Birthmonth Update

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Well… I’ve been slacking on this blog. There’s no other way around it. I’ve been busy with work & activities… and my last entry had a lot of pictures… and I have a girlfriend now… so yeah, time is in shorter supply than usual. Let’s see… I think the DMV & becoming an official Californian was the last update… so let’s go from there. Last week started with Monday’s celebration for our softball team (from six months ago) and our 2^nd place finish. We went to Jillian’s in SOMA… and basically had a few beers, snacks, played some pool & caught up with coworkers from the different departments that we don’t see regularly. It was a fantastic time… and Jillian’s is a nice place. I highly recommend it for a chill night out.

Wednesday night was the Gotye concert with Bubbles, her new beau & a few of their friends at the Bill Graham Civic Auditorium. Now, I hadn’t heard of Gotye until Bubbles told me about the concert… but the kid has some skills. His big hit right now is “Somebody That I Used to Know” which is incredibly catchy but most of his music (I think he played the whole album) was pretty good… and of course, the company was great, which is always good. Again, I highly recommend seeing him in concert while ticket prices are somewhat reasonable.

Thursday night was a going away party for one of my coworkers at the Bubble lounge near Jackson Square (the one here in SF, not New Orleans). The atmosphere was very chill & it was a bunch of my coworkers with a magnum of champagne, some bites & a few drinks afterwards… and it was a fun time. We all kind of bonded reminiscing about songs that came on there… and then sharing our prom songs, big songs when we were in high school… and even first skate date songs (yeah, some of my coworkers where big in the early 80’s). Afterwards, a few of us went to the Irish Bank for some more moderately priced snacks & beverages… and basically my dinner was about a pound of cheese & a liter or two of alcohol. Not too bad. I highly recommend the snacks at Bubble Lounge though. They had some great sliders & bruschetta.

Friday was kind of the catch up night with regards to laundry, cleaning the room, dishes and… I’ll admit it, catching up on a few shows. For example, holy sh*t if you haven’t been watching “Couples Therapy” and the magical transition & story that is DMX… then you need to get on that. The man is going through some REAL sh*t right now… and being a huge fan, I’m happy for him… but I’ll tell you right now… he cried like a man does when he finally reaches “that point” and… it’s heartbreaking. That’s all I’m going to say, you’ve gotta check out the rest… and Wednesday is the newer episode… and it looks like it’ll be EPIC!!! He meets up with his mama…

Saturday was hanging out with Dizzy. We started by going to the Ferry Building’s Farmers Market because we were promised a celebration of goats… which meant the possibility of petting a few & getting our pictures taken with some cute delicious goats… and hopefully some kabob & goat cheese as well. Well, we had the cheese & there were long lines for the meat… but we could not find any baby goat photo ops. Perhaps the market crowd spooked them or something & they had to leave early… I got some good cheese though so not a complete loss. After that, we went to the Cherry Blossom Festival in Japantown… and that was a lot of fun & gorgeous weather… and we found a plethora of nerdy things in the various shops & stores to make it worth while. Including what we spent the late evening hours watching…

First up was “Fantastic 4” but not the one that you’ve all seen & probably wretched about. No… this is the one before that… made in 1994… but looks like it was made in the early 80’s. This is the movie that was produced on a budget of about a million dollars… and produced by Roger Corman… but was also done so that the studio could retain the rights & was never released to the public because it was so god-awful. I’m not joking. Google it. Anyway, this bootleg gem was found at the Cherry Blossom festival so I thought that I would purchase it at a reasonable price & check it out. Fun fact: I consider myself a bit of a movie buff… and I didn’t recognize any of the Fantastic 4… but I did notice a few of the bit character actors in the first five minutes of the movie. One was George Gaynes, who is most popular for being the father figure of “Punky Brewster” and the commandant of the “Police Academy” franchise. He was a professor for about 43 seconds. Also, there was a pre-teen girl named Mercedes McNab playing a young Sue Storm-Richards… but you may recognize her more as the spoiled brat blonde girl from the “Addams Family” movies. I know I did. She was in there for about a minute. Yeah. THEY were the big stars of this comic book franchise movie. Anyway, the movie was pretty bad… in the most amazing ways. I recommend watching it with friends because otherwise you’ll hate yourself… but don’t expect anything to make sense.

