Matt, Kim, D'Joun, Jacquiski & lots of Shaqs

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

Friday night Izzy & I bottled our SMaSH Ale… it’s pretty fantastic & smooth… and beautifully clear too…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday, we hung out with Izzy’s friends with Tim & Kate… and we spent some time in Japantown, including a stop by a place called Pika Pika which was a bunch of Japanese photo booth… with highly customizable features… and it’s ALL in Japanese. Crazy… fun… check ‘em out… but since I don't have copied yet... here are a birthday card that I got from Filly & some sushi that we had for lunch...

 

 

 

 

Saturday night, we headed over to a concert at the Warfield (beautiful venue by the way) featuring a warmup band called Waters… and they were pretty good… but the feature was a band called Matt & Kim. As the name would imply, they’re two people… Matt who sings & plays keyboards like he’s Gene from Bob’s Burgers with lots of sound effects including hip-hop horns & bomb drops… and then there’s the drummer Kim… who is an absolutely solid ball of f**king energy who slams away at the drums for hours, gets up, stands up on the drum during the interludes to get the crowd into it, and even goes out and dances ON THE CROWD!!! I had never heard of this band… but they’re just f**king amazing… here are some pictures…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday, we met up with Brandi & Cody to see “Big Trouble in Little China” on the big screen in Daly City… and as you may remember, this is probably Izzy’s favorite movie… and Cody had never seen it before. I’ve reviewed the movie before… but it’s one of those movie where… as an adult… if you’re seeing it for the first time… f**king mind-blowing with just how crazy everything is… and Cody did not disappoint with his reactions, very in line with Kurt Russell’s character (Jack Burton) in the movie… classic… go check it out…

 

Saturday night, we had our annual dinner at Pinole Creek… and here are some pictures of the creek & the great food…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also over the weekend, the NFL Draft finished up… and now I’m going to completely skip the picks by the teams (except that UofU cornerback Eric Rowe is now an EAGLE!!! YEAAAAH!!!) and instead… I’m going to review their names… that are often hilarious to me… and judge their parents. There were a few interesting first names in the first round like #1 pick Jameis, #9 pick Ereck (not Eric or Erick) Flowers, #17 pick Arik (again, not Eric or Erick) Armstead, #32 Malcom (not Malcolm) Brown, but there are some others:

 

25. Shaq Thompson – He is the first of FOUR Shaqs drafted this weekend… Thompson, Mason, Riddick & and if you look back 22 years, Shaquille O’Neal BLASTED into the scene… and so this all makes sense… and I’m actually okay with it… let the Shaqs REIGN!!!

 

Breshad Perriman

Laken Tomlinson

Dorial Green-Beckham

Benardrick McKinney

Hau’Oli Kikaha

Jacquiski Tartt – WTF? Really?

Denzel Perryman – Not the only Denzel drafted either… ’93 was a good time for Denzel Washington too…

Maxx Williams – A receiver with two x’s for a double dose of this targeting?

Senquez Golson

D’Joun Smith – Yes… like the delicious mustard

Jaelen Strong – Can’t believe he lasted to the 3^rd round… steal of the draft for Texans, I think

Hroniss Grasu

Jamon Brown – “Jamon!” like Michael Jackson…

Tevin Coleman (and Mitchell in later rounds)

Owa Odighizuwa

Geneo Grissom

Jalston Fowler

Arie Kouandjio

Ibraheim Campbell

Ramik Wilson

Za’Darius Smith

Kwon Alexander – I had to look… “Jerry Maguire” didn’t come out until ’96… but NOT the only KWON this draft either…

Martrell Spaight

MyCole Pruitt – As opposed to YourCole…

Mykkele Thompson – As opposed to Mychal Thompson, former #1 NBA draft pick

Tyeler Davison

Neiron Ball

Deiontrez Mount

Kyshoen Jarrett – Yes, Keyshawn Johnson was a thing 22 years ago…

Tayo Fabuluje

Kaelin Clay – U OF U!!!

