredible tale & I hope that you’ve all seen it already. My only major problem with it… was that it was narrated by Whoopi Goldberg… and it was awfully distracting because she wasn’t particularly good with it. I’m not saying that it should have been narrated by Morgan Freeman or Oprah or anything but… just not Whoopi. Sorry. Ooh… Fun fact, Kevin Clash was also the voice of Splinter in the TMNT live action movies of the early 90’s. You’re welcome…

 

Lastly, I leave you with the 80’s masterpiece that is “Over the Top” starring Sylvester Stallone & Robert Loggia. Sly stars as Lincoln Hawk, a truck driver who surprisingly picks up his estranged son (maybe 10-12 years old) from military school to drive him across the country to meet up with his mother (dying of cancer or something) & the rest of the wealthy family that raised him. Along the way, two things become clear, one… his son is kind of an arrogant prick… but a little fatherly advise helped with that… a little bit. Secondly, maybe I just didn’t get it. Okay, the character Lincoln Hawk had a relationship with this woman of financial means… they have a child… and then he disappears, presumably because the father didn’t want him around & all that jazz, whatever. Now that the mother is dying… she wants him & his son to hit it off or something… and the father/grandfather (Robert Loggia by the way) doesn’t want that to happen because… well, he’s a f**king truck driver who hasn’t been around for over a decade while the boy was being raised. I can see that. Furthermore, I haven’t even mentioned that Lincoln is also one of the greatest arm wrestlers in the world. Why? Because it really doesn’t matter in all honesty. Okay, so… spoiler alert, the mother dies just before they meet up with her, the son blames Lincoln for not driving fast enough or something, runs off to his grandpa (who raised him & lives in a f**king mansion so… yeah) & Lincoln walks away. But wait, he wants to have a relationship with his son… so what does he do? He goes to see him at the mansion… and drives his truck (his livelihood by the way) through the front gate, through a giant fountain, through the porte cochere & into the foyer of this mansion. Okay so… you’re going to jail, whether he presses charges or not… for destruction of property, reckless driving, attempted vehicular manslaughter, whatever all of the above… also, you just wrecked your $200,000 truck that I’m guessing you’re leasing from somewhere or still making payments on… and also, I don’t know of anybody who’s going to go “Wow, dad just drove his semi into the front room, I guess that means that he loves me… or that he’s bat sh*t crazy.” It’s the latter. So then… Lincoln’s in jail (gasp) & basically the grandpa says leave us be & you won’t rot in jail, the kid’s like “Dad, what the f**k?” but he gets out of jail in time to go to the arm wrestling championships & make it all right… if he can win.

 

Okay… that’s just what I kind of have wrong with this movie up through Act 2… and there’s plenty more that I haven’t brought up, just I feel like I have to have you watching it with me, otherwise all is lost. Act 3 is full or crazy stuff too but… anyway, the movie is pretty horrible… but laughably so. Perhaps I’ll have to do some kind of Adam Carolla inspired “Basic Cable Commentary” for this flick one day because… well, Dizzy seems to think that my blog is pretty amazing (despite viewership being on the low side) and perhaps the way to go is with an accompanying podcast as well. So keep an eye open for that…

 

Also, big news... I'm going to be visiting Utah in July!!! There will be hanging with family... as well as former coworkers kind of having a nice reunion where there will be barbecue & beer & reminiscing about the good ol' days I'm sure. I'm really excited about it... and Dizzy is too because she's going to along for the ride. We're also trying out Allegiant Airlines for the first time. I'm a little curious how that's going to turn out... but we shall see.

 

Anyway, that'll do it for this entry. Have a great weekend everybody!!!

Jackie D in Da House

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Here's a quick breakdown of how the week has gone...

Saturday – Dizzy & I picked up Jackie D at SFO airport then headed straight for brunch at Magic Flute in Pacific Heights. I’ve been here before & it’s a pretty good place… and everybody seemed to like what they got. Next stop was bottomless mimosas at Café Avellino (not just good for pizza) so we put down a few decanters while catching up & kind of plotting out the week as far as what we wanted to do.

 

After drinks, we wandered over to the Palace of Fine Arts where Dizzy told us of an exhibition of fellow students from the Academy of Art. The exhibit is located in the former building for the Exploratorium (they moved a few months ago) and was very interesting… here are some pictures…

 

After the exhibit, we checked Jackie D into the Hotel Adagio, which I had never seen before but was actually a very nice place. They just underwent a pretty major renovation & it appears to have paid off well. Reasonably priced too… and they apparently hooked her up with a nice view since she was staying for a week (and Game recognize Game of course).

 

Sunday – Though Jackie D had spent a few months living in the city, she really didn’t get to see much of the surrounding area. About the only trip that she took was our road trip to LA the weekend before she left. So the next few days, I was pretty much determined to show her some of the beauty of the Northern California area. First stop was a quick three-hour road trip to Lake Tahoe. Along the way, listened to Jay-Z which I guess is kind of our road tripping thing… for LA it was “The Blueprint”, for road trip from Vegas to the Grand Canyon it was “Watch the Throne” and for this one “The Blueprint III”.