Next up was a 1974 TV movie version of “Wonder Woman” starring a blonde bombshell as Princess Diana. Yup, not even a brunette… and even worse, IN FULL OUTFIT WITH LONG SLEEVES & PANTS!!! That’s pretty much unforgivable from the get-go. However, there was one slightly redeeming quality to it. For the first hour or so of this movie… the evil mastermind is shown in a way to hide his face & identity somewhat… but anybody who’s cool know who it is from the beginning. Blah blah blah plot blah blah… then the big reveal as the “nemesis” is…. KAAAAAAAHN!!! Okay, so more specifically, the Great Ricardo Montelban… and basically, he just such a smooth mother f**ker in the last 10-12 minutes of the movie… that you almost forget that Wonder Woman is there except for the occasional lifeless stare as he’s talking. Anyway, it was interesting for a TV movie made nearly 40 years ago… but yeah, watch the Linda Carter series if you want a REAL Wonder Woman.

The third selection from the festival was a title I bought simply because of the title… “Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS” which I’m sure was the inspiration for the Rob Zombie parody trailer “Werewolf Women of the SS” in Grindhouse. I was watching it with Dizzy & Batgirl… and spoiler alert, the movie STARTS with a warning saying it’s based on actual events over a speech from Hitler… and then about 14 seconds in, you see for first bare-chested sex scene… and then about a full minute later, it’s first torture-execution… so within two minutes the movie was turned off due to the company I was watching it with. Pure snuff film I guess… but I’ll let you know how it is… or maybe I won’t. I did pay for it… I might as well check it out.

Sunday, I spent most of my waking hours helping out Meals on Wheels at their annual fundraise at Pier 48 (was Fort Mason last year) and as usual, it was a LOT of fun… and they raised nearly $2 million to help out those in need… so win-win baby. After that, I met up with a friend from SLC who was in town for a drink downtown & we caught up. Good times.

Lastly this week was "The Sitter" which is the latest from Jonah Hill where he plays a man-child who babysits some interesting children so that his single mom can go get her swerve on (yup, that's the story) and shenanigans ensue when the gives he regularly gives mouth sex to is drunk enough that she actually wants to have intercourse. That's really all you need to know about the story. It's funny at times... questionable at others... but yeah, were you expecting Adventures in Babysitting? Check it out if you'd like.

 

Birthday is mere hours away & I'll be celebrating with work (of course) then the Golden State Warriors season finale against the great & powerful San Antonio Spurs... then Friday, more work followed by karaoke jam... so yeah, good start to my 32nd year. Have a great weekend everbody!!!!

Turning Paper into Wine

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

Sonoma & Napa Valley were pretty amazing… and the company was too. After work on Friday, I picked up C-Real & Dizzy and we drove to the Renaissance Lodge at Sonoma, and it’s a gorgeous luxury lodge set up with cottages & a full service spa that I would HIGHLY recommend to anyone. The weather was absolutely perfect all weekend as well. Not too hot, not too cold, just a little wind, lots of sunshine but a few clouds to keep from roasting. Very nice. That afternoon, we started with a tasting literally outside the parking lot of the hotel at Cellar Door. The gentleman there was very nice… and pretty lenient with the portions of the wine. He was rewarded with a purchase of a bottle of Gewurztraminer.

After the sips, we took the hotel shuttle to Sonoma Plaza, the heart of the city of about 12,000 lucky people where they have a number of bars, restaurants and tasting areas as well. Fun fact: There’s an Occupy Sonoma movement at City Hall… and it’s basically two guys who have their flags & signs… and a permit from 4 PM to 5 PM on Fridays to protest… and then go to the bars afterwards. Now that’s a movement that I can get behind. Anyway, we went to La Plaza Bistro for a few drinks, then Murphy’s Irish Pub & Grill for some great food (burger that was half beef, half
bacon) and horrible music… but still good times. After that, it was back to the hotel for a dip in the hot tub with some people that we instantly hit it off with & gave us some great tips for the weekend on where to go. We celebrated the great vacation so far with that earlier mentioned bottle of Gewurztraminer.

Saturday we drove out to Napa & visited five different wineries. We started with Silver Oak…

Then across the street to Groth Vineyards, which would end up being one of our favorites… we also made a purchase…

Next was Robert Mondavi with some wonderful art on display and just a beautiful setting…

Then we headed to Sterling Vineyards where they have a tram that takes you up to the winery, then a pretty intricate tour with stops along the way for tastings… and then a final sit-down tasting. This one was probably my favorite just because it was the full experience of touring a vineyard (without smashing grapes) but Groth was definitely my favorite wine…

Next, we decided to get some dinner at Buster’s Barbeque where I had some decent pork ribs & macaroni salad. The prices weren’t even that bad either. On the drive back, we picked up some snacks & breakfast at Raley’s and basically spent the rest of the night relaxing at the hotel again. This time at the hot tub were some of the most shallow people I have ever met… they were apparently “popular girls” back home in Pennsylvania… and were basically just talking sh*t on their friends, you know, typical girls weekend stuff… but I just didn’t care for it… even if they were cute & in bikinis. The hot tub was great though… so I did stay for a bit.