JaCorey Shepherd

Quandre Diggs

Obum Gwacham

Reshard Cliett

Kristjan Sokoli

Da’Ron Brown

Ifo Ekpre-Olomu – SHOCKED that the Eagles didn’t pick up this Oregon alum…

Taurean Nixon

Xzavier Dickson – Xzzzzzz…

Denzell Goode – Told you there was more than one… and this guy has two L’s

 

 

Anyway, that was our weekend… Spurs lost Game 7 on some pure bullsh*t in LA so… their season is done… so I guess, go Warriors! Wednesday night, Izzy & I are going to see a special screening of probably my most highly anticipated movie of the summer: “Mad Max: Fury Road” starring Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron & a sh*t ton of badassery!!! Have a great day everybody!!!

Assault on Shadow Warrior's Island

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

This week, we watched a few movies… and a pretty odd mix to be honest. First up was a movie that I had never heard of somehow called… well, that’s probably why I had never heard of it. See… this mid-90’s TV movie stars wrestling legend Hulk Hogan, Mayyun movie icon Carl Weathers, former Playmate of the Year Shannon Tweed, and the Cobra Kai sensai (legend Martin Kove) as a bleached blonde wisecracking superscientist… and it’s called “Shadow Warriors”… or “Assault on Devil’s Island”… or “Assault on Death Mountain” depending on when & where you’ve heard about it… and IMDb is very fuzzy on the why. Basically it’s the story of a mercenary team whose leader (Hogan) who recognizes a biochemical warfare terrorist from his past… and they uncover a plot to attack… SEATTLE!!! Only one team can stop this from happening… and it’s Hulkster, Apollo Creed, Kreese & Tits McGee! The movie… is exactly what you expect… with lots of poorly choreographed fight scenes, cheap special effects, but… I’ll admit, the acting though over the top at some points… really isn’t THAT bad. It’s a MAYYYUN movie… in fact, it seems like Sylvester Stallone saw it a few years back and thought, “Yo, I could make a movie that brings back a bunch of old action stars as a team of mercenaries that… WHERE’S MY PHONE???” Anyway, this movie is kinda hard to find (I actually got it from a Goodwill for $4 with shipping) but if you can find it… check it out if you’re into the genre… and feel free to watch it with friends. Not going to lie though… I may have dozed off halfway through it… but I was still kinda hung over from Steve-toberfest…

 

Next up was an Italian movie that Izzy HAD TO WATCH for her Italian class… and it was PERSONALLY RECOMMENDED BY THE TEACHER. What movie was it? Well, it was described as the greatest Italian horror movie ever made… and it’s 1985’s “Demons” from legendary writer/director Dario Argento (think the George A. Romero of Italy). The movie is about a group of people who go to see a horror movie in a West Berlin movie theatre called Metropol. Those in the crowd are the usual people you would expect in this kind of movie… the sweet virtuous young lady, her whore friend, the two guys trying to bang them, other teenagers, an older crotchety couple that shooshes those around them, the creepy staring redheaded usher, a pimp and his bitches, a blind man, his horrible assistant, the random bald Italian guy that she starts getting a consensual fingerblasting from in the back row… you know, the usuals. The movie starts… and then a few minutes in things start getting out of control… as zombie-style DEMONS start killing people & possess them… while the remaining humans struggle to find a way out of the theatre that has become their TOMB!!! Now… the premise is pretty good, right? Let me tell you… the whole movie is actually pretty decent for a horror flick. Yes, the acting is horrible… the dubbing is okay but still dubbing… but basically, if you’re a fan of the horror movies of the 80’s, you MUST see this movie. The effects are pretty good & gruesome in the classic Italian slasher style… the whole world is in the “what the f**k is going on?” realm so you really have NO IDEA what’s going to happen next because… you know, it doesn’t have to make sense… it’s a horror flick… with zombie-like demons… and punks doing cocaine out of Coca-cola cans… and you have to love a movie where the pimp is the most rationally minded individual in the whole thing… so yeah, definitely check it out… with your friends… like RIGHT NOW!!!