 

Our first stop was Fifty Fifty Brewery for some fine ales & chicken wings. The weather was absolutely gorgeous. Sun was out, not a cloud in the sky, gentle breeze through the pine trees, good stuff. First stop after lunch was The Ritz-Carlton, Lake Tahoe to show her how the other half lives… and now she wants to go back to spend a few nights.

 

The next destination was “My Spot” which is featured on half of the postcards for Lake Tahoe (the other half being Emerald Bay) and basically when I was living in Truckee, it was my place to go & just reflect on things, whether sunny day, sunset, snow, whatever. We grabbed a couple of tall boys along the way & just relaxed on the beach, putting our toes in the sand. She tried the water but… it’s late May, so you can easily see how the water is snow runoff.

 

Next was a stroll to a few places along the main road of Truckee (Donner Pass Road) for food & souvenirs. Jackie D bought a nice placard for herself that read “Be a Lady & Drink Whiskey”. Chu’ch! The drive back was right around sunset so we got to see that in the distance through the foothills & conifers. It was a pretty amazing day.

 

Monday – We (Dizzy, Jackie D & myself) went on another road trip to Sonoma in the heart of Wine Country. We again stayed at the beautiful Renaissance Lodge at Sonoma (shameless plug for a great property) and spent the remainder of the daylight going to various wineries for tastings. First up was Gloria Ferrer, which you may recall from our previous trip with C-Real. The tasting area is on a nice patio overlooking their vineyard & we enjoyed a few flights. The weather on Monday wasn’t great… but hey, even bad weather in wine country isn’t that bad.

 

Next stop was Jacuzzi Winery and we ended up buying a bottle of their chardonnay. Now, I know what you’re probably thinking… “$teve, you’ve talked about drinking this whole extended weekend… involving road trips… and you also think that drunk drivers should be tarred & feathered. Just to be clear, am I missing something?” Yes, you are. I drink responsibly 99.9% of the time… and I’m blessed with the ability to realize when I should absolutely not be driving a motor vehicle even when I’m well within the legal standards. However, I’m a large man… these drinks were consumed at a snail pace over many hours… there was a lot of walking in between… but you don’t want to hear about all that. Trust me, I got this.

 

Next stop was a little tasting area for Keating Vineyards… and yeah, it was okay… just a small space in a little strip mall kind of area with sculpture gardens. After that, it was getting to be dinner time… so Dizzy had to go to work but Jackie D & I went to Sonoma Square for some beer & food at Murphy’s Irish Pub. We had some of their 50-50 sliders (half beef, half bacon), shepherd’s pie & pulled pork sandwich. All were pretty excellent.

 

Next we went to a place called HopMonk a few blocks away and basically watched Game 4 of the Western Conference Finals to see my San Antonio Spurs complete their sweep of the Memphis Grizzlies. It was a pretty good game but the Spurs just proved too much for them, similar to the previous three. After the game, we stopped by a frogurt place & decided to walk back to the hotel (about a mile). Then the weather turned a bit & it started to rain… only a light drizzle… but because I hadn’t break my coat, my t-shirt was basically soaked when we got back. After that, we split the bottle of chardonnay from Jacuzzi & watched a little TV until Dizzy got back after work.

 

Tuesday – We had breakfast at the hotel’s restaurant… and it was decent. They know how to poach an egg & cook a pancake but nothing to really write home about. Then we were off for a little drive through Wine Country. We hadn’t gone outside of Sonoma on Monday so we took a little scenic drive out to Castillo di Amoroso to have a wine tasting in the castle’s dungeon… er, wine cellar.

 

Next stop was Sterling Vineyards to take the tram to the top, see the view, drink along the way & then drink more in a seated area. Here are some more pictures…

 

Afterwards, we ate some barbecue at Buster’s & started to head back to the city. The only catch was… apparently so did everybody else, so traffic was pretty ridiculous… on a Tuesday? Really? Oh well. That just meant that we pulled off at Merryvale Winery for another tasting for about an hour while we waiting for the streets to clear a bit during rush hour (and they were open until 6 PM). The server & I knew a few of the same people in my company so we chatted briefly about that & enjoyed some fine wine in their place. Here are some pictures since it’s pretty much the only new one that we ventured to…

 

The best part about Wine Country is the experience while you’re drinking wine. Whether it’s a unique atmosphere like a castle… or a beautiful overlook of the valley while you sip… or riding a train through the Napa Valley… or clever conversation with a server… or just trying all of the different kinds to find what flavors you prefer… with the proper preparation, you can really get into the “wine culture” & enjoy yourself there. As long as you’re responsible in your travels & plan accordingly, you can have an amazing time in one of the pristine portions of the world. Dizzy & I have talked about opening a winery with our Scrooge McDuck-like masses of money but even if we can just visit in the meantime, it’s not a bad deal. I highly recommend it.