Easter Sunday, we went to a cluster of four wineries that were open on this most confusing of holy holidays and tested their reserves as well. First up was Gloria Ferrar Caves & Vineyards, which offered a beautiful view of Sonoma Valley…

Then Cline Cellars, where one server seemed kind of pissed, another was admittedly hung over & a third was an absolute sweetheart… and also plenty of wine was given…

Then Viansa where they offered some affordable antipasti with their selection which really helped to bring out the flavors as well…

Last was the Jacuzzi winery… and yes, they’re THAT Jacuzzi family. So which came first? The wine or the tubs? The wine did. Now you know… hot jetted tubs came were begat from cold grape juice vats…

Then we headed back to the apartment… and the ladies took naps.

Monday after work, we went to La Mission for some Spanish tapas and to have an evening of dancing & wanderlust. We ate at Picaro, which you may remember from when Jackie D & I hit up the Mission over a year ago. Great food & sangria… and this time, there was even a mariachi band. After dinner, the ladies got a little weary of the neighborhood & most things seemed to be closed… so we headed back to the apartment for a few drinks and some TV. Not exactly a big blowout by any means… but yeah, still a lot of fun.

Tuesday after work, we went to get C-Real a tattoo at Lefty’s (no joke) and then followed that up with a delightful Taco Tuesday at a pretty nice place called Azucar Lounge… where we enjoyed some fine beverages & $10 all you can eat tacos. The atmosphere was really nice too so I may definitely be going there again. Anyway, here’s a picture of C-Real’s tattoo… and it’s a Ghanaian symbol meaning… I’m not sure exactly… but enjoy…

Wednesday was basically the day that I caught up on some rest because I really needed to after the week before… but then Thursday was my trip to the DMV to become an official Californian (also with my 31st birthday coming up, my license was about to expire). So… here’s my suggestion about the DMV. There should be some kind of high paying government job that turns this department into an efficient machine. I know, I’m far too brilliant for what I do & it’s amazing that nobody has ever thought of this before… but it would just make things so much easier. Also, if you tell me that there already is a job similar to what I’ve described, then I think that person needs to have a boss give him a serious review… because he’s f**king it up pretty badly.

I had my appointment set for 10:35 AM because it was the earliest that I could get. I arrived around 9:45 because, you never know, maybe they’re a little slow & it never hurts to be early. Apparently the system was down earlier in the morning… and they were catching up. However, at the time they were only about 30 minutes behind… and seemed to be catching up. Well… long story short… I was there until shortly before 2 PM because the system was on again / off again… and there was just a lot of standing in line to wait for your appointment… then to get to the next line for an attendant… then to get the next line for your photo… then to get in the next line for your driving test… then to take a test that is completely retarded & tricked. Now, I’ve been driving for over 15 years… so I know my sh*t. However, when you ask me a multiple choice question such as this… and keep in mind, only one choice is correct:

Q: When in the slow lane (furthest to the right) on a multi-lane highway, you should:
A. Expect oncoming traffic from the merge lane on the right
B. Drive slower than the lanes to your left
C. Allow cars to merge into your lane from the right

All three of them are correct… yet only one of them is the right answer. Usually it’s just two of them that are correct… but yeah, f**k the DMV. So then after taking the test… you stand in line for one guy to review all of them. One guy… and he isn’t exactly the most efficient guy either… and he’s also giving out the test from the line before you… and believe me, you can’t turn him on answers. “So what you’re saying is… I should only yield to pedestrians if they’re in the accordance with crosswalk statutes? Can I have your business card? Because when I run over a jaywalker or
a blind man, I may need you for my criminal defense.” Oh… so then after standing for over four hours (because I’m a gentleman) and all of that… then I had a day at work to catch up on… so that was fun too.

Luckily I got out of there before 8 PM… and then basically went to sleep watching “Adventures of Tintin” which was pretty good. I definitely recommend it. Funny thing about this movie though… is the whole two-hour movie… is basically summed up in the two-minute credits. Anyway, it’s based on the comic by French illustrator Herge and is about a young reporter & his dog that stumble upon amazing adventures. This one involves a pirate captain curse, buried treasure, international espionage, evil masterminds & a journey all over the world. Think a CGI version of Indiana Jones… starring someone from an Archie comic with a quaff. Check it out… from the
legendary filmmakers Steven Spielberg & Peter Jackson.