 

Wednesday night, Izzy & I went to Presidio Theatre for the first time (tiny hipster venue with three screens, but not bad) to watch a special screening of an indie comedy called “Adult Beginners” starring Nick Kroll, Rose Byrne, Bobby Cannavale and a slew of cameos including Joel McHale, Jane Krakowski, Bobby Moynihan, Mike Birbiglia & Jason Mantzoukas. The story is about a narcissistic entrepreneur (Kroll) who has a big tech venture fall through at the last minute, so now he leaves NYC to go crash with his sister’s (Byrne) family in upstate NY for a while to get his sh*t together. While there, he slowly reconnects with his family who he hasn’t really talked to in years… until drama happens. That’s all that I’ll really say about that. Basically, like a lot of indie comedies that don’t get wide releases, the movie fluctuates from hilarious spots to borderline emotional overload (did I mention drama?) but it’s expertly done where you barely notice… about midway through the 2^nd act, you’re pretty much pulled into the family drama… but of course, you’re still laughing when appropriate (and sometimes not). I’d highly recommend checking it out if you can find it in your neighborhood… or just put it on your Netflix queue when it’s released. May not be worth the $15 per person (then again, what really is?) but definitely check it out.

 

Thursday night was the NFL Draft’s first round… and I was actually kinda surprised how accurate I was:

 

1.        Tampa Bay – Jameis Winston – QB from Florida State – I was correct, everybody was correct… no real thrill here.

 

2.       Tennessee – Marcus Mariota – QB from Oregon – I had a bunch of scenarios where Mariota was basically going to be the pick… but not Tennesee… and I’m sarcastically shocked that is was all bullsh*t and the Titans drafted a quarterback after they realized they don’t have one. Shocked, I tell you!

 

3.       Jacksonville – Dante Fowler – LB from Florida – Again, totally called it… but I can see this going like Dion Jordan two years ago… by which I mean it could be a REALLY bad pick down the road.

 

4.       Oakland – Amari Cooper – WR from Alabama – Ah-hem… four for four… and I was pretty proud of this one… as I predicted the Raiders being the Raiders…

 

5.       Washington – Brandon Scherff – Guard from Iowa – The guy that I figured the Racists to pick here didn’t even get picked in the 1^st round because of apparently marijuana & character issues (Randy Gregory) that happened since my guesses… but they figured that they’d try to protect their quarterback. Great idea.

 

6.       NY Jets – Leonard Williams – DE from USC – May end up being the steal of the draft… even though the one thing that the Jets already had… was two Pro Bowlers at the exact same position that Williams plays… but hey, whatever… the Jets aren’t worth even guessing. Sorry Vick (if you’re still there in a month…)

 

7.       Chicago – Kevin White – WR from West Virginia – Yet again, HE SHOOTS HE SCORES!!!

 

8.       Atlanta – Vic Beasley – LB from Clemson – HOLY SH*T!!! I MUST BE A WIZARD!!! Only one surprise thus far… this NEVER happens with my NFL picks… like EVER!!!

 

9.       NY Giants – Ereck Flowers – Tackle from Miami – They picked their favorite tackle from the draft as predicted… though the guy I thought they would had a last minute QUESTIONING INTO THE HOMICIDE OF HIS PREGNANT EX-GIRLFRIEND & WHETHER HE’S THE FATHER in the days leading up to the draft so… yeah, this other guy slid in. By the way, I do want to mention that La’el Collins (the other guy) is NOT a suspect… they just want to talk to him. Does anybody else remember Rae Carruth?

 

10.   St Louis – Todd Gurley – RB from Georgia – Okay, didn’t see them reaching for a RB this high…

 

11.   Minnesota – Trae Waynes – DB from Michigan State – No one cares... but probably a good pick to help out their defense… and he’s kinda local.

 

12.   Cleveland – Danny Shelton – DT from Washington – I had them picking Shane Ray but… again, marijuana & other issues came up last minute... so they went with the guy that I completely forgot about… but good pick. Anyway, this is where it gets a little weird… but I’ll sum up…

 

15.   San Diego – Melvin Gordon – RB from Georgia – They traded up to get the 2^nd best RB on the board after St. Louis surprised everybody with Gurley’s pick.

 

18.   Kansas City – Marcus Peters – CB from Washington – Apparently the Chiefs just don’t want receivers… unless they’re planning on converting Marcus?

 

19.   Cleveland – Cameron Erving - Center from Florida State – They already have two good centers! Why draft a 3^rd? Maybe move him to guard… but you need EVERYTHING EXCEPT A CENTER!!!