 

Wednesday – Back to work & of course there was plenty of work to be had upon my return. On top of the usual was a unique situation where I had to prepare for a coworker’s birthday party. “$teve, you know you have Lady’s birthday, right?” “Yup, next Tuesday, right?” “Actually… she’s leaving for vacation on Friday so… we kind of half to do it tomorrow.” “OH! Oh… okay… I can ugh… Totally… Yeah, I’ll get on that. Sorry, thought I had the weekend to prepare.” Luckily, my lovely ladyfriend Dizzy made a delicious chocolate mint cake with vanilla cream frosting (all I really know about Lady was her favorite ice cream was mint chocolate chip, so thought that would work) & some of ladies from work offered to help with decorating her office Thursday morning… so she was taken care of… and I got caught up on work for the most part. TEAMWORK!!!

 

After work, I met up with Jackie D at Rickhouse for some pre-movie drinks as I had scored some free preview passes to “This is the End”. However, apparently Jackie D had been there for about 3 hours… and she hadn’t eaten… and she was being bought drinks… so she was a little plastered when I met up with her. I didn’t even think that was possible. I had seen her put away booze that would destroy men twice her size… but alas, she was a little faded. No worries, I had a drink with her, then immediately took her to get some greasy food (Pizza Pomodoro’s personal meatlovers… she had most of two of them by my design) & then we went to the movie theatre just in time for the 7 PM start. About ten minutes in though, it was hitting her pretty hard… so she had to excuse herself. Long story short, she ended up going back to her hotel to rest.

 

It’s too bad because “This is the End” was the latest from Seth Rogan & Evan Goldberg (“Superbad” etc) and starred the likes of Craig Robinson, James Franco, Jay Baruchel, Jonah Hill, Danny McBride & basically half of Hollywood. The story is that Jay comes to visit Seth in LA (by the way, they all play themselves or version of them) and they decide to go to James Franco’s housewarming party. All of young Hollywood is there… drinks & drugs are being consumed… and then… the Apocalypse happens. The worthy are drawn up to Heaven, while everybody at the party is left to Hell on Earth. Now those left have to survive… and the gang posts up at James Franco’s house. It’s the usual R-rated comedy that you’d expect with a lot of celebrity cameos… but yeah, pretty hilarious though REALLY risqué humor. Luckily it fits my demographic quite well for a few cheap laughs. It’s not going to win any awards but I recommend it for a cheap fix.

 

After the movie, I took a cab home & relaxed by myself. Not for too long though, because I had an early morning planned.

 

Thursday – Up before 6 AM to head to work early & decorate a coworker’s office, but we got it done… and she loved it… and everybody loves Dizzy’s cake. After work, I met up with Jackie D and we headed over to Occidental Cigar Club because she had mentioned that she was looking for a cigar the previous day (while a little intoxicated) and found one of the few smoker-friendly environments in California. You know… non-marijuana smoker friendly. Good time, smelled like an old hunting lodge… clean whiskey & dirty livers… what you’d expect.

 

After a smoke & a drink, we headed over to Irish Bank for some grub, more beer & the first half of the Heat-Pacers in the Eastern Conference Finals to determine who was going to lose to the Spurs in the finals. Shepherd’s pie, Reuben sandwich, potato skins & beer… and good times were had. However, after dinner, I had to play the part of party pooper & head back to the apartment to meet the new roommate (and it had been a long day anyway).

 

Okay, so I got back… Batgirl had all of her stuff packed & placed in the living room… then she & Pixie were watching “Star Trek: The Next Generation” (the one with the Native Americans being moved from their planet apparently) and then the new roommate (Char Char) stopped by drop off some of her things with her boyfriend… so basically the living room was full at that point. Though not nearly as full as when I moved all of my stuff in during the overlap back over two years ago. She seems nice though it was really in & out. I’m excited… but a little sad to see Batgirl move on. Oh well… that’s how it goes.

 

Friday – After work, I met up with Jackie D & we went bar hopping a little bit. We filled up on Chipotle & a few beers (don’t hate) and then ended up at Bourbon & Branch for some cocktails in a speakeasy atmosphere. We actually hung out there for a few hours and… let’s just say scotch based drinks were my thing this evening. For about the last hour, I chatted up with the bartender while Jackie D wandered the room & met up with some young gentlemen. About the time Dizzy got off of work, we met up at Rickhouse… and Dizzy & I politely excused ourselves so that Jackie D could do her thang. Honestly I was kinda feeling like a 3^rd wheel anyway… and I was buzzing pretty good.

 

Saturday & Sunday – Basically we just chilled respectively… Dizzy & I at my apartment, Jackie D at the hotel, we watched movies… and the ones that I saw will be on a future entry. Sunday morning, I drove Jackie D out to the airport, we said our goodbyes & already trying to figure out how we’re getting to the Maldives next year. Neither of us realize that it was in the Indian Ocean so it’s not really a hub for Delta or anything. I’m sure that we’ll figure out a way though. It was a great week having her around… and she got to relax a bit, which she really needed. Until next time Jackie D…

 

That was pretty much it… fantastic week with friends… hope you all enjoyed reading about it a tenth of what I enjoyed doing it. Have a great day everybody!!!