Anyway, that’ll about do it for today. No real plans this weekend… maybe the Cherry Blossom Festival but that depends on the weather. Next week is pretty packed with a few work parties, a Gotye concert, and working with Meals on Wheels again. Then the week after that starts the birthday week… complete with a Spurs-Warriors game, karaoke jam with friends & coworkers, and who knows what else? Have a great weekend everybody!!!

Day at the Races

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

This weekend was a lot of fun. Saturday, I watched some great Final Four action, then went to Escape from New York Pizza, which at night turns to King Kong Bar. Now… allegedly they were having a reclaimed art show with ukulele performances… and they had reclaimed art & plenty of artsy folk, so when Dizzy & I met up we enjoyed a few beers & some conversation. However, the musical act was… I don’t want to be mean but… it was a girl playing three chords through a horribly tuned amp & so… luckily we had been there a few hours and had beers & pizza already… so we kindly excused ourselves, headed to Dizzy’s and watched “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang” for a few hours. Always a fine choice.

Sunday, I hitched a ride with my roommate Pixie & a few of her friends… and we met up with Dizzy a few more at Golden Gate Fields for a good old fashioned day at the horse races. We also dressed to the nines in suits, dresses & big fancy hats. What’s that? You want proof? Well here’s the Troof…

Now, I had never gambled on the ponies before… so I wasn’t exactly sure what terms like Trifecta, Quintella, Place, Show, and all the others meant… but luckily they had information abound & the people that took your money were pretty good about explaining it too. How good were they? Well, I won a few bets and it more than paid for my admission, parking, about six beers, three sodas, two hot dogs & a round of beers for the party so… yeah, it really helped that it was dollar days but it still worked out pretty good… and of course we had a good time chatting it up & discussing our gambling methods from going with the best odds to going with the best names to going with the Gut. My approach… not gonna lie… it was mostly names. Favorite one yesterday: My Little Morgan.

Afterwards, the carful of us drove back to Daly City… but the bridge took a while… and two of us had to pee really bad by the time we got through (did I mention the six beers & three sodas?) so we pulled off the first exit & went to the Greyhound station. Fun fact: They have a security guy for the bathrooms at the bus station… and even if you’re dressed in a f**king suit, he will direct you to public restrooms that he KNOWS are closed on a Sunday. F**k him… so we tried another business that was open on a Sunday (about 1 in ten are in the Financial District) and they denied us… so we did the appropriate thing… and urinated in a dark corner in broad daylight… dressed to the nines. Why? Because the system is f**king broken… and I probably would’ve caused quite the scene if anybody tried to stop me at that point. They probably would’ve had to keep their distance for a while for fear of super soakage. Anyway, why do I share that story? Public service announcement… get it together downtown San Francisco.

After that, we continued out to Daly City to our destination… the In-N-Out Burger and Krispy Kreme that share a parking lot… yes, still dressed to the nines. We dined, enjoyed the sunset, then drove home to a night of Sunday evening television (season premier of Game of Thrones & season finales of Shameless & House of Lies among them). Twas a great time. I highly recommend the races if you get the chance… especially on dollar days. I think it’s most Sundays, check it out!

Monday night, I watched the men’s college basketball championship… and as expected, Kentucky won. I’m sure my buddy P-Knight is lovin’ it wherever he’s at in Florida somewhere (UK alum). The game was pretty good… but it was pretty clear from the start that the Wildcats were going to dominate… even though I don’t think one person on their team is old enough to buy alcohol… but hey, it’s one & done university. Congratulations on winning it all so that you can go pro next year & make some real money (none of that booster stuff).

Tuesday night was the women’s championship between Notre Dame & Baylor who was going for the first ever 40-0 season in college basketball (helps when you have a 6’8” center who ominates). What’s that? You didn’t know about Baylor’s historic run? Why do you think that is? Do you think they had even half the ratings that the men’s championship got? Did you fill out a bracket for the women’s tournament? Fun fact: All four #1 seeds made it to the women’s final four. Can you tell me where the women’s final four was this year? I’ll give you a hint, I used to live there. What am I trying to say? I’m just sayin’… congratulation to Baylor on closing out the perfect season… even if very few people watched. It was actually a pretty good game.

So yeah… that’s pretty much it from the past few days. C-Real is coming to visit for the weekend & we’re going to tear up Sonoma County and I’ll show her how the West Coast lives… cuz you & I know it’s the Best Coast. From Oakland to Sactown, the Bay Area & back down… Have a great day everybody!!!