 

20.   Philadelphia – Nelson Agholor – WR from USC – Jaelon Strong from ASU was on the board… but… apparently Chip Kelly has a thing for USC & Oregon… and I give up on trying to make sense if his plan… I’ll wait until the season starts…

 

32.   New England – Malcom Brown – DT from Texas – Sigh… this is why the Patriots always seem to win… they replaced future Hall of Famer Vince Wilfork with… 21 year old Vince Wilfork. Sigh… FOOTBALL!!!

 

We’ve got a superbusy weekend coming up… but more on that later… have a great weekend everybody!!!

NFL Draft Guesses

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

As many of you know, I’m a big football fan. Not nearly as much as basketball (my first Love) but it’s still pretty noteworthy. The past few years since I disconnected my TV (for a multitude of reasons) I haven’t been able to see as much as I usually do… but I keep abreast with what’s going on the NFL and even some college here & there… so here are just my thoughts on what’ll happen in the NFL draft in a few weeks… as usual with my draft predictions… this is just how I would do things if I were a GM… but there’s a very good reason that I’m not a GM for a pro football team… as you’ll see below. Oh, looks like commissioner Roger Goodell is making his way to the podium now…

 

1.       Tampa Bay – Jameis Winston – QB from Florida State – This one is pretty much a lock… former Heisman winner, from Florida, on a Florida college team, picked by a Florida pro team, who desperately needs a quarterback. I have to laugh whenever you hear commentators question picking somebody because of off-the-field issues (outside of felonies, of course). I believe it’s basically to cause controversy… because look at the top two quarterbacks being picked apart, you have the charismatic, out-going, outspoken at times Winston… and then you have the quiet, reserved & realistic current Heisman-winner Oregon QB Marcus Mariota. Both are criticized for being either too braggadocio & confident… or too quiet by not feeding into the bullsh*t… and yet, when you step on the football field, who gives a f**k as long as you make plays & influence your teammates at that position? Also… what’s the happy medium that their basing that on? John Elway, Joe Namath & Joe Montana were pretty f**king cocky… Peyton Manning is f**king everywhere… Tom Brady talks sh*t on the field but all the right things in the press conferences… I’m pretty sure that Jay Cutler is retarded based on his mannerisms… what? Are you looking for Andrew Luck’s demeanor? Trent Dilfer has more Super Bowl rings than he does. Anyway, he’s gonna be the first pick. Period. Would’ve been last year probably too. The reason you have the #1 pick is probably because your quarterback sucks (or was injured all year, shout out to Indy).

 

2.       Tennessee – Leonard Williams – DT from USC – Now, this is where the draft REALLY gets interesting! Tennessee has the number two pick… and obviously needs a LOT of players to be relevant again. Yes, their current quarterback situation consists of a guy who couldn’t even start on his college team (Zach Mettenburger) but at least looks like a QB… and that’s only after a guy that was never really good & I can’t understand for the life of me why anybody thought he was ever good, even in college, because he absolutely sucked every single time that he played surprisingly retired at the age of 26 out of the blue (Jake Locker)… so it would make some sense to pick Oregon QB Marcus Mariota at this spot. However… since they have so many other needs… I’d consider trading the pick. Look, I’m a believer in Mariota & think he could really be great… but I know it’s not going to go well for him when he doesn’t have an offensive line that can protect him, people to throw to or a decent running back to help take the burden of him to learn the pro game. Also, he’d better get used to losing wherever he goes… as he’s never really felt that at Oregon. Basically, here’s the top three scenarios I see with the #2 pick here:

 

a.       If they keep the pick, I think they go with the Leonard Williams who’s being compared to Warren Sapp and will tremendously help their waning defense and be an anchor for them for a long, long time on his way to the Hall of Fame (only slight exaggeration?)

b.      They make a trade with the NY Jets so that the Jets can pick Mariota… and the Titans get their 6^th overall pick to use as they wish and maybe even something like Jets QB Geno Smith or another key player who could start immediately… or at least like a 3^rd round pick. I don’t know, I’m obviously not a GM but that seems fair.

c.       They make a trade with Cleveland so the Browns can pick Mariota… and the Titans get the 12^th & 19^th picks… and again, maybe another guy who could start for the Titans. Seriously, what’s QB Johnny Manziel going to do if the Browns pick Mariota? Throw him in maybe? The only problem is… I don’t see the Titans really wanting him over any prospect later on the 2^nd round or 3^rd round or something… this is just my guess. Basically, Mariota is in demand for some teams& this is the prime position to get him ahead of everybody else.

 

3.       Jacksonville – Dante Fowler – LB from Florida – I’m not going to lie… I’ve never seen this guy play, only a few highlights. Why? Because the Gators have sucked since Tebow left mostly… but also again, I just haven’t had TV the past two years. However, I understand that this guy is supposed to be a great 3-4 LB/DE guy who always has high draft priority nowadays… and after guys like Raiders LB Khalil Mack wrecked through the league last year, this seems like a pretty good fit for Jags coach Gus Bradley’s system… so I’d say go for that. They already have their QB for the next few years in Blake Bortles from last year (again, Florida kid goes to Florida college to Florida pro team) and they need a lot of help to be relevant… but this is probably their best bet… unless of course trading down, but that’s unlikely.

 

4.       Oakland – Amari Cooper – WR from Alabama – I just want to state that this is what I THINK will happen, based on team needs & tendencies. The Raiders… are always a surprise. I think the Khalil Mack pick last year was the first time in a decade that I just didn’t go “what the f**k?” when the Raiders made their top-10 pick… so basically anything they do will more than likely be “out there” but probably WIDE out there… like a wide receiver… and the best one in this draft is Amari Cooper. It’s really between him and Kevin White from West Virginia… who’s taller & bigger than Cooper, more in that Calvin Johnson, Randy Moss mold of big play deep route running receivers that the Raiders always want (as most teams in the NFL but nobody else was going to pick Darrius Heyward-Bey in the top 10 EVER!). So why do I think they’ll pick Cooper instead? Because the Raiders are unpredictable… but the reason I like him over White is that yeah, he’s a little smaller… but he’s still fast & stout and has great hands… he’s also a proven winner… and he’s more in that dependable Jerry Rice, Marvin Harrison, Andre Reed, Tim Brown mold of receiver… not the biggest, not the fastest, not the strongest, just the best & most determined. Roll Tide… to the other side of the Bay.

 

5.       Washington – Randy Gregory – LB from Nebraska – I think they’re best pick would be to solidify their defense with the best player available… and that’d be this guy who can play defensive end or linebacker depending on the scenario. I’ve only seen the highlights… but he looks like a beast.

 

6.       NY Jets – Marcus Mariota – QB from Oregon – Again, if they don’t work some trade out with Tennessee for that #2 pick, this is really the latest that I expect Mariota to last. There’s a lot of talk out there about him dropping to the Eagles at #20 (which I’d LOVE) and the Jets not really looking for a QB because Geno Smith was two years ago… but I think that’s all BS so they can grab him at #6 like last year Teddy Bridgewater went from consensus #1 pick to #32 based merely on speculation. He’d be a good fit for them too… because he’ll probably have to run for his life all year unless they upgrade their offensive line & the people around him.

 

7.       Chicago – Kevin White – WR from West Virginia – Brandon Marshall is gone… Jay Cutler is still a pussy… and he’ll need people to throw at… so Kevin White (or Cooper if they switch picks) would match up well with Alshon Jeffery to form quite the young receiver duo for Da Bears.

 

8.       Atlanta – Vic Beasley – LB from Clemson – They need defense… so I’m down to either him or a big linestuffing defensive lineman like Danny Shelton from Washington… but I’ll give it to a more local flavor like Beasley (Clemson is in South Carolina, a few hours from Atlanta).

 

9.       NY Giants – La’El Collins – Tackle from LSU – I assume they’ll want somebody to keep their QB Elisha Manning from being destroyed… and I’m told he’s the best out there… seriously though, what do I know about offensive linemen though? I know you want them BIG but nimble… but even then, it’s just a rolled ankle away from being Tony Boselli… sigh… what could have been?

 

10.   St Louis – Dorial Green-Beckham – WR from Oklahoma/Missouri? – This kid has been in some issues since being the star receiver of the SEC two years ago… including getting kicked out of Missouri… transferring to Oklahoma… getting kicked out of there… but he’s still 6’6” and basically has most of the upside of a potential star troublemaking receiver in the Randy Moss, Dez Bryant, Terrell Owens mold without the wear & tear of playing college football… so I see somebody desperate for a receiver boost to take a gamble on him. If the Rams don’t take him as high as #12, then he’s definitely not getting past Kansas City at #18. Both teams need a LOT of help on wideouts… and a deep threat like this will help out QB Nick Foles get used to the Rams offense, paired with speedster WR Tavin Austin.

 

11.   Minnesota – Brandon Scherff – Guard from Iowa – I have no idea if they’re going to have “disgraced” superstar RB Adrian Peterson next year… but they’ll still want to protect QB Teddy Bridgewater and run the football from time to time… so they’ll probably go with the best lineman available… or possibly a receiver, but my money’s on the offensive line.

 

12.   Cleveland – Shane Ray – DE from Missouri – There’s no way they pass on Mariota if he’s still available here… but I don’t see them using a first-rounder on another quarterback… but probably their early 2^nd rounder on one of those 2^nd tier QB prospects. They just need help all around… and if Shane Ray falls this far, I can seem him anchoring their defense for a while.

 

13.   New Orleans – Bud Dupree – LB from Kentucky – Not going to lie… this pick is mostly because of the name. Can you imagine? Bud Dupree as the anchor of the New Orleans defense? It just rolls off the tongue so naturally… even better than Bobby Boucher! Also, he’s a great athletic talent, 6-4, played in the SEC, all that stuff… probably not a bad pickup honestly.

 

14.   Miami – Marcus Peters – CB from Washington – It’s either him or Trae Waynes from Michigan State but Miami needs help in its secondary… and since I don’t know much about either from watching them play, I have to go with highlight reels & who the “experts” say are best. First secondary player off the board…

 

15.   San Francisco – Andrus Peat – Tackle from Stanford – Sweet Jesus, is anything sadder than the mass exodus from San Francisco the past few months? All of their linebackers retiring, their coach going off to coach college, a handful of players that’re going to be suspended yet again… if Dupree, Beasley, Gregory, Fowler, Ray or any other possible linebackers are still available at #15, I’d say they go for one of them if just to stop the bleeding… but since they’re all picked on my board, why not go with the Stanford behemoth who can help QB Colin Kaepernick get back to not sucking? Then again, he may be gone earlier too… and that would just suck… the Niners need help… and I still have faith in Colin, I’ve been a HUGE fan of his since the Reno days… but it’s gotta be tough.

 

16.   Houston – Landon Collins – Safety from Alabama – Not sure why I’m going with this guy… but big safeties are a priority in the league now (as they always should have been since I’ve been yelling since I was in junior high that you can probably take giant out-of-work receivers & place them in your secondary to incredible results!!!) and he’s supposed to be the best. Alabama just makes good pro players. Fact.

 

17.   San Diego – Todd Gurley – RB from Georgia – I see the Chargers as the team that’s going to bring back the 1^st round running back selection… and it’s really between Gurley & Wisconsin RB Melvin Gordon who goes first. For Gurley, you have the guy who’s blown his knees & has his off-field issues… but when he does play, looks like a grown ass man playing against children most of the time. For Gordon, he’s the hard-working spark plug kind of back who just consistently finds holes & broke all the NCAA records… but it’s at Wisconsin… and they own all the rushing records since nobody else even tries anymore, they just pass-pass-pass at all other schools. Name the last great Wisconsin quarterback. I thought so. So that’s basically the argument… 50-50 shot on the next Bo Jackson? Or the steadfast Curtis Martin kind of running back? Interesting choice to be made…

 

18.   Kansas City – Devante Parker – WR from Louisville – Again, KC needs receivers… and if Green-Beckham isn’t available here, then they might make a reach for another highly prospected receiver like Parker.

 

19.   Cleveland – Jaelen Strong- WR from Arizona State – I’ve seen this guy play a few games… and I’m always baffled by how little people talk about him as a pro prospect. He’s huge, he’s got great hands, he’s dominated big games, he’s a Sun Devil receiver… and anybody who’s seen football and/or “Jerry Maguire” knows about Sun Devil receivers… and yet most experts are like “eh, second tier receiver… could be a good pro… maybe…” and I’m like WATCH OUT! THIS GUY’S A POTENTIAL BEAST! Anyway… Cleveland needs a few good receivers since Josh Gordon can’t get his sh*t together… but also it won’t matter if nobody can give them the damn ball…

 

20.   Philadelphia – Trae Waynes – DB from Michigan State – I would LOVE for them to get Strong if he’s around… but they’re OK at receiver for the moment I guess… they could also go for a big guy on the offensive or defensive line… but they REALLY need help in the secondary… so go with the best available… and he’s used to playing in the cold weather too, being in East Lansing the past few years. Also, I have no idea what the Eagles are doing with their transaction this past little while so… not even going to try to explain it… just believe in the program.

 

21.   Cincinnati – D.J. Humphries – Tackle from Florida – Probably going to with the best lineman available… they’re pretty solid elsewhere.

 

22.   Pittsburgh – Danny Shelton – DE from Washington – Not going to lie… kinda forgot this guy was still around but he could definitely be the new anchor for the Steelers defense for the next decade if he drops this fall. There’s a split where experts think he’s a top-10 pick… or late first-round… but here’s the fact… he’s HUGE!!! Like… potentially dangerous to himself & others huge… so there’s health risk involved… but this is football, there’s always a health risk involved… and defenses like the big space-eaters in the center of their defense. Absolutely last spot he’d be picked… is here at #22 by the Steelers… but probably earlier…

 

23.   Detroit – Arik Armstead – DT from Oregon – Again, space eater… and they have a big void to fill after Ndamakong Suh finally got p-p-p-p-p-paid! They tried filling it temporarily with aging Haloti Ngata, but it’d be great to have this guy take some of the load off the veteran while also learning the ropes. Just a thought…

 

24.   Arizona – Melvin Gordon – RB from Wisconsin – TWO running backs in the first round? Surely I’ve gone MAD!!! Look… it’s a good fit… they need a run game to open up their passing game… why the hell not? They almost made the playoffs last year… and the Niners are definitely set to tumble… so yeah… this could be the year of the Cardinal?

 

25.   Carolina – Cedric Ogbuehi – Tackle from Texas A&M – Taking the best lineman available… and this guy’s pretty good… and I think I’m just going to cut off my predictions from here… everybody else in the first round is just going to go with either the best player left… or the best player for their system… that’s why they’re on top, right?

 

Anyway, these are my “bold” predictions for what will happen… and we can revisit them after the draft… or more appropriately in a few years when we can really dog my picks… or exhault my Nostradamian skill for telling the future! Have a great day everybody!!! Yay football!!!

Booze, Broils & Ballers

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,


Wednesday night, I was invited to a special Don Pilar Tequila tasting by a coworker at The Four Seasons at the bar MKT. The bar was pretty nice, packed & overpriced as it should be I guess… but the best part of all… hanging with coworkers… and THE Don Pilar was there, cowboy hat & all. No, I didn’t take pictures… but the tequila was decent. It’s not my favorite form of alcohol… as we have a bit of a bad history… but it’s pretty smooth… and I really liked the aged stuff, so give it a try.


Thursday night, Izzy & I were originally going to attend a special Scotch Tasting at a restaurant by her place called 938 Crawfish, which is a boiled seafood place specializing in crawfish, shrimp, clams, mussels, sausage & the like… boiled with Cajun spices. What’s not to love? We’d wanted to try it for a while but it seemed a little pricy for a weekend lunch or something… then there was word of this Scotch Tasting… and Big Ben was going to go… so we decided to go. Well, the Scotch tasting was $30 each… and I enjoy my Scotch from time to time… but I hadn’t eaten first… and I can get the whole f**king bottle a block away at BevMo for less than $30… so after not seeing Big Ben there (not sure how as he says he was there) we decided to just do the Combo Boil with a few beers… and it was pretty incredible. Also, with tip & everything, we easily walked out of there for less than JUST the tasting. We will definitely be going back there.


Thursday night was also Round One of the NFL Draft. Now, I bore you to tears with my analysis of the NBA Draft (Basketball Christmas) every year… but there were a few things about this one that I wanted to just go on record as saying.



• The Houston Texans picked DE Jadeveon Clowney with the #1 pick… and yes, he’s an amazingly gifted athlete & it was pretty much a no-brainer… as long as he keeps his head in the game. I’m assuming the millions of dollars for what he was doing for free in South Carolina will do that. Great pick.

• The St. Louis Rams picked up 700 pounds in the first round with LT Greg Robinson & DT Aaron Donald… and I really like both picks. You can’t teach big… and hopefully they’re both athletic for a while and they don’t blow out knees under all that weight. Good for them. Too bad the Rams are still in the toughest division in football.

• The Jacksonville Jaguars selected QB Blake Bortles… I’m assuming because he was raised in Florida… went to Central Florida… and looks like a quarterback. Hopefully he’s good but… is he really gonna be that much better than TEBOW??? Who you would’ve gotten for pennies on the dollar? We shall see… I’m hoping so… the Jags need a break.

• The Oakland Raiders selected LB Khalil Mack. For the first time, the NFL allowed its players to select songs to play after they were drafted as their kind of intro music. Because it was a bunch of 20 year olds there was a LOT of Drake songs selected & stuff that… frankly I don’t believe I’ve ever heard. Some of my favorites was somebody picking “Through The Wire” by Kanye West… and another doing the theme to “Rocky” but… I was REALLY waiting for Khalil to strut out on that stage to “RETUUUUUURN OF THE MACK” but alas… it was not to be.

• This got me thinking… what song would I strut on stage too if I were selected in the NFL Draft… or really anything for that matter. I’ve collected a countdown of five songs that I would be proud to do so to…



5) “Pinky Ring” by Wu Tang Clan

4) “U Don’t Know” by Jay-Z (or basically anything from “The Blueprint” could work)

3) Monday Night Football theme… it only makes sense

2) “PIMP” by 50 Cent

1) “ AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII will always love YOOUUUuuUUuuUU!!!” – Whitney Houston, tell me that wouldn’t just be f**king epic!!!



• The Cleveland Browns picked CB Justin Gilbert & then… Heisman-winning QB Johnny Manziel… which I think will work out incredibly for them. I’m not getting my hopes up too high because… it IS Cleveland… but definitely some great value picks if they work out. Best corner in the draft & a Heisman winner? Basically for free… heck, I think they even got a few extra 3rd & 4th round picks in the process. Cleveland ROCKS!!!

• The Minnesota Vikings picked both LB Anthony Barr & QB Teddy Bridgewater in the first round… and I think both are going to be Pro Bowl caliber players within two year’s time. Combined with Adrian Peterson at RB, a decent WR core, and improvements on their defense… watch out for the Vikings. I say two year’s time because allegedly they’re going to keep starting Matt Cassel at QB to mentor Teddy but… yeah, I give that four weeks at MOST.

• The Detroit Lions picked TE Eric Ebron… okay… that’s their choice… a little high for a tight end when you need some resemblance of a defense but… you are Detroit so what was I really expecting?

• With the 26th pick in the draft, the Philadelphia Eagles picked DE Marcus Smith… okay… I had seen him a few times thanks to Teddy Bridgewater playing on the same team… hopefully he’s good. He had a lot of sacks as a senior… hopefully it translates to the NFL. They need Wide Receivers though and… well, here’s a few that were available that I would’ve rather seen them take (FSU’s Kelvin Benjamin, USC’s Marqise Lee, basically anybody over six feet tall that can catch a cold)

• The New England Patriots picked Dominique Easley… who has blown out both ACL’s and has only played a handful of games the past three years… but hey, Coach Belicheck is a genius so who am I to question his decision? Hopefully he works out… I like it when guys are healthy & can be happy & productive…

• The 49ers picked a safety named Jimmie Ward from the University of Northern Illinois… and everybody in the bay area immediately Googled his name to find out who the f**k he is?



Anyway, those are my thoughts of Round One of the NFL Draft. Not too bad to sit through, right? Well, on that note, rounds two through seven are coming up tonight & tomorrow but I’m not going to bore you with anything about that. Next time, we have more beer related activity including a new larger brew kettle, a shared-brew day with Izzy’s aunts, making planting pots for hops out of an oak barrel & whatever else comes up over the weekend. Happy Mother’s Day Weekend everybody!!!